Oh baby. Today in products you didn’t ask for, a specialty lollipop company called Lollyphile has “candified” the unique flavor of breast milk into wee lollies. You might be thinking, ‘hey – I have all my teeth and no longer wear diapers - this ain’t for me!’ But stop right there! Step one for enjoying these suckers is to turn off your brain.
“Any company can make up nostalgic flavors,” says Jason Darling, the company’s owner. “We’d like to think that we’re tapping into a flavor our customers loved before they even knew how to think.”
Well that’s reassuring. While the world already has breast milk jewelry, breast milk cheese, and breast milk ice cream, Lollyphile stands apart by not using actual breast milk in its product. Mothers shared their milk with the Lollyphile “flavor specialists” who worked to duplicate it without using it in the recipe. That also means the lollies are vegan.
Breast milk joins Sriracha, bourbon, chocolate bacon, absinthe, and more in Lollyphile’s specialty stock. It seems like they can be used as novelty gifts, or perhaps at baby showers, for those curious about the milk’s taste but wary about actually putting their mouths to some boobs. Or you can just buy some and suck them seductively while the juices drip down your sexy chin:
Erg. Breast milk is rad and all, but do these promo materials make Lollyphile seem a bit too American Apparel-ish? When you add babies and baby food to the mix, the result is kind of…unsettling.
Some people are really unimpressed with the whole shebang, like L.A.-based lactation consultant Brandi Jordan. She argues that products like these sexualize and trivialize breast feeding. According to Jordan, the breast should be seen as "a tool to nurture and provide nourishment," and sexualizing it adds to the "shame and embarrassment" some women feel about breast feeding. Those feelings aren't good for mommies, babies, or anybody with boobs.
But maybe these suckers are all in good fun. They go for $2.50 a pop or $58 for a case of 36 - order some from Lollyphile’s site if you're curious, and tell us what you think!