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Thanks for all of the advice re: smoking cigs vs weed. Mr M and I chatted a little about it and he reassured me it is only 4 per day. I think we'll just leave things be for now. Zelda, I like the idea of pot only on weekends, but I think Mr M would have a hard time not dipping in on weekends if he has it around. He has had some probs with insomnia and I think that he was depending on weed to help him sleep. That seems to have gotten better lately. I know cigs are bad, and I hate the things even though I have the occasional drag to get a buzz. :-) Hopefully once a baby is on the way, he will give it up altogether. We have a long road ahead before that so I will try to just leave it alone for now.

Aphelendra, welcome and congrats! It is really encouraging to hear that IUI worked for you. Did you do medicated IUI and if so, what medication? I am doing unmedicated this month and next, but I'm not really counting that as the success rate for unexplained infertility is actually hardly increased, if at all. My first medicated round is the one that I have more hope for - that will be in April.

I have decided to not have any alcohol or caffeine (except for chocolate - cannot live without that) in the luteal phase now that we are starting treatments. It will be hard, but the stakes are so much greater now that we are spending money. And I just want to do anything and everything to increase our chances.

Jenny, great hearing from you!

Funnybird, I'm glad that you realized that you didn't really want the job anyway. It sounds like maybe things are working out the way they are supposed to.

Cristine, how are you? I hope this period hasn't been an awful one for you. It just makes the disappointment that much worse, I find.

I had a bad period this time around. I had a normal flow until all of a sudden I gushed and blood was all over - right to my mother's couch. I ran to the bathroom and there was blood all over the floor. (I really proved there is no such thing as TMI on this board!) It was awful, but I was so glad that my mommy was there to help me. I said to her "I just wish you were holding my hair as I puked in the toilet rather than this. I would give anything." She just expressed how much she wishes the same. She has been incredibly supportive and she even plans to come with me to Calgary while I do IVF to help with my injections and provide support. Oh and my manager thinks I will get sick time to do IVF. That means a full wage. Woo hoo! Of course there is nothing in our union contract about infertility treatment, but my manager believes I'll get the time off as long as I have a doctor's note.

Feeling pretty good right now.

Have I mentioned how happy I am to have this board and how wonderful all of you Busties are?

Oh and welcome Nickclick! I agree with Zelda - babymaking can be stressful and can put a lot of pressure on guys. I also think every second day around your fertile time should be sufficient. I think sex every day can hinder conception when the sperm count is borderline.

Speaking of borderline, while Mr M's count is normal, it is 25 million per mL and WHO says it needs to be at least 20. We just found that out at our last appointment. So his count is not muche higher than the low limit of normal. It may be that I am just not very fertile, and need a very high sperm count. It gives me some more hope for IUI as many more swimmers will make it to the vicinity of my egg!
thanks everyone! i am trying to relax. there is so much information out there. i'm happy to be here. welcome to aphelendra and congrats!
Nickclick, I agree with what everyone has said about the timing of sex. One month we had sex for 6 days straight around my fertile window and that obviously didn't matter, we now do 2-3 over a period of 5 days. It is very hard to mask any disappointment when the guy doesn't come through. I used to tease my husband all the time because he's always told me he could have sex at least once per day, but now that it feels like a task there's many days he's just tired at the thought of it. I try to keep it fun for him and have to make a conscious effort to try not to put any pressure on him. This last month we were taking a break but I of course knew approximately when I was going to ovulate, so one night I just jumped on him and had carefree fun, I'm not pregnant but it was a very nice break. Good luck!

Aphelendra, welcome and congratulations!! And as Zelda said, there is no such thing as TMI here!

Michelina, I didn't think this period would be hard but yesterday we went to my in-laws for a birthday party and saw a 40 year old cousin with a brand new baby! Did not expect that! Anyway, Mr. C & I talked and cried last night... I'm really hoping this happens soon cuz it's just so heartbreaking! I'm so excited to hear about your IUI rounds because I have a feeling that's where we're heading next. We did debate adoption or becoming foster parents last night but it's too big to hash out in one night!

Now today as my period subsides, I'm just looking forward to the Superbowl!! Zelda, I did not want this to be a drinking day but it's a consolation prize! And I really can't believe you're already 23 weeks!! Crazy!
Thanks for the warm welcome from everyone! I think I'm going to like it here . . . .

Micheline - We couldn't do any ovarian stimulation because it tends to aggravate the endo, so no clomid or anything like that. Ovarian stim is usually reserved only for IVF in patients like me, to avoid excess endometrial tissue growth. I did do an Ovidrel "trigger" shot just to ensure that ovulation was complete. Seven days after ovulation I began progesterone supplements, 200 mg lozenges 3x a day.

We actually had the procedure done the morning after I ovulated (cervix had already closed and nurse said no visible CM). We were scheduled to have the insemination on a sunday, but I called on friday and demanded to be seen saturday morning because I was sure I had ovulated or was about to. The tests can be hard to read, so I found it very helpful to pay attention to any other fertile signs, and it ended up being fertile CM that tipped me off. Buggo came from a day 10 egg when I usually ovulate day 12-13!

Also, just wanted to mention that if your stressed about cost, the IUI itself was waaaaaay cheaper than I expected. The procedure was about 450$ including the sperm wash. We also had an ultrasound about a day before ovulation that cost about 300$, plus the cost of the ovidrel and progesterone. Not bad compared to IVF!

Good luck! It may just happen on an unmedicated month!

