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datagirl, your post is the only thing I kow about you, but to me you sound like someone who could totally have a baby on her own: you clearly have your shit together more than most people. And forgive me for saying so, but your ex sounds like a piss-poor father to be: the child is likely better off with you doing the rearing yourself.

My sister (a BUSTie if there ever was one) is 37 and was ready to have her baby alone until her guy came crying back. Still she's aware that he's unreliable and is prepared for a sola act if need be. She just tipped us off to two incredible vids: The Business of Being Born and Orgasmic Childbirth.

Shenomad and I have decided to start trying (this is the first place I'm saying so--eek!). She's on folate and we're both ramping up our fitness to include daily 5-7km power walks, pilates, and kegels. We watched the first vid and were really relieved to find so many people felt about hospital births the way we did. The trailer for the second one made our eyes pop out.

I'm soooooo excited, I just hope 40 years of industrial disease hasn't left me with insufficient swimmers!

Sending out conceptive vibes to all those who are trying!
Datagirl, welcome and congrats on the pregnancy. You sound like someone who will make the right decision for herself regardless of what the man in/or out of her life has to do with anything. Best wishes to you and stand strong in your convictions and your decisions. Do what's right for you and everything else will fall into place.

Thanks again to everyone who has said such lovely and supportive things to me in my most recent failed attempt. I am having my ups and downs but am doing ok overall. Mr. F. is being his amazing self. He is so convinced that we will end up pregnant on our own anyway, that he's very nonplused about my decision to take a break from the invasive aspects of our TTC journey. If only I was that optimistic ... then again, I fear for him that the optimism may make him less willing to consider actually taking steps toward adoption until we're 50! For now I'm going to try not to worry and at least enjoy the rest of the summer.

Michelina, I'm glad the doctor's appointment went so well and that you have a 'next step.' Mr. Fookie partakes in the odd doobie (why does that word always make me laugh?) but our doctors were more concerned with the fact that he was drinking 2-3 drinks/day. He cut everything down as soon as he heard their concern. With the alcohol the concern was more about toxic load and the fact that the 2-3 drinks per day average was only b/c he didn't drink more than one most weekdays. They definitely prefered that they be evenly spread out rather than piled into the weekend.

Zelda, I think your plan about letting Mr. Z. take care of business while you're away is a good one.

I will now go enjoy a second glass of wine and a bath. Not being pregnant does have some advantages smile.gif

Take care everyone.

I love this forum. Thank you to all Busties that replied.Fookie,Tommynomad,fellow aussie Ananke (hey there girl!),Zelda,Michelina. ThankYOU!!

TOmmynomad, Thanks for giving me reassurance. I really don't know if I can go this alone as I've never done this before and haven't any real experience with babies.I just feel that this is the right time for me.I just know that when the moment of truth arises I'd be stepin up to the plate.But yeah I do feel that I have my shit together.tentatively.But there's no other way to be I guess.

Ananke,I found out that with family assistance and the Tax part B that i could get something like $960 a fortnight? I only did a quick assessment online though so am not sure if this is correct or if I'd even be elligable for the tax benefit.Still if this is the amount that I'd be getting (hypothetically speaking) I could live on this.But have no idea how much babies cost.I live very frugally now though.

Yesterday I called a 24 hour pregnancy support line and spoke to a very wise older woman.Which was just what I needed.
The support line was non religious which was also very important to me.Here in Australia when John Howard was prime minister he gave something like $3 million dollars to so called 'pregnancy support lines'. These lines were anti abortion and religiously biased.Just another example of a conservative government.But it seems that since Labour PM Kevin Rudd got in that these lines are still operating.Perhaps many politcal parties are just as conservative as each other.(end rant! LOL)

So anyway.The woman advised me to stop thinking of the father so much and expecting him to change.She advised that I'm to think more about myself and not to be so swayed by the actions of others.She said it was pointless to expect him to do anything and to start finding out how much financial support I can get from the government.
She was a no nonsense sort of woman.Strong and there for me.I felt alot better when I got off the phone.I can call the suport line anytime and talk to women who know a shit load about pregnancy. So I've saved it to my phone. The advice was similar and reassuring to what you guys have advised me.But it was just nice to talk to someone on the phone.
I'm still afraid to tell my family especially my mum.I'm afraid she won't be supportive and it would never cross her mind that I can do this by myself.And her attitude will upset me.But I have been wrong before.

But on a lighter note..Does being pregnant give you guys really vivid dreams? Like really colourful go on and on and on dreams that wake you up feeling wonderful? I had a house boat,aquarium,musical jam dream.I have good dream taste too as the boat was decorated like a 70's cruise liner!! Lotsa green and orange and shag carpeting,wallpaper and fish that had parrot faces.Not to mention horny dreams too!.No wonder I'm going to bed at 10:30 everynight and sleeping like a log!
That's good with the govt payment datagirl, and there's the baby bonus as well. That's great that the support line was supportive and practical. Damn little johnnie and his shit, but at least there are support lines there.

Today I got pooped on (she was on the fucking changetable and STILL got me with the rocketpoop) AND she puked all over the couch and herself. I'd just made breakfast and decided to change her before I ate (stupid idea I know) and she pooped everywhere. Once I'd done minimal cleanup and bathed her and clothed her breakfast was cold. So I put her down on the couch and reheated my porridge and made a new cup of tea and came back to puke puddle with a rather bemused and unhappy baby in the middle of it. So she got a second bath AFTER I ate. In the middle of that the guy came to look at the insulation.

Also, if anyone is interested, I finally transcribed my pregnancy journal and I've put it up at - i'm trying to do a photo a day as well.

As far as baby costs, pregnancy is pretty pricey even with medicare (unless you've got a healthcare card?). Babies? It's mostly the care aspect, the not working bit. The ongoign costs (nappies/water bills/clothes) are easy enough to be frugal with.

Now I must go, boobs are full and hurty. I'm scared I'm getting a blocked duct.
Datagirl, so glad you found some good support. I hope that telling your mom goes better than expected.

Anake, I hope you don't have a blocked duct! That sounds painful. Being a mommy definitely sounds like a lot of work! I think I sometimes forget that parenting isn't all about watching a child grow and develop. You really get your hands wet... literally! :-)

Zelda, all my GP really said is that pot can "affect things" and that being off of it for a month is good enough for an accurate analysis. Fingers crossed.

Hi everyone! Iíve been following this blog for so many months that I feel like I know all of you! This is the only blog I like, I hate all the other ones Iíve been to! My husband (32) & I (31) have been trying to get pregnant for 2 monthsÖ I know, I know, thatís not that long! But just like Zelda & Michelina have said, I really believed that a penis walking into the room was all it took! This process is quite different than what I imagined it would be and Iím just afraid of how many months of frustration & disappointment might be ahead of me.

