Jun 9 2008, 03:02 PM
Ok, I have only skimmed and I'm freakishly busy (we are signing on our house today after some crazy mix ups!).
But have to say
Whoohoo mox! I know you were wanting this. Congratulations and my best wishes.
Pink--12 pounds total? That seems ridiculous. I'm a big person and the midwives totally didn't blink an eye when I gained about 22 lbs for the pregnancy. Those jumps can happen. I'm skeptical that 12 lbs total is ever, ever safe.
And yes, I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED having a doula. I did it mostly b/c the studies and evidence is so compelling that its a good thing, but I didn't appreciate how good a thing until the birth. She was worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY we paid. Money was a issue for us, starting over in this country, etc, but she was so worth it. Picking her was the smartest thing I've ever done in my life. Ever. Having someone who is not your partner with you to totally focus on your comfort is amazing. It really freed up my partner for the emotional support, which I really needed, while she focused on my comfort--which I also needed.
(I'd really recommend interviewing more than one potential doula, though. And go with your gut. In the end I coudn't explain why I liked our doula, Kara, so much more than the others, but I knew she was the one, and I went with it. the mister liked all of them, so he was relieved I had a strong opinion. I'm glad I listened to my gut feeling.)
I also was very happy with the midwives. Honestly, my personal opinion is, unless there is a medical reason that means you need to go to a doctor, use a midwife. I know everyone is different, and I respect that, but that's how I feel personally.
The difference that is important to me is that midwives are trained to see birth as a normal experience than can sometimes have complications. Doctors, whatever they say, are trained to see birth--and everything else--as a series of medical problems. On the whole I think doctors assume there will be problems, and that can create problems in itself.
And good wishes to Blanche!
Jun 9 2008, 05:23 PM
had our first scan today and YAY! saw a little heartbeat! now it's really real to us that we're going to have an fjette v2. doc said everything looks good and according to the size, i'm 6w4d along. that's just about where i would have thought judging from my cycle lengths over the past several months. so, they gave me a due date of january 30th.
mox, i'm having the same crampiness and i remember the same thing from last time. i think it was pepper that said something to the effect of "your uterus is like a little construction site during this time" and that gave me a lot of comfort last time. so i'm reminding myself of that every time i have a little twinge. i really wish you the best of luck!!
in retrospect, now that the shock has worn off, we're both happy that this pregnancy happened the way it did. we tried for SO LONG last time and it really made us very stressed and anxious. dare i say, it made sex more of a job at times that it should ever have been. we're sort of glad that we don't have to worry like that this time. now we just have other things to think of... like how in the WORLD we will afford daycare for two kids under two. ACK!
Jun 10 2008, 06:43 AM
Great FJ!! We have to wait till 8 weeks for the scan...so my paranoia reins for another couple weeks. Go great that you got to see a heartbeat already!!!
Did you talk yet with the doc about VBAC or repeat C with number 2? My doc strongly advised against vbac in the first 18 mos post-C...not that that applies to me, but it does to you. I'm all about scheduling. According to my calendar (and my clock-like precision cycles), the DD should be Feb 6. Which means, our kidlets might end up on the same day!! How AWESOME would that be?
We're trying very hard not to think about daycare yet. Just focusing on staying knocked up.
Jun 10 2008, 08:54 AM
that's really cool FJ!
moxie i definitely had the crampiness, and i noticed every little twinge. i found pepper's construction site analogy useful too!
congrats on the house anoussh
i had a really great hospital visit yesterday - i am being transferred from the original hospital to another one as i wasn't covered by the midwife service of the first one for a homebirth
anyway, this hospital was tons nicer, the waiting area was nicer and more welcoming, the reception staff were nice and polite, the other patients were friendly (rather than teenage mums throwing death stares at everyone), the whole experience just felt less ghetto. the midwife was great - she was dutch and told me that in the NL, homebirth is standard unless you have medical complications, and you have to pay if you want a hospital birth!
she also said i had a nice tight belly! it was a nice boost as i'm into the maternity trousers now and elasticated waists feel so un-sexy...she was very cool, unfortunately she doesn't do deliveries at the moment, just the hospital based antenatal care.
