Oct 14 2008, 01:49 PM
Hey girls, I've been meaning to post, but it's been tough with my new baby boy!!! He was born on Tuesday by c-section after a failed induction. I was on cytotec for 20 hours with no change in my cervix at all which was attributed to scar tissue from my LEEP procedure. I was in the hospital until Saturday night and the experience was HELL!!! But, my baby is healthy and beautiful and I've never been so in love. Gotta catch some snooze, congrats pink!!! We're hot mamas now!! I have lots of great pics from the hospital but I'm staying at my mom's house to recover and don't have the equipment to hook my digital camera up to the computer so i'll try to post some cell phone pictures later. Hope you all are doing well!!
Oct 14 2008, 06:41 PM
kelly, really glad you and babe are fine, but sorry you had to go through so much stress to find that out!
i thought about the copper IUD but am unsure - from what the family planning nurse said, the reliability is about 98% with the additional risk of miscarriage if you are one of the unlucky 2%. like you, i had a miscarriage and i really don't want to go through that again.
Oct 14 2008, 07:32 PM
beck - theres a really awesome iud forum on here. what kelly says rings over and over throughout it. marina is more effective than tubal ligation but its really bad on those of us who are sensitive to hormones. are you one of us? if not thats prob a good choice. all the girls on there love the copper one. i did. but it didnt work for me. but maybe the universe really wanted me to have this baby.
thank goodness all is well
CONGRATS NAKEDMOLERAT!!! man labour sucks dont it? i'm really happy for you that its all over but he snuggling.
Oct 14 2008, 09:25 PM
omg pink, he's GORGEOUS!!! gorgeous. i want to keep looking at him forever, so cute!
Oct 15 2008, 01:49 AM
Oh darn i didn't do that right... Not sure how to insert my photos...
Anyone able to help?
Oct 15 2008, 05:12 AM
CONGRATS NAKEDMOLERAT! i must've cross-posted with you yesterday (finished post hours after starting it as babe is on a feeding mission)!!. well done! can't wait to see pics!
Oct 15 2008, 09:01 AM
Congrats nakedmolerat! sounds like you have a fabulous little boy to love!
p.s. pics will only show up as links, due to recent trollfest. you will have to trust us to click! can't wait to see the little guy
Oct 15 2008, 12:18 PM
Oh Thank you!!! Pink, I just saw your little guy and he is so cute!! I can't believe how similar our experiences have been. Talk about living in a parallel universe!! hahah Well, in case anyone is interested and because I'm a proud mommy, here are some links to my baby's cell phone pictures. I can't wait to go home and upload the pictures in my digital camera!!! Baby MatthewBaby MatthewBaby Matthew
Okay, here is my birth story:
I go in Sunday night at 1:00 am to be induced. They start me on Cytotec every 4 hours. I was 50% effaced and 1cm dilated. After 3 doses of Cytotec, my cervix still hadn't changed. At all. Even though I was having contractions back to back. Monday rolls around and Dr. gives me some options. I am starving!!! He lets me eat a small meal and a few hours later I decide to do 2 more rounds of Cytotec. I get checked Tuesday morning and my cervix is. still. the. same. I start to cry. I felt so disappointed and hadn't slept because they kept checking on me and the IV makes me pee every 15 minutes and I'm hooked up to all these monitors. Ugh. I feel restricted and anxious. Dr. offers me Pitocin but agrees with me that after 5 doses of Cytotec and still no change, that my cervix probably isn't going to do too much because of the scar tissue. The inside of my cervix dilated to a 3/4, but the outside ring wouldn't budge. We decide to do a C-section. I'm not allowed to have any food or liquids on Tuesday. Finally, they take him out at 3:40 on Tuesday evening. He has a full head of hair and weighs 8 lbs 8.9 oz. We try to breastfeed but with little success. I am so happy to finally hold him because they had only given me a quick peek after taking him out and whisked him away. I am told I'm to be on liquid diet until I pass gas. This proves to be more difficult than I thought. The gas pains were HORRIBLE!!! It seriously felt like the baby's head was still rolling around in there, the bubbles were so big and right by the incision. I *tried* walking (more of a hobble), massage, mint tea, praying, etc. I was so damn hungry and in so much pain!!! Finally I pass gas on Wednesday in the middle of the night, they allow me soft food Thursday morning and real food Thursday afternoon. I was on pain meds, exhausted, been on a liquid diet for almost 4 days, and in serious pain. Breastfeeding was not working out. They were threatening to take my baby to the NICU if his weight loss went any higher and kept urging me to give him formula, especially because he had jaundice. I gave in, crying, and supplemented him with formula Thursday night. The next day a lactation consultant came to help me. She was heaven sent and so wonderful!!! We pumped my milk and fed it through a tiny tube while he breastfed and it made a world of difference. Baby and I are breastfeeding like pros now!! And he's gained twice as much as they expected since they sent me home on Saturday. Doctor came to see me Friday and decided I should stay until Saturday because I was pretty anemic/exhausted/etc. We came to my mom's house to recover Saturday night. The pain from the C-section was worse than I had expected. But it's been a week and I'm up and about with minimal pain meds now.