My first month I really didnít know my cycle or the process, our method was just having sex around the time that I believed I was ovulatingÖ I even tested at day 21 of my cycle! Now thinking back I believe my cycle is 30 days, not exactly like clockwork but maybe 29 or 31 days so definitely in that range. Well, in my first month of trying, my cycle was 33 days! That is just not too likely for me! Now Iím in month 2 and Iím 38 days into my cycle!!! Still negative pregnancy tests and no period! This is just crazy and I donít know what could possibly be affecting my cycle so dramatically. Next month Iím going to try the OPK & see how that works for me, but I just really felt like I always knew when I was ovulating. So of course that freaks me out and I start to question our fertility! First Response has fertility tests that I keep talking myself out of buying since itís only been 2 months, but if the OPK doesnít work Iím definitely going to want to buy the fertility test.

Anyway, you ladies are so great & genuinely supportiveÖ and REAL! For those of you who are also TTC, I really wish you all the best!!
Woah! Board explosion! I love all the new members and am glad you're here.

Michelina, thanks for the info on the pot smoking. I try to make myself feel better in that Mr. Z is not a big drinker or cigarette smoker and he's within a healthy weight and has a decent diet. So perhaps the pot being his only vice will be balanced out with everything else. We'll see after he gets a SA. I hope to convince him to go while I'm gone.

Cristine, welcome. Have you heard of the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"? It's super helpful in terms of explaining cycle length and ovulation. Are you coming off hormonal birth control? This could affect your cycle for a bit until it all gets worked out.

Ananke, what is up with your blocked duct? What can they do for it?

As for me, I am on CD 7, so still pretty far from ovulation time. I went and got some new OPK strips, the Answer brand. They're cheap, and even though they don't give you the fucking smiley face like Clearblue Digital, I like how they show the build up of the LH, so you know you're getting close. I'm going to start using them this weekend.

Michelina, how's the move going? All done?
Oh, and PS...can I, an American, say how totally jealous I am of all Australian, British, and Canadian BUSTies with your government health care and support? Argh! It is OUTRAGEOUS how the health care system works in this country. Very depressing.

Datagirl, keep us updated. You sound like you are really on top of things. Let us know how it goes with your mom!
Thanks... I've heard you guys mention that book, I think it's probably time to look into it. I just wish I would start already because my body is confusing the hell out of me right now!

And yes, as an American I'm quite jealous of those countries that get so much from their government! The insurance through my employer sucks to say the least!
Oh and in answer to your question Zelda, no I was not on birth control.
So my plan to increase my positive thinking hasn't gotten off of the ground yet. I've been pretty blue over the last 24 hours. Yesterday I found out a couple that we know is pregnant- she is almost through the first trimester. I knew they were trying and they know we're trying (my husband let the cat out of the bag- argh). I am so fucking bummed out and I also feel guilty about being bummed for myself instead of being happy for them. This really sucks. We does it seem like everyone else gets pregnant so quickly? I don't get it. Does anyone have any anecdotes about couples that took a little longer to conceive? I know what the literature says but it doesn't seem possible from the stories that I'm hearing. I hate having to worry about this bullshit- I hate TTC!!! Thanks for allowing me my moment.
I have one friend that tried for 6 months and was concerned. Funny because at the time I wasn't TTC so I just kept telling her to be patient, now I'm bugging her on month 2! Anyway, she got pregnant naturally and has a beautiful baby girl! Sorry, I don't have recollection of anyone who took longer... only 3 of my friends have babies so far and 1 of those was by IVF after 1 year. How long have you been trying?
yumyum, I have one friend who it took 6 months, one friend it took 7 months, another friend of a friend who took 9 months...then there's my aunt who took a year. Also, a coworker of mine who was 25 and it took a year exactly. Her doctor told her this is still very normal, and he had many patients who took up to a year if not a little more.

My BFF took a year (she was 38).

Michelina has quoted a book here that says for women in their 30s, 7 to 10 months is average (meaning, some a little less, others a little more). What To Expect says the average 25 year old takes 6 months...again, some 25 year olds take more others less.

Bottom line...a LOT of people take more than 6 months, especially if they're over 30. I hope this helps. I know it helps me to think about this.

My GYN said the great majority of couples will be pregnant after 18 months of TTC naturally. I know that seems like an awfully long time, but overall the odds are in your favor.

I know how you feel about thinking everyone else is PG. I've had that happen, too. My husband's best friend and his wife "weren't even trying" and she got pregnant less than a year after they were married. I was so jealous, I cried the night I heard that news.

It *is* so hard...but the only thing you have to keep reminding yourself of is the odds are in your favor and there have been some amazing advances in modern medicine that can also help.

Cristina, hope you like TCOYFertility. It's an awesome book...since you haven't been on BC, are you saying your cycles have been pretty normal up until recently, or were they always a little wonky?

Cristine- we've been trying (officially, with charting) for 5 cycles- this month will be our 6th month. There were a few months last year that we didn't try not to get pregnant, know what I mean? But then we stopped because I changed jobs. Thanks for telling me about your friend- it helps to hear about others' experiences. Have you tried charting? I found it really interesting when I first started- it can tell you a lot about your cycle. I second zelda's recomendation of Taking Charge of Your Fertility- I checked out a copy from the library and renewed it several times- it's that informative!
I wish I could figure out how long Mr. Z and I have technically been "trying." We been having sex without birth control for 7 months. The first month, we had sex once during what I think was my fertile window, but I can't be sure. We were back from an overseas trip and everything was wonky. So I don't count that.

The second month we really "tried" we started having sex on CD 14, and I got my period on CD 27. Looking back with my knowledge now, I can see I most likely ovulated on CD 12 or 13, so we missed that window.

The following five months we have been on target (I know) because I've either temped or used OPKs.

