Jan 2 2010, 06:43 PM
Fookie, I am so glad to hear you received such an enthusiastic response to your announcement! Sounds like you guys are blessed with a wonderful family to offer your little one!
Another "Not Pregnant" today... oh well!
Jan 2 2010, 06:57 PM
Cristine, sorry to hear it was a negative. I got my period today as expected. It looks like you and I will be cyber cycling for a while. :-)
Fookie, your family's response must have been a great joy. It sounds like they are all very supportive and excited.
Fookie, did you ever try Accupuncture? If so, do you know if treatments are tax deductible? And are naturopath consultations tax deductible? I have heard great things about Accupuncture, particularly during IVF so I plan to give it a try. Also, with injectables, is there a certain limit as far as how many cycles they can be used? I have heard that with Clomid, but I have decided to go down the road of injectables instead due to the higher success rate. I also think they have fewer side effects.
Jan 4 2010, 02:02 PM
I've been only lurking, so before posting my question I want to say:
Fookie, adoption rocks. Good on you for doing it.
Michelina & Cristine, I'm sure your day will come. Shenomad and I got lucky at 4 months, and our friends D&D for *2* years before getting pregnant. "That's not what they told us in high school."
Yay Jenny! Thanks for sharing your (& Archibald's) story.
Zelda, thanks for sharing your TMI. And: Dance, Ponyo!
Yumyum, we're dealing with the same fitness issues now that Shenomad is 'feeling' the pregnancy. We're car-free and walk everywhere, but she's been soooooo sick ("'morning' sickness my ass," she says) that we've stopped swimming, yoga, pilates altogether. Today will be the first day back in the pool. As the hubby, I know I can help by leading, but my own laziness means it's a challenge. Thanks for inspiring!
So my Q: last night after going to bed, Shenomad asked me is I was really hot & sweaty. I wasn't, but when I looked, I had something on my arm. Turns out she had expressed from her nipples. We're only in week 16! Do any of you BUSTies have any experience or knowledge to share?
Jan 4 2010, 02:36 PM
Michelina, I woke up to my period today. For some reason this month seems really hard. Even though I had 2 negatives, I had no period symptoms and 32 days was a long cycle for me. I'm a little depressed today and I don't even want to think about trying again next month.
Jan 4 2010, 02:59 PM
Christine, I'm sorry! That was how I felt last month, and this month I was just sort of like, "whatever". About the whole thing. I know how frustrating it is. And it seems like when you are trying to get pregnant, EVERYONE around you is already pregnant. I feel for you.
Has anyone here used Vitex? I think it is doing something weird to me... This month, at 5 DPO I had a tiny amount of bright red spotting. Tiny. Part of me wanted to think "Implantation bleeding!" But I am not getting my hoped up. I tend to spot before AF but at 4 DPO that is no where near AF. After intercourse yesterday I spotted some more, which is normal for me closer to AF. (I think from my cervix lowering or something). Anyway, that went away, and I am fairly sure I am not pregnant, since bleeding after sex is caused from my cervix lowering. It should stay high if you are pregnant, right? Then today I have had a little more bright red spotting (10 DPO). And much different from my usual AF spotting. The only thing I did differently this month was to A) start a prenatal vitamin.
Take baby aspirin C)take Vitex (to shorten my long cycles, which it did), and D) take a vitamin B^ supplement (also to shorten cycle).
Maybe I am OD'ing on cycle shorteners?? I feel fine otherwise. Any ideas??
Jan 4 2010, 03:20 PM
Everyone, just a pop in to say I'm sorry this will be a short note. My home computer died on me, and while I'm waiting for my new laptop to arrive next week (yay!) I will have limited access at work.
Just a quick hello to say I've read everyone's updates and am thinking of all of you.
As for me, we have our second trimester ultrasound tomorrow and will hopefully find out the gender. I'm sort of a bundle of nerves as I am also hoping everything is all right, but I am just trying to remain calm and focus on the exciting aspect of it all.
Hope to give you all an update soon and write back more to all of you.
Jan 4 2010, 04:13 PM
Cristine, I'm sorry to hear that. I know it's not much of a comfort, but I hope this helps a little.
Jan 4 2010, 06:00 PM
Tommy- I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who is struggling with getting in exercise. We went on a walk Saturday and yesterday (it's very cold here so I am quite proud of us!) and I plan on doing my yoga video again tonight. As for the breast leakage, I haven't had much experience with this. I have found a few very small spots of what I assume is dried colostrum on my bra at the end of the day, but I've never actually witnessed anything coming out. I know it's different for every woman- sounds like a good sign to me!