But now I'm having a new set of problems... Anybody have any advice?
My baby is seriously day/night confused. He is up the entire night- won't even sleep after feedings!!! But he sleeps ok during the day. I'm so exhausted, I've tried everything to get him to sleep at night, but to no avail.
Also, I think he's having intestinal discomfort and I'm suspicious it might be the meds I'm on. Hey Pinkmartyr, I noticed they gave you the same pain meds- have you noticed any effects on your baby? They gave me Percocet, Ibuprofin, Iron, and Stool Softener. I think the Ibuprofin is hurting his tummy so I stopped taking it (it passes through breastmilk and side effects include gas/indigestion/constipation/etc.) But I'm wondering if the iron is also upsetting him? I'm taking 375mg 3 times a day- it's a lot!!
Oct 15 2008, 12:35 PM
Try gripe water for the gas, and eat more iron-rich foods rather than the supplements. You might need to supplement with formula to get the gripe water in (i'm not sure how else to administer a couple of drops)...but the stuff works like a charm. Fennel and chamomile- universal tummy soothers.
You had a good birth! You and baby Matthew are well and recovering and eating and happy and healthy! YIPPEE!
As to the day/night thing...its REALLY, REALLY common. Moxette was AWAKE and AWARE at 2am regularly. We, being first time parents, felt compelled to interact with her...what a dumb mistake. Eventually, after a couple weeks, she started sleeping more during the night. Keep nightitme interaction to a minimum- feed, burp, cuddle in a quiet, DARK room, and eventually, he'll get it. In the meantime- you must sleep during the day while he is sleeping. Dishes and laundry can also be folded at 3am.
Oct 15 2008, 01:19 PM
he's a cutie and he looks so alert! the jaundice made my little girl so dozy we hardly got any pics with her eyes open! really glad you got the feeding sorted out too.
for the gripe water, if you prefer not to supplement with formula, i have some drops for wind that came with a tiny pipette, you might be able to get something like that?
i hear you on the day/night thing - moxie is so right - don't do things during the day, just sleep. and be strict with visitors, don't let them stay too long and eat into your naptime. it will even out in time. babygirl now sleeps much less during the day and for longer stretches at night (from about 1 through till 5ish, wakes for a feed and then back to sleep again till 9ish, so i get two good long stretches of nighttime sleep).
Oct 15 2008, 04:12 PM
oh nakedmolerat, i really identify with your story! particularly all the crying- crying when your cervix doesn't dilate, crying when you have to supplement with formula. both of those happened to me. isn't it miraculous how we tried so many hours to birth, then poof, they come out in like twenty minutes via c-section? congratulations on your lovely baby boy!
i, too, am having a problem with the nighttime wakefulness and crying. Emmet is the sweetest baby all day long. Around ten pm ish, he starts to get fussy, and between midnight and 3am, its a downright shriek fest. nothing seems to comfort him, although he's been changed, fed, burped, cuddled, rocked, etc. i think that he's in some kind of tummy distress, too- although he's pooping just fine, i hear lots of rumbling in his tummy when he's doing all this crying. what you said about the ibuprofen is something to consider. today is the first day i've felt better and have needed less drugs. our pediatrician says that this whole crying at night business is completely normal and sometimes linked to tummy gas. she also said "remember, he's crying because he's crying, not because he dislikes you, and not because you're not doing a good job."
how long does it last?