So I like to say we've been trying for about 6 months...even though I feel we only definitely got our timing right 5 times so far.
zelda- thank you for all of the ttc lengths! I only know one couple who took longer (7-9 months, I'm not sure exactly). Everyone else either says it happened right away or they weren't even trying. Nonsense I say! The stats also make me feel a bit better. I'm 30 so it makes me feel better to hear that the average ttc is 7-10 months. I think we are still planning on going to the OB/GYN if it doesn't happen after this cycle. I think for our particular situation, a SA at this stage would be justified and I think I would like to have my thyroid checked. Ok, I feel myself pulling it together. Thank you!!!
Zelda, I have been pretty consistent at about 29 - 31 day cycles... but then again I was never officially tracking, I just remember landmark events happening when I was on my period. I can tell you every New Year's Eve, remembering back to 2005, I have been on my period! In high school I had no cycle pattern whatsoever, but that's been a long time!

yumyum, by the way that friend at 6 months was either 31 or 32 at the time and my IVF friend was 31 but her husband was considerably older. I haven't charted yet, cuz I was dumb enough to believe that when you take off the condom it's baby city!!! So yeah now I'm going to start that, but it seems so hard when my 30ish day cycle went to 33 in the 1st month and now 38 in the 2nd month! I really wish I knew what was going on with my body!
Wowsers, board explosion is right! Welcome Cristine, and glad to see folks chatting away....

Cristine, I second (or third, or whatever we're on now) the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book. A lot of times ovulation can be delayed due to stress, illness, other stuff, which could explain the differences in your cycle lengths. No matter what's going on, it's really cool information to learn about yourself and your body. If you're interested in charting, I would recommend using the charts on Fertility Friend (which is free for the basic service). To each her own though...for some people the charting becomes more stressful, while others love the charting. I personally enjoyed the charting because I felt like I had a good handle on what was going on with my body. Plus, since my GYN had diagnosed me with polycystic ovarian syndrome when I was 19 (which led to my being on the pill until I was about 32 and decided I'd had enough of hormones) I liked that reassurance that I was actually ovulating.

Times "trying" until conception are so variable. I have a number of friends for whom it's taken awhile...I think my best friend from high school took about a year for her first, maybe about 4 months for her second. My currently preggo friend had no success after a year and was basically told that she and her husband should do IVF if they wanted to conceive. They decided they didn't want to do those procedures (too invasive for them) and that if they didn't have kids, it wasn't in the cards for them. Then about two months later she got pregnant.

yumyum, I think getting your general health checked out (thyroid, hormone levels, overall checkup to make sure everything's healthy) is actually a very good idea. My doc did a workup for me before we started trying to conceive. If you haven't tried for long (most people say anything less than 12 months if you're under 35, anything less than 6 months if you're 35 or older) a lot of docs are reluctant to get into the more complex testing and/or sperm analysis.

I have to say, I had a few months where I went a little bananas with trying to find the key to getting pregnant. I started drinking green tea to improve my cervical fluid, cut down on most caffeine and alcohol (because supposedly they can reduce fertility), started eating a serving of full-fat dairy every day (because skim or low-fat dairy supposedly reduces fertility as well), started putting wheat germ on my cereal (for the folic acid and the vitamin E) and tried to figure out how to sneak wheat germ into my husband's food (because the vitamin E supposedly helps sperm). I bought the pre-seed lubricant, tried to exercise but not excessively, blah blah blah.

I'm not sure which pieces (if any) ultimately helped - well, I never actually succeeded in sneaking the wheat germ into my husband's food, and I was out of pre-seed the week we conceived, so it wasn't either of those - but it finally happened. I know it is so hard waiting for it to be your turn. God, I remember hearing about friends or relatives having another baby and despairing that it was never going to be me. It just sucks and I wish I could make it un-suck for all you TTC'ers. I am glad that y'all have this community here for support. Rainbows flying out your butt optional. ;-)

datagirl, I have been all about the vivid dreams since the beginning of my pregnancy. Interestingly enough, none in which I meet the baby yet (so, no dreams about whether baby is a girl or boy). This week I dreamed I was with my dad in the backyard of my parents' house, which had grown into a field filled with strawberries, and there were ripe berries everywhere. Luckily, not too many bad dreams yet.

Today I've had headaches off and on all day. I'm hoping this doesn't mean anything bad. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow afternoon for my 20-week appointment and ultrasound (woo hoo!) so I will ask her about it then. I've also had some leg cramps that are a bitch. Basically wake up feeling like I spent all night clenching my leg muscles. It gets better after I move around, though, and I read that leg cramps are a common symptom during pregnancy. Someone suggested it might be low potassium so I may try stocking up on bananas and see if that helps. I'm also trying to be better about eating regular meals (last night I think my blood sugar crashed a bit and that may have been the start of the headache) and drinking plenty of fluids.

ananke, thank you for sharing your online diary! I love the "picture a day" feature...she is a really gorgeous girl. Also love the pic of mr. A holding her in the sling. Awwwwwww! Oh yes, and I'm a big fan of that "my dad's a geek" onesie...we bought one for a friend's baby last year.
On the how long trying thing - One friend was 1 year for her first, 6 for her second. Another was 3 years for her first, 1 year for her second (with fertility drugs both times).

As for healthcare - i've got private insurance and i went with an obstetrician rather than GP/midwife and a friend of mine was horrified at how much it cost. All up it was about $2k including the premiums for the year and the birth and Fallon's healthcare afterwards...

Today is a bit better, but mr A is home so he's changing most nappies. We've got a running joke about night terrors - basically a Simpsons quote, from the episode where Bart and Homer are tied together and they're at school when Homer falls asleep and starts screaming about cobras and Bart says 'Night terrors ma'am'. She does that little squeal scream thing so we're constantly telling her there are no cobras, or that she's dreaming about cobras. But she just smiled in her sleep so Mr A was all 'awwww you're having good dreams sweetie! No cobras!'
I just found out that the part time job I was going for went to someone else. I was planning to work for as long as I can.That's got me bummed a little. But hey the woman at the agency thinks I'm cool so she's going to call me early next week if anything comes up but untill then I'm just going to have to keep trying to find a job.

I went food shopping today and me being the hippy I am took the enviro green bags instead of pushing a trolley (which is weirdly against my principles or maybe because I've never needed one) but today I felt so fuckin exhausted. The next time I'm going the trolley option even if it's only for a 2litre bottle of milk!! I'm also phobic of carrying heavy things after today AND I'm getting phobic of drinking coffee.But I only drink one cup per day and it's the itallian expresso heat on the stove kind.Even so I've read lots of conflicting stuff about coffee or the caffiene in it being really bad for a developing foetus.One book I read said that 1 cup per day is the same as running for a bus. I get really bad head aches if I don't have a cup though.So I'm not sure what to do...

The Daddy and I had a good long talk yesterday.It went well and we're going to take things really slow as starting being friends first.He told me that he's been really upset about our massive fight we had on Sunday.I just let him know what I intend to do and what my plans are and that I am prepared to have the child alone.I said that the reason why we fight is that I'm expecting him to change into someone who doesn't exist.I really need to gain a little exceptsnce as he is a good guy at heart.He said that he wants to be there for me and the baby.But we'll see.