Christine- I'm sorry to hear about your period. How long have you been TTC now?
Yummy baby has been moving around a lot today. Sometimes when it happens, it catches me off guard. It reminds me that I really do have a living being inside and it just makes my heart swell with the most incredible feeling of love. I'm exactly three months from my due date today, which is another head trip. I can't believe how fast it has gone so far! I have so much to do...
Jan 4 2010, 08:11 PM
Quick reply ... Michelina, fewer side effects with injectibles. I don't think there is a limit for the cycles. Though I think that most docs would encourage IVF after 4-6 cycles depending on how each cycle went. As for acupuntcure, my naturopath is licensed, so I did it through her. I can't vouch for success for obvious reasons, but I had also heard good things. My health benefits cover up to $1500 of "alternative medicine" so I never had to find out if there were any tax deductions.
Michelina and Cristine, so sorry about this month's negatives. Glad you'll be cycling together.
Thank you everyone for your kind comments about my holidays and family reaction.
Jan 5 2010, 10:45 AM
(((Cristine))) I know how much it sucks. Thinking of you.
Zelda, I am so excited to hear about your ultrasound!
Fookie, thanks for the info. I am trying to schedule an appointment so that we can get started on IUI. I am scared and excited. Your health benefits are amazing by the way!
Tommy, thanks for your words. We will all get there in some way, shape, or form. You are right. Congrats on your bundle-to-be!
Kitty, sounds good. Crossing fingers and toes!
Yumyum, three months is so soon!
Jan 5 2010, 04:18 PM
Just a quick one to say that December was a bust for me too. Is there anything crueller than a period that arrives on day 17 of a luteal phase? I'm feeling kind of 'meh' about the whole thing at the moment.
Jan 6 2010, 10:32 AM
I am thinking positive thoughts for everyone, and I'm so sorry to hear about the arrival of periods. Bleh and bleh. Funny, 17 day luteal phase IS cruel. Way cruel. Better to just be on time, right? But it will happen. You know it can and IT WILL.
Again, I am writing a quick note as I am at work and don't have computer access at home, BUT I had to pop in and let you all know...it's a BOY. We learned yesterday at the ultrasound. He was not shy about letting us know, squatting and showing us all his business. He marched a bit and then hid his face behind his hands.
All fingers, toes, arms, legs, look good...head is a good size, we saw the heart, kidneys, spine, and brain, and all looks good. There is no "guarantee" that all is well, but the doctor saw nothing to recommend further testing. She offered us quad screening as she is required to do, but we declined.
He is our little peanut, as cute as a button!
More later and hugs and good vibes to all.
Jan 6 2010, 02:14 PM
zelda, congratulations on your boy! You will have a ton of fun with your little guy in just a few short months...I can't believe you're already at 20 weeks!
yumyum, I love hearing about your little one moving around...sometimes I look at Henry and I can hardly believe he is the same guy that used to kick and bubble around in my tummy.
Fookie, I am so happy that your family is as excited as you are (and as we are) about your adoption plans. I am thinking good thoughts for your future little one.
TTC ladies, I'm so sorry to hear that this month has been a bust. Around the holidays is always tough, especially new year...when I wanted a baby so badly and mr julie wasn't ready, I always met the new year with a mix of hope (maybe this will be our year!) and despair (another year and no baby yet, is this EVER going to happen?). I'm thinking of y'all. And funny, I agree - period arriving on day 17 is just cruel. Yikes.
Just a quick update - we are doing OK, though I am still not getting enough sleep (I average about 4 hours a night, in 1 to 2-hour increments). Breastfeeding is getting better, though I'm still pumping every three hours or so and about once or twice a day we have to give Henry a formula bottle. Nursing is good when I can do it, but it's both time-consuming (because he still likes to doze off at the breast, so I'm doing switch nursing to try to keep him awake long enough to get a meal) and occasionally painful (because I still have to correct his latch, and that boy has quite the powerful little mouth). Had my 6-week postpartum checkup yesterday and finally allowed myself to look at the scale for the first time in months. Not pretty - I'm about 20 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. But I'm cleared for exercise, so if I can find any time to actually DO exercise, that will help. I won't actually diet while breastfeeding but I should probably try to eat a little better and cut the crap out of my diet.
