There's a cute woman wearing headphones in front of you and you'd like to chat her up but you're a bit skeptical. Don't worry: there is a new guide on how to approach a woman listening to tunes.
1) Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).
2) Have a confident, easy-going smile.
3) If she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can see it.
If she is still ignoring you, simply take off her headphones for her, and flash her your lovely smile. Maybe even slide in next to her and grab her chin, so she is forced to stare into your eyes and see all of your perfection. The complete guide is broken down and easily explained by Dan Bacon in Modern Man. If you follow his advice, you'll be like this guy below.
Seriously, if a guy took off my headphones, I would fucking slap him.
Women get enough harassment, stares, and leers without headphones. And now we have to worry about being badgered while wearing our only saving grace. Headphones are usually my sole protection from unwanted attention, my signal to the world that I don't want to be bothered.
This dating expert is advocating for men to violate a woman's personal space and take away their precious alone time . Frankly—I don't care how handsome, how confident, how suave you are—my headphones are a sign to leave me alone.
This type of nauseating advice encourages men to violate nonverbal body language and exercise their power to support their egos. After just a week of living in NYC, I realized quickly that sexual harassment was a serious issue. I came home from work the other night and a man tried to kiss me. A fucking kiss! On the subway platform!
Luckily, I've never been harassed while wearing headphones. I thought most decent human beings understood that it's a cue to be left alone. Apparently not. In response to the article, women have posted on Reddit about their experiences of being violated while wearing headphones, filled with angry and aggravated men in response to their silence. One woman wrote, "I was sitting next to a sign saying Quiet Zone in the library, headphones in, laptop in front of me. When I smiled politely and gave him a one-word answer then went back to my work, he yelled,'WHY DONT YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME'".
Lauren Parker has come up with alternative guides for men looking to disrupt and violate women, as discussed in Medium.
Step 1) Stand across the street from her. At least 30 yards. Face away from her. Make her come to you. Play hard to get.
2) Light yourself on fire. Your screams should get her notice.
But on a more serious note. Please don't talk to women who are wearing headphones. Don't be an asshole. It's sexual harassment. You're contributing to a culture that allows and excuses harm to women's bodies in public spaces.
Top Photo from Absolute Abilities
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Patricia is a writer, activist, and aspiring journalist. She likes writing about politics, sexuality, and feminism. She is a bit of a wanderer and has lived in Morocco, Australia, and India. Recently moved to Brooklyn, she is currently learning to navigate NYC subways.