To Zelda - Congrats on the baby boy! I can't wait for our second trimester ultrasound. Because we were considered high risk, I got to see our Buggo every week from week 6 to week 12, and now I'm going crazy not seeing the little thing! Second trimester must be just great, getting to see something that actually looks slightly human instead of slightly alien. . . .We're definitely going to find out the gender, I'm no good at waiting!

And about that pesky weight gain . . . .I just got myself a Y membership and started swimming for a half hour every day. It's actually quite relaxing, despite the slight embarrassment over my very wobbly thighs!

And to all the ladies with sperm wonderings - Been there! I don't know if anyone's tried it yet, but we were told any over the counter vitamin supplement with high levels of antioxidants (esp. vitmamin E) would improve sperm count over a few months. My mr.'s count was borderline low, but after two month's of vitamins (which i had to chase him around the house to get him to take, grrrrrrrrrrr) his number's were up quite significantly. At our insemination, his post-wash motility count had almost doubled!

He also is a pot smoker, though he did stop temporarily (for about a week) before the IUI. I read somewhere that you can actually temporarily "stone" your sperm. I can't remember the source and haven't decided if this makes some sense or if it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. . . .

As for the ciggie smoking, which the hubs is known to do from time to time, taking antioxidants is sure to help reverse some of the effects of just a few smokes here and there . . . .I would think . . .

christine - I chuckled when I read about your "consolation prize". whenever we didn't conceive I would reward myself by going straight to the store and picking up a six pack of some ridiculously expensive microbrew I would never have otherwise let myself buy. add a few friends to the mix and . . . .carefree fun ensues.

Anyways, sorry again for the ridiculous lengthy post . . . .I shall return now to studying bacterial quorum sensing, which is what I should be doing, although I would much rather be perusing the Babies R Us website . . . .

Happiness and healthiness to all!

Aphelendra, my doctor asked me if I wanted to do the shot. I hadn't even thought about it, but decided not to this time. I am just testing LH with urine, which kinda sucks because now I have to do it in the work bathroom! Anyway, I may do the trigger shot next cycle. It will be the next step on the fertility treatment ladder. The IUI in my clinic is $300 and luckily all of the monitoring is covered by my health card (I'm in Canada and really do feel blessed that all of the tests are covered.) So yes, it is relatively cheap. It sure beats the $10,000 or so I anticipate spending on IVF!

Thanks also for your comments on the cigs and sperm count, Aphelendra. I`m glad to know I`m not alone in chasing the guy around armed with vitamins. I have been giving Mr M a multi every day, and now am also giving both of us a vitamin B complex with additional zinc, vit C, and Vit E. I asked my doctor if she would consider his count borderline low. She said that his total motile count was well above normal (the volume was very high) but agreed that the concentration isn`t all that high. She said I just `may be`the person who needs IUI. I sure hope so!!!

I had my ultrasound on Monday and my dominant follicle was 13mm. She said I have "beautiful ovaries." She is so sweet, but I'm sure she says that to all of the girls. ;-) My doctor believes I will ovulate on Friday, which is CD15 and about typical for me lately. I am a little nervous about it as there is a lot of coordination among the clinic, Mr M, and me. I just want to ovulate and get it over already!

Cristine, I hear you on seeing people with new babies, particularly when in a part of your cycle where there is no hope that you`re pregnant. Are you waiting one more cycle, then heading back to the doctor.

Nickclick, you must be well into the 2 week wait by now!

I am getting inseminated tomorrow morning!
Good luck Michelina. I hope for very fertile follicles.
Good luck Michelina! I have everything crossed for you.
good luck Michelina !
Thanks everyone for all of your encouragement.

However that went horribly wrong. Mr M's sperm count was 13 / mL and motility was 20%. The concentration was half that of his analysis in July and the motility was much reduced. They could only get 250,000 good sperm in me and they like to see 5 million. I am really upset and have been crying. Now I have to tell Mr M that he may have oligo. I was already concerned that his count was borderline.

I may go on Clomid next month. If the count and motility are still low, I want to move right to IVF.
Michelina, I am so sorry!! But it's still possible that it could work!
Damnation, Michelina.

What is oligo? And why would you have to go on Clomid?

Okay, we do know he had a relatively normal count could be possible this is an anomaly. I have read that it is common for a man to have a "bad" result once in a while.

Remember Mr. Z's motility was 40%...Mr. M is not terribly far from that. I remember going online and reading frantically about male fertility when we were TTC, and seriously, if a man can produce any sperm at all (which Mr. M can), it is almost certain they can do something with it, even if that means proceeding to IVF.

I have heard you bring up IVF several times...I wonder if for your peace of mind it wouldn't make sense to just go ahead and go straight to that and skip IUI for now. You're impatient like me, and with IVF you might have faster results. Plus I think you'd be excellent candidates.

Thinking of you...please update us.

Thanks Zelda and Cristine. It is still possible I'll get pregnant according to the abstract I linked below. My chance is about 5% according to it. That is what unmedicated IUI is for unexplained infertility anyway! Now I am just wondering if we have explained infertility.

By oligo I meant oligospermia (low sperm count: less than 20 mil / mL). I wonder about the cigarettes now. I know it can be a once off, but given it's been a year without a pregnancy, this may be our answer.

Zelda, a large part of me wants my doctor to just recommend we head straight to IVF. I am impatient, and we want our baby! Thanks for pointing that out to me. I see my doctor again on Feb 24. I may do Clomid in the meantime just to increase the chances a little before I start injectables. I cannot start injectables next cycle because I am going to Phoenix. Woo hoo- hot weather!