rushing off now but love to all the other preggos on here
Jun 10 2008, 06:12 PM
in the early days of my pregnancy, like between finding out at 4 weeks and my first appointment at 8 weeks, i felt crampy also. in fact, the sensation convinced me that my period was about to start at any minute. keep in mind, a lot is going on in there! i know how difficult the "waiting weeks" are- Good Luck!
falljackets- congrats on your tiny heartbeat! that is wonderful news.
thank you, everybody, for all the support about my 9 pound gain at the doctor's office this week. nakedmolerat, i completely see what you're saying about the weight gains and pound-age make up during pregnancy. if i were a normal weight, i guess that 11 pounds gain at 5 months would be no big deal. but- that raises a question- because i'm bigger, are the weights of my placenta, breasts, fat stores, baby, amniotic fluid, etc supposed to be smaller than everyone elses? and if so, how can all our babies (slender moms and bigger moms) develop well, if we are subject to different standards?
and then you guys were talking about midwives, like anoushh was saying that the midwife didn't think the weight gain was such a big deal. i see an OB. the OB told me i could gain 12 lbs. at my practice, your 5 month visit is always with the midwife for some reason. now, the midwife was the one who weighed me this week. she didn't seem alarmed- it was more of my alarm at having gained so much and being concerned about it. so, i wonder if fundamentally, OB doctors and midwives see the whole process differently.
Jun 10 2008, 08:28 PM
taking the test tomorrow. can't do it with the first pee of the morning because i have to go out and buy it, but i'll take one on the 12th too. around my nipples on my breasts were dark yesterday =o but my period is also supposed to come on the 15th so i don't know if it's PMS or what. i'd be about 21 days now.
Jun 11 2008, 07:09 AM
pink i meant to say yesterday, cutting back on refined carbs is probably a sensible idea if you eat a lot of that stuff as they are fairly empty calories - but wholegrain carbs i think are a pretty important part of a preggo diet and will keep you feeling full for longer too. could you just switch your white rice/pasta/bread for wholegrain/brown versions of the same products? will also help with constipation if you are suffering... if you are eating a healthy balanced diet and avoiding processed crap it seems nuts to have to worry about the amount of weight you gain.
i had a moment of panic last night - that i've made a disastrous decision and i will hate being a mum and my whole life and identity will be subsumed in a tide of dirty laundry and domestic drudgery and i will never read a book again unless it has cardboard pages and brightly coloured pictures and i will never get laid.
i think it's because (maybe the british thing of not wanting to sound gushy and OTT), people tell you about the childbirth horror stories, sleepless nights, nappies, cracked nipples etc etc but nobody actually says the nice stuff about having a little person in your life and the good bits of seeing a personality grow and develop.
i am not freaking out anymore, i truly want this baby and we planned for it, and i don't think i have unrealistic expectations of motherhood (inasmuch as you can be prepared, i know i will probably be knackered, covered in baby sick and up to my ears in dirty nappies and am unlikely to morph into angelina jolie), but i would love it if you could tell me some of the nice stuff about having babies, to reassure me that i'm not crazy for doing this.
Jun 11 2008, 07:42 AM
OK- As a mother of a 2yr old, here are the most wonderful things, in chronological order from birth to age 2.
Birth - giving birth! Seeing how the little person you've gotten to know inside you looks on the outside.
Newborn - Cuddling and snoozing together. Dressing baby up in absurdist outfits. Having complete strangers gush at your sweet child.
Infant- SMILES. Holy god, I never thought I'd be as happy as the day my daughter first smiled at us. Also, Crawling, Sitting, walking. Developing food tastes, seeing how a little person can be a real person at such a small size.
Age 1 - Amazement at their ability to push themselves. Words. "Mama" - honestly, I love hearing her say that. Seeing a sense of humor come out that is wicked funny. Watching her play with the cats.
Age 18 mos- Real bursts of independence - no more baby foods, more words, real conversations. The PARK.
Age 2: A child who isn't a baby anymore and plays with "big kid" toys...dollies, cars, crayons. Hearing "I love you, too Mom".
