I’ve never seen pumpkins as threatening, but maybe I’m wrong to assume safety in commonplace front porch décor—you never know what’s lurking. The way this Thumbelina-sized fuzzball yips, you’d think he was seeing horrific visions in seasonal kitsch. These furry little jumps and helpless squeals in the face of a paranormal pumpkin melted my heart. 

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Poor little Bilbo, rightfully yipping away at a haunted pumpkin to no avail. I trust animal intuition: there must be a message from the occult embedded somewhere in this mini squash. Since I can’t see what he sees, and frankly I'm just too damn lazy to get out the Ouiji, I’m going to have to just sit here and smile my ghost-illiterate smile, and be happy this creature has blessed me with his revoltingly cute insights into pumpkin spirits. 

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