If you can’t find the appeal in watching men in tight pants chase each other for five hours straight while playing a game with rules you don’t understand, fret not! Those in charge of television programming know that not everyone loves football, so they’re hooking you up with a Sunday of binge watching: we’re talking marathons of mind-numbing reality shows, movie after movie on Comedy Central and nearly 24 hours of The Walking Dead. TV Guide is brimming with possibilities of how to spend your Anti-Super Bowl Sunday; to make it a little easier for you, I’ve compiled a few suggestions, but trust me--the list doesn’t stop here.
1) The Walking Dead (AMC, 8a.m-4a.m): Head to AMC if you want to watch almost a full day’s worth of The Walking Dead; from 8 a.m. to 4 a.m., you can re-immerse yourself in the post-apocalyptic world of season one and two. If you’ve never seen the show before and have often wondered what all the buzz is about, this could be a perfect excuse to find out.
2) We’re the Millers (Comedy Central, 1:55-4:40 p.m.): I may be weirdly partial to anything starring Jennifer Aniston, but this movie has never failed to make me laugh. Starring Jason Sudeikis, Emma Roberts and, of course, Aniston, We’re The Millers is about four societal outcasts that band together to create a fake family vacation in order to cover up a colossal drug deal. To join in on the Miller family fun and spend a chunk of your afternoon firmly planted on the couch, channel surf your way over to Comedy Central.
3) The Puppy Bowl XIII (Animal Planet, 3-5 p.m.): Dubbed the “alternative Super Bowl” by Animal Planet themselves (will that word ever stop making us roll our eyes or is it now ruined forever?), The Puppy Bowl is an annual televised adoption fair showcasing more than 75 adorable puppies in need of a home. Puppies from Team Ruff and Team Fluff (my heart is melting) will be cheered on by guinea pig cheerleaders, and the highly anticipated halftime show will be performed by kittens. All in all, Puppy Bowl > Super Bowl. Bonus puppies: Puppy Bowl: Where Are They Now (1 p.m.) for updates on participants from previous Puppy Bowls; Puppy Bowl XIII Pregame (2 p.m.), where this year’s teams and strategies will be analyzed; and Puppy Bowl XIII replayed in its entirety an additional four times in case you missed it the first time (6 p.m., 8 p.m., 10 p.m., 12 a.m.).
4) The Parent Trap (E!, 12-3 p.m.): Ahhh, The Parent Trap! The movie of my youth! The reason I wanted a twin sister, a summer at sleepaway camp and peanut butter for my Oreos! For some reason, E! is playing this Lindsay Lohan classic twice, but I’d rather watch Dennis Quaid and a little Lohan ride horses up Napa Valley for six hours rather than tune in to the Super Bowl.
5) Parks & Recreation (EsqTV, 7a.m.- 4a.m.): If you needed an excuse to watch an obnoxious amount of television with minimal breaks, look no further. With tiny half-hour episodes, Parks & Rec seems like it was created for binge-watchers everywhere. Spend your Sunday in Pawnee, Ind. with Leslie Knope and the parks department.
6) The Fault in Our Stars (FXX, 5-8pm): Grab your tissues before watching the adaption of John Green’s book about two star-crossed teens with cancer who fall in love. Yes, it’s sad, but there’s normally a few tear-jerking Super Bowl commercials, so think of this as a better, more worthy reason to cry.
7) Harry Potter (Freeform, 7a.m.-12a.m.): There ain’t no weekend like a Harry Potter weekend! Once again, the network formally known as ABC Family graces us with a full day of our favorite boy wizard. Starting with Prisoner of Azkaban (and excluding Order of the Phoenix--thanks, HBO), the whole series will play back to back, with commercials long enough to grab the snacks you could be eating during the Super Bowl but are actually eating during your magical marathon.
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