This week on Broad City, Abbi and Ilana celebrate another anniversary of their friendship.
On Abbi and Ilana's giant faces:
Lindsay: Abbi has an Ilana body pillow. Who would you get a body pillow of?
Danielle: Bruce Springsteen. Or Bruce Springsteen’s dog.
Lindsay: What does his dog look like?
Danielle: I dunno.
Lindsay: It’s not a body pillow! It’s just a giant face!
Danielle: Why is she bringing the giant face?
Lindsay: I don’t know, but I love it.
During a commercial break:
Lindsay: Hold on, I have to control my dogs. Ugh, I stepped in pee.
Danielle: Oh, I’m sorry.
Lindsay: It’s fine. This is my life.
Danielle: I picked up a puppy yesterday that I wasn’t supposed to pick up. But it was OK because in the end, I got to hold a puppy. Are you ready?
When Abbi is on her scavenger hunt:
Lindsay: Ilana is so good at this.
Danielle: Oh my god, no way. She was puppy hair!
Danielle: How much do you think this scavenger hunt cost for her to make?
Lindsay: I think a lot of people owed her favors in town.
When Abbi and Ilana eat chicken fingers for their friendiversary:
Danielle: We should do this, Lindsay! A friendiversary!
Lindsay: When we have our friendiversary can we have too much cheese?
Danielle: Yeah, but I have to wait a while before I go to sleep because you know what happens with my dreams if I have too much cheese. We have to wait for it to… wear off.
When Ilana gives Abbi the diamond necklace:
Danielle: Oh no. Abbi’s gonna lose the necklace. Something’s going to happen. WHY WOULD ILANA GIVE THIS TO ABBI?
Lindsay: They know they’re not responsible!
Danielle: She got Ilana nothing!
Lindsay: Oh no. Do you think the season’s going to end with them breaking up?
Danielle: No, no, no, no, noooooo. ABBI!
Lindsay: THINK ABOUT THIS. Their first episode this season was their friendship origin. The end is their friendship demise.
While they are on top of the Empire State building:
Danielle: It costs $1200 to get these cardboard cutouts done.
Lindsay: TWELVE!? HUNDRED!? AND THEY JUST HAVE THEM!?
Danielle: I’ve always wanted to do that?
Lindsay: Look into people’s apartments?
Danielle: NO. Have sex in a high-rise building!
When Abbi and Ilana leave the Empire State Building to fight crime:
Danielle: Where do you think this episode is going to go?
Lindsay: They’re going to end their friendship.
Danielle: I don’t know. Has the show been renewed? Did they see any blood?
Lindsay: They don’t care. There’s real crime in New York to deal with.
Danielle: It’s definitely a blow-up doll instead of a body. Wait, what if the body’s in the bag?
When Abbi and Ilana are following the man:
Danielle: Who do you think the celebrity is going to be in this episode?
Lindsay: I hope it’s Steve Buscemi again.
Danielle: How far are they going to watch him!?
Lindsay: Oh my god! Abbi is painted on Ilana’s coat!
When Abbi and Ilana sneak into the man’s apartment:
Danielle: What are they look for in there?
Lindsay: Look for clues!
Danielle: They committed a crime just now!
Lindsay: The girlfriend is going to come back after a trip and find out that he uses a blow-up doll!
Danielle: This is crazy.
When the guy goes to the movie theater:
Lindsay: Oh my god do you think he just went to the movie theater to get popcorn because it’s so good?
Danielle: She has Abbi on her jacket!
Lindsay: I said that five minutes ago.
When Abbi and Ilana realize he had a sex doll:
Danielle: I was right!
Lindsay: It was a sex doll! And he DOES enjoy the popcorn!
Planning our friendiversary:
Danielle: Do you remember the date we got coffee?
Lindsay: In January?
Danielle: It may have been in March.
Lindsay: I think it’s still in my calendar somewhere.
Danielle: Find it. Find it now!
Images and gifs via Broad City/Comedy Central
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Lindsay and Danielle are Philadelphia-based freelance writers. Midwest native Lindsay's work, which you can learn more about on Twitter, has appeared on Care2, the Huffington Post, and One Green Planet among others. Wannabe Midwest native Danielle's work, which you can learn more about at daniellecorcione.com and on Twitter, has appeared in Teen Vogue, Esquire, and more.