Oct 15 2008, 06:15 PM
i think in the early days (well, we're still in the early days really, but right at the very beginning) my milk supply hadn't settled so she was taking in big gulps of milk, and lots of air with it. also, i wasn't able to tell hunger cries from discomfort, so sometimes i didn't burp her enough before carrying on feeding, and i fed her on top of the wind which exacerbated it. well, she didn't need rubbing much, just holding upright for a while. she is still shouty in the evenings sometimes, but it's shorter and earlier, so instead of 10pm to 3am, more like the odd half an hour of crying, and it's always over by 1:30 now. it does get better!
Oct 16 2008, 08:17 AM
When we realized I wasn't realistically going to breastfeed, I felt like such a total failure. I called my mom sobbing, and she reminded me that I was bottle fed and turned out just fine, and that making a clear descision that was best for our whole family was a great parenting position.
As to the gassiness- mycelon drops also work, and come with a dropper. For a while, we mixed both the gripe water into her bottle and used the drops. And LOTS of burping. Sometimes, babies just have a disagreeable time of day (or night, as you would have it).
beck is 100% right- it DOES get better. Especially as you and your child get to know each other and such.
Oct 16 2008, 12:20 PM
hey, moxie how far along are you now? how is everything going for you? i was wondering, how much does moxette understand about the new arrival? is she excited?
Oct 16 2008, 12:29 PM
23 weeks. getting nice and rountund. moxette gets that being a big sister is COOL, and that babies are tiny and can't do much, but I'm not sure she will understand it fully until the baby is here. Luckily, my brother's baby is due before mine, so at least she'll be around another baby regularly. She has told me that the baby cannot come to her house. When I told her that the baby will live in our house, that she will be part of our family, I got the "WTF, Mom?" look.
Oct 17 2008, 12:00 AM
Lost mucus plug today....getting closer. first cervical exam, it's soft but not dilated. tomorrow is all about walking and getting this thing moving!
Oct 17 2008, 04:51 AM
eep, things are getting started! good luck!
'WTF, Mom?' -
Oct 17 2008, 11:16 AM
moxie and beck, thanks for the advice! he is actually doing better now. the changes are that i am no longer supplementing with formula (i am making lots of good milk) and am on less drugs (since i'm feeling much better). for the past two nights, he has just been waking for feedings and i have caught up on sleep! keep yr fingers crossed.
kelly, so excited for you! keep us posted. stay focused and confident!
Oct 17 2008, 06:08 PM
yay for sleep! in a way i am sleeping better than while i was pregnant - the sleep is so much more refreshing and even short stints of it feel so good, it's so nice to stretch out or sleep on my back again. and not to get up to pee 5 times a night.
Oct 20 2008, 12:47 PM
i wish i could get some good sleep!!! my baby wants to eat all the time, my little piglet!!! He was up last night from 1 am to 7 am and woke up again around 9. I am ready to pull my hair out!!! I love him so much but I dread the nighttimes. Am I supposed to wait until he gets older for him to adjust his sleep patterns or should I try to keep him up all day? That seems like it would be bad for his development in some way but I don't know what to think...
Oct 20 2008, 09:22 PM
Basically, at the beginning, you can set cues, but not much else. At nighttime, feed in a quiet, dark place, keep the lights on during the day, etc. Eventually, they regulate. Plus, there is a GROWTH SPURT at about 3-4 weeks that make all babies little piggies.
So, had the 24 week placenta followup...let me say, bustie vibes WORK. Sucker has MOVED and is firmly out of the way. YIPPEE!!
Ok, off to bed.
Oct 21 2008, 08:12 AM
yay, congrats on the placenta moxie! so pleased for you! bustie vibes really do work
hey nakedmolerat, i think babygirl switched quite suddenly at around 4 weeks from being nocturnal and feeding every couple of hours, to having longer stretches of sleep at night, it will settle down soon. in my baby book it says it's because in the womb your daytime movements lull them to sleep, and while you are still at night time, they wake up and party, and they stay in that rhythm for a while. i think it helps to not keep things quiet for daytime naps - she and i both sleep soundly through the washing machine spinning and all kinds of racket for daytime sleeps!
hang in there!
