Today is a day to celebrate love. It's the perfect day to cuddle up with your betrothed or your cat or a box of chocolates and a box of tissues and take in a romantic movie. And when I think of "great romance films of our time," the first one that comes to mind is obviously The Room.
The so-bad-it's-great cult classic stars the incomparable Tommy Wiseau, whose charms even we at BUST are not immune to, as Johnny, a modern-day lover facing betrayal of Shakespearean proportions. Before The Room reaches its tragic conclusion, though, it offers up some truly wonderful lines that have secured their place in the lexicon of love, and up until the part where Johnny gets "fed up with this world!" it's practically a how-to guide to seduction. For example, buy your princess flowers:
Anticipate your lover's needs and desires:
And always let your main squeeze know how you feel about him or her, even if you're tired or wasted:
If that doesn't work, just send your intended one of these Tommy Wiseau Valentines, via His Name Is Dave, You Fool:
I mean, if a blood-soaked man with a shaky understanding of vowels doesn't convey longing, I don't know what does. Happy Valentine's Day!
Tommy Wiseau Valentines [His Name Is Dave, You Fool]