The jury’s still out as to whether or not Ted Cruz, Republican — er, second-runner to real-life Oompa Loompa? — is the Zodiac Killer. And he definitely looks like a toddler lying to his parents about flushing his dad’s expensive watch down the toilet just for fun. But is he also in a Christian rock band?
This viral Facebook post seems pretty convincing! Hey! Is that Ted Cruz?!
Naw, it’s Michael Sweet, lead singer of Stryper! And he’s taking it pretty well, considering the other things Ted Cruz has been rather unfavorably compared to:
In fact, both Buzzfeed and Distractify have compiled long lists of things Ted Cruz’s confidence-less visage has been compared to.
Denizens of the Internet, I Beseech Thee: Please never stop comparing Ted Cruz to things like Grandpa Munster, Tobey Maguire, and the living embodiment of a sigh:
Gauntlet thrown, America! What does Ted Cruz look like to you? Best tweet wins a croissant! I'll start:
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Meghan Sara is a tour guide for Ghosts, Murders and Mayhem Walking Tours. She is open-minded about everything, but intolerant to gluten. She blogs at meghansara.com, is a regular contributor to Femnasty, and tweets her feelings @MeghanSaraK.