Oct 23 2008, 09:52 AM
i keep checking in to see if there is news from kelly...i'm so excited
i am sleepy too today - she had her first jabs on tuesday - she was fine on tuesday and weds daytime, thanks to infant calpol, but grizzly yesterday evening and overnight - she eventually went to sleep at 5am.
totally starting to see the point of pumping too, i wasn't going to bother as i have a long time off work and didn't want the hassle with bottles, sterilising etc. but today, she has had less appetite, i think just feeling a bit under the weather because of the immunisations, and my boobs are still producing the usual amount. i managed to express a little by hand this morning to take off the pressure but it took me ages and was so messy - i am going to borrow my friend's old pump for the next lots of injections in a month. right now i am torn between catching up on more sleep while she naps (i just snoozed for an hour and a half but woke up because of the uncomfortably full boobs) or waking her to feed...dilemma!
Oct 23 2008, 10:11 AM
Per my friend who has BF and pumped for a year...the babies will take whatever you have, even if its RIGHT after pumping. Never, ever wake a sleeping babe! Wait, do you have the pump yet?
Oct 23 2008, 10:16 AM
no, unfortunately, my friend has one i can borrow but for now i am stuck with hand expressing. you're right though, i won't wake her! if the worst comes to the worst i will call on the bf to help me out
Oct 28 2008, 12:08 AM
Well, Matilda was born on October 18th at 23:12 weighing in at 7 lbs 15oz (3.1 kg). She is beautiful and awesome and we are loving getting to know her. It's taken a while to find time to write, what with some feeding issues we've been battling...more on that later.
Sounds like C sections are all the rage on this board! My water broke around 3:30 am Friday morning. I wasn't 100% certain what was going on since I wasn't having contractions. I tried to go back to sleep, but water kept coming. I finally called Labor and Delivery at 6am and they told us to come on in. I woke up the boy and off we went
At the hospital they confirmed that my water did indeed break, so they put me on a monitor for 20 minutes and monitored the baby and my contractions. Baby was doing great but I hadn't started labor, so they gave me the choice to either stay at the hospital or go home to see if I could get things started by walking and moving around. Seth and I opted to head home agreeing to return at 3:30 in afternoon.
By the time we were back at the hospital, there were still no signs of labor. So the doc decided to induce labor using pitocin to stimulate contractions (the rule is that the baby needs to be born within 48 hours of the water breaking to prevent infections and other duress). My birth plan was to ask the nurses to not offer drugs that Seth and I had worked out a "secret" code that I would use if I really really wanted to have and epidural. We began the induction around 5pm that evening gently increasing the dose of pitocin over time.
Well, 15 hours of (painful) labor and 24 hours of no sleep my doc checked my cervix only to find out I had dilated only 2cm (you need to be at 10cm to deliver). It was at this point that I asked for drugs. Since an epidural can actually slow dilation if you get it too early I took a narcotic cocktail to help me sleep in hopes of getting to about 4cm before we did the epidural. Four hours later we were around three and decided to just go for for the epidural. OH MY GOD what a blessing. Finally I was able to sleep. They cranked the pitocin and we were off. We got to about six and could never dialte any further. We tried stopping and restarting the pitocin to see if that would help...still nothing. So we finally had to go with a c-section.
I like to think of this birth story as kind of a buffet of labor options...got to try a little of everything.
Oct 28 2008, 05:23 AM
CONGRATULATIONS! what a perfect little bundle! and well done to you!
Oct 28 2008, 07:15 AM
i have a question related to dilating - i read somewhere recently that if you have a LEEP procedure, healing can cause the cervix to tighten and thus make dilation difficult when you're in labor. anyone hear this also? know anything? maybe i dreamt it....
Oct 28 2008, 08:59 AM
thatgirl...GORGEOUS!! You really did have the labor buffet! While I absolutly adored the epidural, I also found the narcotic cocktail (given for the same reasons) was FUN and moxieman still giggles at the stuff that came out of my mouth while stoned and "sleeping".
