Last week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the field was narrowed to the final four at last—except, not. After commanding Dida Ritz to sashay away, Ru announced that Michelle Visage and Santino would be choosing an eliminated queen to return this week. Oh, goody. Sadly, it was not Willam (who was weirdly named as eligible even though she broke the rules), but little Kenya Michaels upon whom this honor was bestowed. Eh, it could have been worse. The original top four—Phi Phi, Sharon, Chad, and Latrice—fashioned t-shirts to protest this turn of events, but Ru wasn’t having it: "Nice try, Norma Rae."
For the mini challenge, the queens had to dress a teddy bear in drag, and of course, the recently returned Kenya won with her pasty-wearing La Transbear. As a prize, Kenya was allowed to assign each contestant a partner for the main challenge: DILFs, or Dads I’d Like to Frock. The final five each paired up with straight dads who would be transformed into pregnant drag queens, to show off their "baby bump realness." But before parading down the runway in matching costumes (Ru wanted to be able to see the "family resemblance"), each pair had to perform a striptease to get the judges in the mood. Sometimes I just can’t with this show.
Basically, everything about this challenge was totally weird. Naturally, all of the straight men were really excited to find out that Jennifer Love Hewitt would be a judge. Sharon Needles’ partner Mike was so odd that somebody made a Silence of the Lambs reference to describe him. Sharon herself quipped, "It’s like dancing with Leslie Nielsen in Airplane." There were a lot of awkward conversations between queens and DILFs that were clearly scripted by Logo staffers—"Yes, let’s talk about gay marriage! Ask if they’d support their children if they were gay!" It might have been heartwarming if it didn’t seem so totally forced, or Chad and Phi Phi hadn’t cried on command during these little chats.
At the runway show, Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson added some much-needed levity to the proceedings, calling Kenya Michaels "Little Eva Longoria" and saying, "Apparently Marilyn Manson does have a uterus" as Sharon Needles came down the catwalk. Phi Phi—ugh, Phi Phi—won the challenge, receiving a trip for two to Las Vegas. Phi Phi’s partner won a trip, too, and was really excited about it, chanting, "Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!" backstage. Kenya and Latrice were up for elimination, and despite Kenya crossing herself in an appeal to a higher power, Latrice won, because duh, they had to lip sync to Aretha Franklin’s "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman," and Latrice was clearly born to imitate Aretha Franklin. Poor Kenya was sent home as soon as she returned, which made this whole exercise feel a little bit pointless. Now that we’re really down to the wire, it’s time to guess—who will be America’s Next Drag Superstar? I hate to do this to my girl Latrice Royale, but I’m putting my money on Sharon Needles. That girl’s got chutzpah—and a Tammy Faye Bakker tattoo to boot.
Catch RuPaul's Drag Race Mondays at 9/8c on LogoTV