Jan 6 2010, 03:21 PM
That's very exciting news, zelda!
julie, I don't think worrying about weight is worthy of your energies right now. Enjoy being a mum, and the magic your body has produced. As for diet, I think indulgences are underrated. Your body will tell you what foodstuffs it needs and wants.
Shenomad is at the opposite end of the sleep scale, at 14 hrs/day. But since that's the only time she's not puking or dry heaving, I see no reason to wake her. As for food, she can stomach most crackers, some teas, fresh fruit, and one real meal /day. I say stomach, but I mean 'can eat.' Everything eventually comes up. All of this has her swearing that we'll take Fookie's path for any future chlidren.
yumyum, movement is something we haven't--at week 16--experienced yet, but shenomad thought there was a 'swish' yesterday!
Huge hugs to all the TTC BUSTies--and don't stop having fun practising! Your magical positive test will come.
Jan 6 2010, 05:08 PM
Zelda! Congratlations. Woo-hooo.
Julie, I second Tommy. Don't let the scale get you down. A lot of that is baby-related anyway. Have fun with the exercise.
Jan 7 2010, 06:26 AM
Zelda - a boy - that's so exciting! Glad to hear all went well with your scan. Must be a huge relief to know your growing bean is safe and sound in there.
Funnybird, 17 days is way cruel. Did you test or wait until your period arrived? Here's hoping that 2010 brings all of us some good news.
Jan 7 2010, 12:40 PM
Funny- I'm sorry to hear that December wasn't your month. Sending good thoughts to you for January.
zelda- Yay, a boy! Since the beginning, I've felt that yummy baby is a boy. Three more months and we'll see if I'm right. Can't wait!
Michelina- have you tried acupuncture yet? I had acupuncture done when I was 16 years old for severe menstrual cramps and I have to say, it really worked. I didn't have any cramps for at least 6 months after I stopped the treatments. I have heard that it can help with fertility. I'm sure you've heard about this before, but I thought I'd mention it just in case...
Jan 7 2010, 02:43 PM
yum, if you don't count the first 2 months where I didn't understand/monitor my cycle then we've officially been TTC for 6 months. I know they say it takes up to a year for people to conceive, but there's just no logic to support that as far as I'm concerned. And each one of my mom's pregnancies was a surprise, she never tried.... same with both grandmothers, who each have a lot of children. I'm beginning to believe that all my years of smoking have thoroughly aged my eggs. A friend of mine who is also trying said to me, with smoking we basically have 40 year old eggs. She was trying to lighten up the conversation, didn't work.
Zelda, I knew it was a boy (as I'm sure everyone is now saying to you) but it just seems like you hit the target on the exact perfect day which usually means boy.
Congratulations on your healthy little man!!
Funny, it's a damn cruel world! 17 days??? I'd be out shopping for baby clothes by then! So sorry!!
I am only using the monitor this month... no temping, cervix, cervical fluid, symptoms. This will probably be the last month because I just can't keep doing this! And my damn period is a cruel joke that my body is telling me I'm still at a fertile age. Sorry to be such a downer guys...
Jan 8 2010, 01:25 PM
Update... we are skipping a month, Mr. C thinks it's the best thing we could possibly do for ourselves right now. I do of course know the week in which I will more than likely ovulate, so that will certainly be in the back of my mind... it's impossible to completely disconnect, but I'll try!
Jan 8 2010, 05:40 PM
Cristine, I have to say I love 'break' months. Eat and drink whatever-the-hell you like! Relax during the TWW, and when your period comes, enjoy the knowledge that you can't have 'failed' 'coz you weren't trying in the first place! I know it's difficult to disconnect, but it's also good for your mental health to have a month off. It's also a good opportunity to observe your cycle in a more objective way - without trying to interpret every twinge as a symptom - if that makes sense.
Zelda - congratulations on your boy! Glad to hear that everything looks present and correct too. I can't believe you're at 18 weeks already! Where did the time go?
Cristine's comment about shopping for baby clothes made me laugh. On the night of 16DPO I resolved to test the next day, but by the morning my temperature had plummeted and the bleeding started straight after so I didn't need to. Saved me from wasting the test, I guess. Long luteal phases are a GOOD thing, I know - but damn! - I was starting to think we'd cracked it towards the end. I had a bit of a melt-down, but I'm feeling better now. I just have to remind myself how bleak things looked five months ago so I can be grateful that we even have the opportunity to try 'naturally'.
