Jul 4 2007, 03:08 PM
candycane, i'm pretty sure most guys know about girth. three of the last four guys i've been with had thick weiners, but only one had any sort of length to write home about (my last boyfriend, sigh).
jeff: my first, we were "boyfriend and girlfriend" for a few months in high school. i was 15 and he was 17 but already leaving for college (he went on to become an engineer or something) and talked me into sleeping with him before he left. we did it to a bob dylan song. it hurt a lot, he came within seconds, and that was that.
justin: my first serious boyfriend, we dated my junior and senior years of high school and he was two years older then me. it was awesome hanging out with him and his older friends, but we didn't really click sexually - of course i didn't know that at the time, but now i know. we didn't have sex very often, and when i left to go to college in boston we agreed that we were better being friends (which lasted, oh, a few weeks).
adam: we became quick friends when freshman year started, and had a brief fling. he was straight edge and in a hard core band and had sweet tattoos. then he got back together with his high school girlfriend, but i was happy to get that beginning of college romance over with.
mike: we also became quick friends at the beginning of freshman year, and became really close as the year went on. he confessed that he loved me in april and we first slept together a few weeks later. i was his first, and he was so nervous and couldn't keep it up. we had a try a few more times before it was successful. thankfully he got it together and we had really great chemistry for a while, and kept sleeping together for a few months after we broke up.
guy: i knew his name once, but can't remember now. we met at a zombie-themed valentines party when he overheard me complaining about being single to my friends. he asked me if i wanted to go to the make out closet, i said yes, and then ended up going home with him. i was wasted. all i remember is that he came on my stomach and he had karate swords on his wall. i swore off one-night stands after that.
neal: we just broke up about five weeks ago
i was with neal for over four years. we slept together after our third date. he was nothing special sexually, but i felt comfortable with my self and my body with him from that first night. he could almost always make me cum, and he could keep it going forever. unfortunately we got lazy by the end of the relationship, so that's probably one of the reasons that it ended. now i'm so used to that level of comfort in sex, i'm not sure how i'm going to manage sleeping with a new guy!
Jul 4 2007, 04:01 PM
karate swords? wow....that is....i don't even have the words.
we should really start a 'best penis ever,' thread.
Jul 6 2007, 10:22 PM
1. R- way too old for me, wrong situation, should have been prosecuted. boyfriend.
2. D- on the floor at a girl's house when her mother wasn't home. was my earth science lab partner and we had fun keeping our little secret all the time. one night stand.
3. S- i thought he had the longest penis ever. he took it out of his pants, and it kept going and going. crappy guy, though. boyfriend.
4. C- cool punk boy that gave fantastic oral. the first boy that was ever concerned about my satisfaction. unfortunately, i was on a heavy anti depressant at the time and had trouble with orgasm, plus, i wasn't comfortable with my body, even though he thought i was really cute and adored me. boyfriend.
5. T- best boyfriend ever. took his virginity. he was adorable and smelled like soap. first boy i had a shower with. whoever ended up with him is a lucky girl.
6. K.P.- it hurt, had a huge penis, never called me again. felt sorry a few months later and took me out for chinese and coffee. one night stand
7. J- poet boy from new york. turned out to be a total jerk. boyfriend.
8. m- goth boy! had a big bed and i liked sleeping in it. we stayed, and remained, cool for years, even though we were never more than friends. when i see him out to this day, i can count on him buying me a drink. sex pals.
9. j- another boy from goth night. slept over a few times. once i had a bad ear infection and he put drops in my ear for me the next morning, then held my hand all through breakfast with our other party pals. i was so sick and loved the tlc. i adored him for that. sex pals.
10-d- had my period and bled on his underwear. he was a virgin. boyfriend.
11- s- dated and lived with him for about a year. he was great at oral sex.
12- r- i totally should not have slept with him. he was just gross. you guys know what i mean. boyfriend, sadly.
13- m- we took pills, drank forties, and he stole my credit cards. he was trying to marry me, thank goodness i never did that. boyfriend.
14- ok, i don't remember this guy's name. it was two nights before i moved away. it was awesome sex. he fed me all kinds of crap about how he'd come visit me, and never did. one night stand.
15. j- we had pretty good sex, or as good of sex as someone can have when they live with their parents. boyfriend.
16- ok, don't recall his name, either. shows you how memorable this one was!
17. b- best sex ever. best sexual chemistry. couldn't stop doing it even after we broke up. still texts me about how great it was. is a major temptation. boyfriend.
18- ok, don't remember this guy. had anal sex with him for the first time. didn't care for it. sex pals.
19- hot guy with lots of muscles who had no problem buying me drinks. had a shorter penis than i expected, and didn't last long. bummer. dated him.
20- don't remember this guy's name. he was pretty cool. we got up the next day and had gin and tonics. we did it on two seperate weekends, a couple of months apart. sex pals.
22- e- we were stuck together like glue for about a month. huge penis.
23. my husband. did it on our first date. i like having sex with him, but he doesn't do oral at all, and we only do it about once a month. i want to do it much more often, but have a hard time getting him to say yes.
and now for the ladies!
1. s- i really adored her but she decided she'd rather have a guy. we dated.
2.- c- it was pretty hot with her. she's the first lesbian i did it with. she had a strap on, but unfortunately, i never saw it!
yes, i did get around. my husband doesn't know how many people i've had sex with. i'm not ashamed of it or anything, but i have just never felt the need to go there. this is the first opportunity i've had to give the list and know i won't be frowned upon!
Jul 9 2007, 02:41 AM
QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ Jul 4 2007, 12:14 PM)
and it's not totally about length either, for me, it's more girth. my man now is just under 8, but a good circumference too. i'd rather have a fat stubby than a long, thin jabby. ewww. but if you can't get it up and keep it up, it doesn't matter what size you are. (and you have to put it in the right orifice, i mean, come ON guys, they aren't that similar)
yes yes and yes. skinny dicks kinda gross me out, its like im gonna break it or something.
oh and the right orafice, seriously...it couldnt be THAT hard...its happened more than once. one time i even cried it hurt so bad. he said it was an accident, i secretly think he was trying to put it in my butt without asking. I've never even had any anal sex, i would like to eventually with a guy who respects my boundaries, but i feel like unless youve talked it out, that hole is a no go.
Jul 9 2007, 07:23 PM
See my post in the anal thread about an accidental anal where my guy didn't realize that's where it was. I thought he did realize, though, and when we figured things out it was pretty funny. It can happen to the best of them! (not to excuse anyone being lame and trying to "sneak" it in the ass, of course!)
Jul 11 2007, 08:19 AM
I have never had a guy make that mistake. I mean, really, if they can't figure out the difference between your vagina and your asshole they shouldn't be having sex! They should be looking at an anatomy textbook!
Jul 11 2007, 05:36 PM
Hey, it was dark, we were tired, I was in kinda a weird position, what can I say?
Jul 16 2007, 10:27 PM
the only position it happens in for me is me on my back, knees pulled up to my chest.....and probably a little drunk too.
Jul 21 2007, 10:01 PM
Hello all! I have returned, was in the lounge for a short while as bella coola last year, and I'm back. Here is my list
The Chronicles of L&L's Vajayjay:
O - number one, very manipulative. I 'gave in' to his constant pressuring about sex... it wasn't great. He was average sized. I unearthed a bunch of emotional baggage in regards to that recently - Lesson learned! Lasted two weeks (after the 'giving in').
R - first one night stand. Freaked me out a little with his 'mm yeah you like that??' and ass slapping and what not, being so new... really big cock. Decent
D - cowboy, well sized - hit all the spots. Another one nighter (but 3xs). Could have been more attentive, but it was nice
J - another 'you like that??' kind of guy, but he called me angel and I liked that. Two hours... I was walking funny for a week afterwards. Smaller in size - poor technique but good enthusiasm (one night)
J - and... another one night'er. It was terrible, he was very inconsiderate, didn't even bother to pull out (unprotected - I know, yes I do know)
L - neither of us were really in to it, shouldn't have been done. Good size and respectful though - dated a month
D - Long, not that thick. Terrible technique. Dated 3-4 months... nice enough guy
J - Nice guy, one night... small, terrible lay.
