Dad Jokes

It’s that time of year again; the oh-so-blessed time of year when supposedly high-end grilling supplies, bacon-scented candles, and those tired t-shirts that proclaim whoever is wearing them is, in fact, “The World’s Greatest Dad” start overtaking your local supermarket.

Indeed, it is the season for masculinity to run amok, even more so than every other time of the year. Father’s Day, Dad’s Day, “Oops…I Finished Early And Now We’re Going To Have A Baby Day,” – however you refer to this holiday is unimportant. What is important, however, is remembering to honor that special guy in your life that thinks “pull my finger” jokes are still relevant in 2016. After all, you owe him some sort of thank-you for all of those sweat-stained t-shirts you stole from him to sport ironically. So, pull on your tube socks, crank up the Dinosaur Jr., and check out these unique gifts that were made specifically with rad dads in mind. 

1. The Dad Coloring Book by Nicole Daddona 

Dad Coloring Book

Take your dad back to his glory days of being forced to watch you scribble outside the lines as a child (and stain the carpet with markers) with this gem of a coloring book! But this time, rather than coloring pictures of boring Disney characters, you and your dad can spend time coloring over a dozen pages of dad-themed material together. Yeeeeeehaw.

The Dad Coloring Book, $15, Amazon 

2. A Crass, Customized Card 

Glad You Didnt Pull Out Card

Running low on cash? These customizable greeting cards are only $5, and honestly, what better way to say, "I'm thankful you're my dad" than with a card that says, "Dad, I'm so glad you didn't pull out." If you think of a more effective method, let me know (you won't, though). 

Customized Greeting Cards, $5, Four Letter Word Cards on Etsy 

3. "Teenage Daughter Survivor" Mug 

 Coffee Mug

OK, I admit it, Dad. I was totally an annoying, angsty teenage daughter at one point. But hey, look how I turned out. Right? No? *crickets chirping* At least accept this mug as a token of my forgiveness. 

Coffee Mug, $14, Look at These Cups on Etsy 

4. Dads are the Original Hipsters by Brad Getty 

Dads are the Original Pictures

This book is chalked full of vintage photographs featuring mustached dads rocking short-shorts, downing PBR, and listening to vinyl WAY before Urban Outfitters decided these things were trendy. Tell your dad you think he's a cool dude by giftting him this book for Father's Day.

Dads are the Original Hipsters Book, $8, Amazon

5. Batman Apron

Batman Apron

It's 2016. Everyone who doesn't live with their head up their ass acknowledges that fact that anyone abiding by any gender can cook and clean. So, Dad, why not look bad AF while doing it in this Batman apron?

Batman Apron, $11.50, Amazon 

6. Disposable Flatulence Deodorizer

Fart Deodarizer copy

But...What are dads if not the masters of farting? You know it's true. They're always letting them go and blaming it on the dog. They'll never stop. There is no escape. But, you can at least lessen the blow by gifting them these pads that make their gas smell like mints. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Flatulence Deodorizer, $38, Amazon

7. "You are my Father" Customizable Notebook 

Star Wars Notebook

For the Star Wars-loving dads of the world, this customizable notebook, which allows you to provide a loving byline, makes for a perfectly cute, inexpensive, and practical present. 

Star Wars Notebook, $8, MisterScribbles on Etsy 

8. Slang Flashcards 

Slang Flashcards

Unless he's like my father, who uses the word "dank" on a daily basis, your father probably has some learning to do when it comes to that yung, hip slang. Give him the boost he needs with this pack of Slang Flashcards. It will make for an absolutely #lit Father's Day, fam.

Slang Flashcards by Knock Knock, $11, Amazon

9. How to Traumatize Your Children by Knock Knock

 How to Traumatize Your Kids copy

In my experience, dads don't typically need much help in this department. Like, you should see my dad dance...in public spaces. All of the time. Nonetheless, this makes for a humorous gift, and could provide more creative methods than releasing an earth-shattering belch at the dinner table in a swanky restaurant. 

How to Traumatize Your Children by Knock Knock, $9, Amazon

10. Customized Toilet Paper 

 Money TP

It is a proven fact that dads spend 95% of their lives on the toilet, so make their bathroom experience extra special with this stylish customized toilet paper. Your dad will feel like a million bucks as he wipes with a million bucks. (Also, you can buy toilet paper with Donald Trump's face on it, soooooo...) 

Customized Toilet Paper, $9, Amazon 

More From BUST 

 8 Gifts for the Feminist Dad

Six Ways to Get Your Glow On This Summer

22 Josephine Baker Photos and Quotes to Celebrate Her Legacy

 

An excessively queer Aquarius with a LOT of opinions. Things I'm passionate about include, but are not limited to: writing (duh), my pet bunnies/animals in general, LGBTQIA+ issues, Sleater-Kinney, massive helpings of spaghetti, RuPaul's Drag Race, tacky horror movies, never shutting up about astrology/how gay I am, et cetera. 

Feel free to reach out to me on social media!

Instagram: poptartdaddy

Twitter: @Derickidontcare

Email: gdiekho@gmail.com 

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