I know that sounds gushy...to sum it up--- the best part of being a mom is just guiding the development of the little person and enjoying where they are AT. The bottles and nipples and poopy diapers are just part of the day. Its really not so bad. Although birth IS an ordeal, its work in the greatest sense of the word...something HARD that ends up with something AWEinspiring.
Jun 11 2008, 08:47 AM
Wow Moxie, thanks so much for that beautiful post. It was incredibly touching. I know how Beck feels, sometimes <always> I tend to focus on all the gross, cruddy or scary parts of having and raising a child. I think about my own neurosis and "bad" attributes and am fearful of passing those things I like least about myself on to another. Looking back on my relationship with my mom through the year, it has turned out pretty good but there was spite and resentment that I hope I never have to bare the brunt of. Your post is a tender reminder of the splendor of life.
Pink- I am also a "big" girl. My doc told me it was possible (not necessarily advocating) to not have a net weight gain since I have extra stores that can be used to nourish the baby. My nutritionist said he wouldn't recommend that since old fat stores also contain toxins that aren't the best for the developing fetus. I say, be reasonable and gentle with yourself. Don't give yourself license to go hog wild (says the woman who bought a giant Ikea chocolate bar Saturday), but don't quibble over every pound. I've found that keeping the exercise going has helped keep the weight gain down and counter acts some of those not so smart food choices (did I mention the giant chocolate bar?).
xlovely- good luck with the test, I hope the result is what you want.
Jun 11 2008, 09:13 AM
thank you moxie! that was just what i needed
phew. welling up a bit now...
going hog wild hahaha...i'm guilty of the chocolate thing too - i've been pretty good overall but i think those extra 200 calories a day (or whatever it is you get to have for the last 3 months) have all come from chocolate. If it's really good
chocolate, does that make it not so bad?
Jun 11 2008, 05:29 PM
We are just getting ready to move (and am SO BUSY) but I'll just say this:
I think it's a lot better to worry about being a bad mum then to assume it will all be easy and nothing in your life will change. I find the latter very worrying.
I found motherhood INCREDIBLY difficult. Notbob barely slept, was very demanding, and is still very, very active and demanding compared to other kids his age. I felt almost the reverse--that no one was speaking to the truth of how fucking HARD I found it all. My mantra to the mister the first few days/weeks was "it will get better, right? It will get easier, right??" It did, but very slowly, and it's very hard still for me.
That said, I adore the little man as much as I could ever adore anything in the universe. He's a wonderful, happy, smart, delightful child. This morning he was very tired (woke up early, went to sleep late--he's resisting sleep with a vengeance again) and was crabby, crabby, crabby because he was so tired. It was annoying, but I realized that as annoyed as I was, I also said "I love you" about 25 times in the course of the morning. Because I do love him.
He's now calling me "mee-moo" and suddenly it's not all "daddy daddy daddy" all the time. (NO idea why he says Mee-moo instead of mama, but that's his word.) He's saying his name (as best he can). He's a late talker but it's clicked all of a sudden.
And hell yes, even in the midst of sheer misery, physical pain (I had a difficult recovery from the birth), and total exhaustion, the first smile was SO. DAMN. WONDERFUL. And all the smiles after that.
Yes, parenting will totally bring up your own experience of being parented, both the good and the bad. It's such a great thing to be realizing that now, and it that is a great thing for your future parenting.
It's ok to feel/admit/say it's hard. It's normal. Don't beat up on yourself for that, or for the fears. Those are all signs of a self-aware parent, which is a very good thing.
(And though the actual birth was pretty scary/hard/painful, it was also AMAZING, transforming, and wonderful. And the wonder of having that little person in your arms is something I can't even find words for.)
Pink, I think all the nutrition advice on here sounds a hell of a lot more sensible than your doctor about your nutrition and weight gain...
Jun 12 2008, 07:02 AM
i don't have a lot of time but wanted to hop in and say:
moxie, your post is so true it just made me cry. i love my boy so freakin' much it's insane. it just happens. and i wouldn't trade it for anything...
even though he woke me up at 3:30am and didn't go back to bed until 5:15.