R - one night - freaky guy, amazing body, horsecock, good technique, little high strung. Pretty good
W - one night, I was fairly drunk and in the midst of passing out. He took advantage - I take responsibility for consent but still feel like it was iffy. He was huge, I was dry, it hurt... not good. Dirtbag
D - good guy, playful and passionate. Good size, good technique... short fling but good heavens. Ripped my (button-down) shirt open, gah
G - one night - good size, allright guy. So vanilla that that's all I really have to say
D - one night, party night - I just wanted to fool around. My hands told him no but he went ahead... not cool. Avg size, bad lay
S - dated for a month, humped the whole time... 12 years my senior but the skill didn't match. Big unit, bit ego, not open to (much needed) learning
M - one night... amazing body, well endowed - poor technique.
L - one night (New Years) - small, poor technique... terrible lay. Awful. The end of the one night'ers
So none were particularly good! That is why I am holding out for a boyfriend that I deem worthy. The last time was New Year's of '06... I'm getting a li-ittle anxious! Oh well, I'll be worth it
Good Maude I hope it'll be worth it (*nervous laughter*)
Jul 23 2007, 12:02 PM
I've lurked around here a bit, but this thread made me want to post:
I've been upfront w/my husband about everyone I've been with, I've had more experience than him, but he's been open to almost anything and is very GGG.
N- first boyfriend, I was 16 and he was 18. Would go down on me for hours in friends' bedrooms, let me set the pace to when I finally had sex. Sweet guy, but when I was buying a car, having a job, applying for college, he was dropped out high school w/ no job and no license. I broke up with him after 6 months.
BJ- Friend since junior high, we messed around a bit and then had sex at a party-- the tiniest dick ever, living up to the rumors. His ex-girlfriend showed up and when he heard her voice he pulled out w/o finishing and went out to follow her around the party for the rest of the night. Somehow we managed to stay friends and never spoke of that night ever.
B- BJ's best friend, again a friend since junior high. Big half-hawaiian guy who loved the "gangsta" life, but lived in the suburbs. He had a car he wanted to turn into a lowrider and the backseat was huge, so we always fucked in it. He loved Master P but would let me play Sleater-Kinney's Dig Me Out over and over again. I cheated on him with a friend when B went to a party without me that was populated by bitches (the animosity was mutual). I told him what happened when the guy I cheated with's girlfriend called him and started leaving messages every 5 minutes. B thought the best way to stay together after that was for me to not go off to college an hour away, but instead stay in our hometown and go to the local CC and marry him. Thank god I didn't. He always wanted me on top and gave shitty head, but was the first guy I came with.
T- best friend since jr. high, cheated on B with him one night. His girlfriends never like me. He brags about how awesome he is in bed, but we've slept together a few times and it's always been average. He's enthusiastic, but less than amazing in bed.
N- I should have run like hell from this one for both of our sakes. Goth guy I slept with a week after moving to college. Never let me see him without his shirt on, even when he came in from the shower. Was a virgin and a hopeless romantic. I broke up with him after he found some gore magazines and put up pictures of car crashes and corpses all over his dorm room, thus making it the last place I wanted to have sex. Again, wanted me on top all the time. We used condoms but I got pregnant (found out the day after I broke up with him). He sent me Pablo Neruda poems and offered to sell his guitar for an abortion, but I declined and managed to binge-drink my way to a miscarriage the day before Xmas break. Later N dated a girl I'd messed around with and they'd sit at his dormroom window and watch me enter/leave the dorm. Creepy. At one point he was wearing a black lace veil to shows a lot.
Q- heartbreaker. Older black guy in the dorm room next to mine, amazing in bed and gigantic cock. Broke up with me after 2 months because he wanted to see other people then got pissed when I made out with someone at a party. I cheated on a lot of people with him. It's best that he's out of the state, because he's dangerous. Later found out that the girl he left me for wouldn't have sex with him, and was confronted by her a couple years later. Apparently while she wasn't having sex with him, everyone else was.
S- rebound. 8 years older than me and from the bronx. Lots ot tattoos and a lifelong love of Special K. His dick was crooked off to the right and it freaked me out. Told me he loved me and wanted to move into my dorm room after 2 weeks.
L- the one that got away. adorable PNW hippie boy really into outdoorsy things, I lusted after him all year. Was a virgin, and am still touched that he gave it up to me, and pissed at myself for fucking around on him. Very sweet in bed and a quick learner. I came so easily with him.
M- meh. we dated for a year and a half, met at work. The only things we had in common were love of weed, tekken, and star wars. even then, I could balance those with a life and he couldn't. He got in a screaming fight with my mom and that was the end of it. Nice dick, bad head, virgin when i got to him. Is currently dating my best friend from college and still living with his parents 7 years later.
D- nothing special, some guy a friend knew. Was the first person to have anal with, and he was really small so it wasn't bad. Didn't last long, he kept chasing little club girls, which I am not.
A- fucking ASSHOLE. Southern, lots of tattoos, good cook. Not that exciting in bed, insisted he was sterile from smoking seeds and stems. Later told everyone we knew that I was a "dead lay", including my (then current, now husband) boyfriend's brother when we started dating. Lived on the couch of the punker house I lived in after we broke up. Gave me HPV-- noncancerous strain, but I got warts that showed up 4 years later. If I see him on the street, I'll chuck a brick at him.
J- Wanted to go slow, which for him meant lots of anal and oral. Only had vaginal sex with him once, and he broke up with me 2 days later. When he dumped me, he asked me to not ever date I or JW. I told him I'd never date I, but then I married JW. Threatened to show up and ruin my wedding, causing me to hire doorpeople. Has since apologized. Good head, but relied on the novelty of a pierced tongue too much.
JW- the one-- I told myself I'd marry the first person to make me come the first time, and he was it. Nicely sized cock-- anal is a slow challenge, but that's ok. Is up for almost anything. One of the few guys I've been with that I didn't cheat on with a previous ex-- ther'es no reason to. We tried swapping with the following, and he realized that his limit is that I can't fuck other guys, but girls are ok.
J2- Husband of a couple we know. Got drunk with his wife one night and we all ended up in some thing on their livingroom floor. OK cock, way to hairy for me, but really excited to get me into bed, kept telling me that I gave the best head ever. Only once and not again. Has given his wife leave to sleep with almost anyone.
D- Wife of said couple. Have had a couple threesomes with her and my husband, she likes it waaay rougher than we are used to, but is fun. I love going down on her, she's very responsive.
Wow, some of these people should not be on this list. The couple thing is hard-- they are friends with one of our best friends and none of us feel comfortable telling her that we've slept together. It does feel good to get this all out!
Dec 21 2008, 08:28 PM
This thread deserves revival! It's so fun to read about other people's experiences. I don't have as long a list as the previous few posters, but it's respectable for my age I think. (20) So, here goes, with some helpful nicknames for the involved parties.
1. K - first bf. The kinkiest person I've ever slept with, which makes me a little sad. We were both virgins going into it, but we really had a good relationship, very comfortable with each other, so we did a lot of experimenting.
2. P - Brief fling, could have been more. Great at head, nice thick cock. I wasn't ready for anything as serious as he was and we decided to just be friends.
3. D - Not very good, skinny dick. Friend I slept with for a few months, and, continuing with my commitment phobe theme, he wanted a relationship and I didn't, so that was that.
4. S - Total douchebag, but an excellent lay. We dated for awhile, broke up, then dated again, then broke up again. He was really good at getting me off, usually with oral, but sometimes with vaginal sex. I wouldn't say no to starting up a sex friend relationship with him, even now that he cut his gorgeous hair and isn't as hot to me as he used to be lol
5. R - The first girl I ever had sex with, not the first I'd had a relationship with. Wasn't that great at oral, but good with her strap and her hands. Really adventurous, we had sex in so many crazy places.
