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If You Can Only Orgasm With A Full Bladder, You're Not Alone

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We're bringing you this Q&A from BUST's Sex section, featuring advice from sexlogist Dr. Carol Queen.

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have trouble reaching orgasm unless my bladder is full. There are nerves that just don’t get stimulated any other way. G-spot stimulation helps me get there, but feels like nothing without that added pressure. I’m in my 40s and have been too embarrassed to ask anyone this question ever, even though I’m super comfortable talking about sex and masturbation in general. (I even took Betty Dodson’s Bodysex seminar and didn’t ask.) How can I get the same physiological response without having to calculate how much I’m drinking and when? Miscalculations mean I can’t get off because my bladder is either empty or so full it’s uncomfortable. I’m not sure it’s relevant but I’ve never ejaculated. —Full Tank

Sexologist Carol Queen:  I’m not sure ejaculation is relevant here either, but what I do know is that a full (but not too full) bladder gives you nerve pressure you don’t get any other way, just as you state, and you have eroticized these feelings where many other women don’t. You’re not the only one, though; this isn’t super uncommon. My experience with people who like bladder pressure is that they sometimes find they can add downward pressure on their lower belly, just above the pubic bone, and that basically pushes the bladder down into the nerves that are situated between it and the phallus. Adding G-spot or prostate stimulation may help. (Yes, people of all genders might experience this preference, which is why I included the prostate, and also why I used the all-purpose “phallus” instead of “clitoris.”)

Adding the above pressure plus the below pressure from the G-spot may maximize your chance of getting the right nerves pleasurably firing. Especially because you’ve not ejaculated, I think your G-spot pleasure involves those bladder nerves and pressure on ‘em just about as much as it does the organ itself. There’s not a whole lot of real estate in there; while nerve response can be awfully specific, pressure anywhere near the bladder will likely stimulate those nerves at least a little.

I’d also consider you a candidate for the sex therapy trick in which you do the thing that works while simultaneously adding another erotic experience. People get weaned away from one thing, to a certain extent, and turned on to another because you don’t simply ignore the thing that works, but add its stimulation into seeking other pleasure points. Clitoris and vagina are common ways for this to work—two great feels that feel great together—but anal might be a sweet addition as well. When you masturbate, just try to stay aware of what gets you close to orgasm. If you can’t pay close enough attention, something must be working. Also, pay attention to how aroused you are, since higher arousal will give all your pelvic and genital neurology the best chance to help you feel great.

 

Carol Queen's latest book (written with Shar Rednour) is The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone.

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This article originally appeared in the October/November 2017 print edition of BUST Magazine. Subscribe today!

 

 

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