Jun 7 2011, 02:34 PM
Zelda, I cannot believe it's already been a year... happy birthday to the little guy!!
I had my 8 week appt. today and all is well. Baby has 2 arms, 2 legs, measuring 18mm and a healthy heartbeat of 174.
On a side note our cat had a litter of 4 kittens on Saturday. It's been a strange journey finding out I was pregnant not long after realizing my cat was pregnant! Now I get to see her completely change into this motherly creature and see all these adorable little baby kitties doing cute little baby kitty things. It's been a good distraction for me during this impatient time.
Jun 8 2011, 10:11 PM
Cristine, congrats on hearing the heartbeat! How wonderful - so happy for you. I hear you on the "impatient time." Believe me, once you get later in the pregnancy time will speed up a bit. Sadly, it tends to slow down again at the very end - you kind of go between being freaked out that you won't have enough time to get everything ready and thinking, "Hey, baby, you ever gonna come out of there?"
Aphelendra, congrats on the wedding and everything else!
And just to show you how the spectrum can vary....I didn't get my period back until Henry was about 15 months old. I'm sure the nursing had a lot to do with it, but Henry's been on at least some solids since he was 6 months old and we did start whole milk after he was a year old as well. I have to say, it was kind of a treat having almost two years' vacation (not counting the lochia) from mr. period.
Several people I know - including my neighbors who were both pregnant when I was pregnant with Henry - are pregnant again already. I think I want to wait until Henry's closer to 2 to start trying for the next one, but I've definitely started dreaming about having another one.
zelda, time flies! Happy birthday Elliott!
Jun 9 2011, 05:45 PM
I look forward to time slowing down! I'm nearly 36 weeks and have so much to do and am so not ready for the baby to arrive so I welcome a slow down.
We are closing on our house next week and then moving next weekend and that will help me feel much more ready. Right now all the baby stuff is in storage so I can't wait to unpack and feel like we have room and supplies for a baby.
Happy Birthday, Elliott! That reminds me that a year ago we started TTC (I remember it was right around the time Zelda gave birth). Look where we are now, one year later!
Zelda, is Zelda your real name? Regardless, what do you think of it as a name for a baby? It's one of my partner's favorites and I'm not sure what I think. I do have a strong affinity for Zelda Fitzgerald (I wrote papers on her in college) but feel like the name has completely been taken over by the video game...
Jun 17 2011, 10:54 PM
Zelda is not my real name, but I LOVE it. If we had had a girl, I might have used it!
It's my "name" on almost all the boards I visit, but I must admit most people think it's after the video game. For me, it's after Zelda Fitzgerald. I read a biography about her and was fascinated. Plus, I just love the name.
I do think most people OUR age would think of the video game at first, but I don't most people HER age would know about it (I don't think). I love the name! I think it's unusual without being too "weird" or whatever.
Whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll pick a great name!
Jun 22 2011, 11:55 AM
Hi ladies, hope everyone is well!
We had our 10 week ultrasound yesterday and it was more entertaining than I could have imagined! The baby was so active, wiggling all around, waving arms, bending legs... definitely images I cannot get out of my head!
A few funny things about the visit... my doctor had a student with him. So once he got a clear view that all was well, he handed over the wand to her. She was so afraid of hurting me that I felt like saying, I can't even feel you! When it came time to take a picture, she couldn't find the baby and, when she did, it was nowhere near the perfectly clear shot my doctor had of the baby earlier. And I completely forgot to ask about the baby's heart rate because I was so distracted by the student. But even though I didn't get the greatest picture, the images are vivid in my memory! On a side note, the lady in the next room had a cart outside of her door with a speculum on it... I'm certainly relieved the student came in at this point in my progress instead of during the IUI!
Jun 23 2011, 01:39 PM
I have been on the receiving end of a speculum wielding med student on not one, but two separate occasions. The last one was so bad, that parts of my external anatomy became internal. I will not say more on this subject.
Thanks for the congrats all, and may I return them manyfold, for bouncing babies on ultrasounds, babies about to be born, babies turning one, and babies sleeping EIGHT HOURS straight. Un-fracking-believable I'm so gddmned jealous.
It's been crazy around here, but I'm trying to keep up! Miss you all!
Jun 25 2011, 08:06 PM
The baby was born Monday (much to our surprise since I was only 37 weeks and we had just moved into our new house two days before)! She's doing well, I'm doing well, and Daddy is doing well. She has jaundice and has to be in a light therapy bed at home for the next couple days (hopefully will be done Monday) but we're all doing well.
More later. Hope you all are well.
Oh and we did not use the name Zelda.
Jun 26 2011, 09:07 AM
Congratamulations baby Catsoup!
Can't wait to hear more!
Jun 28 2011, 09:19 PM
Hooray, baby Catsoup! And congrats Catsoup and Mr. C! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy....will love to hear all about it when you catch your breath.
And yes, they come when they wanna come, eh?
(love and hugs to mama Catsoup!)
Jun 30 2011, 04:19 PM
Glad everyone's doing well and baby waited until after you had moved!!!
Giant hugs to you. So happy.