I'm wishing wonderful things in 2010 for us all.
Jan 8 2010, 05:48 PM
Taking a month off sounds brilliant, Cristine. I'm sure it was in BUST that I read, years ago, a woman say that a glass of wine in the third trimester is a lot less stressful to a baby than listening to a bunch of know-it-alls bitch her out for drinking while pregnant.
We're coming up on 36 hours without projectile vomiting for Shenomad. First time in 11 weeks that's happened. Keeping our fingers crossed.
Jan 9 2010, 10:34 AM
Yumyum, Mr. M and I are going for massages at a clinic that also offers accupuncture. I'lll inquire today and get something set up. The sessions are only $40, which seems pretty decent to me.
Tommy, glad to hear that the vomiting is subsiding. That must be awful!
Cristine, the break idea sounds like a good one. Will you just not monitor, or will you actually avoid sex near ovulation?
I am currently on day 8. This month is our last try before IUI. I have very little hope, but I guess we'll give it a try. I'll have to start testing at day 10 now as my last ovulation was on day 12. It will be interesting to see when I ovulate this month. I'll just focus on that.
Jan 9 2010, 01:51 PM
Thanks Tommy and I'm glad to hear that She seems to be able to hold everything down now!
Michelina, I plan to have sex this month whenever we want to which, knowing Mr. C, I'm sure it would happen at least once during the 5-day anticipated ovulation window. But if for some reason it doesn't happen, then I wouldn't force it (like I usually would during the 2 peak days).
Funny, interesting what you said about observing my cycle more objectively because during this period I noticed that my breasts DO get sensitive approaching and during my period... which I never really noticed. Also, a lot of the "non-period" pulling, twinges & cramping I would get during my 2ww I DID have during my period! So a couple things that I never previously recognized.
Jan 11 2010, 07:50 PM
Cristine, sounds like you and Mr C have a good plan for this month!
Kitty, how are you?
Jan 12 2010, 09:34 AM
Cristine, sometimes it is a great idea to take a break. I remember one month Mr. Z and I did that...we did have sex once or twice in my fertile window, but I was more relaxed that month and it did take the pressure of, for sure.
Michelina, I know you may not have a lot of hope for this cycle, but I hope you feel good knowing you've got the next step in your plan and that IUI has been successful for so many couples. Hopefully you can focus on that. I am thinking good thoughts for you as always.
Long luteal phases are normally a good thing, Funny, but when they're especially long they can be crushing. That happened to me the month before we did conceive, and I just remember sobbing in Mr. Z's arms. Wishing you every good thing.
There is a time warp I have noticed in all this babymaking. When we were TTC, time went at a snail's pace, especially the 2WW. Now time is moving so quickly. It is hard to believe on Thursday I will be officially half way through. How is that possible? It truly seems like just yesterday that I tested positive.
I've started to feel a bit anxious these past few days. Now that our baby seems so real to me, I feel extra worried about him, getting everything done for him in time, etc. I've started to feel him move - just a bit - and I get worried if I haven't felt him often enough even though all the books say this often it is common to go days sometimes without movement. It feels SO funny, like a small tickle on the inside. Yesterday he tickled me so hard in class, I laughed out loud.
Hope all the new moms are well...check in when you can!
Jan 13 2010, 08:49 AM
hello i'm new to this thread as mr.nick and i are planning to start TTC soon. any ovulation predictor tools - online or real - suggested? thanks!
Jan 13 2010, 10:21 AM
Nickclick, welcome. My husband and I used Answer OPK. Cheapest ones I could find (unless you buy online). There is a digital brand with a smiley face, but it's way expensive and has to be used with urine that's pretty concentrated. The Answer strips can sometimes be a little tricky to read, but you get used to them. I found saving the strips and referring back to days past helped me gauge whether they were getting darker or not.
Good luck and more later.
P.S. Avoid any sperm-hostile lubricant like KY or Astroglide. There is a company that makes something called Preseed that is quite affordable and just like any other lubricant...you can Google it...I ordered online.
Jan 13 2010, 11:45 AM
Nickclick, I would highly recommend the ClearBlue fertility monitor... BUT it is a bit pricey, I was able to borrow one from a friend and I just bought the test strips for it. I think I've seen used monitors for a decent price on ebay. Before using the monitor I used First Response but soon tried to look for clearance items, my market (Ralph's, aka Kroger) was always a goldmine for cheap ClearBlue tests. Aside from that you may want to monitor your body's indicators (temperature & cervical fluid). Good luck!