You all really do give rise to the mantra I have that a good birth is healthy baby and healthy mama. I'm trying to reinforce this with my SIL, who is a bit idealistic and stubborn about birthing, mostly b/c as a med student, she has seen some horrible treatment of patients in the LD wards of her hospital. But, I'm also praying everything goes wonderfully for her and my brother.
Question for you all new mommas- cloth or disposable diapers? We are big fans of disposable convience, but my SIL and bro are still debating- and they don't seem to believe me when I say that they are both environmentally bad, just in different ways. If cloth, can you share some words of wisdom for how to make it work easy? Thanks!
Oct 28 2008, 09:28 AM
cloth takes energy to launder but it doesn't end up in the landfill and it's WAY better for the baby not to have all those chemicals next to their tender bits. i found i could only consistantly do it when i had a service though, that made it super easy. and when travelling or running errands or at nighttime, a disposable is so much easier to deal with. but during the day, if it's possible for you, cloth cuts down on the plastic ones considerable. it's cheaper in the long run too. and if you buy them the resale value is actually quite high.
kelly, what a little cutie! adorable.
Oct 28 2008, 09:53 AM
Env costs of both, per our research 3 years ago...keep in mind I'm an environmental professional, so I do risk management every day:
Cloth: water, phosphates, sewage, land to grow cotton, petrolem products to harvest and manufacture (diminished if you re-use from another person), transportation energy for services (also diminishable), human energy.
Disposable: chemicals (try to find least chemicaly ones, but the cloth is also bleached, and that is most destructive), petroleum products to manufacture, disposal in landfill. Transporation to landfill is negliglible as other garbage is also being transported.
It was a matter of which evil to choose for us- we went with the later, and early potty training. I will forward your advice to them, though, pepper...it seems very realistic!
Oct 28 2008, 02:30 PM
cloth! they are so cute (i have some gorgeous organic bamboo ones and also thirsties are cute), less heat around the genitals, important for little boys - link to infertility), reusable for future babies, much cheaper in the long run, and babygirl gets less rash from cloth too. and i should add that i have a washer but not a dryer, i just use a heated drying rack and a dehumidifier, works fine - one extra load of washing every 1-2 days, and you do more laundry with a baby anyway. we used from 2 weeks and it really hasn't been difficult - but you need to size up on baby clothes as they don't fit over the big fluffy butttots bots bamboozles
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and we don't truly know the env cost of landfill as disposables have not been around that long - don't think we know how long they may take to break down
Oct 28 2008, 02:46 PM
we use the g diapers, which is like using both disposable and cloth. they seem to work fine and they are compostable.
having many problems with breast feeding. my milk didn't come in and we starved the heck out of baby the first couple of days. I just happened to have an appt with a lactation consultant two days after we arrived home. the night before baby was crying all night and when the nurse arrived and weighed the baby she when into crisis management mode and sent dad out for formula and taught us how to finger feed. our doc then instructed us to bottle feed if necessary just to get the fluids in.
baby responded quickly and was up 3 oz in weight by day two. the problem is that now she won't latch on to the boob and when she does she sucks a bit and then falls asleep. we strip her down to her diaper and try to keep her stimulated, but it's a real battle. taking fenugreek but all the pumping is maddening and I only produce about 1 oz every two hours (on a good session generally it's about 0.5 oz). i think i will continue to work on this for another week or so and then make a decision. if she doesn't want to latch then I'm through.
I didn't have any real expectations for my birth or the breast feeding...or so I thought. I'm just feeling like, damn I can't do anything. no vaginal birth and now she doesn't want the boob....big mom failure. of course I know this is silly talk, but crap, can't a sister get a break?
glad to hear everyone is doing well. will be on Moxie watch for the next few months!
Oct 28 2008, 05:26 PM
ah girl, you didn't fail. you have a healthy baby there and that's terrific. everything else in incidental.
but kel, milk doesn't come in for the first couple of days. mine came on day 3 for both of them, they were just getting a wee teeny bit of colostrum before that. that's totally and completely normal! so is losing a bit of weight in the first couple of days. that's actually supposed to happen.
nipple confusion is a toughy, especially when it starts so young. the only thing i can suggest is to keep on trying for as long as you can, even a little bit of milk still has all those wonderful antibodies and other good stuff. and make very sure that the holes in the fake nipple are Really small so babe has to suck hard to get at the juice. the thing about bottles is that they are easier that way and a baby can get really lazy about feeding.
best of luck mama!
