Is that an unexpected earthquake causing all that rumbling ruckus? Nah, it's Hurricane Sissy Nobby, with high chances of torrential 'ass' and possibility of severe booty-clappin' thunder.
Or, maybe it's just Big Freedia and giant pals dancing next to your office building.
But in all seriousness, we all know Hurricane Irene is on her way up the East Coast. The window of time for last minute preparedness is narrowing as the storm approaches a Saturday landfall in North Carolina. Amtrak and major U.S. airlines are canceling flights and routes left and right. The New York MTA is shutting down service on Saturday, beginning at noon. Drivers are likely to face heavy traffic as residents of evacuation zones head for the highway.
Depending on your area, Hurricane Irene may just drop a tinkle, fingers crossed (tightly). But it's better to prepare for the worst than shrug off a storm that Weather.com is calling an EXTRAORDINARY THREAT TO THE U.S. (The caps are adding to my anxiety. Thanks Weather.com.) Charge your phone, check your Rx status, stock up on grub, and make sure your animal friends will be safe and sound (with you or at the kennel.)
Events all along the East Coast are being canceled, so invite your friends over for a night in, put on some sissy bounce, and whip up a few Hurricanes. Or, if you're me, stock up on these Hurricanes. (And then make your own hurricane in the toilet!)
Check the news frequently for updates on the evacuation and safety status of your county. Here are some helpful links to ensure your hurricane preparedness:
CNN's Live blog on Hurricane Irene