So much little time. It's been one of those weeks where the world is just especially out of whack. Someone tell me if it's still Mercury Retrograde? Is the apocalypse from Melancholia happening for real? I want answers, people!!

In the mean time, here's all the frustrating jibber-jabber you need to know:



• Kat Von D's makeup line came under fire for a shade of lipstick charmingly titled "Celebutard." I used to wistfully wonder what it would be like to sit around all day and name nail polish or crayon colors...but now that dream is forever crushed. 


• An 8th-grade boy was suspended from school for his refusal to stop wearing a particularly lovely Vera Bradley purse. He's refusing to return to school until the administration concedes to let him wear the bag. Right on.



• Feminique, an ultra sex-positive and educational boutique owned by "The Sexologist" Dr. Jill, is closing its doors at the end of the month. According to Dr. Jill, she's been repeatedly harassed and treated unfairly by her county's law enforcement. Do I smell a Chocolat-esque Lifetime movie? Anybody? (Fortunately, the shop will continue to run online!)


• Nancy Pelosi did David Letterman's Top Ten the other night...and three people clapped. We still love ya Big P!


• Some ultra-crazy pants college doucher decided to enlighten the world to the fact that "Rape Culture Does Not Exist." You will need a barf bag for this one.


• Alanis Morissette's opus magnum "Jagged Little Pill" is becoming...wait for it...a Broadway musical. 

And now...