Jun 30 2011, 05:00 PM
Congrats, catsoup! SO happy for you all! Wow, an early surprise. Better than going overdue, I think. :-)
The name Zelda is up for grabs, y'all! ;-)
Jul 1 2011, 10:59 AM
Yay!!! Congratulations, Catsoup! And yes, fortunately she waited until the move was over and not just days before! Enjoy your little bundle and take care of yourself too! (I know, easier said than done....) :-)
Cristine, so happy to hear your 10-week ultrasound was great! I couldn't believe how clearly the baby could be seen at that point. Truly amazing. You must be just about 12 weeks now! How are you feeling?
Jul 1 2011, 11:02 AM
Speaking of names, I giggled when Catsoup mentioned using the name Zelda because I remembered that you had considered using it, Zelda. Mr M and I actually were considering using Elliott for a boy. It's a fantastic name too!
Jul 1 2011, 12:46 PM
Hi, everyone, and congrats to all the new moms and moms-to-be! I really need to come around these parts more. I had no idea Catsoup was even pregnant!
As it turns out, I'm 11 weeks along with mine, and they're going to be identical twins. The Giant pretty much nailed it on the first shot after we got married in April, and then my egg had to go and divide itself, so now we're having 2. I wasn't on any fertility meds, either, but apparently twins ran on my mom's side of the family many generations back (all dead and gone before I was born). Sure, we're happy and everything, and in a good position to have kids, but I'm still trying to get over the shock of having twins. That's not something you plan for. We would've liked to have the choice to have more than one, ideally we'd have one of each if we had 2, but I guess this means that, as long as 2 healthy babies come out of me, I never have to be pregnant again. 2 kids is our absolute limit. So if it's true that twins deliver 3-4 weeks earlier than single pregnancies, I'm going to be due mid-late December. I just hope it's not on the 24th or 25th. I was born on a holiday and it sucks. I don't want to do that to my kids, who'll already have to share a birthday with each other.
I'm having a ton of ultrasounds done, since I'm in a higher risk category because of the twins, my age, and the twins sharing a placenta. Not to mention that I'm not exactly in the best of physical shape to begin with.
I'm really glad I stumbled on this thread. I'm hoping you guys can be real with me and not all "hooray, more babies for everyone!" The fact is that I'm scared to death. I've never changed a diaper or prepared a bottle, or anything besides occasionally feed my neices or nephew - and neither has the Giant. And what if they've got developmental issues? I'm in awe of any parent who has the strength and patience to raise a child with any developmental issues, but I don't know that I have the patience for it myself, especially with two of them. The only response I've gotten to any of my concerns is "oh, you'll know exactly what to do when they're born." Like I'm going to somehow magically have any kid of maternal skills. I don't know, it just kind of gets me how everyone is SO EXCITED about it, but they're not any of the people who will have to do any of the work once they're here. My parents are over the moon about it, which I'm actually okay with because they've committed to babysitting at least 2-3 times a week. It's just everyone else who seem to think I'm more excited than I am forcing me to be all squeally about it are really getting on my nerves. Yes, the Giant and I are excited, but we're also scared, overwhelmed, and a plethora of other emotions. Our life is going to change forever in 6 months, and it's really hard to get used to the fact that I won't be able to come and go as I please and spend money on the stupid shit that I've gotten used to, and other people depending on me and my lack of ability.
Thanks for letting me vent. I haven't been around Bust much lately, but I've always really liked everyone's badass realness. YOU are the kind of moms I want to associate with.
Jul 1 2011, 01:17 PM
QUOTE(Cristine @ May 10 2011, 08:09 AM)
Please tell me that no positive is ever too light! I got a positive today at 15 dpiui and I'm trying not to get too excited since it is way early! Of course, the one time I buy cheap generic tests is the time I get a positive... and I really hope it's reliable! I'll keep you posted.
my advice is to wait few more days... then you will be sure.
Jul 1 2011, 03:06 PM
Diva! Hello! Congrats on the wedding! I knew you were getting married this spring and hope everything went well! And congratulations on the pregnancy. I completely understand what you're feeling about the twins. Yes, it's exciting but holy shit, talk about overwhelming! At our first ultrasound, one of the first things I said (maybe even the first) was "there's only one in there, right?" because the idea of twins scared the beejeebus out of me. I will say you have plenty of time to get adjusted to the idea and plenty of time to learn about babies. I have no personal experience with multiples but I've heard that finding a multiples support group can be very helpful.
Since you're in the same place as me, I'm happy to make some local resource recommendations.
We took three classes at Amma Maternity in Edina and found them to be very helpful. My partner had never held a newborn (and barely held a baby of any age) and he's now changing more diapers than me and is a terrific parent already. There's a consignment sale thing called Just Between Friends that we went to (they happen in different 'burbs every months) and we got a ton of stuff (clothes, toys, gear) for fairly cheap. I found Bellies to Babies consignment in Richfield to be okay for maternity clothes shopping, as is the one in Hopkins (can't think of the name). I also found a lot of my maternity clothes at Kohl's (and I'm not a Kohl's fan usually). Please let me know if there's anything else locally you are looking for. I'm happy to share my experience.
We are doing pretty well and adjusting to live with Baby G. I'm exhausted a lot of the time (of course) and still fairly emotional, although both have toned down some in the last couple days, thank goodness. She likes to cluster feed, especially between 1am-4am and that has made for a few mommy meltdowns. Last night she did not cluster feed and that was wonderful. We're having her sleep in our room and we're both having a tough time sleeping through all her noises. Who knew newborn sleep was so damn noisy?
Jul 2 2011, 03:42 PM
Yay Catsoup, congratulations!!!!!
