If you ever make the trek to Knollwood Church in Alabama, you might be in for a sermon from the twilight zone. The Huffington Post reports that the church’s pastor, Aaron Fruh, has some pretty out-there things to say about the Chick-fil-A controversy.
Apparently, not only is same-sex marriage an “experiment” that sends God into a hissy fit, but it's also to blame for the great flood. At this point, I’m sure you’re all scratching your heads and Googling “Noah’s ark,” but this particular story won’t be found within the pages of the Bible.
“God knew that the people on the earth were going to destroy themselves through same-sex marriage, and so that's why he brought the flood,” Fruh told American Family Radio while defending anti-gay fast food chain Chick-fil-A.
Oh, so God decided to slaughter nearly every man, woman, and child on Earth…because he knew that one day, Adam and Steve would get hitched. Got it. Now, we don’t know how Fruh came to this gem of a thought, but I have a feeling it involves a boatload of batshit crazy, one too many trips to Bible study, and a crush on that new guy down the road.
And now we know what mediocre chicken with a side of homophobia can do to people! I think I’ll skip the fatty fast food and chill with the Muppets, who’ve just called it quits with the chain. Who’s ready to add some veggies back into their diets?
Images courtesy of Chick-fil-A and the Wooden Wagon