Ananke,yeah we are lucky here in Australia. And I forgot about the baby bonus!!! Wooohooo!! What's it up to now? $5-6000? I've also made your blog a fav on my laptop.Your little girl is absolutley gorgeous!! I'll look forward in reading it when I get some time.Great idea though.When I'm past my first trimester I might start a blog as well.

Julie124 Strawberries!! That's fantastic.Did you eat any of them? It's really interesting what you mentioned dreaming about the sex of the baby.I'd love to have a dream like that.I wonder if it's some sort of clairvoyency? That is very cool though.
Hello all.
I was ttc for 2 months before finding out I was pregnant in January, but then I miscarried in March and weíve been trying again ever since. Iíve been lurking around here since probably December or something and have found it so helpful to read your stories and feel that it has helped me along to (tacitly) read othersí experiences in the midst of my own disappointment. Although at least I know it is technically possible for us to conceive, and this is a great relief in many ways, the fact that I miscarried makes each monthís periodís arrival extremely painful as it brings back the grief for my first little one and makes me feel so cheated. Also, even though we feel like weíve been ttc for 8 months, we can only really count the last 3 or so post-miscarriage, which is frustrating in terms of planning to get help if necessary later.

Iíve been charting my temp and other physical signs since my D&C and Iíve found this process really interesting and empowering. However the best advice I had in terms of this (from my mum, actually, who charted for ages trying to conceive me!) was to remember that of course the charting itself doesnít actually HELP you get pregnant! Itís having sex at the right time that does. Itís easy to start to feel that you DESERVE to get pregnant each month because youíve been so dutiful and virtuous. Hopefully having sex at the right time AND charting will soon pay off!

The main reason why I have jumped in and actually posted here today though was to re-recommend the video tommynomad mentioned: Orgamsic Birth. A good friend of mine who is about 17 weeks along lent it to me this week and I absolutely LOVED IT. See it if you can (although it made me cry a lot about not being pregnant...). The website has some wonderful birth stories on it. Itís really all about blissful birth Ė the orgasmic bit can be a bonus for some!

And also, in the bizarro websites thread I found this amazing site with photographs of cervixes at different times of the menstrual cycle. Now I think I would have to be ttc for lots more months before attempting to photograph my cervix each morning, but I found this incredibly enlightening. I donít think I have ever seen images of the cervix before, only cross section type drawings in books and the rest was left to my imagination. I think this is a wonderful resource for trying to get your head around what your body is actually doing in the different phases of the cycle. Sorry for the cross-post but I think this is a great resource for those trying to conceive.

I wish you all the best Ė tommynomad, zelda, yumyum, cristine, fookie and michelina, Iím right there with you. The balance between trying to get the timing (the diet, the activity etc...) right but not trying so hard so that you become anxious and mentally unwell is, I think, a near impossible one.
datagirl, such great advice has been posted here. Busties do rock! I'm so glad things are calmer with the daddy now.
Those with tiny little ones Ė ananke and eyelet Ė glad to hear things are improving. Iím glad you still post here to let us know how itís going.
Julie, good luck with your ultrasound and midwife appointment today - look forward to reading your update. My next midwife appointment is in 3 weeks as is my ultrasound. It will be 2 months since my last one and it feels strange not to have been checked on for a while. I hope everything is going OK in there! I bought an AngelSounds fetal doppler, so have been able to listen to the baby's heartbeat this week, which has been quite reassuring. I'm 18 and a half weeks now, and while I don't have a bump as such, I have a hard lump that I can cup between two hands and which seems to move positions between morning and evening. Julie, I also have had headaches, and like you I think they are blood sugar level related. I am getting better at carrying snacks and water now, and make sure I eat something at 4PM everyday, as this seems to be my prime headache time. I've also had not quite leg cramps but jittery legs at night time, plus a new thing - having to go to the loo in the middle of the night. This might just be because I'm drinking so much water to avoid headaches!

Datagirl, congratulations on your pregnancy! My cousin and a very good friend have had babies without being with the father, one with the father not involved at all, and are amazing mums with lovely children. They've both either had the involvement of family or friends as support, and while it hasn't been easy, I know that both are far from sorry at the way things worked out!

Welcome Cristine and Ellen. Ellen, I'm so sorry to read about your mc. To all the TTC folk, my thoughts are with you, and I'm hoping that a month very soon will be your month.
I drank coffee through most of the pregnancy - none of the studies done have been particularly reliable.
Ellen, so sorry about your miscarriage. As well as grieving your loss, I can see how it must be frustrating that you will have to "try" longer before any help can be sought because it technically has only been 3 months. Hopefully you will get pregnant again soon. Your mom's advice is great. It's a good reminder that no matter how much paraphernilia we have (pre-seed, thermometers, charts, books), it really is the sex that creates the baby! Thanks for the links - I'll check those out. Glad you have joined us.

Cristine, welcome! I'm also 31, and Mr. M is 32. My cycles got a little wacky at the beginning of TTC too. Things seem to have stabilized a little although as you know, my luteal phase is still concerning me a little. In my third month of trying, I didn't ovulate until day 23! That was unheard of for me. Like the others have pointed out, many things can change your cycle. And keep testing. It is possible you are pregnant, just not getting a positive. I met someone in person recently who didn't get a positive until 2 months in. Crazy! If not pregnant, I hope your cycle will normalize soon.

As far as time to conceive, my friends are all over the map and represent the extremes pretty much. Many got pregnant on the first try and some took two years or more. Only one person got pregnant in the 6 to 9 month window.

Datagirl, I'm glad to hear the talk with the Daddy went well. You were open and honest with him, and it sounds like he took what you said well.

Ananke, I am always confused about the caffeine thing. I try to cut down to one cup per day after ovulation, but am frustrated that no good studies have been done on the issue.

Zelda, Mr. Z having an SA while you are away sounds like a good plan. I will be so nervous when I am waiting for Mr. M's results. But I really do just want to know either way. Mr. M is feeling a little stressed about it, and about TTC in general. How is Mr. Z feeling about having it done? Oh and the move is over and went very well. It's so nice to have more space! Our doctor suggested we have sex in different places to mix it up a little and have fun while TTC. We have plenty of rooms to make a baby in now! :-)

Julie and Jenny, you two are getting far along! Julie, good luck with the ultrasound today. Are you planning to find out baby's sex? You probably mentioned, but I forget now.

