I've been wearing the same damn swimsuit since 2005, and my too-small bikini bottom is causing me more anxiety than if I were to swim with the sharks or go on the Jersey Shore boardwalk. Still, swimsuit shopping isn't my forte; I hate the paper crotch strips and I'm just too lazy. But these monster swimsuits from Iron Fist may finally convince me to ditch my dingy bikini. These freaky tops and bottoms are sure to get you attention - just be prepared to say, "Ahem, my eyes are up HERE...oh, wait."

Thanks to these swimsuits, I've made my selection for Friday Movie Night...


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The 14th Annual New York Burlesque Festival
Sat Oct 01 @ 8:00PM - 12:00AM
The 14th Annual New York Burlesque Festival
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