Oct 28 2008, 07:09 PM
kelly, congratulations on your baby, and give yourself a break! i know first hand how hard it is to feed the baby and recover from a c-section at the same time. the first two weeks were really hard for me. i had the same problem with waiting for my milk to come in and baby being hungry. i had to supplement myself. keep trying to get the baby to latch on, and take advantage of the lactation consultants that are available to you. when i was at the same point you are at, i was really frustrated. i still get frustrated, but the nursing has gotten a lot easier! and if it doesn't work out, that doesn't make you a bad mom, and you haven't failed. you have a lovely baby- you grew her and she's in good shape. that's success. take care of yourself! its hard enough without you giving yourself a hard time.
p_176: that happened to nakedmolerat- she didn't dilate past a certain point, which the doctor credited to scar tissue from a LEEP procedure.
Oct 28 2008, 10:34 PM
Pink, glad to hear you did/are experiencing the same thing (typing as i'm pumping) I just hope I can get my production up enough so that she enjoys being at the breast.
Pepper, I know it takes a while for the milk to come in and baby is supposed to loose a bit of weight, but she lost well over a pound in the first four days, which is beyond what is expected...thus the general panic of getting something in her little belly.
If Madonna had had children during her Truth or Dare period, she would totally have worn the contraption I currently have strapped to my tits.
Oct 29 2008, 07:33 AM
kelly- the only failures of motherhood are the ones we don't try. I had a very good friend who had a c-section, tried like the dickens to breastfeed for 3 months and was SO misrable that her husband activly prevented her from doing it any more- the baby was not thriving, knowing his momma was so tense. They were much happier with formula. So was i, for that matter. I felt the same way you did...I couldn't deliver, breastfeeding was just too hard after the labor/delivery/pregnancy in genral- the two things my body is MEANT to do, I couldn't. It was such a feeling of sheer shock at the situation. then, I remembered my friend- who is a wonderful, attentive, attached mother, and I realized that if my whole family is happy and healthy, then i'm doing a good job.
When we decided to do formula, we thought we could be all scheduled and shit (not like the babywise schedule, but that it would be more naturally a schedule), but it didn't happen. Feed on demand, cuddle on demand, and the rest will come. A child will be incredibly attached and bonded to parents who love him or her, despite the method of food delivery.
Oct 29 2008, 03:26 PM
Did you produce much milk? As I'm working on stimulating production I'm wondering how "drying up" process will go. My mom mentioned that docs "give you somehting" to help prevent the process from being painful. I though you just stopped pumping/feeding and it went away. Any thoughts?
Oct 29 2008, 03:57 PM
well, we decided to forumla feed in the hospital- after the labor and delivery, and moxette was NOT interested in the boob, no matter how often and how many times the nazi lactation consultant visited (bitch never told me to pump!), so i didn't deal so much with stimulating production (try guiness beer) then dry up, but my milk DID come in right as we were leaving hosp, so i did have the dry-up period. It was painful, certainly, engorged, etc., but mostly, the c-section narcotics and motrin did the trick. took about 3-4 days. Maybe your mom knows something I didn't? Ask your doc, see if there is anything.
FWIW, we were very happy formula feeding. Moxieman was a very active, fully participatory dad from hour 1, and he was happy he got to keep in that role. Also, we were able to get longer stretches of sleep at night- 3-4 hour blocks, b/c I wasn't responsible for all feeding at night. That can ALSO EASILY be done with a pumped bottle, though...i got the idea from a friend who breastfed all 3 of her kids and pumped about 30-60 min after she put the baby down for the night, then again right before she went to bed...hubby was responble for all baby related activities from say 9pm-1am, and she has 1am to 5am.