Jun 12 2008, 07:28 AM
oh, annoush is right...please don't take what i said to mean its all roses and butterflies. It is HARD many more days than not, but you wanted the good stuff. This is the bad stuff:
Crankiness (mine)= high
Wondering how to balance being a good wife, worker, daughter, friend AND mother= fucking insane
I will say that realizing 2 things:
1. I need DOWN time, solo, so that I do keep Moxette in daycare on my "day off." It sounds horrifically selfish, cause moms are "supposed" to devote all time and energy to their kids, but that is just not ME, so I'm OK with it.
2. Therapy is great.
Just like any job, parenting is hard come days, and wonderful others.
Jun 12 2008, 08:21 AM
It is totally NOT selfish. You need some time for yourself. It's an absolute requirement. You are giving everything you have to your kid and to everything else in your life and you need to be able to recharge your batteries.
It's VERY smart to know this and to be able to do it. It's not easy, but it's so very important.
You can't be a good mom or good anything else if you don't take care of yourself.
And yes to therapy.
Little man is tearing thing up, so must go.
Jun 12 2008, 08:29 AM
yeah don't worry mox, i'm not expecting it to be all roses and butterflies, i just wanted a couple of roses to balance out the doom and gloom!
Jun 12 2008, 10:59 PM
heya blanche, how're you doing? just about a week until your due date, huh? how are you feeling? getting lots of braxton hicks? i'm rooting for you!
i'm still only 35 weeks. ugh. i've been having bh contrax pretty much every 10 min for three days now. they haven't hurt but i notice them. tonight though, the contrax are harder and mildly painful and closer together. i had a regular appt with the doc on tues and he said that women can contract like that for weeks on end. my cervix was totally closed. he said i'd probably be pregnant for much longer than i ever wanted to be. hmmmm. . . the change in intensity tonight though makes me wonder.
other pregnant busties - i'm not ignoring you. i read your posts. i think i'm so focused inside that i can't even think of what i want to say. i wish you all happy and healthy pregnancies.
Jun 13 2008, 09:32 AM
i liked this
6 months pregnant this week and feeling good! the little monkey is kicking away in there, it's so cool
Jun 15 2008, 08:34 AM
i am a lot more relaxed about my weight gain now. the comments here really helped. the icing on the cake was the other day when i read "your 23rd week of pregnancy" articles on the internet. many of them said "by now, you have probably gained 12 to 15 pounds." i've gained 12. plus, the baby finally weighs one pound, so one pound of that is him!
i got measured for a bra yesterday.... i am officially a 40 TRIPLE D. i got four bras, because they were buy two, get two free. i want to pick up an extender for when i get bigger through the rib cage.
wow, i wonder if blanche's baby is thinking about coming out anytime soon...
Jun 15 2008, 02:29 PM
Taking a break from rounding up dust bunnies. Our home remodel is moving along and we actually moved our bedroom into the new finished basement space, can I get an amen! I've been moving all the CRAP that we have been living with in the living room to the basement and prepping to have the upstairs bedroom converted into the living room (aka home of the boy's GIANT TV).
So, my boobs haven't really grown that much, at least I don't need to buy new bras. I wonder why....is that normal? Will I be able to breast feed? My mom said she didn't even try, partly due to the era she had me and partly because she didn't think she could...something about the size of her nipples, which to be honest, I really didn't want to talk about.
Yeah, I wonder if Blanch had her baby. Hope everyone is well.
Back to cleaning....to be clear, I'm using kill traps on the dust bunnies.
Jun 16 2008, 04:18 AM
kelly, i wonder if for some people the real growth is right at the end when the milk comes in. mine have grown, but not that much (and i was pretty small to start with so they wouldn't look big to anyone but me). i certainly haven't had the 2 cup size increase that i was expecting! i got new bras earlier on as my regular ones are underwired and were uncomfortable.
i've read that even if you have inverted nipples you can bf, can't think of any other nipple issues that might affect it?
well done on the bedroom! i've been doing ours and it's finally nearly finished, then we can move all the crap out of the spare room and turn it into a baby room, yippee!
pink, glad you're feeling better...40DDD wow! that must be at least a couple of pounds in your boobs alone??