6. W - Beautiful boy, could be a Burberry model. Unfortunately, on meds that make it hard to stay up. Phenomenal with his hands, got me off like crazy. One night stand.
7. M - Huuuge drama queen, but delicious. She's also a one night-er.
8. W - Boy at Ren Fair that I'd thought was cute for years. Finally got together in a stable, really period, huh? lol (one night-er)
9. T - Hot, hot, hot. Barista with a monster cock. And goes like the energizer bunny. We hook up fairly often, but he's got issues of his own (a baby mama, a chick in love with him, another in hate) that make me want to keep my distance.
10. L - Sexy, tattooed girl I went home with from a party once. Not very good in bed (although she was drunk and stoned at the time, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt), but so smart and fun I tried to keep up a thing with her. Not so successful, due to meeting around finals when we were both busy, and her going to Amsterdam in the spring. A shame.
11. E - A friend of a friend. She was really good in bed (and outside of it...), but goes to school several states away. Maybe we'll hook up again during the next visit?
12. K - Best friend, straight girl who asked me to join her in a threesome with her fuck buddy. Awesomely fun, would do it again in a heartbeat.
13. N - Threesome dude. Not my type, average in bed. Not much to say.
All in all, I don't regret anyone I slept with. Well, maybe the drama-queen hahah
Dec 22 2008, 09:39 AM
Oooh, now that the list is back, I'm doing this because I need to attempt to figure out how many I've nailed and whatnot.
Again! Oooh, edited to add ages, and whether he was a b/f or not.
1. K, loser, compulsive liar, the first guy I fucked. one year older than me, boyfriend. I was 15 he was 16.
2. R, the first guy I went down on, he was the first to go down on me. We made out everywhere when we were 14, then as we got into high school (and beyond) we fucked on and off. I hooked up again with him last xmas, and the sex really wasn't that great, not as good as I remember things being. same age, we never dated. We started playing when I was 14.
3. B, also a high school fuck, we lost contact then started talking again, he told me that he loved having sex with me and loved my oral. He had a fairly big dick. one year older than me, never dated. I was 16 he was 17.
4. K, not too sure what to say about this one, we were friends and had sex only once, he loved oral. He lasted a long time and I was numb... same age as me, never dated. We were both 16 or 17.
5. D, the douche bag ex, the sex really wasn't that great, he wasn't a good kisser and he wasn't circumsized, not so fun. I had a threesome with him and cheated on him with number 6... dated for 6 years (was psychotic), he was 9 years older than me. started when I was 17 and he 26.
6. P, by far some of the best sex I've ever had, the man is my top, he is kinky, he's got a fabulous dick, he's pretty much limitless in sexuality, like I am. The man is my sexual soulmate and my best friend. We've fucked in Home Depot Parking lots, in a sculpture garden, made video and taken pictures. We still fuck. never dated, 8 years older than me. started when I was 22, continues to now.
7. K, the first guy I fucked after my ex and I broke up. The first man who was substantially older than me. He had his cock peirced. I took it up the ass with him. We did this at work at his best friend work station. It was hot. I was 23 when I fucked him, he was 34, I think. I never dated him.
8. S, The sex was okay, he had a foot fetish, first and only who was younger than me. He still wants to fuck me again. Says I was some of his best ever. I was 23, he was 22.
9. D, Italian who seriously would start to fuck me, then with his dick inside me, would say that he didn't know me well enough, so he'd stop. Then he'd instigate. I think it was a control mechanism, so I told him to fuck off, one night I was working him and another guy at the bar, which leads me to... I was 24 he was 32, dated for a time...then I strayed because of said story. Also had control issues.
10. L, oh this man was incredible. I was 24 he was 37, he could go and go and go. After he came, he'd stay hard. Fuck he was incredible in bed. We had a threesome with number 11, and I got DP'd that night. Mmmm....I have fond memories of him. Said I hands down gave him the best head ever.
11. J, threesome, kinky motherfucker. I was 24 he was 30.
12. T. What a fucking douche bag, he was a bad lay, and I only fucked him to spite my ex, whom he was friends with at one time. We had a bad falling out. Never dated him, I think he was 30 and I was 25 or 24.
13. D, known him for 13 years, the sex was intense, he held off him coming until I came, and we came at the same time. And it was the most rediculous long lasting orgasm ever. He told me I gave him the best head ever and no one else would come close to that again. Still good friends. same age as me. We were both 25.
14. K, my first cop. I'm still fucking him, loves to eat pussy, also significanly older. It's not the length, but the girth that counts. Even when I'm wet it stings. Mmm, good stuff. He's 12 years older than me, we are not dating, we will never date. Started when I was 24 (turning 25) he was 36.
15. J, ugh, bar manager, fucked in a DJ booth. Horrible sex. I have no idea anything about this man, really. Was tested shortly thereafter even though we plated safe. I was 25, no idea his age...
16. A, my first black man, the sex was okay. We're friends now, but I found out he was involved with baby momma. Not cool. He is in his 30's I was 25.
17. A, my first man who was 40. It was a kink of mine, the sex was okay. He's married. Bah. I would have dated him. I was 26, as this just happened last week.
18. R, played with him when I played with 17, same day, not at the same time. Now this one is 45, and is also limitless, he shows his hockey team mates pictures of me, tells them about me and there are cops and firefighters, since I want yet another threesome or foursome and gang bang, they're all into that stuff. Fantasy city. I will not date this man, too many children...
I'm positive that there are a few more, but for the life of me, I just can't remember, now that's just fucking, there are also the countless men I've blown. so let's see what else I can come up with.
all of the above,
A. Some random dude from the abr, who also had a girlfriend, didn't fuck him, but was promptly tested.
B. Total wannabe player, I was young and thought I like dhim.
C. A, a white boy what wanted to be a black boy so badly, it was funny.
D. ? Honestly can't remember his name, again white boy who wanted to be a black boy. Pathetic.
This is so horrible, the past 2 years have been a big party. We'll leave it at that for now.
Dec 22 2008, 02:26 PM
Oh man, I forgot about this thread.
1) D. Asshole who first sexually assaulted me and then left me when I was 18 and he was 26. We only knew each other for 3 weeks and I confronted him two years ago. Not the best start.
2) D2. Nice guy I dated for 3 months...first relationship, first time having regular sex. It was alright but he didn't do oral. Disappointing. We broke up because I was too new at things and too shy and confused. I was 18, he was 23.
3) B. We were together for a year and 3 months. Really great guy, great in bed, super attentive, but we had our issues that couldn't be resolved. I wish him well the most out of anyone from the past. I was 18, 19, he was 22, 23.
4) R. Awful...we 'dated' for two weeks but he was soooooooo bad in bed. He went down on me for 10 seconds and would only have sex in pitch black darkness. He took me to see a completely misogynistic movie and I broke up with him for many reasons. Don't remember his age. I was 20.
5) D3. Really nice guy that I dated for 5 months but I just wasn't that into him. By far, biggest cock I have ever had. Awesome in bed and he loved going down on me and trying out new toys. Really nice guy but not for me. I was 20, he was 21.
6) J. Almost 20 years my senior, J was a lot of fun. We didn't date but just slept together a few times over a year. He was the first guy to tie me up. Oh memories. I was 20, 21, he was 39.
7) L. Horrible horrible one night stand with an 18 year old on my 21st birthday. He was really really really bad in bed and was definitely my worst, although followed closely by R. I've never even seen this kid again.
8) I. Guy I casually dated who was way too full of himself and way too into me. He boasted that his hand was like a vibrator...it was not. When he asked me what gets me off I told him oral and he said I was ruining all his surprises...oral should not be a surprise but a regular occurrence. He got clingy and I escaped. I still occasionally get a weird text from him pining after me. I was 22, he was 24.
9) A. Some guy i met online who I had zero chemistry with. We had sex once and it was so bad...it was totally silent and we were not sexually compatible at all. Sadly, I hung out with him again but for someone with an exciting life he was terribly boring.
