Dear Brooklynite BUSTees: If you find yourself in trouble with cops in the future, just blame it on your seductive hipster boyfriend! Works like a charm.
Sophia Anderson, former Bushwick resident, almost took the blame when her ex-boyfriend, Daniel Sajewski, drunk-drove his parents’ Mercedes into a house in Long Island. She has since been “conditionally dismissed” of charges, and is on probation for six months. Her lawyer, John LoTurco, claims that the only reason Anderson was in this situation to begin with was because of the hip Brooklyn lifestyle she’d been living with her ex-bf. Obviously. Come on, Johnny boy, everybody knows that hipsters don’t drive cars.
LoTurco says, “She’s doing great . . . without the negative influences of Daniel and the allure of Brooklyn...The allure of Brooklyn was her boyfriend’s circle of friends and the hipster lifestyle that was going on at that period of time — the drinking, the drugging.” Riiiight...
I can just picture it now: A good girl moves to the city to pursue her dreams, but somehow winds up at a Girls-worthy warehouse party off the Bedford Ave L. Bad boy Daniel offers to buy her a PBR tallboy and it’s all downhill from there. She finds herself trading her old wardrobe for thrifted flannel, thick glasses, and Pixies t-shirts. Her vinyl collection is out of control, growing larger by the minute. She soon acquires infamous Skrillex hair and Daniel even took her to a Dirty Projectors show! Luckily, this is all over and she’s now living safe and sound back home in Connecticut. PHEW.