Jan 13 2010, 07:01 PM
thanks! so weird NOT trying to not get pregnant....
Jan 13 2010, 09:48 PM
I'd always been SUPER responsible about birth control...I remember the first time we did it without...literally the first time in my life without a condom or the pill (after over 10 years of being sexually active). It was so ODD.
Ponyo is kicking and moving up a storm tonight!
Jan 17 2010, 10:27 AM
Welcome Nickclick! I wish you a speedy (and fun) conception! How old are you?
I am 32 and have been trying for one year. We are starting IUI next month if all goes well.
Zelda, it must be amazing and wonderful to feel Ponyo kick. I can't believe you are halfway to meeting him already!
Has anyone ever had an OPK that was very very close to positive, but not quite? I had a very dark line on Thursday, but it was just a shade under the control line. I had EWCM but didn't actually have ovulation pain the next day. I don't always have pain, but kind of wish I had this cycle so I wouldn't have doubts. This morning my temp was in the ambiguous range. I started my progesterone anyway, but of course am worried I haven't ovulated and in that case, the progesterone would screw everything up. I am probably worrying over nothing. At least with IUI I'll be getting monitored more closely and probably won't have to second guess like this. At least there is a positive to it.
Jan 17 2010, 01:16 PM
Hi, Michelina...good to hear from you! It is amazing to feel Ponyo move...amazing and funny, too. I try to guess what the moves mean...if he's kicking or punching or rolling or what. The moves are still pretty faint, but man, they are there. He feels realer than ever now.
To answer your question, yes. In fact, the month we conceived I had an OPK test that was in my mind not that positive but pretty damn close. Since I was going out of town the next morning, we went ahead and did it that night just in case - even though I was sure we were not close enough to the window.
As it happens it worked, and we may have been even closer than I realized since we're having a boy and I've heard the closer you time sex to ovulation the higher are the odds that you'll have a boy.
Good luck and I say, go for it anyway. I also had other months where my EWCM was not really that existent and other months when it was. I figure I probably always had plenty inside where it counted, but maybe not as much on the outside.
Jan 18 2010, 05:43 AM
thanks! i'm 34 and at first, we were like - well we know we want kids so rationally we should start soon. but now that we're trying and it really might happen, we're really, really excited. it's difficult not to tell people that we're trying. so i may be posting here often. and lurking. good luck everyone!
Jan 18 2010, 06:18 AM
Thanks, Zelda. My temp was 98.2 this morning, which is definitely a post-ovulation temp for me. Of course then I wonder if it's just that the progesterone itself raised my temp. I am going to quit worrying about it. Our chances of success are so low now that it's not a huge deal anyway if I suppressed ovulation this month! I am going to start testing every cycle by day 10. I have such sensitive tests that I may as well just get the bad news as soon as possible.
Sorry for the negativity today.
Nickclick, I know what you mean about the excitement! It was hard for me to hold back and not tell people as well. However, I mainly kept it to my close friends and family. Now that we have unexplained infertility, I am glad I didn't tell too many people. Sometimes I regret telling as many as I did, but for the most part, people have been supportive. My advice is to tell people as you are comfortable, but keep in mind that they will also be the people who know if you have trouble.
Jan 18 2010, 07:31 AM
Michelina, I don't think you need progesterone from the second you ovulate. Usually the progesterone is to help prevent early losses. I had read that some clinics only have their patients taking it from about day 6. Since I was being scanned constantly, I always knew I had ovulated. But maybe if you don't know for sure, you would be just fine waiting a couple of days? I didn't know that it could screw things up if you hadn't ovulated yet, so that would definitely make me weary of taking it early. Maybe you could give your doctor a call?
Zelda, so fun that you're feeling the movement! It's incredible that you're already halfway through this! It really does feel like yesterday that you were announcing your positive. I'm so excited and happy for you.
Welcome Nicklick. Best of luck on your journey. We'll look forward to hearing all about it. I hope it happens fast for you. I second Michelina's advice about the people you tell. I also have unexplained infertility. So as our timeframe of "trying" extended into three years, there was a point where the people I didn't feel comfortable talking to about the infertility but who I had told about "trying" were starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Not by anything they did, but by the mere fact that they had stopped asking and I was imagining that they were feeling sorry for us ... and this made for a weird brain circle of thoughts.
