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Ass Play 101: A How-To Guide

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Q: My cis-dude enjoys ass play, and I enjoy playing with his ass. However, I also enjoy having long fingernails. What’s the best way to make prostate play safe and painless for him without forgoing my manicure? And how can I make it work while still staying in the moment? –Fingernail Femme

Sexologist Carol Queen: Ahh, I dream that in the future, all the cis-dudes will have made friends with their asses, and we will have world peace. Thank you for getting us started on this important project! We definitely don’t want to lose ground to talon-based injuries, so here are some options.

First, make sure your manicure is filed smooth. Whatever the shape of your nails, you don’t want hangnails, chips, or rough edges. These make abrasions more likely even if you’re only playing with the sensitive external opening of his ass. Pick a lovely color of latex or nitrile gloves, and lube up.

There are two main dangers of long nails, particularly with ass play (though bisexual and lesbian femmes reading this will want to take heed, too, because vaginal insertion with long nails is also a skill). The first is breaking a nail while your fingers are in his butt. This adds roughness and/or sharpness to an area where those things are risky. In particular, a broken nail can become a sort of hook. Watch out for nails sharp and pointy enough to break through a glove. If that happens, they can scratch, abrade, or even (worst case scenario, and it’s a bad one) break through the rectal mucosa. That last one is a medical emergency, full stop. The walls of the rectum are thinner than the vaginal walls—you must protect their integrity when you do ass play.

Don’t do ass play when you’ve been partying; to do this, you really have to be in control of your reflexes. If he likes it vigorous, shop for a dildo together, and use that as an extension of your pretty hands. (Make sure it has a base; don’t just raid the vegetable bin or grab an old smoothie vibrator.) Or you can try this trick from the pro dommes: pad your nails with cotton balls, and tape them on with bandage tape, making sure the profile is smooth and that you can’t feel your claw tips through the padding before putting on gloves. The downside of this technique is that your fingertip touch acuity isn’t as good, but it might be worth trading that for the kind of anal intimacy you both enjoy. Just stay conscious and careful when you’re back in his precious, open-minded dude butt.

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