~~happy birth vibes to blanche~~
~~healthy pregnancy vibes to everyone else~~
Jun 16 2008, 07:22 AM
Mine didn't get bigger noticably and aren't getting bigger this time either. They DID get HUGE after moxette was born, though! I have a friend who is a total flat-chested lady who went up to a nice C-cup after birth. While it does happen, as in anoush's case, it is not common for breasts to not make enough milk. Of all the breastfeeding things to worry in advance about, i'd put that last on the list.
I'm finally setteling into this pregnancy thing. My body is starting to show the signs...belly is firm (although still just chubby looking!), boobs are tighter, face greasier. You'd think with a second one, the "reality" would set in sooner...not so much so.
Jun 16 2008, 10:36 AM
Yep, I made essentially no milk. No idea why. Lactation nurse said "sometimes it just happens. We don't know why."
And moxie is totally right--LAST on your list of things to worry about. It's not unheard of, but it's pretty rare. And if it happens, you'll formula feed. But honestly, nothing to worry about.
The whole "your nipples are wrong to breastfeed" sounds like part of that whole culture of "women are inherently defective--how could they nourish a baby better than SCIENCE" that was so in at the time many of us were born, and still has remnants today. Sounds like utter nonsense to me.
I think there's a huge variation (pardon any pun) in the amount of change in breast size that happens in pregnancy, so I wouldn't worry about it either. Since most women are wearing the wrong size bra to begin with,I wonder if some of the perceived change is more due to sensitivity of the breast tissue. That is, when they become more sensitive with all the hormones, etc, a bra that actually might have been a bit small, but felt ok, now seems uncomfortable. I think that happened to me.
Jun 16 2008, 10:37 AM
And yeah, I came over to check and see if there was any Blanche news. Hope all is well.
Jun 17 2008, 05:16 PM
It was my 6 year wedding anniversary yesterday. To celebrate, my sweet and I had maternity pictures taken. Thanks, Shiny!
Jun 18 2008, 06:50 AM
wow...its hard to imagine i'm going to be that wonderfully round again! Fiddler, that is a great preggo pic!
Took a "butts and gutts" exercise class last night. It was "easy" last week, and this week, I couldn't do the crunches! HA! Belly expanding already. My doc said to continue as long as i felt comfortable...so, i think another couple weeks, then back to maybe yoga and elliptical. There is a lady at my gym who is 9 mos along, still goin on the eliptical. I'm IMPRESSED by her.
Blanche...is there a wee mini yet?!?
Jun 18 2008, 06:58 PM
Fiddler, that's a great picture!
I have a question about something, ladies. My nipples are leaking clear fluid. Its not bothersome, just that when I change clothes, I notice liquid glistening there, and if I squeeze my nipple slightly, it turns into a droplet. I'm six months pregnant. Did this happen to any of you?
Jun 18 2008, 08:56 PM
pink, i think my nipples started leaking a little around week 22 or so. they still leak off and on now and then (i'm 29 weeks). sometimes my bed sheets have little stains on them and i'm sure it's my nipple juice. i think it's normal, from what i've heard.
Jun 18 2008, 10:24 PM
re: nipples - i think it's normal for nipples to leak during pregnancy. mine have been leaking from about 4 months on. these days, they're downright juicy. i can squirt them at the cats and i think that's just about the funniest thing ever!
thanks for the compliments on my belly pic! i feel so HUGE.
Jun 18 2008, 10:39 PM
That's totally normal. I never had the least bit of fluid leaking, etc, and to be honest I was worried about it. I was told not to worry, but in hindsight I was right, of course, that it was a sign of a problem.
In the absence of any other symptoms, totally normal--a good sign, even.
Fiddler-great picture! I think it's wonderful you are documenting the pregnancy so well. I was silly and self conscious and avoided the camera for much of the pregnancy, and now I totally regret it and wish I had more pictures.
And happy anniversary!
Jun 19 2008, 01:31 AM
in other news - i've lost my mind! for the last week or so, i've had a compelling urge to get up at night and clean. it started with the bathroom and since has spread to the living room, the kitchen, and organizing my legal documents. omg, i'm tired! let me sleep already! this is craziness and i feel as if it just takes me over. i'm so tired, i can hardly move, but i MUST clean. sure, it all needs to be cleaned but why now? why at night when i want to be sleeping? somebody, make it stop!
still with the b/h all day every day for over a week now. every now and then, i get a contrax that hurts and makes me stop what i'm doing but mostly they're just noticeable, not painful. they get more intense at night.
i'm officially 9 months now. 36 weeks plus one day. i'm excited to meet this baby.