Well, Mr. F. and I attended our first day of P.R.I.D.E. training (Parent Resources for Information, Development and Education) on Saturday. I must admit to feeling some frustration about this being mandatory. Though I will admit to their being some good information and good points to think about. There was a lot of time spent telling us that "you know you can scan pictures these days) and it would be easy for us to create our "view book" ... sigh. Mr. F. is a graphic designer by trade and I'm a writer. The people in our session all seem great. One down, three more to go. We're also down to the last two home study visits. So things are really rolling along. Feeling very good and positive about it all. Occasionally the money-aspect gets it's death grip into my brain and I struggle with anxiety about that. But then I remind myself that although I have huge issues with being in debt, there are people carrying much more debt that we will be by the time this is done, and they are managing it. And we will manage it. And we will pay it off. And it will all be ok. Right?
Jan 18 2010, 11:49 AM
Welcome, Nick! By the way, love the Mad Men quote...I'm a huge fan. I third Michelina and Fookie's advice not to tell too many people you're trying. I did NOT follow that advice and lived to regret it. It took us about 10 months to conceive, and by month 6, I was sick of the pointed looks and the questions...I really told almost everyone I knew, so sure it would happen right away. Of course I hope it does happen right away for you, and now that we're pregnant it's sort of a moot point that I even regret telling people, but if I could do anything over again, it would be not to tell anyone but a few close friends...basically, the people I would go to if I needed support.
My other advice is to give yourself a good six months and then if it doesn't work, go get tested and checked out. The preliminary tests are so easy and they really gave peace of mind. Set yourself to the idea that it will take some time. Of course I hope it *doesn't* take too long, but I was so sure that I would get pregnant fast that I am still sort of stunned it took almost a year. But as I've learned, most people in our age group (I'm 33 now, was 32 when we conceived) take 7 to 10 months on average. So just try to be patient (I know it's hard) and as relaxed as you can.
Michelina, I'm sorry you're feeling so down, but I'm really, really looking forward to you starting the IUI process and hearing about that. I have a lot of hope for you on that as you do have a lot of positives in your favor including your age, Mr. M's sperm count, and no known factors or obvious problems. I am thinking of you lots and sending you tons and tons of positive vibes.
Fookie, I am beyond excited that you are in this journey. I'm sure some parts are frustrating, but wow, you are really moving along so fast! I can't wait for you to be a mom...seriously, so excited for you. And I'm glad you like the people in your group. That is awesome. I am thinking good thoughts for you and am always anxious to hear your news. As for the debt, screw it. Debt scares me, too, but this is just about the best possible debt you could ever get yourself into. In 10 years (or fewer) once you've paid it off - or even if you haven't yet - you won't give a damn when you look into your kid's face and share a smile.
I went to IHOP this morning and had a spinach omelette and juice and fruit and Ponyo was moving the entire time...guess he likes IHOP! :-)
Jan 18 2010, 12:43 PM
nickclick, I am 32 & Mr. C is 33 and we've been officially TTC for 6 months... we started having unprotected sex for 2 months before that, but I never knew when my window of fertility was. When we started trying, we told his best friend & my best friend after the 1st month, since then I have told 5 other close friends... no family because we know they wouldn't stop asking for updates! Then on New Years I got into a conversation with my extended friends and the topic came up, so now 5 other friends know. But I feel ok about that only because we were talking about the difficulties of getting pregnant after 30, it was strange to hear girls that don't want kids yet talk about temping & egg reserves! I don't feel so alone now, I'm really glad that conversation got started and I no longer feel like I'm hiding some embarrassing secret. But I'm very very glad I didn't excitedly announce it to everyone in the beginning, only to find out the grim reality that getting knocked up ain't easy! The funny thing is that when we first started trying, I was kinda nervous about it... but once it didn't happen month after month, I knew for certain that I am ready and have no question about that anymore. With all that being said, I really hope it's super easy for you and that you get pregnant right away because this journey is miserable... well, it is for me but that may just be my impatient personality. Oh and feel free to post here often, thsese women have been so helpful & supportive that I just don't know what I would have done/thought without this thread.
