pexels photo 1876279 9ddb0

Oof. Heartbreak on top of a pandemic. If you are one of the millions of humans going through a breakup right now, my heart is with you. While reading this, you’re likely isolating in separate rooms from your live-in ex. OR you haven’t seen them in weeks and weeks, and have finally broken up through cryptic, barbiturate-enhanced text fights. Either way, your situation is brutal.

There are a few things to consider. First, be kind to each other. Any challenges you have (or had) are likely to be amplified by the apocalypse. For instance, people with control issues are losing their minds right now, and thus trying to fix the one thing — our relationship —  that feels within our control. 

Emotional unavailability? Could be a critical defense mechanism in the age of corona. Overreaction? Haha, OBVIOUSLY. 

Or...maybe y’all weren’t meant to be together. For some folks, quarantine just sped up inevitable. That’s okay, too; you'll save a lot of time wasted. THEY DIDN’T DESERVE YOU ANYWAY. 

While there are many ways to cope with your quarantine breakup, I recommend taking it like a Gen X middle-schooler. Hole up, journal that shit, and wallow in a million sad songs. (For good measure, intersperse the sad tunes with a few empowerment jams.)

A word of caution. DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX WHILE YOU LISTEN TO SAD SONGS. You will feel all the feels, and it will cloud your judgement. Text your ex instead when you listen to true crime podcasts, or something bland and unemotional like an Aaron Sorkin film. Better yet, don’t text them at all. You don't need them.


Stay strong, stay safe, stay home. Fuck the haters.

Top photo by Marcelo Chagas via Pexels


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Melanie LaForce is the author of the funny-awesome book Corn-Fed: Cul-de-Sacs, Keg Stands, and Coming of Age in the Midwest. Find her zine at; on IG @reclusebabeofficial, and Twitter @recluse_babe.