Michelina, I'm 12 weeks and I'm going in on Wednesday for my final ultrasound with the fertility doctor... then I'm switching to a regular OBGYN going forward. I will be taking a video home with me this time!
Same old symptoms, I can't wait to see if the 2nd tri will treat me better.
Most everyone in our families know now, and our friends are finding out one by one... no big Facebook announcements. Everyone is thrilled, which feels kinda weird cuz I don't even feel pregnant! I've been spending a lot of time with the kittens (they're 4 weeks now) and making sure that the runt in the litter is getting enough nourishment... poor guy hates a bottle.
I hope everyone else is well!!
Jul 8 2011, 05:16 AM
It's been a long time since I visited this board since I decided to not focus as much attention on gettin preggers....
and now I'm back and 5 weeks along!! Just found out yesterday, had first round of blood tests this morning....amazed at how different I feel already! Keep pinching myself cause it's so unreal.
Have been bursting to tell someone so you ladies will tide me over for the time being!
Jul 8 2011, 11:01 PM
Wow, so much good news on here!
Catsoup, I feel for you on the cluster feedings! Hang in there, it will get easier and/or you'll learn to cope on less sleep. Oh, and newborns are SUPER noisy. What's weird is when they get older and a little quieter and you find yourself putting your hand on them to make sure they're still breathing. (For me, not tonight - Henry has a cold so he keeps waking himself up sniffling, poor little dude.)
Cristine, sounds like things are humming along....thinking good thoughts for you and baby! And yeah, the early weeks I remember feeling like I didn't really even feel pregnant. Don't worry, there's plenty of time to feel pregnant.
Laurenzorro, congrats, how exciting! Thinking good thoughts for you and baby too!
Divala, congrats on the twins! That is so wonderful. One of my good friends from college had identical twin girls, similar deal to yours. She did end up delivering several weeks early, but the girls are three now and developmentally right on target. One thing she did find annoying (understandably): when people learned she was carrying twins she had a number of nosy people who either assumed that she had taken fertility drugs or wanted to know "so are they natural, or what?" People say the rudest things to pregnant women!
It sounds like Catsoup has the 411 on a lot of great local resources. Another reason to check out the moms of multiples groups is that a lot of those clubs have their own consignment sales (with two of everything!) and/or equipment or clothing swaps.
Don't worry too much about not knowing what you're doing - get as educated as you can before the kiddos arrive, but as I told a friend of mine recently, the thing they never tell you is that until the baby arrives, nobody really knows anything about being a mom or dad. The people who think they know - they don't. There's a lot of improv involved and a lot of figuring out what works for you. That said, other people (relatives or friends) who have kids and whose parenting styles seem in tune with what you want for your own are great resources.
One thing I've learned is that it's OK to be dumb. I felt like such an idiot in a lot of those early days - all the books say things like, "you know your baby best, you are the expert on your baby" and I was like, "I don't know JACK! I am a complete dumbass! I can't read my baby's signals at all!" With support, you figure it out.
Jul 12 2011, 03:23 PM
Thanks Julie! Congratulations Lauren!!
I am 13 weeks along, I had my last exam a week ago and could clearly see the baby's fingers! This time the doctor gave me a DVD, which I've surprisingly only watched a few times. Still have all my 1st tri symptoms.
That's it for now...
Take care ladies.
Jul 16 2011, 04:48 PM
Congrats, Laurenzorro! I'm so happy for you! You must be due around the same time of year I was due. What is your due date?
And yay for being in the second tri, Cristine! Doesn't it feel great to reach that milestone? Just wait until you start feeling kicks!
And congrats also to you, Divala. It is completely understandable how you are feeling about your pregnancy. I was initially pregnant with twins (IVF pregnancy so we knew it was highly possible), and I have to admit that I felt some relief when I found out that only one baby had made it past 8 weeks. I know that it sounds awful, which is why I wouldn't admit that to just anyone. Yes, I felt a loss, and I sometimes still feel sad about the baby we lost, but an even larger part of me was okay with it, even glad that it turned out that way. Having twins is scary - both in pregnancy, and then after the birth. There are definite advantages too, but the constant cheerleading about how wonderful it will be, must get tiring, because it will not feel "wonderful" at all times. Many people don't even realize that there are higher risks in pregnancy for someone carrying twins. I am glad you found this thread and you can share your feelings in a place where you won't be judged.
Makenna is 4 months old tomorrow and is doing very well. She doesn't sleep through the night anymore, but we have been co-sleeping lately, which has made life and sleep much easier. I love waking up to her smiles and coos.
Aug 1 2011, 05:58 PM
Hello ladies!!! i do not usually post here and hope not to have a reason to in the near future. i am only 18 and about to start my freshman year of college, ha ha. I can't imagine doing college and trying to raise a kid at the same time, so major props to those of you who have. Anyways, funny story to share! i had a dream last night that i was pregnant. And it felt sooooo real like i could just literally feel this living thing in my tummy. It was so wild. Then I woke up... and found my cat sleeping on my stomach. How funny is that? lol!
Aug 3 2011, 02:36 PM
Hello to all of the nursing mommies, a friend of mine just scared me and said she had to supplement breastmilk with formula until her baby was 4 weeks because she didn't fully start flowing until then. I only get 6 weeks of maternity leave so I was planning on being a milking machine during that whole time! What are everyone else's experiences in that department? I gotta start asking around.
Hope everyone is well!
