Texts from Jane Eyre Turns Literary Classics Into Hilarious Convos

by Mariana Garces

Have you ever wondered how texting might have changed the dialogue in Les Misérables? Mallory Ortberg, cofounder of The Toast (only the funniest website written by and for ladies) and all around reigning queen of Twitter, has taken this idea and ran with it. Texts from Jane Eyre (Henry Holt Nov. 4 2014) is the beautiful result: a collection of the best imagined conversations with all the characters from the literary classics. What started with Jane Eyre and Rochester as a humor column on The Hairpin in 2012, lead to texts from Pride and Prejudice and eventually to the late night texts you would expect to see between Ron and Hermione. 

Rochester: 

JANE

MY LITTLE SUNBEAM
WHERE ARE YOU
I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

Jane:
I’m taking a walk
be back for dinner

Rochester:
AH YES MY CAGED SPRITE
COMMUNE WITH NATURE AND UPON YOUR RETURN
RELATE TO ME THE VAGRANT GLORIES OF THE  RUINED WOODS

Jane:
do you really want me to describe my walk to you

Rochester:
MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU POCKET WITCH

Tuesday night, Housing Works Bookstore Cafe hosted a conversation between Ortberg and Tumblr’s Rachel Fershleiser. The small bookstore quickly filled up to capacity with so many cult fans of the author that some were watching stage-side on the floor and hanging from the staircases. They were not disappointed. Mallory Ortberg is just as raucously funny in person as in her famous Toast column “Women Who Want to be Alone in Western Art History.” With Rachel Fershleiser playing the straight man to Ortberg’s cast of ridiculous literary character impressions, I found myself at the funniest book reading I’ve ever been to. As in her other writing, Ortberg finds a way of lampooning the ridiculous characters of the past (both fictional and non fiction) thanks to her endless knowledge of and passion for western literature and history and her sharp humor. Ortberg was also extremely friendly and humble during the book signing portion of the event, taking pictures with everyone and even stopping to talk to her fans about why the Rory/Paris friendship in Gilmore Girls is the real love story of the show

Pick up the new book today so that where ever you are reading it you can feel smarter and you can laugh your ass off. And click here to see if she is doing a book reading near you! 

 

Image courtesy of Henry Holt. 

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