"Of the total of 258 patients, 15 achieved a pregnancy in 284 cycles of IUI in which the inseminating motile-count was < 1.0 million motile sperm, resulting in a monthly fecundity (f) of 5.3%."

This was the sentence I was referring to.
Shit, Michelina, I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm also thinking "what the hell????". Did anyone at the clinic say why Mr M's sperm may have taken a turn for the worse? Are there plans to do another analysis, or maybe look for a potential cause (considering that things were fine a few months ago)? What does he think about it all?

I'm thinking of you. This news has hit a nerve for me because I'm a bit paranoid about AB's sperm, especially as he only has one testicle now! I also have to chase him round the flat with a bottle of vitamins, and sneakily direct him towards boxer shorts instead of briefs (he has both) by putting the boxers at the top of his underwear drawer and hiding the briefs at the bottom. Anyway, I hope you can get some answers.
I, too, am confused by Mr. M's results since he had normal ones the first time around. I remember with Mr. Z, the clinic wanted to do two SA tests even though his first results came back normal. (We never did the second test because we I'm sort of wondering what the results would have been!)

I read around that time that it is very common to do two tests because of anomalies in men's sperm. I read that when a man has a normal first SA, the second test is sometimes skipped because it is really rare for a man with "bad" sperm to have a random good day...however it is MUCH more likely for a man with healthy, normal sperm to have a random "bad" if they test you once and you have a bad result the first time but a normal result the second time, they can be pretty sure the first test result was just a fluke.

It still seems like this is what could have happened with Mr. M. It seems much more likely that this is the case than that smoking a few cigarettes having such an impact.

Funny, was Mr. F tested after his treatment? It might give you peace of mind to know his current results. I ran around after Mr. Z with vitamins, too!!!

Ultimately, Michelina, Mr. M is making sperm and some are viable. This is still good news as some men literally don't make any (although I've heard even THOSE men can be helped with sperm retrieval surgery where they go into the testicles and get some oh my God I cannot believe I know this). ANYWAY, Mr. M is making and delivering some viable sperm, and that is good....I look forward to hearing what your doc says about IVF.

Thinking about you and still believing you will have your baby soon...
Thanks for the support. This has hit us hard and it's so nice to have a place to talk (write) about it.

Mr M and I talked about the analysis yesterday. He feels pretty down about it. We are puzzled about it, but because his count was not much above the lower limit of normal on the first analysis, I am not all that surprised about the number. The motility drop is much more puzzling. I suggested that Mr M quit tobacco altogether and order some weed. I suggested that he just smoke a tiny bit to take the edge off. It seems to me that 2 hoots of weed is better than 4 or 5 cigs per day. He is going to think about it, and has already committed to weaning himself on cigs. It doesn't explain everything, but it's a start. And like you say, Zelda, maybe it was just an outlier and does not truly reflect his swimmers. My bet is that the next count will be around 20 - just right on the border.

I have this feeling that we are both subfertile. Two subfertile people = infertility. If one of us was super fertile, we may have had a little one on the way by now.

I am going to suggest another analysis before we head out on our vacation. Now that we are followed in the clinic, we'll get same day results. That way I'll know if it's any use to go on Clomid next cycle. If the next count and motility are still that low, let's just get that referral and get going.

I would have gone ballistic if we had this news last summer. But now that we are one year in, a part of me feels some relief and wants this to be a sperm issue. We both agreed that it's better to be Mr M than me who has the "problem" as this is remedied easily with IVF. He also wants to do everything we can to get our baby while maintaining our sanity.

Funnybird, if you are concerned and it's on your mind, I don't see why Mr F shouldn't be able to have another analysis. It makes sense after all you have been through. If there are issues, it's so much better to know about it.
Hi everyone,

((((Michelina)))) Oh grief, what a blindside! I don't want to give you false hope, and I imagine the clinic could elaborate on possible issues ... but, we did five cycles of back to back IUIs (that means Mr. F. had to provide samples two days in a row each time). So I have 10 points of reference for knowing his sperm count ... and boy was it all over the place. You'd expect that the second day would always have the lowest number, but that wasn't always the case.

Most times the first day he was around 20-30 million after the wash. Second day he would be at around 10-15 million. On one of the cycles he had 13 million the first day and 35 million the second day!!! We were always well over the five million they like to see at minimum, but if you could jump that much either way between days and months ... maybe Mr. M. did just happen to have a really bad random day?

Also, has anyone talked to you about caffeine for motility? We had read about it and been told about it. Mr. F. would down espressos the morning of.

To everyone else out there, our endo told us that for some reason the StressTabs brand of multivitamins for men seemed to improve things on the man's side (Mr. F. had been eager to do something from his part and she'd mentioned to us that in cases with male factor they were recommending this and it wouldn't hurt for him to take it for an extra boost).

We had our last homestudy meeting on Thursday. It went great. Our practitioner loves us and we love her and we're so hopeful. We have decided to try to adopt solely through children's aid for the next year and see where that brings us. There are some things about us that apparently make us desirable and may mean we get matched faster than the wait times they like to state (we have two languages, we're young relative to most couples in the adoption pool, etc.). I am also working through the concept of indebting ourselves for five years to adopt privately. I have issues with this. I'd really rather put that money into an education fund and savings so that we can provide opportunities that i didn't have (i'm not talking about superficial things or extravagant non-superficial things, but something as simple as summer camp) as a child.

