Last week’s episode explored two realities — one true, the other alternate — where Abbi and Ilana still became friends. This week, we’re back to reality.
Abbi accidentally ships a package to her old workplace, Soulstice, and somehow ends up training Shania Twain (for real this time) with not-so-former-lover Trey. Ilana goes through her own work journey by being hired at a high-end, cut-throat sushi restaurant in Manhattan, run by none other than RuPaul.
Here were our reactions.
When they were volunteering at a clinic:
Danielle: Oh my god, they’re blowing weed on the protesters! They really need that.
Lindsay: Christians have so much pent-up anger about PG-13 sex scenes. This will be really good for them.
On Shania Twain:
Danielle: That’s Shania Twain? She’s blonde!
Lindsay: You know if you don’t like your hair color you can make it different.
Danielle: BUT HER IDENTITY IS A BRUNETTE.
*Two minutes later*
Danielle: That’s Shania Twain, right? It’s not an actress portraying Shania Twain, right?
*Shania sings “Man, I feel like a smoothie.”*
Danielle: *snaps fingers* That’s the one.
On RuPaul’s restaurant :
Lindsay: SANDRA BERNHARD’S IN HERE TOO? This episode’s star power is unreal.
Danielle: Is this RuPaul’s restaurant or is it cultural commentary? Is it like this because of RuPaul or is it like, a metaphor? You know the restaurant Dick’s? People go there to get yelled at. Is it like that?
On Shania Twain (again):
Danielle: Why would you make up that very specific lie about training Shania Twain though?
Lindsay: Oh my god, Shania’s trying to get them off during her training session.
Danielle: SHE’S CANADIAN?
Lindsay: No, the actress playing her is.
Danielle: Her skin is so clear!
Lindsay: Why did Abbi leave while Shania was singing? THAT WAS A FREE SHANIA TWAIN CONCERT.
Abbi’s big sex scene:
Danielle: THEY’RE GONNA BAAAAANG.
Lindsay: There it is! Everything you wished for!
Danielle: OH MY GOD? IS THAT WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A BONER? WHAT IS HE DOING? IS THIS A SECRET AMONG MEN?
Lindsay: Wait. Did he have a magnifying glass? Oooooh. It’s a mini fan! Why can’t he just go in the shower instead of using circulated air?
Danielle: Is there something I missed out on in sex ed?
Lindsay: Yeah, I definitely never learned about boner maintenance.
On Shania Twain (we know):
Lindsay: What if "Shania Twain broke my dick" was your party story?
Danielle: One time at a party, my friend told a cute girl his grandpa invented the Glow Stick. I thought he was just trying to impress this girl, but his grandpa really did invent it.
Trying to grasp this episode:
Danielle: She never got her package!
Lindsay: There are so many questions I have about this potato and aluminum foil. For one, what happened to her dinner potato?
Danielle: She ate it.
Lindsay: But wouldn’t she save it for dinner if it was her dinner potato?
Danielle: But she ate it. I don’t know what else to tell you… But is this tin foil some pop culture reference I’m missing out on?
Lindsay: I don’t. I … no.
Danielle: I don’t understand why she put the tin foil in the toilet. Can we agree that we didn’t understand this episode?
On Shania Twain (this is the last time, we promise):
Danielle: I still don’t think that’s her.
Images via Broad City/Comedy Central
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Lindsay and Danielle are Philadelphia-based freelance writers. Midwest native Lindsay's work, which you can learn more about on Twitter, has appeared on Care2, the Huffington Post, and One Green Planet among others. Wannabe Midwest native Danielle's work, which you can learn more about at daniellecorcione.com and on Twitter, has appeared in Teen Vogue, Esquire, and more.