Oct 29 2008, 07:19 PM
Thatgirlkelly, I totally relate and I feel for you!!! My baby lost 10% of his body weight at the hospital and the nurses were threatening that if he lost any more weight that he would be kept in the NICU even though I'd be discharged. With a c-section. How was I supposed to get to visit him, I couldn't even drive? Panic ensued and they were trying to get me to supplement (which I did for one night) with formula, and I swear the whole maternity ward probably heard me wailing. I probably sounded like a wounded animal, it was so intense, "I...ccan't..even...taaake caare of my owwn babbby!!! I can't handle this shit anymore i have to get out of here i can't even take care of my own baby this isn't what i wanted i want to die!!!!" And the sobbing was making my incision feel like it was going to rip open, I couldn't even breath, it was the biggest panic attack of my life!!! I felt like a failure and I felt cheated for the c-section (i didn't even get to hold my baby until after they were done stitching me up, i missed out on my boyfriend cutting the cord, and I couldn't even lift my own baby let alone get out of bed to take a piss) and the breastfeeding problems, both things that were supposed to come naturally to me. Luckily for me I got hooked up with a wonderful lactation consultant who is so knowledgable and hosts free breastfeeding groups once a week to help with any issues, and it worked out for me. Besides pumping, you may want to try fenugreek! I had a special tea for nursing moms by Yogi and I think it helped my supply. I know they sell it in capsules also at health food stores. I really hope it works out for you because it's apparent that this is really important to you, but I have to agree with everyone that you and I are not failures because we tried our best to do everything we could in the best interest of our babies and what more could you ask of someone? Especially after such rough labor and deliveries, I think you should give yourself a break and relax. Also, stress can reduce your milk supply, so try to take it easy!!! My best wishes to you and your baby!!! Your baby is adorable by the way!!
Oct 29 2008, 07:47 PM
oh nakedmolerat your story makes me so sad! i'm very happy to read that you got to a better place in your mind about it all, it's so hard to feel like you've fallen short as a parent in any way. it's extra hard when it's your first baby and you don't realize that things not turning out quite as you planned happens all the time! it's not a failure, just a change of plans.
kelly, a pound is a lot of weight to lose, that must have been so scary. i second the fenugreek as well as a guiness if you like that beer. both are great for stimulating milk production. one guiness a day is fine too, not to worry about the alcohol though if you feel it's too much you can have half and then the other half a little while later on. and make sure that you are getting plenty of quality fats (shelled hemp seeds or hemp seed oil, flax seed oil in combo with olive oil for balanced omega's, coconut oil is Terrific! fatty deep sea fish like salmon, butter, etc) and lots of greens (cows make very fatty milk by just eating grass after all, not that i want to liken us to cows!). if you like smoothies in the morning you can make one with baby spinach, banana, frozen berries and juice (add hemp seeds if you have them). believe me, you won't taste the spinach at all, it totally tastes like banana. you can even add some kale to that. try it, i promise it doesn't taste green.
i'm pretty sure the medicine they give you to dry up your milk supply is for when it's first coming in as it can be quite intense right then and you can get very engorged. i imagine stopping nursing cold turkey within the first few months (provided you've been nursing regularly) would end up with uncomfortably full breasts but once baby is eating food your supply eases off a bit anyhow. if i were to stop entirely right now it would be fine. i am nursing between 4 and 8 X's daily.
Oct 30 2008, 08:37 AM
good luck kelly! you totally shouldn't feel like a failure, you have gone through a huge ordeal just to get her here, you should be proud! and remember your baby won't care how she is fed - yes, breastmilk is great, but she won't know either way, she will just know she has a mum who loves her.
i have heard that spending time (a lot of time, like a day or two, with the dad bringing you food), in bed naked with the babe just in a nappy, can help to stimulate production - something to do with the constant skin-to-skin contact and opportunities to notice any feeding cues. might be worth trying over the weekend. and if it doesn't work, you will have still had a gorgeous cuddly weekend bonding with your little one and resting and recovering from the birth, both very important. and definitely eat well, you need to be taking in plenty of extra calories at the moment. (((kelly)))
ETA: i have found La Leche League very useful for information on breastfeeding issues, they have lots of handy FAQs
Oct 30 2008, 12:12 PM
thanks for everyones support. I've decided to throw in the towel. the constant pumping and constant refusal of the breast are too much. i'm much happier just feeding her formula and loving her to bits. We've pretty much gone the attachment parenting route, not so much as a concious choice as by the fact that it came naturally. we love having her in our bed and i find using the moby wrap and slings are the most comfortable and convenient way to transport baby. serious bonding time.
