Unleash That Heavy Flow On Your Least Favorite Politicos

by Courtney Bissonette

When the blood is coming out of your wherever, get over those red blues and bleed all over Ted Cruz! When the tampon’s failin’, spill on Sarah Palin, and the next time you shed your vaginal wall, this one’s on Rand Paul. 

Okay, I’m done, but Cute Fruit Undies aren’t. The Washington-based Etsy shop has turned its super absorbant undies into vaginal vengence by selling period panties with the faces of all those fucking politicians who can’t get their heads out of their asses and their opinions out of our vaginas.

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The company has added blood dumpsters to their already awesome period pants. According to the shop, “Blood Dumpsters, aka the face of a US politician who has worked to hinder women’s reproductive rights is in the crotch of every pair of undies for YOU to bleed all over!”

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The underwear sells for $29.99 and “$3 dollars of every sale goes to a Planned Parenthood located in the state affected by your chosen Blood Dumpster.”

Cool trick, the blood from your period matches Trump’s unnatural skin tone so well, you can make him disappear! If only the underwear absorbed sound, we could put them on our ears and not have to hear the nonsense that comes out of their mouth-holes. Buy yours here!

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