Aug 4 2011, 09:35 PM
Cristine, I think the best think you could do for now is try not to worry. Easier said than done, but right now you should focus on getting a reasonable amount of info to prepare.
For example, sign up for a BFing class or a session with a lactation consultant. I did that, and I learned about the different holds. It was very helpful when the time came (although nothing can compare with the real deal of actually nursing!)
I had an overabundance of milk for which I am grateful, but I have known women who struggled with supply issues even when everything should have worked out perfectly.
If this happens to you and you have to supplement with formula or even (worst case scenario) you end up bottle-feeding....IT WILL BE OKAY!!!!!
Listen, BFing is a wonderful thing, and I'm glad I was able to BF Elliott for almost a year (although I started supplementing with formula at 3 months when I went back to work). But you know what? There is a lot of HEAVY duty pressure on new moms these days to BF at all costs. Frankly, I think the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction, and I have been shocked at (speaking candidly) some of the almost women-hating attitudes I have found among some serious lactivists. (Not ALL lactivists...but some.)
I had a friend with high blood pressure who had to be on meds that prevented her from BFing...so she exclusively formula fed. And you know what? The sky didn't fall on her or her baby.
Do what's best for you, your baby, and your family. But remember that no matter what, your dear baby is going to get fed....maybe exclusively breast milk, maybe breast milk and some formula, whatever...but it will be OKAY.
Aug 5 2011, 09:50 AM
Thanks Zelda, you're absolutely right, I could definitely benefit from some breastfeeding classes/ consultations. I'm notorious for worrying way too far in advance about the what-if's! And neither me or my husband were breastfed, yet we're alive and healthy!
Aug 5 2011, 04:59 PM
Christine, first ... my god ... such short mat-leave
Do a google search for an article about breastfeeding in The Atlantic a few years ago. The author takes a very close look at research that was published in the 1970s and has since been disproved but remains the focus of many breast feeding advocates. The author, in the end, breast feeds anyway, this is by no means an anti-breastfeeding piece, but it did alleviate some of the sadness I felt about babyFookie and his breast-milk free life. If I could have breast fed, I would have. No question. However, the pressure on women to breastfeed has, I agree with Zelda, gotten a bit nutty. Happy mom = happy baby. The End.
BabyF is happy, healthy, smart as hell, and is coming up to 18 months with only one ear infection (and I suspect that has more to do with the amount of time he spends with his head under water at pools and lakes etc. than a lack of breast milk).
Don't worry about this. Do what works for your family.
Aug 6 2011, 05:02 PM
Terrific article, Fookie!http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archiv...t-feeding/7311/
I know, isn't our mat-leave CRIMINAL!?!? Ugh. America, I love you and hate you at the same time!!
Cristine, do you not work for a company with at least 50 employees? If so you do qualify for 12 weeks under FMLA. Of course it is unpaid...sigh.
If you have such a short mat-leave, I suggest spending as much of it just being with baby...not attached to a pump. I know that so many BF sites will suggest pumping during leave to build up a supply, but I never did that, and I'm so glad I spent my precious 3 months of leave with E holding him, not attached to a machine.
Again, YOUR call (that's the whole point here), but don't feel bad if you choose to BF during leave and then try to supplement with formula.
I was very lucky. At 3 months I would BF in the morning, go to work, come home, pump, feed E and I kept up my supply even though I didn't pump during the day. My boobs did hurt during the day, but I adjusted.
What I pumped when I got home got fed to E the next day along with formula.
At 6 months I stopped pumping and just nursed when I was with him and he got formula when I wasn't.
Aug 6 2011, 10:42 PM
Cristine, I agree with Zelda wholeheartedly. Try not to stress about it now. I worried a little about having a low supply as well because I knew several women who had to supplement with formula due to their supply issue, but I was fine. Chances are you won't have this problem, but I certainly understand the need to prepare yourself in case it does.
If you do have a supply issue (or any issue for that matter) and you cannot breastfeed, it's not the end of the world. If I have learned one thing about parenting up to now it's that no matter what you do, someone will say it's wrong. At the end of the day, once you are fully informed, do what you feel is best for yourself and your baby and try to block out the opinions of others.
Fookie, so great to hear that Baby F is doing excellent! Wow, 18 months already!
I agree that 6 weeks is an unfortunate mat leave, Cristine. The first 6 weeks are a bit of a blur for most moms and I found I just got into the swing of things around that point. I am already getting nervous about going back to work and I have up to another 13 months to go! I get employment insurance for 12 months, but my work allows me another 6 months. We are planning to go through treatment again next spring so I'll hopefully go back to work once I'm knocked up again. :-) That's the hope anyway!!!
Oh and Cristine, are you going to find out the sex of your baby? Your detailed scan must be coming up soon! So excited for you! Hope you are feeling well!
Aug 10 2011, 03:53 PM
Thanks, everyone, for the rational non-ooey-gooey shoulder to whine on.
Catsoup, thanks for all the local info. The Giant and I are just starting to look at buying some stuff, now that I'm into my second trimester and everything is looking like we're going to have 2 new people this December (hopefully not January, I'm hoping to deliver at 36-37 weeks). How's your little one doing?