We are apparently, though I didn't feel like it, considered to be fairly open to certain issues that can make some infants hard to place. We have incredible benefits, so are very open to anything physical that is thought to be resolvable, and b/c we've both had family members deal successfully with depression, we're more open than most to a birth parent with a history of it. Basically for almost all the questions, we never said "no way" just that we'd consider it depending on the amount of details and info available concerning whatever issue it was that they needed us to think about.

So.... on the one hand I'm optimistic, on the other I guess I'm worried that we'll only be thought of for issues other won't consider and since I don't feel like we're all that open I'm terrified of having to say "no thanks" and live with the consequences of knowing that we turned a baby away. (and i KNOW that we don't have to feel guilt for a number of reasons, i just feel horrified knowing that after everything we've been through it is very likely that we will be put in a situation of having to say "no" or consider saying "no" to finally having a child).

Wishing you all the best.
Zelda, AB made three 'deposits', one before the surgery and two after. The first had a count of 19 million/ml, which was apparently very good considering all that was going on down there at the time (plus we hadn't been as abstinent beforehand as recommended). The second was a few weeks after surgery and 22 million/ml, and the last was 17 million/ml. All three had 70% motility. Although the counts were all a bit 'borderline', the Doctor at the sperm bank told AB that they were fine under the circumstances and that his sperm were exceptional swimmers, so I was quite happy. 6 months later I'm not quite so sure...

I'm hoping that the vitamins and cutting back on alcohol will boost things a bit. If I'm still not pregnant by May (12 months since the miscarriage) I'll talk to my GP and hopefully get us started on some tests.

I am reassured to hear from Fookie that counts can vary so much. And nagging our menfolk about taking vitamins has to be great practice for parenthood, right?

Fookie - I can completely understand your concern that being considered open to the possibility of a child with issues might lead you out of your depth (so to speak). Can you talk to your practitioner about this, as it sounds like you have great relationship with her? I'm glad to hear that your and Mr F's awesomeness has been duly noted!

My confession of the day - I ventured in to Baby Gap today to find gifts for my beloved little nephews (aged 4 and 1) but had to leave without buying anything as the the piles on tiny clothes just made my heart hurt too much. Gah, I'm such a sap...
Funny, you are not a sap at all! When we were TTC I couldn't look at baby or maternity clothes...I think it's very human. Architect Boy's numbers sound great...70% motility is I said, Mr. Z was 40% which some consider borderline fertile (although his count was very, very high...can't remember now exactly what it was).

To cheer you....had dinner with a dear friend tonight who revealed she is 13 weeks pregnant. She had a miscarriage in early summer and it took about 8 months to conceive had taken about 9 months the first time. I have very good feelings for you...

Fookie, I am so glad you like your practitioner and I echo Funny's suggestion that you talk to your practitioner about your feelings. Remember that the odds are still very high that you will be chosen by a birth mother who is healthy and has a healthy baby. I know it's only natural to jump to a worst case scenario, but I think it's so good that your practitioner said you were so desirable...and I think you need to be kind to yourself. I don't know any pregnant woman who hasn't wondered, "If if found out this baby had a major problem, would I keep it?" In a sense, you are having the same feelings....if you were offered a baby with major issues, would you say yes? But I don't even think it will come to that...and if it does, I trust you and Mr. Fookie and your great relationship will set a great foundation for answering that question in a loving and honest way.

Michelina, I am curious what Mr. M's counts will be the next time...I'm glad you can get the results so fast. I still have hope this was an anomaly. I've heard caffeine helps also...Mr. Z was drinking a lot of Red Bull when we conceived....I wonder if this helped his motility! Please keep us updated and as always I am thinking good thoughts.

Ponyo/Elliott (we think!) was moving around a lot this morning and is slightly more mellow this evening although he still moves around. I picked out the paint color for the nursery and painted a swatch on the wall...I think it looks pretty's a pale green. Hopefullly it will look as good when the entire room is painted that color!
Elliott is such a great name! i had a major crush on Elliott from E.T.

so one month down. period is due next weekend and i feel cramps and have seen some usual preliminary spotting. sad.gif
Hello all!

First off, I totally feel everyone who's TTC and having trouble being around babies/baby stuff. In the the year and a half between finding out I had endo and actually conceiving the bug, I had three friends become pregnant by accident. What do you mean you made a baby by accident!?!? What is that?!?!?

It took me one surgery, one excruciating recovery, the hardest decision I ever had to make, a million ultrasounds, needle pokes and gross lozenges, giving up what was left of my youth, and thousands of dollars to do something that you did WITHOUT EVEN TRYING!


Ok. I will now collect myself. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

Fookie - I am so excited to hear that everything is proceeding on your road to mommyhood! Mr. A and I hope very much to adopt at least once after the bio babe, even if it turns out we can conceive again. It sounds like such an amazing process and I am so excited to be able to follow your story.
Don't worry too much about accepting/not accepting a babe at this point. I can imagine that the right decision will feel right and therefore be ok . . . .And who knows, it very well may be a dilemma you aren't even faced with . . . .

Zelda - I love love love Elliot! And I love a green nursery, I think that's what we're going for, boy or girl . . . .

Funnybird - I have to second the info on sperm counts. Mr. A had slightly below normal motility (I forget exact percentage) at his first SA and it wasn't looking too promising, possibly due to a pretty substantial varicocele (seriously, we are ******* 23/24! I have to entertain the possibility that we are just bum models, and should not be procreating anyway . . . .) But on the day of my insemination they were able to inject me with 52 million motile sperm. He more than doubled his motile count. We just lucked out that this was the day we were scheduled for IUI.