So I haven't been tracking this month but I of course know I'm on day 15 of my cycle, I usually ovulate between CD 15-18 so of course we'll be having sex. And yesterday I felt a rush of cervical fluid, but I resisted the urge to analyze it. Then today I felt mild ovulation pain, but who knows. I don't feel any less stress by not monitoring this cycle, I feel just as frustrated & hopeless as I have for the past several months.
Zelda, that sounds blissful hearing about Ponyo moving so much!!
Jan 19 2010, 06:22 AM
thank you all for the great advice and good luck to everyone! mmm IHOP.....
yesterday i used a target gift card from christmas to buy a basal thermometer and a copy of What to Expect Before You're Expecting
. (first i have to finish reading Flow: The Cultural History of Menstruation
i've told my mom, which is kinda weird talking with her about doing it with my husband. but i talk to her every day and yeah, if this gets frustrating or anything else, i will certainly need my mommy. but being 34 and married for over a year already, we are constantly being questioned - when are you gonna have kids? my standard answer is - we just bought a house a few months ago. we move slowly around here.
Jan 19 2010, 09:48 AM
Nickclick, by the end of my TTC journey, I had had multiple conversations with my mom AND dad about Mr. Z's sperm quality and my charting. They're both very open and supportive, so it was okay, but never in a million years did I think I'd have those kind of conversations with them!
Another great book...Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Very interesting and insightful book for any woman, whether she's trying to conceive or not.
Jan 20 2010, 06:36 AM
Speaking of telling or not telling people, I have not shared any of this with my dad or anyone on his side. Recently over a family gathering, I said something about my mom moving away to where her granddaughter lives, and my dad's girlfriend pipes up "Well, what about your children? Aren't you going to have children?!" Then my aunt pipes up "She'll probably get pregnant right away." Awkward! I mumbled something about not being sure we wanted children and the server luckily rescued me by asking me for my order.
Mr M and I decided we need a better response for people's inquiries. I was just really thrown off by it!
Zelda, thank you for your positive words and vibes. I am very very hopeful that we'll be one of the lucky ones who can conceive with IUI and injectables. The chance of success is 15 - 20% per try - back to the chances for someone with normal fertility. I figure we should give it 5 rounds before moving on to IVF. We'll try a couple of non-medicated rounds too just in case it works.
Fookie, I had no idea that some people don't start their progesterone until day 6. I am curious why my doctor started me on them right after ovulation. I see her again on Monday - I may ask about that. And wow, your journey is really progressing!
Cristine, I felt quite scared too when we began TTC. Like yourself, my utter disappointment every month has made me realize how ready I am. Now even the thought of a newborn's soft skin and smell are making me long for a little one. I think my maternal instinct is really starting to kick in and I want a baby more than ever now.
Jan 20 2010, 03:46 PM
Michelina, I swear I smelled that unique baby hair scent as soon as you said that! You put a smile on my face. I also had an awkward moment at Christmas that I just laughed off & did not comment on. My in-laws do not know we're trying, but they're dying for us to have kids. My father in law handed me this gift that looked like a baby carrier, so I jokingly said "did you buy us a baby?". Yes I know, big mistake that I totally stepped into... he jokingly replied "well someone had to since you guys aren't trying!". I swear my first instict was to yell out "we ARE trying!". But I instead opted to not make Christmas day awkward for all.
I'm on CD 17, lots of cervical fluid (unanalyzed) on CD 14-16 and we had sex on CD16. Don't know when or if I've ovulated but we'll see if maybe I had a Zelda month! Regardless, I'm kinda feeling like it wasn't a wasted month and I'm attributing that to that fact that I haven't monitored anything... kinda like not studying for a test, passing would be great but failing would be totally understandable.
Hope everyone is well!!
Jan 20 2010, 05:54 PM
Good luck, Christine! Here's hoping for a Zelda month! :-)
Michelina, what about, "We'll see what the cards hold" to people's inquiries...leaves the door open but also sort of suggests that you are leaving it up to fate/perhaps not actively trying (even though you are). Or "We'll see what the fates say." Doesn't force you to lie and say you don't want kids, but doesn't actually open the door to further conversation.
Those moments suck so bad. I remember the month before I conceived, coming to work for the first day back at school and discovering another teacher was 3 months pregnant. I had two or three people come up to me, asking if I would be next...devastating and frustrating. I'm never going to ask another woman AGAIN if she plans on having kids. EVER. If they bring it up, fine. Otherwise, it will never be a question I ask.
