boss b7aa5

It’s been a shitty couple of weeks. Given the political climate, the actual climate, and that little old impending nuclear war...well, sometimes we need solid tunes to get us through the day OR get us off our asses. Enjoy this Summer Empowerment Playlist, chock-full of bad ass babes pumping out killer jams:

You're making protest posters: "Rhythm Nation" by Janet Jackson

janet 

You had a badass day at work and totally shut down Chad: "Bossy" by Kelis 

kelis

Oh, and you also shut down Todd when he tried to steal your idea: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar

no

 

You rolled the fattest blunt this side of the Atlantic: "Bad Girls" by M.I.A. 

mia

You totally owned that Buns of Steel workout: "Booty" by J.Lo

buns

You persevered through a shitty panic attack: "Roar" by Katy Perry

excited

You got a new vibrator: "Oops" by Tweet

jello

You made it to payday! "Cash, Diamond Rings, Swimming Pools" by Dena 

rich

Your bae goes up to do karaoke and totally picks Ginuwine’s “Pony”: "Take It Off" by The Donnas

pony

You broke a heart and are sorry not sorry: "Dancin' With Myself" by Robyn

dance 

You maybe just scored a super hot threesome for Friday night: "Hands to Myself" by Selena Gomez

three

You won the shove war during your morning commute on the subway or bus: "Barracuda" by Heart

subway 

Your Advil finally kicked in and your cramps are easing into a blissful uterine cloud: "Sheezus" by Lily Allen

oprah 

You just booked a dope Airbnb for the weekend on the Lower East Side: "I Can’t Wait" by Nu Shooz

winona 

Your glare stopped a catcaller dead in his tracks: "Ladykiller" by LUSH

dog 

You crafted a “Patriarchy” voodoo doll, complete with poorly-fitting two piece suit: "Oh Bondage, Up Yours!" by X- Ray Spex

president

top photo: still from Kelis "Bossy"

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Melanie LaForce is the author of the funny-awesome book Corn-Fed: Cul-de-Sacs, Keg Stands, and Coming of Age in the Midwest. @rileycoyote.

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