How much do/did your new borns sleep. We have no problem with Matilda sleeping through the night. but she seems to sleep all the time.
my mom is still here which is great (as much as I would like to kill her sometimes). she does lots of little things like laundry, vacuum and the added bonus of handing off baby for a shower.
C-section scars. does anyone have a really taunt area around the incision? I had a cellulitous infection after surgery that I'm taking antibiotics for, but i feel like there is something under the incision that feels really hard and weird. i guess i will call the doctor.
Oct 30 2008, 12:16 PM
sometimes baby's sleep like crazy at the start. mine did, and my friend's little girl and my other friend's new little boy. so long as baby is making wet diapers and gaining weight it's all good.
Oct 30 2008, 01:13 PM
per the c-section scar- that's scar tissue forming. 2 years after surgury, it still felt stiff from time to time.
I'm so glad little m likes the sling! That's wonderful and happy. RU in the states or UK? For the states, I'm happy to give you any formula feeding advice that you need. We busties come in all momma shapes, sizes and experiences, and I for one, and grateful for all the different advices we can get.
Oct 31 2008, 11:02 AM
kelly, my c-section scar feels hard and i still have some numbness in that general area. congratulations on making a decision about feeding, and good luck with formula! whatever makes your baby happy, satisfied, and thriving is the right choice!
pepper, is it just guinness beer that stimulates production, or any beer? what is it about guinness in particular? would that be any stout, or just guinness?
i read in a breastfeeding book that you shouldnt sleep on your stomach because it puts pressure on your breasts, giving a "binding" affect that is not good for your supply. is that true?
Oct 31 2008, 12:05 PM
i believe that it's any stout but i can't remember why...
sleeping on my front is certainly uncomfortable. i imagine that binding would decrease milk production due to restriction of blood flow to the area. almost like an injury.
Nov 2 2008, 12:48 AM
According to this
website, it's any dark beer, and it's because they tend to be high in vitamin B and hops (though another said it's got to be Guinness and says it's because of the iron). That site also has some other tips, but they seem like a lot less fun than drinking beer.
Nov 2 2008, 06:33 PM
QUOTE(thatgirlkelly @ Oct 30 2008, 05:12 PM)
How much do/did your new borns sleep. We have no problem with Matilda sleeping through the night. but she seems to sleep all the time.
Kelly, congratulations on your beautiful baby. Also, your breastfeeding experience is very like mine. (Naked, my sobbing was at home, but I know how you felt!) One of the things that finally helped me feel better was to realize that while there are adequete substitutes for breast milk, there is no substitute for loving, caring parenting that puts the needs of the infant first and gives him/her the attention and love they need.
As far as the sleeping goes, newborns are not awake much. Consider yourself VERY VERY LUCKY. Notbob slept in spurts of 20 minutes (daytime) and 45 minutes (nighttime.) Sleeping through the night took AGES, and he still is usually a bear to get to sleep. He just doesn't like it and has a hard time winding down. (He's a very intense kid.) This is part of the reason we are only having one.
I have seen charts, though I can't remember exact dates, but over time she'll be awake more and more.
I am green with envy! Honestly, though, it's very normal and it's just good luck for you so you'll actually be able to get some rest and recover.
Nov 3 2008, 09:23 AM
We read a spectacular "day to day" (i.e. NOT Philosophical) baby care book in "Baby 411". There certainly is some leaning towards more common sense parenting in there, but the authors (a pediatrican and a "young" mom) both seem to favor the "whatever works, do" philosophy of parenting. At any rate, there are tons of charts and graphics illustrating all the curiosities of infant life... how much sleep do the need? how much food? what is normal poop?, etc. I'd highly recommend it as a great addition to the child development type books (Sears, Ferber, Brazelton, etc.), which are great for understanding the "whys" but not necessarily the "hows" of infant care.