Dear everyone who has ever said, "You'll want kids someday,"

Let’s start from the beginning. At the age of 15, I watched, “The Miracle of Life,” in my biology class, and nearly vomited everywhere during the childbirth scene. This doesn’t make me different from anyone else in the class, because we were all in shock. If you show a 15-year-old an unshaved coochie with a child coming out of it, the reaction is going to be negative. Actually, anybody old enough to understand childbirth will probably be disgusted—I certainly couldn’t watch it again.

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Sidenote: If you’re one of those people that believe childbirth makes a woman glow and the whole process is beautiful, literally get out. No you don’t. 

Anyway, what made me different from my peers was my decision to never want to go through the process. Seriously, I decided right then and there that I didn’t want kids. I watched this sweaty woman suffer as a HUMAN exited her vagina, and thought to myself, “Nope. No. I don’t think so.”

Seriously, what the f***?

Eight years have passed since that day, and as my decision remains stagnant, so do the comments concerning changing my mind. All too often I have to deal with explaining myself, yet my peers that want kids almost never have to justify their decision. Why is that? Why is our society obsessed with women bearing children? In this day and age, you’d think we’d accept the woman that wants to work 40 hours a week instead of settling down with a child.

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While our society is progressing — childlessness is at an all time low amongst women past their childbearing years —we still have a long way to go before the questions stop. And though I could certainly continue my educational spiel regarding the statistics of childless women, I don’t want to bore. Instead, I want to highlight key points in my decision so that anyone with misconceptions about my character can understand.

1) I don’t want to go through the pain. I commend any and all women who have or are going to give birth; it isn’t for me, though. Descriptors of this process include but are not limited to: cramping, tightening, pounding, burning, waves of pain, and pressure. If you want to experience this, snaps for you, but don’t judge my choice not to.

2) I don’t have the funds. Currently, the average cost of raising a child in the U.S. is $245,340. I’m sorry, what? With my spending habits and desires, I’m enough human being to raise on my own. Plus, I have a dog, which is nowhere near as expensive. Please don’t call me selfish, either. In fact, it’s more selfish to have a child than not (see below).

3) 7 billion people in the world and counting. Overpopulation in the world is a thing, and the demand for food and water is only going to increase with the number of bodies on this planet. There is only an estimated .3% of water for us to actually use. That being said, I’m not being selfish, thank you very much.

Ultimately, my decision to not want kids is my own. I understand I will not be able to satisfy the needs and wants of others, but in the end my body is mine, not yours, and I can do whatever I want with it.

Respectfully yours,

 
Samantha B.
 
This is a personal essay and the original article can be found on The Baumshell Blog
 
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