I'm still pretty clueless about pretty much everything. What I've learned thus far is that I wish I hadn't been told half the stuff the Giant's SIL and cousin's wife (who has identical twins) have told me. It's scaring the crap out of me! What's really getting on my nerves lately is that I know for absolutely completely sure that we don't want any more kids after the twins, no matter what happens. Over the past 6 years that The Giant and I have been together, I've fucked up my hormones with birth control and now I'm in the middle of a very difficult high-risk pregnancy and will most likely have a c-section. I think that my body has been wrecked enough in this relationship and now it's The Giant's turn to do something: get a vasectomy. Everyone says to me "but you'll be open already! It'll be so much easier!" No. I've given enough. It's The Giant's turn. But for everything else, it all feels like a horror story to me, especially the feeding part.
I'm not planning to breast feed, at least not directly. I do want to pump my breast milk, assuming I lactate normally, but my big reason for it is that there are going to be 2 tiny mouths that need to be fed, and I want The Giant and I to bond with them equally, really do everything equally. Unless I'm producing ridiculous amounts of milk and doing it without too much pain, we're planning to supplement with formula. I won't pump if it hurts. The Giant was formula-fed, as was I and both my brothers and my nephew (though his mom was a meth addict so he needed to be kept far away from her milk), and we all turned out just fine. I know formula can be expensive, but that's really not of concern to us. As far as bonding goes, it'll happen. I've never been the maternal ooey-gooey type, and millions of people have bonded with their parents without the use of breast feeding. I don't see how mine will be any different.
Christine, that 6-week leave is criminal. Then again, I'm probably only going to get 8 weeks, and possibly less if I have to use up my sick/vacation time on bedrest. I was hoping for a full 3 months, but I'm most likely not going to get any disability, so I can't afford to go more than a month unpaid. My medical insurance is top-notch, but my disability insurance sucks ass. I can't afford to pay our insurance out-of-pocket for more than 1 month, and The Giant's insurance sucks. It's insane how childbirth is made to look like a burden in this country, but in parts of Europe, you can get 6+ months paid. Shows how little regard the United States has for women and families. At the very least, I'm happy I don't have to worry about not having a job to come back to. I could probably get away with 6 months off if I really wanted to and could afford it, but I have a feeling I'll be very happy to return to The Land Of Adults. I just hope we can work out a babysitting/telecommuting schedule so we can avoid daycare for as long as possible. I look forward to putting them in daycare in a couple years to get them used to being around other kids, but would rather wait until they're not infants anymore.
So far, everything seems to be going well in my uterus. I'm in the middle of my 16th week, and they're growing evenly and everything seems to be as it should. I went to my OB yesterday, who did a brief ultrasound and saw that they were kicking each other. I think it's so cool that they are definitely aware of each other. I pretty much always feel like I've been kicked in the crotch by a clown shoe full of lead, so I have problems walking, but they say everything is fine. Guess I'll just have to grin and bear it for another 4 1/2 months or so.
I have also learned not to share names with anyone who's opinion matters to us. At a family reunion a couple weeks ago, my mom shot down nearly all my favorite names, so now we're back to square one on that. We've still got a few in mind that we're standing pretty firm on, but I think we're going to need to see them in person before we pin a name on them. At least we know the middle names, which will be George if they're boys, or some variation of it if they're girls. That was The Giant's dad's name, and I want to pass it on.
Aug 22 2011, 11:46 AM
Hi again, everyone.
For those of you who've already had your child/ren, what did you do about people who thought it appropriate to comment on your body as you grew? I have a coworker who's crossed the line with me several times. I'm a person of size, so 4 1/2 months pregnant looks different on me than it does on more slim women. I don't think I'm showing, but this coworker keeps pointing out how my belly is sticking out (yeah, because I'm fat - the clones aren't in my stomach, they're in my uterus. And it's not the round kind of sticking-out that you'd associate with pregnancy, it's more like a tire) and how I look fuller in the face. I feel that she's basically telling me "you look fat and bloated today - congrats!" and it's not sitting well with me. I've told her that my body is my own business, but she seems to have it in her head that a pregnant body is a public body. You'd never make that kind of comment to anyone you don't know is pregnant, so why can't I be afforded the same measure? I just feel like it's an invasion of my privacy. She's not trying to be insulting, but I can't help but be offended that my body is being scrutinized. As far as I'm concerned, the only ones allowed to make those comments are my husband, my parents, and my doctor. From anyone else, it's incredibly unwelcome.
Aug 22 2011, 12:18 PM
Congrats Divala! Glad everything's going well, other than the obnoxious co-worker. Does it warrant talking to HR department about?
Sorry I have no advice, not being a parent myself. I hope everything continues to go well for you and your increasing family!
Aug 22 2011, 04:39 PM
Thanks for the well wishes. No, it's not worth talking to h/r about. This coworker is a friend, but it's not like we're that close that she should feel like it's okay to make these comments. I've asked a few people about it, and I'm not the only one. She even asked another coworker of mine about being pregnant when she actually wasn't. *awkward* The funny thing is that this coworker is also a person of size, and she knows how I've struggled with my weight, so this commenting on my body thing really doesn't sit well with me - I find it very insensitive. I don't think I look pregnant, I just look fatter than normal. It's one thing if I start the conversation, which I'll admit I have before (but never about how I'm showing because I really am not), but first thing in the morning waiting for the elevator when I can barely do anything but grunt until I've had my diet Coke? No... just no. And then there's everyone else around here that feels free to tell me how tired I look on any given day. I'd never say that to anyone.
I just don't know why some people think that women's bodies are public domain once they're pregnant. Maude help whoever attempts to reach out and rub my belly once I'm really showing.