10) S. An okay guy I dated for 3 months last year. He was fun. He was into similar things, he liked tying me up and telling me what to do but he felt a lot more for me than I did for him. I broke up with him after he told me he was falling in love with me while we were having sex. Unfortunately I didn't feel the same.
11) J. This guy was super fun. I met him online and I have never felt so worshiped. It was like he was in awe of me every time he saw me. He would have done anything I asked him. He had the worst orgasm face though. Really hot body and we hung out quite a few times, but he was kind of weird too. After I told him I was in a relationship he called me and told me he was really into me and regretted not making a move, etc. We don't talk anymore. I was 22, he was 32.
12) T. Another guy I met online. I was looking for casual fun but this guy was bad in bed and invited me to a wedding even though I was very very clear with him. We only saw each other once.
13) V. This guy I also met online. He was very fun but the moment I asked for clarification about our relationship he obviously thought I wanted one (i was looking for a fuck buddy) and he never called me back. I met my boyfriend a week later so I never followed up. Had I not met my boy I probably would have called him again. He was pretty into bdsm but I think my inexperience in being dominant frustrated him. I was 22, he was 31.
14) R. Current boy. Slow start, he'd only had sex with one other person about a year and a half before me so he was practically a virgin. He was really nervous the first few weeks but after he relaxed he was lots of fun. He loves to see how many times he can get me off and we're really compatible in the bedroom. Some times I forgot how much less experienced he is though and I think he feels like I'm pushing him so I'm trying to keep that in check. R is only the second person I've been with who's younger than me. Whoulda thought.
So at 23 I'm at 14, and bound to stay there for a while. Surprisingly, the number of people I've kissed is 15.
Dec 22 2008, 08:48 PM
I always thought it would be fun to post here, but I was too chicken. To hell with it!
Father L. Lost my virginity at 15 in the sacristy of my school's chapel. This got me kicked out of Catholic school. He got transferred to another parish, where he got caught with a 13-year-old eight years later. Telling the story is infinitely more fun than the actual experience was....
ML. The quintessential "nice boy". Key Club, 4.0 GPA. Lost his scholarship when he started skipping school to screw me. Joined the army. Still hates my guts.
KB. The former Mr. Rudderless. Guitar genius, martial arts aficionado. Down to try anything, lots of fun. But we got married way too young, and our attempt at monogamy couldn't survive my time at sea.
RM. I abused this boy. Aimless folk-singer. Performance anxiety. Build-up was superb, experience was anticlimactic.
TS. Dislocated Minnesota farm boy. So very talented. Sneaked into my barracks room on Christmas Eve with two leather belts and a bowl of frozen cherries. Cruel and condescending, but I couldn't resist.
TR. New England jock. Big into role-play and humiliation. Very dear friend, I was very safe with him. He loved me, I believe that now. Didn't believe it then.
JB. Pan-artistic narcissist. Considered it his personal mission to corrupt the innocent. Considered me a partner in crime, his soulmate. Told his wife this. Didn't see much of him after that.
JF. NYC gentleman. Lived to spoil me. Loved the "worship-from-afar" dynamic. Worked out just fine for our brief assignations, but would have been exhausting on a regular basis. Was the first vulture to reappear when word got out through the sailor-net that Mr. Rudderless and I were splitting up.
MT. The perfect no-strings-attached partner. My default portcall booty-call. Wicked and mischievous. Could very literally go all night.
SE. Poor, fucked-up boy. Wanted a Mistress (capital-M type), I wasn't up to it. His ex had branded her name into his back with a curling iron.
JA. Another broken boy. Insta-stalker. Very nearly got me in serious professional trouble with his meltdowns.
TG. Curly-headed eagle scout. Mmmm. So delicious. Criminally good with his tongue, could melt me like ice cream with just a touch. Spent a weekend camped on a Hawaiian beach with me, another locked up in a Waikiki hotel. We had absolutely nothing in common but this. And it was enough.
MM. Oops, another psycho. Caveman type from El Salvador, had definite ideas about where women belong. Wanted more than an affair. Promised to kill me next time he saw me.
TB, aka "Captain". Gawky grey-haired professor type. My commanding officer in Honolulu. BAD idea. He almost got relieved of command, I almost got busted down to second-class. Taught me to use toys - taught me quite a lot, actually.
AN. Holy hell, so hot. Surfer, wrote poetry, absolutely built to fuck. Fierce and primal sex, definitely kept his neighbors awake. Things got dramatic when we got underway.
CF, aka "Our Friend in Miami". Most intense sex of my life, most intense drama. Lovely long-lashed boy from TX. We fought like we fucked, with our entire souls. Liked to choke, pin, slam me against the wall. He still calls me in the middle of the night to tell me he loves me.
DS, aka "Phantom". Gorgeous, brilliant and manipulative. Mad skills. Another who thought we were soulmates. Had been waiting in the wings for CF to transfer, and figured he'd quite simply inherit me. Told him I wasn't ready for anything serious, and he was cool with that. But he was so not amused when I then proceeded to fall ass-over-teakettle for....
Two Beeps. The only partner I've ever had where the sex got better
with time. And it was pretty hot to begin with. All enthusiasm and patience. Likes to make me wait, make me beg. Most satisfied I have ever been, on every level.
I think I'll keep him.
Edited to add -
After further contemplation, I realize I have only included Catholic-school-definition sex, and have completely neglected Clinton-definition-sex. So here are those (the ones I remember), as well as a couple of memorable near-misses:
CU. Met him at church when I was 14. He was ahead of me in the communion line, wearing a fedora and a trenchcoat. Made my baby-goth heart go boom. Never fucked him, but I was dying to. He did finger-bang me at a Kings game once.
TR. Remember on Night Court, Dan Fielding's dream woman who would only appear at the least opportune moments? TR was that sort of character for me. We had a charge between us that would singe innocent bystanders. But we just never managed to find each other alone! Our duty rotation was 180-degrees out, and we worked at opposite ends of the ship.
JC. Lovely young alcoholic who taught me everything I know about 10KW HF systems. Ridiculously smart and painfully hot. We had a sort of Sam-and-Diane thing going - "I despise you... let's screw!" We just never actually got around to the actual screwing part.
JK. Dirty, dirty boy in all the best ways. Tattooed, foul-mouthed punk. Kissed him once in Alaska, but I was too afraid to take it further - he was pretty unstable. He need a friend more than a fuck.
ER, aka "Duckling". Fuzzy blonde boy, wide-eyed innocent. I was 28, he was 18. Christmas in Dutch Harbor, I made out with him in the liberty van. After that, he used to sneak into my berthing area and steal my pillow to sleep with. Still signs every email with "I love you."
RM, aka "Henry". This is a work in progress, sort of. Not like you think. He's Beeps's best friend. I met him before Beeps and I were serious, and we had this instant chemistry that blew my mind. Geeky-hot, likes long... deep... discussions. He sends me poems and midnight confessions. Beeps knows everything and is rather amused.
That's pretty much it. If I can't remember someone after two glasses of La P'tite, there's nothing to remember.
Dec 23 2008, 04:18 AM
What an awesome thread! How come I never saw this? Ok, here goes...
AS - we were both 14, never had intercourse but fooled around a lot. We got as far as oral only once, and it was terrible on both sides, but that's ok. Maybe it's just because his was the first cock I ever saw, but I thought it was huge. If he seemed large at 14, he probably is! Nice guy, dated for over a year (in the sense that we held hands and made out with wild abandon everywhere we went but never had a real conversation).
CC - the proverbial Asshole. I was 14, on the rebound from #1, a typical teenaged girl - naive, depressed, insecure and lonely. He was 17, insecure, dysfunctional, manipulative, a compulsive liar and had several undiagnosed learning disabities. He ran a kind of high school mafia of DnD nerds who would do what he wanted for money and favours. He had people threatening his ex and spying on me before, during and after our relationship. Morbidly obese with a little baby penis which I"m convinced contributed to his intense need to control everybody. He had some serious manhood anxiety. He told me he loved me and I assumed I felt the same way about him, and I was a horny girl who was ready for sex - just not with an asshole like him. By the end, every time we had sex it felt like rape. He thought he owned me, I realized what a prick he was, and I dumped him. He continued to date 14-year-old girls.