Jun 19 2008, 03:19 AM
love the pic fiddler! you look great. i really want to post pics but we have the wrong gadget for uploading pics from the memory stick to the mac (or something).
and happy anniversary!
my nipples are also pretty leaky - i've had wet patches on sheets and shirts - i'm wearing bras with enough padding to soak it up now
eta: funny story - on holiday, around 20 weeks, i was just starting to show a little and was feeling pretty good. we were in a restaurant and i got up to go to the bathroom, sticking my little round belly out and feeling great, thinking i looked pretty cute! got to the bathroom and clocked in the mirror a wet patch on my boob!
not so sexy!
so since then i have stuck to the padding to avoid a repeat performance!
Jun 19 2008, 01:52 PM
Fiddler--that's the infamous nesting urge! Get ready for baby!
I hardly ever noticed BH contractions, they were so minor for me. When it hurts just think of all the progress you are making! You can start dialating before you know it. When I was first checked by the midwife I was already 4-5 cms dialated! (Of course, I had the super speedy "WTF just happened?" delivery, but still...it's a sign.
I'm thinking this baby is coming sooner rather than later.
Jun 19 2008, 04:33 PM
What great news. And he's just beautiful.
(Yeah, I was 40 years old when notbob was born. I figured older mom+first baby would mean a long-ish, or at least normal length labor. Um, no. About 3.5 hours total. Yikes. So you can just never tell.)
And yes, losing the mucus plug doesn't necessarily involve a lot of blood--sounds pretty normal.
Is it routine not to allow the partner to be present for an epidural? That does sound scary. Glad it worked out the way you wanted and it all sounds like you did so great!
(I feel your pain with the injured perineum. I still have warm feelings for the midwife at the follow up who told me "I know it feels like it will never get better, but it will, I promise." She told me she'd had a fourth degree tear with her first child, but none at all with the second. I had a third degree tear due to the speed of the birth that took ages to heal, but it did. It will get better, so not to worry!)
Jun 19 2008, 05:11 PM
blanche, i'm so happy for you and excited about santino! what a lovely mom and baby. thanks so much for sharing your story! i really enjoyed reading all about your experience. congratulations on your little one, and we are all thinking of you!!!
Jun 19 2008, 05:39 PM
oh, blanche! yeah for you and your family! your new little one is beautiful. i'm so happy for you!
Jun 20 2008, 03:07 AM
oh wow, what a beautiful name! congratulations blanche! i can't wait to get home from work tonight so i can see the pictures!
eep!! so exciting!
Jun 20 2008, 07:12 AM
blanche! Santino! Mini! Mr.Dev! YEAH FAMILY!!!!
So happy for all of you! Blanche- everything heals...scars, tears, etc. It takes a while, but it does get better. Just use the pain as an excuse to be pampered yourself!
Ok, off to brekkie. I've already eaten twice this morning... weemox is hungry!
Jun 20 2008, 08:30 AM
Congratulations blanche & deveraux family!! He's really cute and you've got that "new mom glow" in that picture!!
Jun 20 2008, 04:53 PM
congrats to blanche and family!!! that is really a lovely picture!
Jun 21 2008, 07:50 AM
Wow Blanche, look at all that hair, he is so handsome and alert. Congratulations!
Who is next? Fiddler I think. Then we have a bunch in October right?
Jun 22 2008, 06:39 AM
The odd list of pregnancy things grows...
Banannas=PUKE. Last time it was curry. I'm WAY better off this time!
Blanche- how's the fam settling in? How's mini?
Jun 22 2008, 08:54 AM
22 Weeks, over half way. The little one is jumping and flipping all over the place. Last night I got my first real kick which I'm sure, had my hand been on the belly I would have felt on the outside. It's amazing sometimes how much she's boogying in there. It actually tickles and I can't help but giggle.
Not really tired anymore, but sleep is still very deep and intense when it comes. An I'm definitely feeling very pregnant. Occasionally I get pains in the uterus that feel like very deep long cramps. I assume these are the beginning of the BHs. I am unable to prevent "leakage" when ever I sneeze, cough or laugh. This I don't like not one little bit.