We also had a boxer/brief dilemma. Mr. A had a possible brief episode of torsion, and was told by his doc to switch to briefs. We were just beginning to TTC, and I rashly decided that until we had a bun in the oven this was not an option. The Mr. still teases that Buggo could have cost him a testicle!

Nick - Hang in there! Not conceiving after a single month is certainly no reason at all to be concerned but I know it can be a nerve wracking process no matter how far in you are!

And of course to Michelina - I am so so so sorry to hear about the latest bump in the road. But remember, that's all it is, just a bump in the road! Some of us have only a few, and unfortunately some of us have a few more.

I totally understand the urge to move straight to IVF. We were only given six months to try on our own anyway, and there are some people with totally normal reproductive systems that don't conceive in that time frame. I wanted to just skip the heartache of all the negative results and jump straight into IVF. But our doc thought it was worth a shot and we decided to go with his advice, and here we are. We spared ourselves a lot of money, a lot of time, and a lot of medication. If your doc thinks you have a shot, then you probably do! It's worth a try, even if that's all it is, a try. Your chances with IVF will likely be the same if you wait just a bit longer anyway. And the Clomid round is sure to greatly increase your chances.

For you and funnybird and fookie :

A message from the other side . . . .
I know how much this hurts, but you will be a parent some day and some way, if that is what you truly want. By the time your child is in your belly or your arms so much of this pain will melt away. Some of it feels like a bad dream, and some of it stays with you always. The pain that does stay with you always reminds you how lucky you are. You all are going to treasure the experience of raising your families in a way that I think a lot of people don't get to.

Crap. Now I've made myself ( and Mr A who is hovering over my shoulder) cry.

Wishing you all health, happiness, and babies!

aphelendra, thanks for the kind words and happy tears!
Hello Michelina,

I'm not new to the bust lounge, and i have been following all the pregnancy discussion and everything so i feel like I know most of you, I just haven't had the chance to contribute to it, as I'm not planning a pregnancy in near future for health reasons, but anyway I just wanted to drop in and say that I heard from my naturapath that bee pollen has amazing effects on men's health and especially in increasing sperm count. I thought I would just lurk in and let you know. Good luck!

QUOTE(Michelina @ Feb 13 2010, 08:15 AM) *
Thanks for the support. This has hit us hard and it's so nice to have a place to talk (write) about it.

Mr M and I talked about the analysis yesterday. He feels pretty down about it. We are puzzled about it, but because his count was not much above the lower limit of normal on the first analysis, I am not all that surprised about the number. The motility drop is much more puzzling. I suggested that Mr M quit tobacco altogether and order some weed. I suggested that he just smoke a tiny bit to take the edge off. It seems to me that 2 hoots of weed is better than 4 or 5 cigs per day. He is going to think about it, and has already committed to weaning himself on cigs. It doesn't explain everything, but it's a start. And like you say, Zelda, maybe it was just an outlier and does not truly reflect his swimmers. My bet is that the next count will be around 20 - just right on the border.

I have this feeling that we are both subfertile. Two subfertile people = infertility. If one of us was super fertile, we may have had a little one on the way by now.

I am going to suggest another analysis before we head out on our vacation. Now that we are followed in the clinic, we'll get same day results. That way I'll know if it's any use to go on Clomid next cycle. If the next count and motility are still that low, let's just get that referral and get going.

I would have gone ballistic if we had this news last summer. But now that we are one year in, a part of me feels some relief and wants this to be a sperm issue. We both agreed that it's better to be Mr M than me who has the "problem" as this is remedied easily with IVF. He also wants to do everything we can to get our baby while maintaining our sanity.

Funnybird, if you are concerned and it's on your mind, I don't see why Mr F shouldn't be able to have another analysis. It makes sense after all you have been through. If there are issues, it's so much better to know about it.

Aphelendra, thank you. That was really sweet. Made me cry at work smile.gif

Funny and Zelda, thanks for the advice and perspective. At this point, despite our amazing adoption profile book, we've decided to step back from private adoption and see what happens via the public route. So it won't be so much about a birth parent choosing us, but about the children's aid society deeming us to be a good fit with a child under 18 months (that's our age request).

Basically what will happen is that we'll be presented with a profile. We can decide to say no thanks, get more info, or go ahead. So we'll see how it goes.

Zelda, did I mention yet how much I love the name Elliott? It's great in English and French, which is something I always think about smile.gif
Hi everyone!

It's been a while since I've posted, been trying to keep a low profile and not think about the 'getting pregnant' thing too much lately but have still been checking in to see how you all are!

Although, I reappear now because I am due to test the day after tomorrow...this has been a funny month, we had sex about 4 days before I O'd so I thought it was a no go. BUT THEN all sorts of irregular signs keep popping up.... cm didn't dry up after ovulation, nipples so sensitive they hurt under the shower, pulling cramps, constipation, headaches for the past few days and when I woke up the other morning I almost fainted! Had to lie down on the floor for 5 minutes till it passed. Very strange as most of these things never/rarely happen to me. Anyway, so I had another temp spike a few days ago and it has stayed unusually high even though I took it at 6am today....rather than 8am or so.

I'm trying desperately to resist doing a test NOW because I know it may end in a sad night for me! I kind of want to hold off until at least saturday so that I know I'm not testing too early. The disappointment is always so much worse when you convince yourself that this HAS TO BE IT!