Did any of the rest of you lose any ankles you may have had? I had ankles and normal-shaped feet two weeks ago and now that whole area is all puffy and really quite gross. I can barely fit in half my sandals. Also, I haven't had this many zits since I was 12 years old. Now they're all over me. How the hell am I supposed to glow with the joy of pregnancy if I'm nothing but bloated and full of zits?
Aug 25 2011, 09:42 PM
Divala, that is awful! My only thought is to try talking with her again and being very stern about it. It's not right that your physical self is scrutinized, pregnant or not. If another conversation doesn't work, I don't know what else you can really do as going to HR isn't an option. I wonder what is going on in her own life that she seems so focussed on pregnancy. Is she maybe having trouble getting pregnant and this is her way of coping? Just a thought. Not that it excuses her behaviour, of course.
When I was pregnant it bothered me when people said I looked small. My interpretation of that was that there must be something wrong with the baby because my belly isn't large enough. I even googled pics of women at the same gestation to compare because I was so worried. My doctor reassured me every week, but it was a constant source of anxiety. People should either say "you look great," or nothing at all!
Lucky for me my belly was never rubbed by a stranger. A couple of friends rubbed my belly, which was fine. If a stranger had, that would not have gone over well. It's like strangers touching the baby now - irritating. Why can't people keep their hands off both bellies and babies!
I didn't have any swelling really until the very end and lucky for me, no more zits than usual. My SIL went through a period where she really broke out, but it didn't last for long. Hopefully the same will go for you.
Cristine, I'm thinking of you. How are you doing?
Aug 26 2011, 12:24 PM
Michelina, thanks for the advice. I haven't talked to that particular person since it happened, and I'd rather just let it blow over. No sense in losing a friend over something like that. I've made my point and I know it was heard. She's actually got 3 kids of her own, and she is also a person of size, so you'd think that she'd sympathize more with me. I guess my issue is that while pretty much everyone here knows I'm pregnant (whether I want them to or not), I feel uncomfortable with anyone looking at my body, much less commenting on it.
The way I figure it, I look how I look and there's nothing I can do about it. I work in an office with at least 150 women, so I've seen a lot of different types of bodies while pregnant. Some show a lot, some barely at all. The only thing that matters is that everything is going correctly inside my body, regardless of how the outside looks. The rest is nobody's business. Actually, none of it is anyone's business unless I choose to make it so.
My swelling is still pretty bad, but the zits have abated some. Maybe I was just having a particularly hormonal week with my skin. At least the swelling doesn't hurt, it's just ugly. My parents actually called me just last night because my mom "is concerned about the state of my ankles." Seriously, a 20-minute call about my ankles. My blood pressure is nice and healthy, so my dad has ascertained in his vast medical knowledge (or so he thinks - although he probably is right) that it's okay because I'm not eating so much salt that it's bloating my ankles and a sign of high blood pressure. I'm just so glad that preclampsia is not an issue at this point, and hopefully won't be. I want to keep my normal work schedule for as long as humanly possible before I really start eating into my sick/vacation time reserve.
Aug 26 2011, 05:04 PM
Divala, I'm so sorry!
I don't have time to write long, but I will say that YES people are total assholes when it comes to commenting on your pregnant body. I heard the most horrific comments from coworkers...would I make it till my due date, did I need a wheelchair, have you seen how big your butt looks (yes), etc. etc. etc.
Another coworker of mine who was 3 months ahead of me in pregnancy and I kept a log of all the comments we received and would share comments with each other and make nasty comments. It relieved some of the stress.
I'll never forget the day I was 8 months pregnant and wearing a purple sundress and 3 people told me I looked like a grape.
I have no real advice except to say people feel they can just say shit about you when you're pregnant, and it's fucking rude. I would just smile and roll my eyes and move on...I'm sort of scared of conflict, tho...so...
Hang in there...you are not alone....unfortunately!
Sep 14 2011, 11:32 AM
Geez, Zelda, you sure know some rude people! Nobody's made any other comments to me about it, and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not showing in the kind of way you'd think. My gut is big and round, but above the waist, I still look like myself, just fatter. Since I wear pants every day and I'm still wearing my usual clothes, it's not really obvious yet. But people have no problem telling me how tired I look, which is just as bad. It's only going to get worse from here, too.
I think they've started kicking. They feel like tiny fart bubbles bursting near my skin. At first, I thought it was just gas, but it keeps happening in the same place, so I figure it must be Leftie. Righty isn't as active, and I worry about her.
Now we just need to figure out what we're going to call these things. One of them is very likely to be Freya, but no clue about the other. We have decided, though, that we're not telling our families what we decide on until they're here and there's nothing they can do about it. This is mine and the giant's decision, not theirs, and their opinions really aren't welcome. I didn't even want to reveal the sex, but it would've been too hard to keep mum about it after we found out a couple weeks ago. BTW, they're girls. We were really hoping for boys, but knew there was a really, really high chance of them being girls since that's how the giant's family's kids have run. Just between his brother and one male cousin alone, they've had 11 girls and 1 boy.
Nov 11 2011, 10:35 PM
Divala, how are you doing? When is your due date again?
Well, I'm soon to be back on the trying to conceive road. We have a consult with the fertility clinic at the end of the month and are looking to transfer our precious little embryo in or around March. I still don't have my period back so I have some questions about that, nursing, chance of success, etc. I'm excited by the idea that I could be pregnant again in about 4-6 months! Fingers crossed...
