Cosmo Hates Jessica Alba

by Emilie Branch

No, not really—she’s a typical fixture in Cosmopolitan Magazine, and generally represents what the magazine stands for (like shopping, and being sexy). However, that didn’t stop the editors from writing the phrase “Untamed Va-jay-jays” around the area where her actual vagina should be. It’s definitely eye-catching if not because it’s offensive yet cutesy than because it’s visually so white and bold.

The “va-jay-jay” got its origin on a 2007 episode of “Grey’s Anatomy”(a medical drama) and was than picked up by Oprah. She adopted it into her lexicon, using it so often that gossip television started to make fun of it; there’s even a youtube va-jay-jay remix with over 24,000 hits.  It was then featured on a 2008 cover of Cosmo featuring Rhianna, in which it was used to describe “your lovely lady parts”. In spite of this, the term “va-jay-jay” hasn’t made such an unapologetic appearance in the media for a while. Cue untamed Jess Alba.

The va-jay-jay story is about the new trends in pubic hair, ranging from the au natural to the vajazzled (rhinestones adorn the pubic triangle, like underwear that won’t come off). Jennifer Love Hewitt is a staunch vajazzler, and talked about it on “Lopez Tonight”; look at the shock and dismay on George Lopez’s face when she tells him she’s currently “vajazzled”. George Lopez looks a bit the way I did when I saw the mag on the newsstand and than realized what was going on inside its pages—but I think my mouth was a bit more agape the whole time.

Worse than the shock over this issue, are the questions. For instance, why aren’t American women viewed as mature enough to handle the word vagina? Would a men’s magazine ever refer to the penis as a pe-nay-nay (under a photo of George Clooney)? Are people generally offended by the word vagina, and what does that mean for women? Are we still supposed to mask our sex and be embarrassed of it? Why do women feel the need to vajazzle, and why is female pubic hair a matter of public discourse? Hmph!

Sorry, if that was all a bit too Liberal Arts school, but I figured these issues could be comfortably aired on BUST. Let us know what you think, so we can get to the bottom of the va-jay-jay debate. 

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