TS - Good guy with a lot of problems. The first person I ever loved, and we fell for each other hard. I was 17 and he was 19, and we dated for 2.5 years. I had a lot of baggage from the previous guy, and he was so patient and supportive and loving. We were together over a year before we had intercourse, but the fooling around that lead up to it was amazing. He was hot and athletic and had the most gorgeous, thick, slightly up-curved cock that I never got used to in the years that we slept together. It was about 7 inches and even he could barely wrap his fingers all the way around it. He was bi and it was the biggest turn on for me. He let me fuck him with a strap-on. He was schizophrenic and an aimless stoner and gained over a hundred pounds while we were together. We had sex occasionally for a while after we broke up, and we're still friends.
R - First girl I ever fooled around with, first time with someone I didn't know, first time I ever took E - and I took 3 hits. It would never have happened otherwise. Found out afterwards that she was a prostitute. She turned out to be a fairly unpleasant person to be around. Drug problem and lots of drama. I was 19, she was 26.
MB - First girl I ever had sex with. We were just friends, hooked up a couple of times but the sex was really lame. She just laid there, didn't make any effort, didn't make any noise...She was also totally convinced that I was madly in love with her and wanted a relationship, but I have no idea how she got that idea. She said she "saw it in my eyes." Sweet girl, total drama queen, still friends. I was 19, she was 23.
BC - MB's best friend. Dated her by accident. I was drunk and agreed to go out for coffee with her, and three weeks later we hung out again and she says "guess what! We've been dating for three weeks!" I should have run the other way then, but I was bored and wanted to try new things so I thought, "why not?" Sex wasn't great. but she was extremely orgasmic and I had a great time going down on her and fucking her with my strap-on and seeing how many times I could make her come. She could come over and over and over again. We would usually lose count at 10. She was really clingy and neurotic and I wanted to break it off the whole time but put it off for three whole months somehow. I was 20, she was 25.
RA - A friend. I was 20, he was 30, and I knew it was a bad idea but I found myself strangely attracted and was still experimenting with the "why not" approach to new sexual experiences. He's a tiny little guy, only 5'5, but in good shape and covered in tattoos. Very damaged and very passionate. We mostly just made out all night and that was enough. He was into choking, bondage, spanking, nipple torture, kinky stuff I'd never tried. The sex was beyond awful - his dick was so small the condom would just slip right off, and neither of us was really into it, so after a couple of minutes of listening to the bedsprings squeak I just rolled off and went to sleep. But damn, he gave some amazing head. Wow. We're still good friends, and I still think about it sometimes.
JL - My current girlfriend. A screamer, keeps the neighbours awake. Comes so hard she nearly breaks my fingers. A horny freak who wants sex all the time and wants it dirty. I can't keep up and it makes me feel guilty. Tthis relationship has been an adventure in sexual discovery for her - she's had a lot of firsts with me. Likes to talk dirty and get fucked really hard and fast with her legs up over her head. Went to a Christian private school, which totally cracks me up. She's a month older, we're both 22 now. Fairly serious relationship for over a year and a half.
Huh, I'd never bothered to count them all up before. That's 8, including the ones I only fooled around with. I wonder who'll be next?
Dec 23 2008, 11:47 AM
QUOTE(rudderlesschild @ Dec 22 2008, 09:48 PM)
Father L. Lost my virginity at 15 in the sacristy of my school's chapel. This got me kicked out of Catholic school. He got transferred to another parish, where he got caught with a 13-year-old eight years later. Telling the story is infinitely more fun than the actual experience was....
whoa, rudderless. was it like your own personal thornbirds story?
Dec 23 2008, 12:39 PM
Great thread! Let me give it a try...
K - High School sweetheart. Lost our virginities together. Not a very pleasant experience. March, New England, back of a station wagon, lambskin condom (they're nasty!), but we continued to explore & learned together. Sex became pretty good. She ended up leaving me while I was overseas (Navy); I thought I was coming home to get engaged. and found out she was engaged to someone else! Still not over her. I was 18, she was 16.
? - Older woman who picked us (friend & I) up off the base. I ended up with her that night and she taught me many things (and started a lifelong attraction to older women). Had sex on the pier, watching the night watchman patrol the ship right above us! Then back to her house (actually, more of a shack) where we screwed most of the day. A little wierd as her brother was plowing the field right outside the house & would stop the tractor to watch us through the window. Didn't bother her, though! But she had great boobs & gave excellent head. I was 19, she was 38. Ended up catching NSU from her.
T - Sister of K; felt sorry for me getting dumped by her sister, and we started a romance. Kept secret from K until her wedding day. T was prone to convulsions (nerved me up a bit when she was giving head!) & not a very confident woman, but loved to please me. Was introduced to mutual masturbation (which I find incredibly hot watching now). Ended after she spilled the beans to her sister (family pressure). I was 21, she 23.
P - Rebound sex from T. Again, an older woman with great boobs. Very aggressive & forward. Sex with her was stereotypical "guy" sex; she would get off quick, once, and that was it. She was ready to roll out (or off) and smoke a cigarette. But she liked sex all the time. Lasted 6 months. Me 21, she was 30's.
P - Though I had fooled around with other boys when I was younger, P was the first real male-to-male sex I had. Picked me up in a adult bookstore. Went to his apt. where we fucked & sucked all afternoon. I found out how much I enjoyed the feeling of being fucked, espec. on my back watching. Wanted to keep it going, but he got paranoid soon after about his boyfriend (rooommate) finding out. But he had me craving more.
N - Started out as casual sex, but we clicked. Beautiful long, dark hair. Into all kinds of stuff. Lots of sex on drugs with her. Ended up getting married, then it fell apart. Divorced 8 years later. She was 7 years older.
? - Our babysitter, freaky girl in her late teen's. Loved giving head & first one to swallow (consistantly). Don't remember much about her as we were usually stoned.
T - Left N for her. Tall, beautiful, shaved, and loved sex. Our first time was the ultimate bondage/rape fantasy fullfilled (which she revealed to me in a drunken stupor at a party...so I made it happen). First 3somes with her, loved watching men/women go down on her & seeing her come. Brought out the voyeur in me. Would suck the guys cocks hard to screw me with (when they were bi-curious or their partner wanted to see it). She also used strap-on with me; incredible orgasms watching her above me. Also discovered Bust together with her. Sadly ended when she didn't want to commit, so I moved on. I really miss her!
J & J - Couple, started as 3some with T, we continued together after T & I broke up. He was well-built & had a great cock that J & I shared sucking & fucking. She was small, well-built, and would leave a huge wet spot when she came (first time I saw that). They introduced me to the idea of "cream pies". I was late 20's, they were late 30's. I miss them too.
Those were the highlights, though there were other sex encounters for the sake of sex. But these bring back memories, fond or not...
Dec 23 2008, 04:32 PM
Whew, this was a walk down memory lane, some not so good, but not all bad. ...And may I say, I never thought I'd kiss and tell. ...But here goes...
1. B. - my first. College and post-college boyfriend. We were together 5 years, and fucked like bunnies for the first 2. I was so completely attracted to him, with his David Bowie-ish looks, thought he was 'The One' and all that. He had a nice schlong, long, but on the thin side. As is the way of things, we eventually grew apart and had an acrimonious, ugly break-up. I moved to LA, and he moved here 6 months afterward with no intention of getting back together. Later, an ex-friend who knew us both when we were together, told him some b.s. about me and he sent me some nasty e-mails about it, saying shit like "I should have fucked you and moved on." Yeah. He turned out to be a real prince. It's a good thing we never hooked up again. It would have been a mistake.
2. One night stand, complete mistake, ex-con who lived in my apartment building, started flirting with me when we saw each other around. I wasn't even attracted to him, but it was shortly after my break-up with B, and I was in no shape to be thinking clearly. He was the first black guy I'd been with, which he exploited. He actually had me measure his cock. Yes, I had to go get my measuring tape and do it. And while he was fucking me, he kept demanding me to tell him how good it was and how much I loved fucking a “big black man.” Rough and hard, yes, but not good. Not good at all.