Nov 20 2011, 12:47 AM
QUOTE(Michelina @ Nov 11 2011, 10:35 PM)
Divala, how are you doing? When is your due date again?
Well, I'm soon to be back on the trying to conceive road. We have a consult with the fertility clinic at the end of the month and are looking to transfer our precious little embryo in or around March. I still don't have my period back so I have some questions about that, nursing, chance of success, etc. I'm excited by the idea that I could be pregnant again in about 4-6 months! Fingers crossed...
Hi, Michelina! So you already have an embryo, then, just waiting on the right time to implant it? Good luck!
I'm hanging in there - barely. At this moment, I've got 5 weeks, 2 days, 13 hours, and 30 minutes (CST) left to go, but who's counting. I'm having a c-section on December 27th, unless something happens before then. I just really hope they're not born on Xmas, since it'll be bad enough they'll have to share a birthday with each other and it'd really suck to have to share THAT birthday with Jesus. I was born on a holiday and it sucks. But they'll definitely be out by the end of the year. I can't tell you how anxious I am to not be pregnant anymore. I haven't had ankles since August, I have to wear carpel tunnel braces because my wrists are all bloated and hurty, and I can't even tell you about the pain around my hips right now. I'm still going to work full time, and will continue to until my doctor cuts me off. I really want to show all those bitches at work who think I'm going on bed rest at any moment that I'm a lot tougher than they think. There are several of us at work that are either carrying twins or just had twins, and I want to be the one who works the longest, just to show them up. I'm not in good shape by any means, so it means something to me to stick it out for as long as I possibly can.
I can't wait to have my body and life back, too. I have 4 appointments every single week: 1 OB appt, 2 non-stress tests, and an ultrasound, plus occasional physical therapy because of the pain on my hips. Seriously, it can be debilitating. I feel like all I ever do is go to the doctor and then I have to stay late at work every. single. night. to make it up, and I'm always the last one there. I can't wait for it all to end so I can take a couple months off and hang out and get to know the clones. And have a damn drink. I'd kill for some red wine and scotch right now. I suppose it's a good thing I'm not planning on breast feeding, just pumping (I know to wait until alcohol has passed through my system) supplemented with formula. I want them to be used to both since I really doubt I'll be able to produce enough for both and have enough backup for when other people are watching them (Mom will babysit twice a week when I go back to work).
We've had a couple of baby showers so far, and gifts are still trickling in, which we're really grateful for. Tomorrow we'll pick up a bunch of hand-me-downs from the giant's SIL, and we'll be buying the bigger ticket items within the next few weeks: car seats, stroller, extra car seat bases, rocking chair. It's a lot of work and expense to get ready for kids if you don't already have any.
Dec 15 2011, 07:01 PM
Being pregnant is only fun for the first few months, once you get up around 7 months you want it to be over already.
Dec 16 2011, 10:02 PM
Michelina, so exciting to hear about future plans for more bubbies. March is just around the corner . . . .I've got baby fever and I've got it baaaaad right now, but we're holding off until next fall.
Divala, those twins sound like they are giving you a run for it! It's gotta be good to see the end in sight, and know the date of the section. It was hell not knowing when I would go into labor, nerve wracking hell I tell you. Never had a c-section, so not a lot of advice there, but my nurse friend swears by chamomile tea for post-op gas.
Re: the breastfeeding stuff. Invest in a good pump, and one of those bra contraptions that make the pump hands free. You wouldn't think so, but just holding those suckers all day is a pain in the ass. And multiple attachments for everything so you don't have to sterilize every time you have to pump.
I think it's smart to be flexible, get the man involved, pump and supplement. Especially with two hungry babies. Don't let anyone (especially parents of singletons) give you a moment of grief about it. Formula is awesome stuff. Really. It's freaking superfood.
With that said, if I were you, I might give a shot at letting one or both try and latch. I had a shittastic time breastfeeding in the beginning, but for some women and babies, it's easy. It might be worth a shot just for the sake of convenience. Forget all the stuff about "bonding" and the hazy and somewhat unclear health benefits. Sometimes it's just plain easier to whip out a boob than to pump, assemble a bottle, all that jazz. It might be useful in a pinch, when you're super frazzled, out of clean bottles, it's the middle of the night and your turn to feed, etc. Just a thought. ( I say this as someone who chose breastfeeding mostly out of laziness. Don't tell my lactivist friends!)
How is everyone else? Zelda? Fookie? Christine? Come back in here and talk to me before my winter break ends and I have no life and no time again! How all of our babies?
Dec 18 2011, 09:33 AM
Aphelendra, so great to hear from you! How old is your daughter now?
Divala, thinking of you.
Makenna is now 9 months old and is doing really well. She is happy and bright and is sleeping well. We have had some stretches of poor sleep so I am always thankful when it is going well. Knocking on wood, of course. She is crawling like crazy and cruising the furniture. As active as she is, she also loves to sit and read her books, which is so cute.
I had my consult with the clinic and was told I cannot be nursing at all during the treatment. We are down to two feedings per day and will go down to one per days as of Tuesday. Still no period. I really hope it comes while I am doing one per day because I love nursing and it will be hard to stop.
Divala, on that note, I agree with Aphelendra about nursing being easier than bottle feeding as long as it's going well. I was one of the lucky ones who had no problems nursing. It is easier than preparing bottles. Twins is a whole different ballgame, though, and only you will know what works best for you.
