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Q: My boyfriend has been experimenting with orgasm denial and chastity devices by himself, and now we’ve incorporated this into our sex play. I’m psyched to see him get off, and I have fun, too, but I’m worried about the safety of these toys. I have mixed feelings because I think he may have developed this fetish as a way to cope with the times I’m not as into sex as he is. He’s also interested in orgasm denial as a spiritual practice, so it’s...
As someone living with genital herpes for almost two years, I was always a little put off by dating sites specifically for people with STIs. From PositiveSingles to MPWH (Meet People With Herpes), I never understood why living with a benign virus which affects a majority of people should force us to annex ourselves from the general dating population. It was as though I had to quarantine myself because of a Tinder date gone wrong. It didn’t seem fair. After my diagnosis, I never made...
When 30-year-old sex educator Ashley Manta got a medical marijuana prescription for her chronic migraines three years ago, she visited a dispensary for the first time. This experience would be life changing, introducing her to the range of options available, and leading Manta to coin the term “cannasexual” to describe her experiences mindfully pairing sex and cannabis. But cannasexuality isn’t just buying weed from a dealer and having sex while high; it is a deliberate practice. “I found Foria, the THC-infused sex spray, in 2014,” Manta...
Q: Is there a masturbation guide for AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth) folks that isn’t full of suggestions like, “Try rubbing your clit in the opposite direction you normally do,” or “Spice things up by humping your pillow”? I’m a high-stimulation babe, so I’m looking for techniques that involve toys—maybe even a couple at once—and things going in my butthole. Is there anything out there for me? –Jilling Off Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen: There are two main things to consider when looking for new masturbation techniques: Does...

I’ll never forget the Other Girl. She had dark, tangled hair that was usually thrown in a bouncy ponytail on top of her head. She was slender, of course, with long limbs and an angular face. She would bite her nails just like I did. We were friends, and then we were enemies. Okay — the term “enemies” is sensationalized and dark and cliché, but it feels most fitting. She was, at one point, someone I liked. She was someone I had envied. She was someone...

In the summer of 2015, I was diagnosed with genital herpes. Since then, I’ve become hyper-aware of how STD/STI stigma creeps up on us. One quick note, STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) and STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) are often used interchangeably, but in the last few years, doctors and OBGYNs have started to use "STI" more frequently, as they believe it carries less of a stigma than STD. Before my diagnosis, like most people, STD/STI stigma wasn’t something I thought about. But being diagnosed at age 21 with...

Every chef has a dish they prepare when they want someone. Simple fresh pasta, a top grade steak, perfectly melted grilled cheese: each plate reveals the kind of comfort they seek.I was served a burger — a rare, juicy burger. So I should have seen the heartburn coming.I didn’t understand all the fuss about burgers until I met this Chef. Once a picky eater, I harbored a dark childhood secret of ordering plain “bun-cheese-buns” at fast food restaurants. My former taste buds would have never...
  AriesMar. 21 to Apr. 19Venus goes direct on April 15 (the opposite of retrograde), while Mercury is in retrograde, meaning you could find yourself seeking solace in the arms of an old lover. Soon enough, you’ll flash those Aries horns and let your suitor know just who’s in charge. After May 10, Venus will make it rain with maximum pleasure at work and at play with your partners. TaurusApr. 20 to May 20It’s all about quality over quantity these days, so don’t let that swiping finger...

Q: My cis-dude enjoys ass play, and I enjoy playing with his ass. However, I also enjoy having long fingernails. What’s the best way to make prostate play safe and painless for him without forgoing my manicure? And how can I make it work while still staying in the moment? –Fingernail Femme Sexologist Carol Queen: Ahh, I dream that in the future, all the cis-dudes will have made friends with their asses, and we will have world peace. Thank you for getting us started on this important...
  Q: I am a versatile lesbian; I need to experience topping and bottoming to feel satisfied in my sex life. My girlfriend is a diehard top. I love her so much, but bottoming all the time is making me feel stuck and frustrated. How can I overcome my girlfriend’s stubborn stance, or at least feel more empowered in the bedroom? –Bottom Blanche Carol Queen: You and your girlfriend aren’t 100 percent compatible sexually, as you surely already realize, although you haven’t said whether you and she...
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