I temped today and it was elevated so I think I ovulated on day 15 or 16 this month, which is a little earlier than my usual 17. I still haven't received my OPK's in the mail so I feel a little lost this cycle. I think we'll have "just in case" sex tonight just in case. But I felt like I was ovulating on Tuesday so I am pretty sure it's over. If I get my period this month, I want Mr. M to have his SA over the last week of July. We're going on a holiday the following week so I think the timing is perfect. Either way - good news or bad - we'll be doing something fun.
Thank you all for the kind words and advice!

Julie, I also believe that IVF is just not for me because the ethical issues of my frozen eggs being left overÖ I would end up using all of them and having way too many kids! wink.gif Though I admit that I might consider it if I find out that I canít conceive naturally. However Iíve always liked the idea of ďrescuingĒ children through adoption, but nothing tops the idea of me & my husband creating life! Anyway, Iím a coffee person but my husband is a green tea guyÖ I need to cut down more on caffeine, that will be the hardest thing for me to completely break! He also likes wheat bread, Iím assuming that contains wheat germ so thatís good. I prefer white bread but Sara Lee makes ďwhite wheatĒ bread & buns which are very good! I told Mr. C if Iím not pregnant then next month he needs to start taking folic acid too!!

Ellen I am so sorry for your MC. Also, Iím sure that cervical photo website is great but it was just too hard for me to look at!

Michelina, I am on CD 38 but decided to avoid testing today because it is just so depressing having those little suckers yell NO or Not Pregnant at me! I think I should go back to the non-digital tests because not seeing a 2nd line is a much kinder way to tell me that itís not my month. I canít believe someone was 2 months pregnant before seeing a positive! How is their pregnancy going? Well if Iím not pregnant Iím definitely going to have to do the OPK with my cycle going crazy on me!

Ok so Iím having cramps of sorts, for at least a week and Iím trying not to read into it. My boobs are slightly sensitive but not consistently and, again, trying not to read into it. Thatís pretty much the only symptoms. I think I should take another test tomorrow, though I donít want to. If my period is being delayed due to stress, does that mean it will just be late or that I might not have one this month? And if I don't have one, then will I ovulate this month? unsure.gif
Hey Busties, I'm back!

I've been lurking since we got back from Australia, but haven't got around to posting until now. And so much has happened! Congratulations to Ananke and Eyelet! Fallon is too beautiful. Welcome to Datagirl, Tommynomad, Yum Yum, Ellen and Cristine.

Julie and Jenny, glad to hear your pregnancies are going well. Zelda, Michelina and Fookie, I've missed you!

Me, I'm in TTC limbo at the moment. For those who don't know, I got pregnant in March after 5 months of trying, but miscarried at 6 weeks. An ultrasound showed a 'shadow' in my uterus which may or may not be a polyp. I was advised to wait two cycles (without trying) then go back for another scan. At the moment I'm waiting (and waiting... and waiting) for a referral from my GP. I am truly grateful for the NHS, but damn they're slow! It's especially frustrating as I feel like I've been super-fertile since the miscarriage - 3 or 4 days of egg-white every month. If it turns out that there was no polyp after all and these last few months have been wasted I may attack the sonographer with the ultrasound wand.

Oh, and we have to move house this summer too, which totally wasn't in our plans. It's funny how the possibility of parenthood is influencing our choices when looking at new places - how many floors up, whether we could afford the rent with maternity pay rather than my salary etc. I think we may be getting ahead of ourselves a little...
Funnybird! As I said initially, I had been following this post for months before chiming in and I've been wondering where you went! I cried when you had the miscarriage. You seem to be doing much better, try to stay positive & good luck! smile.gif
FUNNYBIRD!!!!!!!!! Woo hoo! I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I am so glad you are back in the mix...I understand how it must feel to have to wait during what you think is a super fertile time. What would be the harm in trying now? I'm confused about why you must wait...I hope you get in soon to the the meantime, I am SO glad you are back here with us.

Ellen, I'm so glad you have joined us, too. I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, but as you know, this is a great board to come for support. You will have a lot of people on this board pulling for you. I will check out the links you posted.

Cristine, thing I learned from Taking Charge of Your Fertility...stress cannot delay your period. It can only delay ovulation. The luteal phase (the period of time after you ovulated until you get your period) is a pretty standard 12 to 16 days for most women. For me, it tends to run around 13 days. What varies is the phase BEFORE you ovulate. Stress can affect that. If you're very stressed, sick, traveling, etc., your body may attempt to ovulate and then give up before attempting again later. But if you confirm ovulation (either by temping or through an ultrasound), then you know your period should arrive 12 to 16 days later.

So every time I was in college and thinking that stressing about my late period would make it more late, it was a waste of time! Once you've ovulated, you will get your period no matter how stressed you are.

It is possible to have an anovulatory (sp?) cycle where you don't ovulate at all although this is not as common as just a delayed ovulation.

Have you been checking your cervical mucus? For me, that is often the best way to tell if I am ovulating. The only way to confirm it is to take your basal body temperature. For me, I tried temping for one month and it was one of the most stressful months ever for me. Since I tend to have very regular cycles, I decided not to temp and just rely on my body cues and OPKs. (A reminder - an OPK cannot CONFIRM you've can only predict that you are probably about to ovulate. Again, only temping can confirm ovulation has occurred.)

Wooh! I wrote a lot there! Seriously though, check out Taking Charge if it turns out you're not pregnant (or even if you are!). It is a remarkable book about the female body.

Fookie, how are you doing? I have been thinking about you, too...I was so down there for a few days, I don't know if I was supportive enough during your rough time. I hope you are hanging in there. I am thinking about you, truly...

Michelina, I hope you got your timing right this month! It would be great/funny if the month you don't use OPKs is the month you get pregnant! I have not approached Mr. Z about the SA, but will after next week (after we are done trying for the month).

Jenny D, it's great to hear about you and your "moving lump" :-) Julie, I hope your headaches clear up. I had to laugh when I read your list of everything you did to TTC. I have done pretty much every single one, too. I do have Mr. Z taking Vitamin C as I have heard that is supposed to help with sperm production!

