In case you missed it, late last week, a man’s Instagram post about how much he loves his “curvy wife” went viral — first, for being so “inspirational,” and then, because people were making fun of how this dude thinks that being attracted to a woman who isn’t a size zero makes him a Feminist Hero (TM).
Here’s the post, by Robbie Tripp, who describes himself in his Instagram bio as “Husband to a curvy goddess”:
The text reads:
I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as "chubby" or even "fat." Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (thin, tall, lean) I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll, etc. Her shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one featured in my life and in my heart. There's nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident; this gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the most beautiful one in the room. Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She's real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty. Girls, don't ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah.
Yeah, so this calls for a massive eyeroll.
But the internet did even better. Enjoy:
I’m Josh, and I love my fat disgusting pig-wife.
I’m a freelance author and lifestyle blogger. My wife is a fatass and tub of lard. I met my wife Charlotte at the county fair when I mistook her for one of the prize hogs and started feeding her corn out of my palm, careful to keep my fingers curled in so that she wouldn’t gnaw off the tips of my fingers. About a full four minutes into feeding her, I realized she wasn’t actually a hog, but was actually a very fat yet somehow sexually attractive woman! We quickly fell in love, even as she never kept her eyes off the corn. We’ve been inseparable ever since, partially because I always have a little bit of corn in my hand and she’s always sniffing and licking it. She’s so cute like that.
Would an Instagram post that said the following — written by a woman — ever be praised by the entire internet?
I love this man and his thin, pale body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to skinny guys with questionable facial hair, ones who were weaker and not athletic, boys that the average (basic) chick might refer to as “pasty” or even “mediocre.” Then, as I became a woman and started to educate myself on issues such as how the media constantly applauds men for everything they do, I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this man right here: weak chin, pale legs, cute little Miami Vice-era facial hair, etc. His shape and size won’t be the one featured on the cover of Esquire, but it’s the one featured in my life and in my heart. There’s nothing sexier to me than a man who is both totally average and confident; this cute man I married has never filled out a muscle shirt in his life and is still the hottest guy in the room. Girls, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real man is not a porn star or a underwear model or a movie character. He’s real. He has quirky facial hair, a receding hair line, beautiful scrawny legs and cute pale arms. Boys, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a girl out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Robbie.
This post was originally published on August 7, 2017
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