“Hello, I’m Sy Thomas, I am a single man growing increasingly frustrated with online dating.”
“It got me thinking, what if I was a woman? Maybe I’d learn techniques from the men who try to woo me?”
Sy is a British comedian who was recently high-fived all over BuzzFeed for his super edgy video where he concocts a brilliant scheme to fix his lamentable dating life. Wondering what it’s like “on the other side,” Sy dons a wig and makeup and signs up for Tinder as not Sy, but Simone, pointedly lowering his actual age of 36 to 28, uh, of course?
In just 3 days, Simone receives over 400 messages – WOW!
Unfortunately, the missives he shares in the video are incomprehensible at best, sleazy and insulting at worst. Ranging from simply a winky-face emoji to “You look like trash,” Sy reads through Simone’s messages with amazement. “You’d never say that to someone in a bar!” he laughs.
Now let me step up to womansplain: “Actually, Sy...” ALL THE TIME.
Now the video is garnering accolades and virtual thumbs-ups for Sy “understanding what it’s like to be a woman.” Wait, what? Please, watch the video before you jump to conclusions. The video description reads: “A single man tries out dating apps as a woman to see if he can learn any messaging tips with some surprising results.” Oh, so he put on a wig for some giggles! He’s a comedian! He’s not trying to walk a mile in our sensible pumps to understand our struggles. He’s trying to figure out why he can’t get a date by going Tootsie on Tinder. I’m not qualified to comment on whether or not that in itself is offensive, but if you are, I respectfully ask: Please do!
Then, he told BuzzFeed he was inspired to this experiment by chatting with his female friends about the messages they received on dating apps but...couldn’t he have just, I dunno, LISTENED TO THEM?
“I’d heard from a lot of female friends about dick pics and creepy messages, but I had never experienced it so it was a real eye-opener,” Sy explained.
The attitude of “I don’t experience it therefore it’s not real” is what makes us women, oh, how did you put it? "Increasingly frustrated"? If your intentions were to understand us — and the mountain of garbage that is shovelled on us when we open up and put ourselves out there online — you didn’t need to wear boob pads, Sy! You could have just listened to those female friends of yours! And not just one or two of them, but as you say, “lots”! LOTS of WOMEN, Sy! But not enough for you, apparently? How many of your “lots of female friends” have to open their Tinder messages and show you the messages they get like:
“If you were a washing machine, I’d put my dirty load inside you”
“Are you a cigarette? Because you’re smoking hot and I want to put your butt in my mouth.”
“Can I lick your p***y?”
before you’ll actually believe them?
I’m so glad you did this, Sy. By going to the trouble of shaving your beard, plucking your eyebrows and getting sexually harassed online, you’ve shown exactly how far men will go to deny women’s experiences are real. Because you didn’t have to squirm into a lace dress to learn that online dating sucks for women, too. You could have just taken our word for it.
So I’m not upset at all, Sy. In fact, I want to listen to you! At the 1:12 mark, you say: “I’ve not been on a date in actually years...” (epic burn in 3...2...1...) and I completely believe you, Sy.
More from BUSTGhosts, Murders and Mayhem Walking Tours. She is open-minded about everything, but intolerant to gluten. She blogs at meghansara.com, is a regular contributor to Femnasty, and tweets her feelings @MeghanSaraK.