Last night Ponyo was moving like a little tornado...today I freaked out because he barely moved at all...even though What to Expect says it's normal to go days without feeling movement at this stage.
Of course when I got home from work and ate dinner, he started moving again. Made me breathe a little easier. I am already completely attached to him...scary and amazing at the same time.
Jan 21 2010, 07:55 AM
Zelda, thanks for those suggestions. I actually think I said "I'm not sure we'll have children." And to Mr M that was too open to interpretation. That was his concern. I think in future I'll say something like "When we are ready to make that decisions, we will see if that's in the cards." That also buys us some time!
Cristine, I am hoping you had a Zelda month too!
Jan 21 2010, 02:28 PM
I'd also like a Zelda month, and I hoping for one for both Cristine and Michelina. Heck, one of has to get knocked-up sooner or later!
How many days past ovulation are you both? I'm 6DPO, and it sounds as if we're pretty much in sync for this cycle.
Zelda, it sounds like little Ponyo is a dancer. Do you talk to him? Do you think his movements are in response to anything inparticular?
Welcome Nickclick! I'm not really in a position to offer any advice on conceiving - bitter and thwarted soul that I am - but I would second the recommendation on 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' (even though I feel like setting fire to my copy at the moment - "consistent luteal phase" my ass!).
Jan 21 2010, 03:25 PM
Funny, I probably had no place giving nickclick advice either considering how pissy I am about this whole thing right now!
Nice hearing from you, hope all is well! I wasn't tracking this month so I don't know when I ovulated but it was either Monday or Tuesday I believe, so I'm only 2-3 DPO. I would say my chances this month are unlikely but after all these months I have thrown the word "likely" out the window!
Here's to a Zelda month for all!!
Jan 21 2010, 03:39 PM
I do talk to Ponyo! I sing to him, too in a lousy voice. :-) I'm also writing him letters.
Oh, I have terrible gas today, intrespersed with Ponyo dancing. Difficult combination!!!
Jan 22 2010, 10:08 PM
Ok so a good friend of mine told me today she is pregnant. She has a 5 year old & a 7 month old, she didn't want to get pregnant, but she's happy. Kind of a depressing day for me but I showed nothing but excitement.
Jan 23 2010, 07:22 AM
Ugh, Cristine, that's the worst! I'm so sorry...damn, hated hearing that baby news when I was TTC. And it just seemed like it never stopped. It's the age group we're in. I am hoping you will be able to join her with good news soon.
I had a little freakout last night. Even though I had felt Ponyo move earlier in the day, I'd hardly felt him at all at night. I called the nurse, who told me to drink something with caffeine or some orange juice and rest and be still and to call back if I didn't feel him move within the hour. I got so scared!
I drank some RC Cola (first caffeinated soda in months, and I couldn't even enjoy it because I was so nervous), and sat in the living room, resting on couch. Twenty minutes later he started moving and continued to move a LOT all night. He was making up for lost time, I guess, because he kicked so hard at one point I actually felt it on the outside which I hadn't been able to do yet.
He's still quite active this morning...I'm relieved, but it is scary when you don't feel them for a while and start imagining all the worst case scenarios (even though they are so rare).
I don't think it helped that I was super bloated and constipated (sorry TMI) these past two days, which the nurse said could make it harder for me to feel him...I'd been eating too much because we had all these snacks and things at work in the faculty lounge.
Anyway, I feel much better today, especially since he's been so active this morning, but phew! Kind of a scary night.
Jan 23 2010, 07:35 AM
Just popping in to reassure zelda...I had many a freakout like that during my pregnancy. After awhile I just tried to accept that I was going to freak out from time to time and just try not to let the fact that I was freaking out bother me too much (if that makes any sense). It also helped me to remember that they have quieter days too, so sometimes it was just little dude chilling out. (I had a number of stern conversations with my belly in which I informed Henry-to-be that he needed to move a lot because mama gets freaked out easily.) That said, I always feel like it's better to get a little freaked out and have it be nothing than the alternative.
Jan 23 2010, 12:03 PM
Zelda, I'm glad everything is ok with Ponyo! And it's completely normal to be worried about that!
So my friend (who is also 32) sent me an email this morning apologizing and she's so sad for us at how long we've been trying and she didn't know how I'd react to her news. All well meaning, I'm sure. But then she also had to mention that I shouldn't stress because then it will never happen! Seriously, how many times do I have to hear those words?!!!