Today in silly news: Julie Baker, a Baltimore woman, got a note from her neighbor saying she needed to tone down her decorations because her “yard is becoming Relentlessly Gay!” (She had rainbow solar lights in her yard.) Baker had the proper reaction to this note—she set up a GoFundMe page to raise funds for more “relentlessly gay” yard decorations. Currently, she has raised over $30,000 to maker her home the gayest it can be. We’ve rounded up the top ten items you need to make your home relentlessly gay too.
1. Rainbow Flag
A rainbow flag is an essential decoration for a relentlessly gay home. My favorite thing about this flag in particular is that it is both a rainbow flag and an American flag. This paints the picture that the U.S. itself is a relentlessly gay nation.
Put this banner on your curb to flag over any gays who drive by!
Everyone who walks up to your house needs to walk through a rainbow arch first. It cleanses them of any heterosexual aura that may be attached.
Sometimes you just need to take a big ole' gay nap and what better to do so on than a rainbow hammock? Naps are always best in the sun—just ask your cat!
If you get too hot during your nap, you can hop right into your rainbow inflatable pool. This is a bit more of a neon, rave-like rainbow pattern than a traditional rainbow—but what better way to start a Pride party?
Just in case people don't understand that this is in fact a gay household and not just a rainbow-themed house, put this sign up by the rainbow banner so people will know the truth.
The best kind of game is a lawn game and the best lawn game is cornhole. Of course you need your cornhole boards rainbow themed too. Perfect for when you're having a BBQ—cornhole bag in one hand, sausage in the other.
Sometimes you need to be able to just sit in your front yard and take in this wonderful homosexual universe we are a part of. These beach chairs even have cupholders!
Nobody wants a sunburn, so an extra-large rainbow beach umbrella is a must. Bonus: you can bring your umbrella and beach chairs on your annual trip to Fire Island.
No yard is complete without a large inflatable penis! This one is 6 feet tall!
Bonus Attire: Rainbow Tunic
Sadly, Jenny Lewis' rainbow suit is not for sale, but this rainbow tunic is! Wear it anytime you hang out in your relentlessly gay yard. The tunic shape suits everyone!
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Image courtesy of Reddit-user jill853