I first glimpsed non-monogamy in the real world as a record-store cashier. My co-worker, Mel, was the essence of cool: lanky and laid-back, she had a pinup bombshell of a girlfriend. They checked other girls out from behind the counter together, and talked about their separate affairs. Mixing romantic partnership with sex gossip (and music nerdery!) seemed like the apex of relationship bliss. If only I’d been born without jealousy, I thought. I never imagined that years later, without a lick of resentment, I’d be...

The hashtag #KinkTok currently has more than 3.5 billion views on TikTok. Some #KinkToks are harmless reflections of a sex-positive world in which individuals are free to share their unorthodox sexual desires without shame: Dudes dressed up as French maids! Harry Styles licking his lips! A girl listening to “WAP” while eating a breakfast sandwich for some reason! But many others are more sinister in nature, entering a violent territory that may be dangerous for young people coming to terms with their sexuality. The result,...

I’m exhausted. He’s up there sleeping, and I’ve escaped to the living room couch for refuge. His loud breathing is really getting to me. I love him dearly, but holy macaroni, I need sleep. Over the past decade, I have laid awake and annoyed on hundreds of nights, listening to his breathing for an hour before slipping out to sleep on our daughter’s extra bunk, even on blankets in the hall, anything to escape the noise. Now, I risk the loud stairs to rest, maybe...

IN MY YEARS of shopping for sex toys, I’ve seen loads of strokers meant to aid cisgender men in jerking off. Recently, however, I’ve discovered that these types of toys—which users can penetrate during masturbation, and which can simulate the feeling of getting a blow job—exist for FTM/ transmasculine people like me as well, and can accommodate genitals in various stages of medical gender transition. And that’s important, because while taking testosterone will likely increase the size of a person’s clitoris, the extent can vary...

Some say a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, but the use of milk sugar (lactose) and other animal products in birth control pills may be hard for animal lovers to swallow. While eliminating their contributions to animal suffering through the foods they eat, the fabrics they wear, and the personal hygiene products they use, vegans still may not think twice about the medications they take on a routine basis. But, like many nutritional supplements and pharmaceutical drugs, the birth control pill is...

The modern axiom is true: there’s an app for everything. Have a question about pleasure or intimacy? Need some inspo for your next solo session? Before you head to Google, try one of these women-founded sex apps that offer everything from instructional talks to erotic stories to guided meditations. Blending the latest tech with the expertise of psychologists, sexperts, and erotic writers, these picks are feminist, inclusive, and—most importantly—they focus on women’s pleasure. EmjoyFrom sexy audio stories to guided talks and meditations, this app—which focuses on...

Dr. Carol Queen pens a bittersweet goodbye to the mother of modern masturbation If you’ve ever bought a vibrator—or enjoyed masturbating any way you chose to do it, with one finger or a toybox full of gizmos—you basically have Betty Dodson to thank. Way back when, kids caught diddling were punished or worse, because masturbation (in the West, anyway, and especially in the puritanical U.S.A.) was thought to be aberrant and a sign of mental illness. Betty Dodson wasn’t the first person to stand up to...

So, you and your person are quarantined apart—or maybe, you were already in a long-distance relationship, and it looks like travel isn’t the safest option right now. You miss them; hell, you’re horny. Allow me to share some together-not-together strategies.   Keep in Touch What schedule helps you feel optimally connected? What’s the right number of texts and calls per day or week? Keep your intimacy nurtured; feed your connection.   Date Virtually Out of quarantine, you’d have rituals and rhythms. Maybe cook dinner together, have a drink after work, go...

With Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP" debuting at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 List and a record-breaking 93 million streams in its first week, the subject of women's desire, sexuality, and agency is a topic on everyone's lips. Half a century after the Stonewall Rebellion and Women’s Movement changed the landscape of sexuality and gender forevermore, a new generation of sex positive youth has emerged. In 2020, conversations about body positivity, genderfluidity, and pansexuality have moved into the mainstream, creating a shared...

  LONG-DISTANCE ROMANCE was the last thing on my mind when I joined an Internet group called Dark Witches Realm, but before I knew it, a nerdy discussion about Ada Lovelace snowballed from late-night chats to plane tickets, and now I have a bae who lives 5,000 miles away. Luckily, I have the OhMiBod BlueMotion NEX-2 Bluetooth Vibrator ($129, lovelifetoys.com). Both myself and my partner download the app, then, once approved from my end, he can express his affections by controlling the vibrator’s rhythm and speed,...