All right, more later...
I am soooooo glad to hear you say that Zelda! All my friends keep saying that the stress is delaying my period and all I can say is "well I wouldn't be stressed if I would just start already!"... they had me convinced my body & I were working against each other! That temp'ing thing seems tough for me. I believe I remember you saying it was hard because you get up to pee shortly before you actually get up for the day, that's totally me! Plus I have this crazy thing about being covered with layers of blankets & having the A/C on high all night, but I guess if I'm doing that consistently then I would at least have an idea on variance from day to day. Ok I really need to get that book already! I'm testing tomorrow which will be CD 40! And about CM, I had 1 day of EWCM but it was for like literally an hour and then stopped... I didn't care I still ran home after work & jumped on my husband, thinking it was my last chance for the month! But then around 3 days after that I began to get very light & thin CM and it hasn't stopped since then... making it almost 2 weeks now. I have read sooooo many pregnancy symptoms online and of course that's one of them! So I don't know if it means anything or not. Which OPK do you use? I saw on the First Response website that they have a 7-day one & a 20-day one, I'm just wondering if the 20-day is necessary... good to know that it can't tell you for sure. Thanks so much for all your words of wisdom! This truly is a learning experience! wink.gif
Thank you everyone for being so welcoming! I agree that Busties are super people, and everyone has been so supportive! Ellen and Funnybird, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages- I can't imagine what that must have been like.

I'm approaching my fertile time so Mr. Y and I are planning on doing it at least every other night. I'm not temping this month (I ran out of paper charts and Mr. Y doesn't really like the temping thing so I decided to let it go this month). I feel kind of lost about where I'm at in my cycle. Maybe that's not all bad. I did start using OPK yesterday. I don't think it will happen this month- I just have this feeling. Please, wish us luck anyway!
I'm definitely wishing you luck, yumyum!!! smile.gif
Julie, I tried out Fertility Friend and it pulls up a calendar that tells my fertile days. If this is what charting is then yes actually I did do that last month on I had given us an 11 day window because the average cycle is 28 days but I believed my cycle was 30 days, however it was 33 in the previous month... so we just basically had a ton of sex during that time & especially around my most "fertile" day(s). And then when I had my EWCM that one day I realized that would make my cycle the 33 days that it was in the previous month OR I ovulated late. I'll look more around that site to see the other tools that are available in addition to that calendar.

What OPK's do all of the TTC'ers use?
QUOTE(datagirl @ Jul 9 2009, 04:50 PM) *
I went food shopping today and me being the hippy I am took the enviro green bags instead of pushing a trolley (which is weirdly against my principles or maybe because I've never needed one) but today I felt so fuckin exhausted. The next time I'm going the trolley option even if it's only for a 2litre bottle of milk!!

datagirl - I tried that when I was pregnant but trolleys are hard too because you need to use all your core muscles to manoeuvre them! blink.gif Between baskets and trolleys, one is the lesser of two evils! I figure people carry their children around when they're pregnant so in theory these things should be OK... but you do want to wrap yourself in cotton wool, don't you?

funnygirl - you must be feeling SO frustrated. I remember after my mc all I wanted was to be pregnant again straight away (yes, a very emotional response) and I felt so bummed that I had been 'set back' three or four months in 'project babymaking'. To have to wait for referrals and further investigation on top of that must be awful. I'm thinking of you.

Re: stress- last month was a ridiculously stressful one at work, PLUS I got a cold on about CD 12 and had to take some pretty hard core medication. My chart was all over the place and I didn't think I ovulated... We only had sex once just as my temp started to rise a bit but then it fell again. I didn't bother to test. The weirdest thing was that I had REALLY sore boobs for a week before my period and at least a week after. This month my body is behaving itself much more. Feeling positive about this time but trying not to hype it up too much.

cristine, I haven't used an OPK before because I have this (irrational really) resentment that there is such an industry of 'paraphernalia' (as Michelina put it) making money out of women's anxiety... I figured that my body gives me all the signs I need... but I think if I'm not pregnant this month I might be able to overcome that particular attitude and jump on board!

Thanks for welcoming me here everyone! Cristine I hope you get some kind of outcome soon, and hopefully a good one!!!

Good luck & skilful timing to all.
I feel really depressed today.More like a lonely kind of depressed.I guess part of it stems from not getting that stupid job yesterday and the Daddy not contacting me for two days to just see how I am.Instead he just comments about my status on fucking Facebook.

I'm constipated and constantly neaseous yet I'm still having to get off my ass to do house work and food shopping.So yeah I do envy all you together Busties with dudes or dudettes to help you out. Sorry guys but the last week has been hell for me and Ellenevenstar I guess I do want to wrap myself in cotton wool a bit. I just wish someone was here to help me.
Sorry guys I'm just having a pity party over here... Carry on. smile.gif
Ellen, thanks so much for all the good wishes, I wish the same for you & everyone else here TTC. And yeah we'll see if those OPK's really help!

Datagirl, my mom was a single mother and was the best mom I could ever ask for. She and my dad divorced when I was 2, he was a total ass and I probably saw him 2 or 3 times over childhood... he tried to develop a relationship with me when I was 18 and I realized firsthand what an ass he was and was so thankful that I didn't have to grow up in a household with him! I also had a brother who was 8 years younger and his dad was involved on a bi-weekly basis. My mom was my best friend and my brother was a total momma's boy. She died when I was 14 and was the greatest loss we could ever imagine. We had always had great extended families so that helped, but I really wish she was here for me now during this time. Hang in there, you'll be fine! It was heartbreaking over the years to see her feeling down & lonely, but those times didn't even amount to the amazing times!
Datagirl, I hope you are feeling better soon. Just try to give yourself a break on certain things. My BFF was so exhausted during her first trimester, and she just let her house go to pieces and didn't care. It's okay. The good news is I've heard the second trimester you feel a LOT better. Most of her really bad symptoms have disappeared.

To answer the OPK question, I am in the US and use the Answer brand. The cheapest and the most tests for the money (about $18 US dollars for 20 strips). I've also used the Clearblue Digital which is very expensive but gives you a smiley face or a circle (the smiley when you are ovulating). So no guessing about whether or not you have a true positive or not...but they're so expensive I don't use them every cycle.

Ellen, I, too, have a lot of resentment about having to pay for these things...and they're overpriced for what they are. At the same time, after TTC for so many months, I feel like it's worth it for that added security that we've timed things correctly.
Cristine, I agree with ellen and zelda. OPKs are a rip off. When I use them (not every cycle) I buy the cheapest. That's usually the Answer brand. The ones that I just bought today are the Walgreens brand. They were still pricey- 7 for $18. Unfortunately, the cheap ones can be somewhat ambiguous to read and therefore, they can be frustrating (at least was my experience when I first started to use them).

Datagirl, I have a pity party every other day here, so don't feel bad about that. I say let it out and let yourself feel better!
Wow, Ellen. I just went and looked at those cervix pictures and thought that was SO cool! It was amazing and informative. I especially liked looking at the gallery for the 25-year-old's daily pictures. (I think she is the site operator?)

One question on Earth do you TAKE these photos?

Hey, ladies! (I feel like I should be playing the Beastie Boys whenever I say that....)