Anyway, it's driving me crazy....I find myself just staring at my chart hoping something will jump out at me that is painfully obvious just so I can figure out what happens next!

Aphelendra, welcome! I love your posts, you have a great way with words! It's nice to know that other people under 25 want babies too! biggrin.gif

Michelina, I'm sorry things haven't been progressing much for you this month. It's important to remain positive and know that it will happen for you, sometimes it just takes a bit of time. I can't even imagine the amount of love you will have for your future child after having gone through such a process to get to there.

Yay for the crazy ladies trying to get preggers before 25!!!!!

I hope your test goes well, it sounds like something is going on . . . .

I had all kinds of crazy symptoms that started a good few days before my RE actually tested me.

Good luck!!!!!!
Aphelendra, you know so much more than you should have to at your age... thanks so much for posting here & congratulations on your little buggo!

Michelina, how are you doing?

I tried to post yesterday and I guess it's a good thing it didn't work cuz I was in such a shitty mood yesterday. So today is my first peak day, but wouldn't you know, I started to get a cold last night! I feel like crap today and I'm sure that won't be better by tomorrow. But the fight must go on! So it looks like Mr. C (who gave me the cold & is now over it) will be doing all the work this round! And I've never tried the Guaifenesin experiment but it looks like I actually have reason to this time.

Zelda, one question, did you use PreSeed the month you conceived? I hope all is well with little Ponyo!
Much more later, but wanted to answer Cristine's question...yes, we used Preseed every month we TTC. smile.gif
Christine- Me too (regarding the preseed). Just be carefull what you take for your cold- decongestants can dry up your cervical fluid. I tried Guaifenesin a few cycles, but not the one I conceived in. I say it's worth a shot!

Just wanted to pop in and say "hi" to everyone. I'm still around, just not posting much these days. I'm 33 weeks and 4 days today. Baby seems to be doing well, and I am tired. Welcome aphelendra! smile.gif
Aphelendra, thank you for your words - they were very comforting. You are right - we will all get there in our own way at some time. You write beautifully, by the way.

Fookie, it sounds like things are really advancing for you guys. I know there could still be a significant wait now, but it seems like that is not necessarily the case. Can't wait to hear your news!

Yumyum, great to hear from you. Can't believe you are almost at the end of your pregnancy already. I look forward to hearing your news too!

Lauren, sounds very optimistic. Please keep us posted. Thinking of you.

Sib, thanks for popping in. I still need to look that up. But whatever will help Mr. M's swimmers sounds good to me.

Zelda, I too think Elliott is a great name. I also am reminded of the boy from ET. That is the first movie I remember watching and I was obsessed with it as a child. I also like it because it is neither really common nor really obscure. I imagine most could pronounce and spell it no prob. How is the nursery coming?

Cristine, Mr M and I use preseed. I really like it. I have other lube for non-fertile times and it really sucks compared to the preseed. I think it's worth the extra money. I hope you shake that cold soon.

Nickclick, how are you?

Guess I don't need to worry about preseed anymore now that babymaking is being attempted in the clinic! I am quite anxious to get into my doctor next week. Our plan is to get another sperm analysis, start Clomid this cycle with IUI, switch to injectables for a cycle or two, then get to the IVF clinic. I figure 3 attempts is enough. I just don't think I can handle a ton of IUIs, especially considering that I will now be super stressed about the count each time going in. We would like to start IVF this summer because Mr M doesn't have school. But we really cannot plan everything. I had to remind myself of that several times last night while we were talking about it. So much depends on the waiting list, where my cycle is, the fact that we have some holidays this summer, etc. It may not start at an ideal time, but we need to just go with it. Trying not to be a Type A planner right now and just see what happens.
About 7 1/2 weeks pregnant w/ no. 2. So many people here trying so hard to get pregnant, I wish you all luck. Probably the last thing you want to hear is my moaning but I came here to introduce myself and to unload:

Waaaaaaah! Hour upon hour of nausea every day! Waaaaaaaah! Headaches! Waaaah!

That should do it. Feeling sorry for myself today. I feel fucking awful.

Much non-nauseous pregnancy vibes for everyone!
Hello everyone and welcome are totally welcome to post here. There are new moms, pregnant ladies, ladies TTC or adopt...just come on in. As long as you don't talk about baby dust. ;-)

I'm 33, pregnant with my first and am at 25 weeks. Didn't ever have nausea (don't hate me) aunt swore by eating saltines before she ever got out of bed in the morning. Hopefully it will pass soon.

Hope everyone is doing well. Ponyo/Elliott is doing great and kicking a lot. It is such a comforting feeling!

I have one weird and annoying symptom that popped up this week. I've been getting skin tags (common in pregnancy) under my armpits. Now I have one on my left nipple and it is irritated and itches a LOT. I mean, my nipple HURTS. Not sure what I should put on it or do...right now I am just walking around without a bra or top and letting it air out...and when you have inflated pregnancy boobs, that's not necessarily a comfortable look.

Oh well...if it doesn't go away by next week, I'll call the doctor.

I'm worrying about my weight gain...I don't feel like I've cut back this month at all despite the 7 pound weight gain and my doctor's (nice) suggestion to slow down. I've upped my prenatal workouts, but dang my sweet tooth is constantly in overdrive and the Girl Scout cookies we have in the house do not help!