3. T. He picked me up at a fetish club on Halloween. We were both a little drunk (well, he was a lot drunk), I was desperate, and he said he didn't drive his car there because he didn't want to drive home and get a DUI. That was my excuse to drive him home. I later learned that he didn't have a car at all, the loser. His dick was also the size of my thumb. But he was *very* good at other things. His tongue... damn. We dated for a few weeks before I figured out I was his booty call. Which would have been fine if that’s what I was looking for, but at the time I thought I wanted a relationship (although I certainly didn’t need one at the time, I was so messed up). I said my goodbyes, and told him he didn’t know what he was missing (heheh, hurt pride and all that). ...Funnily enough, the following year, I saw him at several fetish events with a new girl - the same girl at all the events. Apparently I wasn't "girlfriend material" and she was. I wondered, though, if he needed to get half plastered to have sex with her the way he’d done with me.
4. D. I met him online. I'd given up trying to meet guys at clubs, so I met him in a Nick Cave chat room. He lived in Canada. We talked online for months and I thought I was falling in love with him. He was stable, with a good job and his own place. I thought he was my next 'One.' We had a 2-year online/long distance relationship. When we first met, the sex was ok, not stellar. I also wasn't that attracted to him, but I kept trying to convince myself that I was, especially after all the deep stuff we’d shared with each other online. Outside of the bedroom, we were generally comfortable with each other, so I thought that meant things were working between us. We met a few more times, but eventually it became apparent that it wasn't going to go much further. He wasn't interested in moving to LA and I wasn't interested in moving to his neighborhood either. We eventually parted ways and remained friends for a few years afterward. Not 'The One' after all.
5. I can’t remember his name. Met him online. Smart, funny guy; English teacher at a local community college. I thought I'd be really into him. Unfortunately, when we first met, I didn't feel any attraction for him. But I didn't want to let him down, so I invited him back to my place. As an ice breaker, we started playing Uno...which, truth be told, is a dumb game for just two people to play. It was going really slowly, largely due to the fact that the guy was colorblind, which he revealed as we played the game. I was so embarrassed (although it wasn't really my fault). But, seriously, how are you supposed to play a card game based on color recognition if you're colorblind?? ...Anyway, he decided to turn it into a game of strip Uno, at which point we both got naked and fell into bumping uglies. He couldn't keep it up, though, when I whipped out the condom. And for such a big guy, he had a pretty small wiener. It was obvious things weren't going swimmingly with us, so the date ended on a rather awkward note, and I never heard from him again.
6. Another nameless internet date. He was 6 years younger than me and I was initially hesitant to date him because I thought he'd be too immature. When we first met, though, he came across as a pretty together guy. He'd made his money with a computer business and was essentially a computer geek, although a very well dressed one. He drove a Jag, which he took me to dinner in. He ended up coming back to my apartment after the date and told me several sad stories about growing up as a poor Latino kid in East LA, including a story about the oven in his family's house apparently exploding, catching him on fire when he was a kid. Which is why he refused to take his shirt off while we had sex, because he didn't want to show off his scars (so he said). He also had a large tattoo on his back of his family's last name which he didn't want to show me. So, even though he seemed like a generally nice guy, there was something fishy about the whole evening. Things just didn't add up. He was very directive in the bedroom as well, which doesn’t work for me. I didn't feel like I was part of the sex act with him. I could have been a sex doll, for all he seemed to care. That was the last time I saw him.
7. R. I met him at a club on a whim. OMG, he was my kind of HOT, like a muscled version of Buddy Holly, complete with black-framed Buddy Holly glasses. He picked me out of the crowd and started dancing with me, and within seconds, his hands were up my skirt, and mine were down his pants. I think he knew I was an easy mark for a one-night stand… and what can you expect when you put your hand down someone’s pants within 5 minutes of meeting them? I was butter in his hands. I drove over to his place afterward - a really stupid thing to do; I didn't know him, no one knew where I was, and he could have done anything to me and no one would have been the wiser. Fortunately, he had no such intentions, other than having hot, hot sex. His dick was ginormous; too big, if I'm honest, and rather painful. But he was a gentleman and walked me to my car in the morning, and called me the next day to see how I was doing. I had butterflies in my stomach for the next week, thinking that I'd scored a truly hot guy. I called him the following weekend to see if he wanted to go out with me, but received an excuse that he had to go to a friend's birthday party and he'd call me later...which he never did. He owned a western wear store in my neighborhood, so every time I drove past it, I was reminded, painfully, of him.
8. K., another internet date. The hairiest man I’ve ever dated, like the guy on the cover of the Pixies’ “Come On Pilgrim” ep. (Ok, maybe not that bad, but close.) Warlock, fiddler, pagan, wicked sense of humor, liar. He told me he’d recently broken up with a live-in long-term girlfriend, and that she’d moved back to her home state of Maryland. He had tattoos of naked fairies all over his body, which I tried to ignore when we had sex. On our second date, we went to his neighborhood bar where he was approached by a cute cocktail waitress. She said, “oh, there you are,” put her arms around him, and gave him a big kiss on the lips. He played it off as if he had no idea who she was, but I should have known better. We dated for 2 months, during which time he never came over to my apartment; I always went to his. He also often complained of a woman he worked with at a local wiccan store, how annoying she was, how poorly she ran her business, etc. When I finally met her, I found him sitting cozily behind the counter with her, deep in conversation. Another sign I chose to ignore. It finally became apparent that the supposed ex-girlfriend really wasn’t an ex. My guess is, they’d probably had a big fight and she’d left town for a few weeks. She abruptly returned, at which point K. abruptly stopped dating me and I pegged him for a lying asshole. I probably could have figured that out from the beginning, but again, I chose to ignore what I didn’t want to see.
9. Br., yet another internet connection. In his mind, a suave businessman with varied interests, business and otherwise. In my mind, an unfocused loser with a hand in every pot and no stable career. Although I fell for the ‘suave businessman’ routine for a short while. When we’d go out for dinner, he’d tell me that he needed to sit facing the door, as my ‘protector,’ so he’d be the first to see any potential ‘danger’ should it approach us. I thought it was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard, but I kept my opinions to myself. It eventually became apparent that he was only interested in a booty call, but not after we’d dated for several months. He was another tall, thin guy, with a long, thin dick. And he tried to use a spermicide on me that gave me blisters on my cooch. Yeah. That was a stone best left unturned.
10. S., another internet connection. Another ‘suave businessman’ type, several years older than me, with 2 teenage kids from a previous marriage. Looked very much like a suburban dad version of Steve Martin, except with bright blue eyes that I fell for in an instant. I initially thought he’d be terribly boring, which he seemed on the surface. As he told me stories about his sexual and relationship history, it turns out he was bisexual, although it was not a proclivity he indulged in often. He was extremely directive in the bedroom, to the point that he wouldn’t even say anything. He just took his massively muscular Eastern European legs and clamped mine together, while shoving his massive, thick dick in, without letting me get a word in edgewise. I couldn’t move my legs, it hurt like hell, and I screamed when I came, which he thought was a good thing and had no idea (or didn’t care) that he’d caused me pain. I didn’t call him again after that. Another stone that should have been left unturned.
11. The married Mormon guy. I didn’t know he was married. He told me he was divorced. I met him online and decided to take things slow for a change. We talked on the phone for a good 3 weeks before we met…but he had a very sexy voice, and by the end of week 1, we were having phone sex on a regular basis. On our first date, he was a gentleman, and I didn’t invite him back to my place. By our second date, I couldn’t hold off any longer and we got naked in the bedroom. He turned out to be another big guy with a small wiener who couldn’t keep it up with a condom, so despite all the lead-up with the great phone sex, what happened in the bedroom was a non-event. Neither one of us got our rocks off. We tried it again on our third date, but, again, nothing happened. On our fourth date, we were sitting on my couch talking, and he was going on about his ‘ex-wife.’ There was something in his tone of voice that suggested something was off, like he was leaving something out. It occurred to me that he might have kids, which I asked him, and he said yes, he had 3 kids. He talked about them for a little while, at which point his guilt must have gotten the better of him, and he revealed that he was still married. It didn’t take but two seconds to kick him out of my apartment.