We are still working on getting the new space together and I'm beginning to feel the panic surrounding what I should be buying in preparation for the little one's arrival. I can't even begin to wrap my head around what I really need and what corporate america tells me I need. The result is me fantasizing about birthing in the middle of a field and raising the new born in a cave for the next 3 months, hunting and gathering to sustain milk production. Of course the cave would have a really nice shower.
Jun 22 2008, 01:24 PM
Who is next? Fiddler I think. Then we have a bunch in October right?
fiddler is next, then loverufus, then me (15 September is the best guess), then pinkmartyr, then you, and then moxie and fj in February. Did i get everyone?
i wonder if the best tactic for buying baby stuff is the same as for holiday packing - think of what you need, and halve it!
if it helps, here is my list. most of it is borrowed or freecycled, partly because of the cost and partly the waste of buying stuff that will only be used for a few months. if i really am missing something, hopefully one of the other mamas here will tell me...
moses basket on a stand
crib (i wouldn't have bought both but they've been lent to me so fine)
cot and changing table (the other thing i'm buying new, as MIL really wants to get us something - but not actually buying the cot until he/she grows out of the crib, as space is tight)
cot sheets, i might chop up an old one of ours
bouncy chair thingy
pushchair that is suitable from birth
nappies (cloth), nappy wraps, nappy liners, muslin cloths - pretty much the only thing i'm getting new as the bf drew the line at 2nd hand ones! i'm just going to chop up an old bathtowel for washcloths and baby wipes
bucket for the nappies!
mobile to go above the cot, and a baby gym, both of which i'm making now
lots of sleepsuits and vests - i have bought a few clothes just because they were cute, and been given lots of my nephew's things, but i think that vests, sleepsuits and cardigans are the important things. i like sleepsuits (onesies in american??) because they don't ride up and leave a bare belly or back
baby sleeping bags
breast pump (on loan from SIL), i guess i'll need some bottles to go with that huh?
now i see this all written down, it looks like a crazy amount, but it was nearly all free, either from my SIL, loaned from friends, or freecycle! i will buy new mattresses for basket and crib though. i figure anything that i don't need right away for a newborn, i'll buy later on to spread the cost a bit and save space.
the other thing i really want, although not strictly for
the baby, is a comfy chair for nursing. i don't have room for a fancy nursing chair but i like this
blanche, you both look beautiful! well done!
Jun 22 2008, 02:26 PM
Kelly--start those kegels now! (I wonder if this might be even more important for us older moms?)
You'll appreciate it later. I still have to watch sneezing (which means I need to remember to do them more often...)
Loved the comment about the shower!
Beck, I remember hearing someone at the lab when I was getting my GTT saying "of course you HAVE to have a diaper wipe warmer!" I remember thinking "I do? Why?" Yes, I can see how the kid would prefer warmer wipes, but honestly. You use warm water or you hold them in your hand a bit to warm them up. It was fine.
I wish I'd had the fleece pouch at about 6 weeks right away. The sling I bought was usesless, and the pouch was so easy. Also the swing was a great thing at first.
interesting it's different stuff this time around, Moxie. And yes, way better off this time!
Jun 23 2008, 04:00 AM
a wipe warmer?? madness!
the fleece pouches sound good though, i might look on ebay for one. they look like you could breastfeed with one on? the moses basket rocks and the bouncer vibrates (and has a heartbeat and a white noise setting!!
) so hopefully that will be enough rocking fun for the kid, if not i won't rule out the swing.
kelly, the geisha balls seem to be working for me, i just need to remember to use them more regularly. they work on the same principle as the cones and stuff that people get given if they have pelvic floor probs post-birth
how many weeks are you moxie? hope you don't have too much puking
Jun 23 2008, 06:14 AM
Yeah...i think the first trimester stuff is just really kicking in. I'm either startivng or nasueaus, often both. Eh, if it means wee bean is growing, so be it.