First, let me get a few greetings out of the way...we have been a busy little board since this morning when I last looked:

funnybird, welcome back! Hope your holiday was grand...I'm so sorry about the slow referral, I know you must want to get the show on the road.

datagirl, I realized I never actually said CONGRATULATIONS on the pregnancy - so, congratulations! Hang in there...there were some times in my first trimester when all I wanted to do was be in the prone position. It really does get better, energy-wise. And it's very natural for mood to be all over the map, so don't be too hard on yourself for having some down days. I find it varies for me - some days I feel just fabulous, and some days I feel like something that was picked off of someone's shoe. The more support you can gather from friends (even ones without kids), the more it will help. And of course you're always welcome to bring the pity party here...we all need to throw one from time to time.

cristine, I'm so sorry about your mom. It sounds like she was a kickass lady and I'm sad that you have to go through this without her. In terms of the charting - I was more referring to the taking of your morning temperatures to detect ovulation. I used to record mine on Fertility Friend because it was easier than drawing paper charts (pain in the BUTT!). The Taking Charge book goes over all that stuff and they recommend combining cervical fluid observations (to figure out when to start doin' it on the regular) and waking temperature (to confirm ovulation and length of your luteal phase).

jenny, I loved hearing about your "moving bump" - it's so weird how some days it's clearly bigger than others, and how things seem to change even within the day.

Okay, now to the fun announcement portion of our program. First, I should tell you that according to the docs, everything looks good and is developing normally. Second, I get to break out the blue, because IT'S A BOY! I have to admit, there was a little part of me that was hoping for a girl, but I am really, really excited and I think it's going to be great fun to have a little boy. And even better, my nephew is just about to turn one, so he'll have a boy cousin not far from his age! It is also really nice to be able to say "he" or "him" instead of "baby" or "it".

Once again, our little guy was less than cooperative for the ultrasound. He just likes to chill, I guess...was moving around a bit but mostly just hanging out. The ultrasound tech was great - she found the evidence of his gender right away, despite his attempts to hide - but when it came time to try to take pictures of the hands and feet, she had to poke my belly a lot and I even tried talking to him to get him to move. (That actually seemed to work, sort of.) Finally he moved enough that she could get a better look at the hands - for awhile he had one hand across his chest and the other on his face. I have to say, it really takes an expert to interpret those ultrasounds....even though you could definitely tell we were looking at a baby, in some of the views she would point things out and I would think, "Where in the world do you see that? All I see is a fuzzy blob." Thankfully she labeled the pictures she sent home with us.

I also figured out why I don't always feel him kick - at one point he turned over so that he was on top of the placenta and kicking the placenta. Yeah, I'm not gonna feel that. He also kicked the ultrasound wand once, which I definitely felt.

Anyway, I am super-psyched and very happy to start working on baby names. My husband wants to start a poll with our friends, though I told him I want veto power. Also, we now have to have the discussion about whether to circumcise him or not. Not sure how I feel about that, honestly.

Oh yeah - doc said the headaches were pretty much par for the course, but to call if I had one that didn't go away with Tylenol. The leg cramps she said sounded like they were also just a regular part of things...nothing to worry about. I am supposed to sleep on my side all the time now (which I've been trying to do anyway). On the way home we stopped at the baby store and I sprung for one of those pregnancy comfort pillows in an effort to make my nights more comfy. We'll see how well it works.

Anyway, couldn't wait to tell all y'all the good news...and I am sending all kinds of good news vibes to all of you, too.

datagirl - hit the vegie shop and buy a shit ton and make soup. It's the easiest thing to eat with the nausea (you can make it as bland or as tasty as you need) and it's nicely energising. The first trimester was really brutal for me and that's what I would have done if it weren't stinking hot at the time. I was so tired and cranky most of that trimester, it's pretty normal. I was even worse towards the end!

Congrats on the little boy julie! That's so awesome!

And welcome back funnybird! i hope the weather wasn't too awful while you were down here!
Aww, thanks for the Ďwelcome backsí. I really did miss you all.

Australia was fantastic, exactly what we needed. We were lucky with the weather Ė a couple of days of rain but plenty of sunshine too. (But then as Brits we may have a slightly different perception of awful weatherÖ)

Julie, congratulations on your boy! It must be lovely to know more about who is growing in there.

To answer Zeldaís question, I was told by the doc at the hospital to wait for two months without trying, presumably so my uterus would be empty for next scan and theyíd be able to tell if it really is a polyp. However, when I saw my GP she seemed surprised that we hadnít been trying anyway. So, I must confess, we did sort of try this month Ė impatience got the better of us! Iím 9 dpo and have no great expectations, except that if I am pregnant the baby will probably arrive before the damn referral letter.

I didnít get on with OPKs, and abandoned them after the first month Ė I got a positive result on every single try! Probably my fault for buying the cheapest ones I could find.

Datagirl, hope youíre feeling a little better today.
Funnybird, welcome back! It's great to hear from you! I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday. Sounds like the polyp question is still a frustrating situation, but it's good to hear you have sort of been given the green light to start trying again.

Julie, congrats on your little man! Great to hear that all went well. Picking names will be fun!

Datagirl, come here any time to share your feelings. You do not have to apologize for the feelings you express. You'll always find support here. I hope you are feeling better today. My mother was married to my father for the first 12 years of my life. However, my dad was really not involved at all in the parenting process. My mother felt she was going it alone - and well, truly she was. My dad just sort of presented himself when it was convenient for him. I guess my point is that even couples don't always coparent. My parents divorced (for a multitude of reasons) and my mom was much better off as a single parent. I think you need to remind yourself that you have the resources and skills to raise your child regardless of the involvement of the dad. If he is involved and supportive, that will be a bonus.

Ellen, I agree with you about resenting the TTC market. A lot of what I see advertised, I really have to question. Like why are multivitamins for those TTC so much more expensive? They get people's hopes up. If it were that easy, it would be a miracle vitamin. I would like to see some evidence that those vitamins increase the conception rate. If someone knows of a study, please let me know! The companies are appealing to those who are desperate for a baby and think, if I just try that other product, then maybe it'll happen.

On the other hand, I do have to endorse the OPK's from Early Pregnancy Tests. I love them because they are cheap, (about $1 per strip) and I can see a gradual build up of lutenizing hormone. For example, 2 days prior to ovulation, my line is faint. The day before it, the line is a definite positive. It has been very successful for me. Of course everyone's body is different and they won't necessarily work as well for others.