12. J., another internet date who I fell for hard. He looked like a tall, skinny version of Bradley Whitford with a very sweet personality, good sense of humor, and great in bed. Long schlong, could stay hard for hours. He was also really into me, and initially, I thought I’d found my next ‘One.’ I really wanted things to work out with him. Sadly, he was a functioning alcoholic and drug addict, and that’s just not something I allow in my life. We dated for a few months, and then tried it again about a year later, but nothing had changed.
13. Another nameless internet connection who I met on Craigslist and dated for several months. He initially came off as an easy-going guy with a good sense of humor, but turned out to be a complete control freak, except in the bedroom. He was gentle and tentative when having sex, but tried to control all aspects of our dating life – where we’d meet, who did the driving and where, even where I could park outside his living space. Whenever I asked him to do something with me, meet me somewhere, or – god forbid – meet my friends, he’d give me all kinds of excuses why he couldn’t. It was an act of congress just to get him to agree to something. I didn’t need that kind of b.s., so I ended things.
14. G., another Craigslist connection. We dated for 6 months. Tall, good looking Asian-American guy without a shred of confidence. Sweet natured, not well educated, without the confidence to strive for anything better. And, unfortunately, he fit the stereotype of Asian guys with small penises. Not as small as others I’ve seen, but not that substantial, either. He was also not a great sex partner. He was affectionate in the bedroom, which I loved, but really not into performing oral sex on me, which I didn’t love at all. We stayed together out of desperation, as we both didn’t want to be without a partner. When I finally did the smart thing and broke up with him, though, he took it hard and became kind of stalker-y for the next few weeks. I later heard through the grapevine that he’d placed another ad on CL, and the description of the girl he was looking for sounded an awful lot like me. He even wrote in the ad, “I’m looking for someone to take me to Miss Kitty’s” (a dance/fetish club in LA where I’d taken him a few times), “but we have to be careful because I don’t want to see my ex-girlfriend there.” Ugh.
15. C., another internet connection. Ex-Marine with PTSD (or so he claimed), tattooed, pierced freak-boy, who, without the tattoos and piercings, would have looked like Disney’s Ichabod Crane (skinny, be-spectacled, beaky nose). Since I kind of go for that type, I thought he was hot. Not to mention, he was Italian-American with a FANTASTIC thick, long schlong. It was nearly perfect. And he had a scarily sexy phone voice, especially when he was telling me all his war stories. I’d get wet just hearing him talk. If he were ever to record some of his stories on tape, he’d make a mint from all the women buying them up. Sadly, he was one messed up dude, really just looking for a steady booty call, untrusting of women, and flakey as hell. Also not into oral at all. He’d last for 3 minutes and then stop. That wasn’t working for me. Nor was his idea of dating: hanging out at his place, smoking pot. We rarely went anywhere or did anything else. I finally told him sayonara. He called me back about 6 months later, trying to start things up again. I was pretty damn desperate and would have loved to experience his amazing cock one more time, but I was a smart girl and told him no.
16. J., another Craigslist connection. Not to name drop, but he’s the brother of the lead singer of a formerly well-known LA ska/punk band whose name rhymes with ‘Wishbone.’ He’s a single father, sharing visitation of his son with his ex-wife. Tall, distinguished-looking black dude. Incredible schlong, great sex the first few times. He delivered the whole package – foreplay, great oral, great breast action. He told me I had a “magic pussy,” and seemed genuinely into me at first. But the longer we dated, it became apparent that his idea of dating was staying in, watching tv, and working on becoming a functioning alcoholic. He claimed he didn’t like to go out a lot on the weekends when he didn’t have his son, since he had to go out so much when he did. That wasn’t my idea of fun, so after a few months, I cut my losses and said goodbye.
17. R. (second R. of the bunch), the current guy I’m dating long-distance. I’ve written enough about him here already. Nothing much needs to be said, other than when comparing schlongs, he stacks up to C. (# 15), and is even a little better. He’s not nearly perfect; he *is* perfect. I’m hoping he’s my next ‘One,’ which may seem like a silly construct and pointless thing to be looking for these days, but I still have my hopes of finding him. This guy seems like he has the whole package (and I don’t just mean his dick this time).
Dec 23 2008, 08:15 PM
stargazer, it was not nearly that romantic. We were together twice - both times he freaked out afterward and lectured me on how woman is the vessel of sin. He was 20 years older, which didn't bother me at all back then, but he had like zero experience. So even in the mechanical sense it was quite a let-down.
Not exactly a rainstorm in Australia, anyway!
Dec 24 2008, 01:32 AM
Going thru this list in my head, I was really a lil slut puppy DAMN. Amazing how much a person can change!
C - a crush from high school. He took my virginity at 17 - he was thick and long. We screwed a few times that summer. That is until he went back and told everyone at school all the details. I was humiliated and regretted every minute of it.
A- C's cousin *which I didn't know till afterwards*. A popular football player, yet another guy I ended up crushing on. What a waste of my affections. Great cock... but he totally had a girlfriend, and lied to me about it. The sex was good but not worth the humiliating/frightening run-in with his girlfriend and her friends.
W - my angel baby. He rescued my heart from damage those two jackasses left behind. My boyfriend at the time- senior year of high school; He was inexperienced, but an amazingly sweet, patient and caring lover. We stayed together till I went to college that fall (1999). We reconnected this year online.
AJ - My first college ass!! The first one I cheated on W with. It was alright. Wasn't very memorable except I just saw him recently. He was quite small to be such a big guy. Not worth losing my W for. Me - 18, him - 24. W and I broke up soon after this.
O - a drunken one night stand. Huge johnson! I mean HUGE. I don't remember much about him other than that. Same year. Didn't see him after that night.
TC- A college class mate; sexy, bald head, smooth shaven, athletic body. Damn. Screwed him a few times till he graduated and left school. I was 18, he was 23. Had feelings for him, but it never went anywhere.
C- met his thick fine azz walking across campus one day. He was my fantasy man. Big football player body. Sex was nice. Kinda on the rough side which I loved. But the fuccer had a girlfriend. It took me a few more times to stop seeing him. I later had a class with his girlfriend and the guilt was killing me. He kept calling me a few years after I left him alone.
J - a frat guy I'd met at a skate party the end of freshman year. One night stand, slow, gentle lover. Fast forward a few years and I find out he's one of my husband's relatives. I certainly didn't know my husband existed at that time. Lets just say family gatherings are awkward as hell! He was 28, I was 18.
A few one night stands in between - cant remember their names. HAHA they were terrible anyway.
E - wow, i'd barely turned 19 - he was 29. AMAZING lover; huge cock. We dated for a few months till I got bored with his drama and antics. He later went to jail for sleeping with an underage girl. Yeah shoulda seen that one coming right?
EC- My sweet chocolate love god. LOL Another huge cock. He was kinda geeky and skinny. Not my usual type of guy. I preferred thicker guys. What he lacked in weight, he sure made up for in size. I was in love with him. We hung out frequently and had sex for about 6 months; then when I asked him to commit he didn't want to. I was crushed. I was 21, he was 23. We ended up meeting up again a few years later.
C, B, & C - My first orgy which included my roommate. It was lackluster. Wish I hadn't done it.
AH- Guy I met on the internet when Collegeclub was hot... But he was a student at my school. We were good friends and hung out on campus alot. Went on several dates. Then finally the sexual tension was too much. We got physical for the first time in his dorm room. Then when his roomate walked in on us, we took it to his car. That was the first back seat lovin' I'd ever gotten. IT was fantastic. He and I screwed weekly for about a year. We had feelings for each other but of course he didn't want a relationship and I did. Also broke my heart, but we're still friends to this day. He still tells me he loves me everytime I talk to him. Asked me to do a 3some with he and his girlfriend. That never happened!!!