Glad to see so many new names and faces on this thread...laurenz, hope to hear good news from you soon! It's so hard to not test advice is if you can hold out, do it...the first two months of TTC, I tested early multiple times and drove myself nuts. I always found getting my period (as depressing as it was) to be a million times easier to take than a negative test. Good luck!
delibelly-just popping in to say that when I was on this board in early pregnancy in late '08, I was the only one who seemed to have nausea. It was all day and terrible and nothing helped. I got to the point where I only ate packaged peanut butter crackers (not healthy), bananas, and lemonade or sprite with crushed ice. To avoid gaining too much weight like I did, you might try saltines or wheat thins with a thin layer of PB and fizzy water with lemon instead of Sprite. My nausea came to a sudden halt at 12 weeks (or maybe it was 14, can't say for sure now). It was wondrous.

zelda-I had skin tags all over too. They went away after the birth in a matter of days. Try keeping that nipple moisturized with oil. I used almond oil all over breasts and belly the whole pregnancy and don't have a single stretch mark (but I think that's genetic and compensation for how bad I had the nausea).

Hello delibelly!

Nausea sucks sucks sucks sucks. The only thing I found very helpful (besides not listening to everyone' very silly suggestions, ha ha) was eating constantly, mostly carb-y things. Anyway, I gained 13 pounds in my first trimester, mostly by way of bagels, so maybe I'm not the lady to take advice from.

I do second the saltines in the morning advice, for what it's worth. A nurse at my doc's office also suggested eating a cracker every time I got up to pee in the middle of the night (which was many many times), this seemed to help with morning queasies. Although more than once I woke up with half a soggy saltine in my mouth. Yuck.

Zelda - I remember my mom had skin tags with her last pregnancy. I remember this because she took me with her to have them removed, and it was kind of bizarre. The dermatologist used some sort of stringy device to remove them, which again, was kind of bizarre to watch, but it didn't appear to hurt her very much. Take all this with a grain of salt though, the perceptions of a seven year old probably aren't the most reliable . . . .

p.s. - I take your seven pound weight gain in a month and raise you three pounds . . . sigh. I was doing better, swimming every day and all, but then I got a stupid cold and haven't exercised in days. And why is it that pregnancy + hunger = reckless abandon when it comes to food? Ok, maybe not reckless abandon, but I certainly didn't need that rather thick slice of coffee cake a half hour before bed.

Cristine - I agree! I am way the hell too young to know all this and I wish I didn't have to. On the up side, I had to give an oral presentation on some aspect of medical technology last semester for one of my bio classes. Guess who didn't have to do an ounce of research and still got an A? Mr A said to me, just explain all this stuff to them like you explained it to me . . . .

Michelina - Good luck this cycle!

I'm off to sleepy town. Thanks for all the well wishes and sending the good vibes out to all . . . .

13DPO and still no period! Very unusual/annoying!

More waiting, waiting........
I had nausea with my son, and I also made my mother very sick during her pregnancy. My son and I are both very prone to motion sickness, so I think I'm just a genetically barfy sort. I do recall it stopping with my first at about 14 weeks. I'm finding staying away from sugar helps, which is nice 'cause...wait for it....

I gained 45 lbs with my first pregnancy!

But, you know, it all came off without much effort, and within about 3-4 months. I'm pretty relaxed about weight gain because I think some people just gain a lot. Especially, it seems, if you are very thin to begin with (though I am not). And then you are so busy those first three months after birth, you just don't have time to (I hope, for your sake) give a shit. Then I stepped on a scale one day and - hey- it was gone. Not a true story for everyone, but maybe it'll give hope to any of you that are gaining a lot.
welcome delibelly! ~~~sending anti-barf vibes~~~

sorry, lauren........ when will you test again?

i am due for period today and i'm usually quite prompt. i've been feeling the PMS - bloated boobs, cranky, constipation - all the usual fun stuff. i think i'll test tomorrow. i don't think so and it's only been our first month ttc......

ps what's baby dust?
I am thin and did not gain much the first time 'round, less than 30lbs. More with the 2nd though, around 50 or 60 I think. The first time it was totally gone in 4 weeks, the second time more like 3-4 months but nursing is what takes it off. You lay down a layer of fat to feed that baby with and if you don't use it for that purpose you're most likely gonna have to work to get it off. So there you go, nursing's not only great for the baby, it's good for you too (plus it reduces chances of cancers associated with female reproductive organs, etc). I say don't worry about any weight you put on until afterwards if it's an issue for you, then you can do something about but in the meantime it's hardly worth stressing over. You just never know how you're going to be until after the baby comes anyhow. Just take care if you're Really putting it on and are at risk for gestational diabetes! That needs to be addressed.

I think that nausea and vomitting are the body's way of protecting the baby from toxins in the mama's system so, as uncomfortable as it is, welcome it if you can. It's your body's way of building a healthier baby and I gotta say, even though it sucks right now it really is the kind of thing you don't give a second thought to once that phase is past. It's over when it's over so ride it out as best you can, dry crackers and all that, and focus on that light at the end of the tunnel! "This too shall pass" has been a mama mantra for me for years.

As for skin tags, maybe this is a terrible thing to do but as soon as I notice one I snip it off with the nail clippers before it gets too big. Doesn't hurt but even if it did, I'd still do it myself. Those things are too weird for me to leave hanging around my dermis. Oogy!
holy fuck (no pun intended)....

HPT = +


i'm calling my gyno tomorrow for an appointment and hoping i don't see blood before i see her.
Nickclick, congratulations!!! I had a very strong feeling I would be seeing this news from you this morning, actually.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!
Yay nickclick!!!!!!
Hope your appointment goes well and try not to stress while you're waiting, surely everything will be fine. I know where you're coming from though, I'm 18 weeks along today and I still periodically leap up and run to the bathroom, convinced I am bleeding, which thankfully I never am.