I am sure that lactivists would think I'm horrible for weaning before one year for fertility treatment. I have to keep reminding myself that we all have different paths and no-one has the right to judge.
I'd love to also hear from the other amazing Busties I've met on this site! Hope everyone ios well!
Jan 4 2012, 01:54 PM
Divala, I've been thinking of you. I hope all is well.
Things are good here. I cut down on breastfeeding and got my first period right before Christmas. I am now waiting on my next period so I can get a sono HSG to determine whether I have any polyps. If not, I should be good to go.
Makenna is super active now and her new favorite game is Chase the Cat. She keeps all of us (cat included!) on our toes. It won't be long before she's walking, we figure.
Hope all is well with everyone!
Jan 4 2012, 06:55 PM
Wow! Randomly did a drive by read and now doing a drive by post! Best wishes to all! Can't believe we have been on this thread so long that people are planning other babies. :-) So great! Michelina, don't worry about weaning at 9 months. I weaned about that time, and it was okay. For me, I never really liked nursing, so it wasn't that hard for me, and fortunately Elliott didn't seem to care either way...it's weird, I can't even remember nursing now! But Lord was it a struggle in the beginning.
Elliott is 19 months and the light of our lives. Cannot believe he is almost 2!!!! He starts a little day care tomorrow two days a week. Mr. Z will be watching him one day and my fabulous MIL will be watching him the other two days.
He's not talking much, but he's very sociable, charming, active, and easygoing. And did I mention handsome!
As amazing as he is, we aren't planning anymore babies. Mr. Z is in his mid 40s and feels too old...while I'm only 35 and would probably be able to get pregnant again, I don't feel the urge to have another one and certainly not right now. Sometimes I feel the urge to be pregnant again, but truth be told, I don't feel the urge to have another infant again. It also doesn't make much financial sense for us to have another one.
So for now we are enjoying our little family of three and spending lots of time with friends who are also planning on having one...we hope to create substitute sibling bonds with all of them! :-)
Okay, Elliott wants to show me how my purse works...got to go.
Jan 11 2012, 07:38 PM
I had been checking in frequently, then the threat got so old it wasn't on the main list anymore.
Thrilled to read everyone's news. I'm so behind I don't think I knew about your twins Divala, congrats! My sister has identical twins who were born when her son was still two. Do whatever you need to do to stay sane (bottle, breast ... whatever it is).
Michelina, wow does time ever fly. You're getting ready to transfer another embryo. Amazing (and congrats).
Zelda, I can't believe Elliott is 19 months. Holy smokes. BabyF is creeping towards his second birthday (in March) and I'm in constant awe of the fact that we've all made it intact
I also have not felt any desire to add to the family and definitely no desire to do infanthood again. Which is probably for the best because our adoption was so insanely fast that fate would probably not allow another adoption for 15 years and by then we'd be getting a little long in the tooth to do this all again (but people sure do love to ask us if WHEN we'll adopt again and whether we'll ASK for a girl #@$@#%@#).
We continue to snake toward finalization of the adoption. All paperwork has been sent out by Children's Aid and as far as we're aware it's just a matter of time before we get our court date notice. Please send out some good vibes to us for us to get that notice sooner than later ... as some of you may remember it's been a rough year.
I will start checking the thread more regularly again. I'm sorry to have missed out on all the news.
Mar 16 2012, 01:54 PM
Wow, this thread has disappeared! I had to do a search to find it!
It is so nice hearing from you, Fookie and Zelda! I love getting updates and it amazes me how quickly time flies. It was 3 years ago that I started posting on here. Tomorrow I will have a one-year-old! She is healthy and smart and feisty and funny. The list could go on and on. I am still in awe that my husband and I created this little person who won't technically be a baby anymore after today. Sniff sniff.
Just a quick update to let you know that I started meds, had an ultrasound, flew to the city our fertility clinic is in before finding out our embryo did not survive the thaw. There was a 20% chance that would happen, and it did. We were sad and disappointed, but quite honestly, I'd prefer that over a negative pregnancy test 10 days later.
They only pull the embryos out of the freezer and hour or two before the transfer, which is why we didn't find out until we arrived for the transfer.
We are now looking to do the whole process over. They will increase my meds this time and we hope to get more embryos this time around. If we had had more than one, chances are that one would have survived the thaw.
Hope everyone is well.
May 20 2012, 09:43 PM
I hope that some of the Busties from a few years ago still check in now and then! It would be great to hear from you.
Just a quick update. I went for another round of IVF and this one was really tough. It was an emotional roller coaster right from the beginning. After considering cancelling the cycle multiple times, we decided to go ahead and managed to get 2 embryos in me, and 1 in the freezer. Unfortunately, after all of that, I am not pregnant. It has been a very tough week since I found out it failed. The one in the freezer gives us a mere 20% chance. We will go ahead with the transfer, but we are not optimistic. I won't get myself excited like I did this time around.
I hope everyone else is doing well!
May 26 2012, 04:44 PM
(((Michelina))) I'm so sorry to hear that, how dreadfully disappointing. I can't imagine how tough it must be going through this. I will keep everything crossed for the transfer.
I check in this thread from time to time, it was such a lifeline for me during pregnancy and early motherhood. Would love to hear from some of the other old regulars. My son is almost 2 and a half! where has the time gone?!
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