LONG-DISTANCE ROMANCE was the last thing on my mind when I joined an Internet group called Dark Witches Realm, but before I knew it, a nerdy discussion about Ada Lovelace snowballed from late-night chats to plane tickets, and now I have a bae who lives 5,000 miles away. Luckily, I have the OhMiBod BlueMotion NEX-2 Bluetooth Vibrator ($129, lovelifetoys.com). Both myself and my partner download the app, then, once approved from my end, he can express his affections by controlling the vibrator’s rhythm and speed,...