The latest in a long tradition of vomiting pink every October in the name of boobs comes from several police departments’ attempts to brighten their public relations. The police of Greenfield, Massachusetts, are using pink handcuffs to for realsies arrest people. For breast cancer. Sounds bizarre? Sounds kinda stupid and useless? Well, that’s because you’re a heartless monster.

The police of Anne Arundel County, Maryland, have gone the extra mile to repaint their jail cell pink complete with an adorable pink ribbon.

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The county sheriff, Ron Bateman, told ABC2

“So maybe one day when they’re 30 years old and they’re thinking about this event that’s burned in their mind about being in jail for a small period of time, they’ll also remember that symbol. Maybe it will cause them to donate; maybe it will cause them to do something."

Lolz! No it won’t, and you are completely insane to think it will.

An inmate, DuWayne Mason, thinks people will totally notice: "I think they maybe would start taking notice of the pink walls because it's a difference, it's a real big difference as opposed to any other jail.” Indeed sir, indeed. It is objectively a different color than other jail cells. For those of you who think that a new paint job might not be enough to cross the border between someone noticing the scenery around them and actually giving someone their money, you are obviously incorrect so go sit in the corner of a boring-ass regular jail cell.

Perhaps the most bizarre development comes from the police department of Chillicothe, Ohio. October 16th will be the third year that Chillicothe citizens can take part in a fundraiser called Cuffs For A Cure, where they volunteer to be fake arrested and pay a “bail” of $100 that is donated to the Komen foundation.

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Police Sgt. Nick Bridges thinks it’s a real swell idea:

“Since October is breast cancer awareness month, I originally got the idea while watching sports. Sports teams usually do something cool throughout the month to raise money for breast cancer and I wanted to start something that would be good for the community. We hope to bring awareness to the community. This is just another way we can spread a positive message throughout the community and ultimately do something good, for a good cause.”

He just wants to do something positive! Why should sports teams have all the fun? Who needs pink football when you can pink arrest someone for shits and giggles? Call me crazy, but I think that maybe victims of police brutality might disagree about the positives about being arrested. Then again, what the hell do they know?

 

Images via Facebook, ABC2News

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Taia is a fabulous human who is working and writing in New York City. She writes about politics, reproductive rights, and pop culture. When not writing she likes to sleep, read Carl Sagan, and do as many squats as her legs can handle. Follow her on Twitter @taiahandlin and Facebook as Taia Handlin.

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