How is the OPK thing working for you Yumyum? And Zelda, do you get yours at the drugstore? Here they are ridiculously expensive in the store. I saw 7 strips for $50 the other day! I jokingly threatened Mr M I would purchase them if he gives me more grief about shopping online (which he just teases me about.)
Julie, congratulations!!! One thing I will say about circumcision is that my mom opted not to have my brother circumcised (because she couldnít stand the pain to her newborn baby) but it creates a certain level of maintenance to keep him clean throughout his whole life. I highly recommend you get your son circumcised, but thatís just my opinion.

Michelina, in stores I have seen tests around $30 USD for 7-day, $47 USD for 20-day & $50 USD for Clearblue digital 30-day at (free shipping).

So now Iím debating which test to try because I STARTED TODAY!!!! It happened about 1-Ĺ hrs. after I took a negative test and then in another Ĺ hr. the cramps started. The strange thing is that my cramps actually feel good because itís finally a familiar feeling! So now with my cycle being 33 days in month 1 and 40 days in month 2 (well, technically 39 day since today is now day 1), I have no clue when to start taking the OPKÖ which leads me to believe I should buy the 30-day. And what Iím gathering from everyone is that OPKís donít work for everyone so I canít imagine paying that kind of money month after month. And fertility tests are about $25 so I imagine that is what Iíd buy next.

On a positive note I plan on getting completely tossed at my friendís BBQ tomorrow! I actually imagine an entire week of smoking & drinking before I start trying again! This month has been so long, I really need a vacation from TTC!!
Christine, isn't it funny how sometimes all it takes is a pregnancy test to start your period? I remember one month peeing in a cup (I prefer that method as opposed to peeing on a stick), and I put the cup of pee on the toilet, so I could test it. Then when I went to wipe, my period started. Hilarious. Oh well, at least I didn't waste a test.

Have fun at the BBQ! If you do get OPK tests, I would suggest Answer because you get 20 strips in one test kit and it's usually a cheaper brand (at least here in the US). That way you can start using them on CD10 or 11 and still probably catch your ovulation. I've heard of some women who cut the strips in half to double the amount, but I don't know if that works or if it's recommended.

Michelina, yes, I do buy my OPKs in the drugstore, but they are not that I said Answer is about $18-20 US dollars for one kit (20 strips). Fairly reasonable, but a rip off nonetheless. However, I figure I spent about $15 in birth control pills every month, and since I'm not using those anymore (obviously)...

Julie, congrats on the baby boy! The more I think about it, the more I think I will want to know the gender even though Mr. Z says he doesn't. The thing is, if it is a boy, then we can have the discussion about circumcision earlier on. Also, it becomes more "real" somehow, I think, to know. How fun to start thinking up names!

Funnybird, you *were* missed!!!
I just broke the news to Mr. C beause he was at work so I didn't want to bug him until he called me. I did not expect him to be more devastated than me! Even though my body has now become this grand mystery to me, I guess a woman's body is ALWAYS a mystery to men... so yeah I think he just assumed that 7 days late meant that he "succeeded"!

Zelda, I like the cup idea because I really hate peeing on a stick... especially while still trying to wake up in the morning!! And yeah I saw that Answer is cheaper at Walgreen's so I may just try those. I'm from California by the way. And I have completely lost count of all the tests I've wasted in only 2 months!!!

I firmly believe that at least one of us will get pregnant this month!!!!! wink.gif
Julie- congrats on your news, I have a nephew and he's a lot of fun!

Michelina- I'm on cycle day 13 today and I got negative OPK results that last two days. I still need to test today. I'm not really having much cervical fluid right now so hopefully that will pick up soon. For some reason, I don't have much hope for this cycle. How are you doing?

Hang in there yum yum...those results can become positive very least that's been my experience.

I tested for the first time today, CD9. I tend to ovulate on day 14 or 15. I had a veeeeery faint line, so there's something there. Hope we hit the window right this month...try to stay positive yumyum...I know it's hard. Trust me, I know. So hard to get your hopes up!
zelda- thanks for the positive vibes. I truly hope that this cycle will be the one for at least one of us. Come on already!
Hi everyone!
I'm still hanging out even though I'm not posting as regularly.

Zelda, your words were perfect. You wrote exactly what I needed to read. Don't worry about that at all.

Funnybird! Welcome back. Sounds like your trip was good and well timed!

Julie! Happy boy! There's a part of me that always thinks about how fun a girl would be (not the least b/c the girl name is the only one we've agreed on ... yes we've been talking about names for years!) but the idea of a little boy running around who reminds me of Mr. F. breaks tears to me eyes every time I think about it. I am totally enjoying the first nephew in our family (born last November) he's the most awesome, cheery little creature in town. The circumsision thing is such a crazily personal thing. I would just say, do your research there are a LOT of old wives tales out there that continue to be perpetuated about either scenario. There have been some very sound scientific studies conducted about things like cleanliness, sexual response, and the actual level of pain and stress the baby undergoes during the procedure that will either confirm or dispute any preconceived notions you have. I will tell you that in Canada, doctors generally don't even offer it as an option unless they are aware of religious reasons to do it. There's enough really good info out there for you to make an informed decision you feel good about (I know all this b/c a friend of mine went through quite a tough time making the decision and we watched documentaries, and read just about every medical journal entry on the subject. ha ha.)

Datagirl, I've been throwing myself pity parties every few hours. You're always welcome on the board no matter what kind of party you're having.

So good to see this board so busy. I really enjoy reading about everyone and hope all the TTCers get their positives this month. My heart and hopes are with you.

I still don't know where my brain is. I think I am in a prolonged period of numbness over my slow acceptance that this may just never work for me. I am going between thinking of september as the next IUI month to thinking that I never want to go there again. In the meantime I have thrown myself completely into this budget thing we're doing (living off cash that's parsed off into themed jars weekly). We didn't cheat once this week and managed to carry over $73 despite the fact that Mr. F. is away again, and we had to spend about $50 on gifts. The budget is also allowing substantial debt repayment and savings. I'm thinking of the savings as not only a smart thing to do, but as our "just in case" fund. Just in case I decide to gamble with IVF or we decide to go through with international adoption. In two years we should have enough in the savings to make either of those options a real possibility. So I'm feeling good about that and for now it's really good to have something else to throw my ever waking moment of brain activity on.

I am feeling really down right now. I found out that my very best friend during my school days (albeit no more) is pregnant... through facebook. It makes it worse that I found out that way. I am completely shocked and have to admit I feel really down. I feel like everyone is getting pregnant but me. I just have a referral to a gynecologist pending.

I feel selfish for feeling down. I am happy for her, but just wonder why it seems to happen so easily for everyone else in my life.

I am going for a hot bath before my company arrives. I'll contribute more later. Just need a good cry.
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