Pepper and delibelly - thanks for the input on weight gain, I'm very very glad to hear you guys didn't have much trouble losing the extra after baby. I'm definitely planning on nursing (by hook or by crook!) so hopefully that will help. I don't mind waiting a few months, as long as it comes off eventually . . . .

I have two more weeks till the big ultrasound and every day seems to be passing more and more slowly . . . . aaaarrrrrgggghhhh. Can't wait to find out if we are having a boy buggo or a girl buggo.

On a funny (but slightly gross) note. . . . I finally get a break from my period and my stupid dog gets hers. She's not scheduled to be spayed until mid march, so now I've got a sixty pound german shepherd running around my house in an adult diaper with a tail hole cut into it. ha.

Luck to the TTC ladies and health and rest to all.

p.s. "baby dust" is a term used on lots of TTC/mommy forums, mostly the type where people have obnoxious signatures where babies born are depicted as bouncing smiley icons and little angel icons for babies lost. There's also lots of abbreviations I can hardly understand and may I just say again I am so happy to have found this thread . . . .
Day 35 and 15DPO..... another negative! I bought a 3 pack of tests yesterday when I realized I wasn't getting my period. Then I became obsessed with reading about false negatives...aarrrghh! I think I'm going to skip a test tomorrow and do another one on wednesday.

Congratulations nickclick!! That is awesome news! I'm glad at least one of us is getting results around here! tongue.gif
Nickclick, OMG!!! Craziness! I am so happy for you.

I was so worried in the beginning too, always checking for blood...just try to stay calm and know there is really nothing you can or cannot do at this stage that will affect any outcome. The best thing I kept telling myself was that I knew Mr. Z and I could conceive...that was huge for me after 9 months of trying. Try to focus on that positive news for now.

Also, don't be surprised if your doctor doesn't want to see you for about two weeks - pretty standard in very early pregnancy. I actually didn't have my pregnancy confirmation appt. until I was 9 weeks. They may take you sooner if you request it and you're really nervous.

Delibelly and Pepper, thanks for the weight gain advice. I figure if I keep gaining at this rate, I'll probably gain around 35 pounds...I can handle that, I think. :-) And I do plan to nurse, so hopefully that will help, too.

Mr. Z and I went on a weekend getaway this past weekend to the TX Gulf Coast and it was so nice...but man, I'm beat. I just don't have the energy I once had. I get sleepy and tired so much more frequently! Makes sense, I know...I just wish I had tomorrow off, too...I need a day to recover from the getaway!

Ponyo/Elliott was out of control moving yesterday, kicking so hard Mr. Z and I could see my belly move. He's more mellow today. I've noticed he has crazy days followed by more mellow days....makes sense, I guess! :-)

More later...thinking of you all and so pleased to read all these new voices and stay in touch with all the familiar ones on this thread.
PS Laurenzorro, the month BEFORE I tested positive I had a very strange cycle where I was several days late but it was still can be frustrating. False negatives can and do happen...hang in there through this testing and know that your positive month will come soon if it isn't just around the corner already.
many thanks everyone! so weird talking to both of our moms today and not mentioning anything.

yes zelda, if period does come i will surely be disappointed but happy to know conception is possible. btw, is there more apt but concise terminology for carrying to term than 'stick'? as in - if this thing sticks, we have to think of great halloween costumes!

i can wait for a couple of weeks if that means a better doc visit. i'll see what she says tomorrow.

my doc wants to wait until at least 6 weeks so my appt is not for another couple of weeks. i dunno if i can stand the wait.

what should i be reading right now? any book/website suggestions?

aphelendra, are you favoring either result of the ultrasound?

~~~ + vibes for laurenzorro ~~~
Overall I'd say avoid the Internet (other than us). It's crazymaking.

The bible is "What to Expect When You're Expecting." Some don't like it, but I think it's excellent. I've referred to it many, many times during this pregnancy. "The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy" is also very good.

Some like "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" but I found it pandering and also seemed to be targeted to women who thought they deserved jewelry for giving birth...weird. Sort of like the anti-BUST lady would like that book.

I'd say pick one or two resources and go there only. The two I've mentioned have been my guides throughout the pregnancy. If you go to too many sites and refer to too many books, it can overwhelm you. I'd say the same is probably true for baby raising books! :-)
I definitely will be happy with either boy or girl, just anxious to find out and be excited about either one! But because we aren't absolutely sure we'll be able to conceive again by the time I have graduated (which is a good few years off), it somehow seems like its an even bigger deal. Strange, even though we would both gladly gladly gladly accept a babe of either persuasion . . . .

I did enjoy What to Expect because it gives a nice month to month/week to week description of what's going on. I especially liked that they kept comparing the developing embryo to various fruit items (today my baby is the size of a raspberry!), and it also alerts you to when various things develop. But I think I liked the Mayo Clinic Guide a bit better, it's a little more technical. It seemed to be more about the medical side of things and less about the emotional, but that was just my preference at the time.

I also really enjoyed LLL's The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I read it pretty early on, once we were nearing the end of the first trimester. It made me feel a bit more prepared for the actual parenting part. It deals not only with breastfeeding but things like infant attachment, sleep patterns, nutrition in the first year, and even touches on disciplining the very young child.

Hoping all remains well, and that your wait to get to the doc passes quickly . . . .
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