In the interest of not burying the lede, let me just get it out there now: Willam threw up on the runway last night. Yep, a drag queen threw up on the runway, during the judging, immediately after she had been declared the winner of this week’s challenge. It was one of the weirdest things to ever happen on RuPaul’s Drag Race, until five minutes later when Ru announced who had to sashay away. Nothing else in the episode even seems relevant in light of the giant mysterious bombshell that dropped on everybody’s bewigged heads, but let’s give this recap a shot anyway.
For the mini challenge, Ru gave all the queens polygraph tests, then paired them up for the main challenge by teaming them with the contestant who was most unlike them. I think someone on the production team confused polygraphs with the Myers-Briggs test, but whatever. Minor details. To the surprise of no one, the pairs were as follows: Latrice and Willam, Chad and Dida, and Phi Phi and Sharon. Each team had to put on a nightclub act, with the twist that the losing pair would lip-sync against each other. Blah blah blah, everybody was great, Pamela Anderson and Jennifer Tilly showed up, and feathered umbrellas were employed. Willam and Latrice won for their slapstick routine, and Latrice got extra points for letting Willam push her out of her comfort zone. AND THEN. Then Willam leaned over the side of the stage and vomited, stood back up, and went on like nothing had happened. Ru asked if she was okay to continue, and she said yes. Excuse me? You just vomited in front of America on a television show that is not Jersey Shore. You are most definitely not okay.
Anyway, everything proceeded as usual post-Willam meltdown. Phi Phi and Sharon lip-synced for their lives to "It’s Raining Men." It was one of the greatest lip syncs in recent memory: both queens giving it their all, wigs falling off, making it generally impossible to decide who was better. How could Ru ever choose between these two? Answer: she didn’t. Just as you were biting your nails, hoping against hope that Sharon didn’t get sent home, Ru called Willam to the front of the stage, saying that it had come to her attention that Willam had been breaking the rules and would have to leave immediately. There was no explanation whatsoever—just a shot of Willam pressing his well-sculpted buttocks against the dressing room mirror and signing off.
After searching through tons of blog posts and news stories, it seems that no one on the entire Internet knows what exactly Willam did. There is, of course, wild speculation—diet pills, drug abuse, secret blogging, and an eating disorder, to name a few—but we are no closer to uncovering this mystery than we are to finding out what the hell will happen on Mad Men this season. Willam is keeping mum on the subject, playing coy and hinting that we might find out on the reunion show. We better! And just like that, my flagging interest in this show was renewed, and my daily Googling of "Willam Belli" continues unabated. Well played, RuPaul, well played.
Willam has a new music video out about Chick-fil-A, which I will post here for your viewing pleasure.