Anyway, thinking through what we want/need for #2, here is a list of our "must haves" and "was nice" and "never needed"...with commentary as appropriate. Hope it helps:
Car Seat/Stroller, preferably one of those "travel systems". Need not be new, but must be reliable
Place for bebe to sleep...moses basket is great, unless you have a HUGE kid who is too big by age 1 month...then Crib. Moxette was in Crib until NOW...and we just took the rail off for a "big girl" bed. New bebe will use same crib, matress, bedding.
Swing...100% absolute must have...battery powered for sleepless nights...the "swish" of the swing did wonders compared to the vibrating of the bouncy seat
Gentle music of your choice...for said same sleepless nights
Exersaucer/Walker (age 4-8 mos): SOOO nice to have
Highchair (but a strap-on booster will be used nex time)
Plush baby washclothes (snugglegrade.com)...seriously, still haven't frayed, 2+ years in
Lots of blankets and onsies...more than you'll ever imagine you'll need
Buttpaste (Boudreaux's or Triple Paste)
Not needed (but might be next time around)
Carrier- my kid HATED all manner of sling/carrier...she was much happier playing nearby
Diaper Genie...regular garbage pail and plastic bags did just fine
Wipes warmer...do you live north of the artic tundra? No? Useless piece of crap...by the time you remove warmed wipes and apply to bebe but, they've cooled down!
Ok, i'd better be off to work...
ETA: 7 weeks today. So the "worst" phase of anything is really just starting...7-12 is when anything bad will happen. Eh, its best to look at this pragmatically, right?
Jun 23 2008, 09:11 AM
Congratulations, Blanche!!!! Awww I love the pictures, so beautiful!
It's funny what you said pinkmartyr, that same week I started leaking a bit of colostrum, too.
Aaaahh! It's a little nerve-wrecking to read these lists of things to get the baby- I don't have anything ready yet!!!
I hope everyone is doing well, and if you're living in southern cali like I am, that you're coping with this hellish heat!!!
Jun 23 2008, 10:56 AM
wipes warmer, huh? for me, that went straight into the 'yeh, whatever' category along with the countertop bottle sanitizer.
i have everything ready and i'm feeling so done with being pregnant. seriously, everything hurts. it feels like my crotch is broken. i've been having pretty strong b/h contrax for two weeks now. i can't sleep. i can't be nice. i'm seriously crabby with everything and everybody. honestly, they don't even have to cross my path and i'll wish curses on them. i'm ready to meet this baby already.
ok, griping break for just a moment to wish the rest of you happy healthy non-swollen and anti-puking vibes.
Jun 23 2008, 01:43 PM
Fiddler, I'm convinced that those feelings are natures way of helping you deal with any fear of actual birth.
You get to the point where you are so sick of being pregnant and feel so very miserable that the unknown of childbirth is nothing compared to the feeling of "I WANT THIS OVER--NOW!" (Though it's a cruel joke of nature that you end up sleep deprived just in time for the baby to come--when you will be even more sleep deprived... Fingers crossed for a good sleeper for all of you!)
And post birth I was thrilled to find I could pee like a normal person again right away.
The fleece pouch (I got mine off ebay too--just went for the cheapest one and it was fine) were so easy to use, comfy for baby, and he never, ever wanted to be put down for the first few months, so it made my life easier. The ergo carrier, expensive though it is, is a great carrier, but by the time we got it for when he was older, he didn't want to be enclosed/limited like that, so we actually didn't really use it. Other kids seem to love it.
For me the "what a great thing to have" purchase was the Arm's Rest Cosleeper. I intended to use it for breastfeeding at night, but even though I ended up not breastfeeding it was great to have. But I think other things can work fine too. That was just my "I'm so glad I bought this" purchase. And they can use it a bit longer than a moses basket.
Mox, I hope your sickness doesn't get too bad. I was sick every. single. minute. of every single day. For me that was far worse than labor.
Note on diaper/nappy creams for beck and others in the UK--Sudocreme worked best for us. It's still our favorite.
Jun 23 2008, 01:46 PM
The sick seems to come and go. My friend reminded me that I was sick like this with moxette for 3 or 4 weeks, but I was so focused on the bleeding, that I genuinely don't remember.
Anyway, i suspect we will make great use of a carrier with #2...can you all send me some info on this fleece carrier thingy?