Hey, did you know it's International Men's Day today? 

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Your optimism is cute, dear reader, but no--International Men's Day is not a day when we get to sit on satin pillows, eat cupcakes, and discuss the atrocities men have wreaked upon our lives. It's not a day where we sit around objectifying them, either. 

International Men's Day is actually a bonafide day to celebrate men. Because it must be so tough to live in a world where your word is the law, where your fantasies are plastered all over subway cars, where you can get paid more than other human beings just because you have a penis. 

International Women's Day is March 8th of every year, and if I'm remembering every March 8th correctly, there's always a major twitter outcry. "But where is International Men's Day?" Men ask.

God. Can you just shut up. I don't know. Reading and writing so much about idiot men is giving me flashbacks to my days babysitting the rich babies of Brooklyn. These men are so helpless in a world where women are, quite literally, spoonfeeding them. But we're not babysitters who are doing this for money...we're doing it for free.

The fact that the world has the audacity to celebrate these clowns has surfaced all the feelings that words just can't express, so here are 10 gifs to give you a better idea.

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