R- He was on the rebound after a bad break up. We were cool but it fizzled out after a month or so. He disappeared.
B- Cute NY guy at my brother in law's barber shop. One time, could've had a V-8 instead. Blah. Small cock, terrible sex. He caught me having phone sex with a girl that night.
L - my first girlfriend - met her on the internet. Same girl I was caught having phone sex with. HAHA. The sex was fantastic. We dated for a yr and a half and she broke my heart. Bitch. I moved outta state to be with her.
Hooked up with EC again after I moved back home. Tables had turned, he wanted a relationship. I just wanted him to screw me hard. HAHA
S- rebound guy after EC. He was actually a good friend from high school that i'd lost touch with. Lets just say the sex was out of this world good. This went on for a few months. Till I found out he TOO had a girlfriend.
J- Psycho, lying, conniving cheater that worked in a local store I used to go to on my lunch breaks. We hung out and went to lunch together. Made up some elaborate story about living with and taking care of his sick aunt as the reason he had to go home at a certain time. I felt sorry for this bastard. Hung out with him for a few months, had sex with him on impulse one day. Few days later his lie fell apart and he broke down in tears in my apartment. He revealed the truth about his live-in girlfriend, I punched him and made him get out. He became a stalker for a few weeks.
***Noticing a fucced up pattern here with the guys with girlfriends thing, eh?***
N - my sweet Georgia peach. My 2nd girl friend; she'd never been with a woman sexually. I was the giver and dominant half of the relationship. I still remember how she tastes and smells. However, she ended up going psycho on me, hacked into my emails and all that. It ended very badly. She still had a strong hold on me till 2006. We're friends now. Somewhat. I decided she would be the last woman. They were too much drama.
She was the last person I was with till I got with my husband.
Dec 24 2008, 12:47 PM
Feeling slightly naughty about typing this at my parent's place...
A: beautiful holiday romance (as I viewed it at the time) - turned out he had a girlfriend. First time, stayed with him and screwed all weekend. Not great sex. Git. I was hung up on him for ages, can't think why.
C: nicer holiday romance. We were together for a month, then he visited for a week. Very sweet, lots of fun, nice sex.
D: boyfriend of four years - looking back, I'm surprised it lasted four months. Not a bad person, but not that bright and a bit dull. We spent ages trying to liven up our sex-life before I realised I didn't fancy him! Worst sex ever was our break-up sex - I only slept with him to stop him crying....
M: boyfriend of a year, and first person with whom I had great sex! Good friend, lots of fun together, awesome cock. I was sad when he ended it, but it was the right decision as we weren't really going anywhere. I wish him well.
J: current boyfriend, together three months so far, best sex so far! Fancied him for months beforehand. Nice cock, very experimental, very affectionate. Great with his hands, and keen to improve his oral - I heart him big time.
Dec 30 2008, 05:36 PM
Every single geek on Big Bang Theory
Both Flight of the Concords.
The geeks off of the IT Crowd.
Dec 30 2008, 06:41 PM
K - first attempt at sex. Let's just say he blew up on takeoff.
C - first live-in BF, horrible sex, terrible relationship. Lasted 5 months longer than it should have because he kept crying when I'd try to leave him.
J - short-lived, he was in the Gulf War. Beautiful, beautiful guy, very well-endowed, very polite.
B - pretty boy, I think he might have been bi, though. At the very least, he was very, um, appreciative, so I doubt he was fully gay, but he was a little femme for my tastes.
J - Nice guy, but dumb. Really, really dumb. Also somewhat shiftless and lazy, which didn't exactly set my house afire.
T - my lone one night stand, and consequently, the worst sex of my life.
P - my on again, off again, non-boyfriend who nonetheless cried when I finally gave him the boot. Good at parts of sex, but not the act itself. Also the last time I ever faked an orgasm.
E - my husband. Virgin when I met him. Best sex of my life, in every way.
Jan 1 2009, 09:20 PM
J1: first time, blew quick, did it twice. long relationship broke my heart. douche...
J2: one nighter, graduation party, bad sex, worse stamina.
J3: back of a truck on a sack of deer corn, uncomfy, but adequate.
Z: good friend, good hookup.... still trying for more.. im jsut not feeling it.
W: she was fun.
T: nice and long, good sex, too needy for my tastes though.
O: weekend long thing on a camping trip... tongue ring.. those are niice.
M: great technique... a douche with a baby momma, but gooooood sex. kinky.
J4: HUGE. awesome. love that kid. we still go at from time to time.
B: bar party hookup. good sex, sweet guy. havent talked to him since. ha.
Jan 2 2009, 01:37 PM
I don't have a lot, only because I started dating at 20, had my first sexual experience at 22 and lost my virginity at 24. I had to ease up to guys and feel more comfortable sexually and with touch/affection. So here goes:
1) Received oral sex. I was too intimidated to have sex or give a blow job, so we just made out, dry-humped, he spanked and bit me, and I liked the sensation of being eaten out.
2) Lost my virginity through anal sex, thought it was OK but wasn't very turned on. Tried to give a blow job but it felt foreign and weird to me and I nearly gagged. We made out, I received oral, and got spanked and bitten.
3) Gave a real blow job for the first time, and really enjoyed it, wondering what I was so scared of. The guy really liked it, and I felt happy. Had so-so oral sex, and didn't really get off that much.
4) Had pretty bad portions, no penetrative sex as the guy wasn't up for it. Gave a blow job, but he pulled out and titty-fucked me, and I faked enthusiam, but felt cheated out of finishing the BJ. Had bad oral sex, and awkward kissing. This was back in October, and I haven't felt like pursuing sex with anyone since.
Jan 4 2009, 03:25 AM
Mm, now I guess I have to add some recent additions to my list below:
B and C - An orgas-tastic threesome on New Years Eve, stretching into New Year's Day. She's been a friend since junior high, he's an older friend of hers I had just met that week. Both wonderful lovers, knocking over the previous statement of K being the kinkiest person I've been with. We must have had sex for about 8 hours total, with a brief pause for sleep between sessions. Sorry to gush, but I'm still riding on the glow
Jan 4 2009, 04:13 AM
QUOTE(deschatsrouge @ Dec 30 2008, 02:36 PM)
Every single geek on Big Bang Theory
Both Flight of the Concords.
The geeks off of the IT Crowd.
Is this for real? If so, I bow down and am humbled in your presence. You are truly my inspiration. ...Just the idea of Jemaine Clement alone.... whew
Jan 6 2009, 06:00 AM
wow. memory lane...
G - high school boyfriend, completely clueless and far too gigantic. Like, record breakingly huge, especially for a 16 year old virgin. we had sex once, but it really didn't fit and it was awkward and horrible for me. He was completely satisfied after about 15 minutes though. He felt bad and went down on me but I was too sore to enjoy it. he was never very good at anything anyway. we broke up a million times, and even though i never cheated on him, some of these others were in between our on agains and off agains. I came out as a lesbian about 6months after we broke up. His (very hot) older sister came out two weeks later and poor G practically had a nervous breakdown over it!
P - cute nerdy boy who used to eat me out when G and I were broken up. totally fell for me, but it was just fun for me so it never really went anywhere.
S - first girlsex. She was beautiful - 5'10" blonde beauty queen, but surprisingly smart and feminist and talented. We had hot sudden sex at my Vagina Party (I directed/produced The Vagina Monologues at my college and she came to my VDAY party - we were theatre buddies). As far as I know she is basically straight, we only did it that one time, we were both drunk, but I knew for sure I was a lesbian pretty much immediately after that.
M(boy) - cute disabled kid I was buddies with. we had a playful sort of oral fun occasionally, but no big deal.
M(girl) - weird girl I should never have slept with but did it anyway just because she wanted me and I wanted a girl. I wasn't 18 yet and didn't know where the hell I'd ever find a lesbian in my small town. She smelled funny and was terrible in bed.
C - last boy I ever messed with before I came out (and then again, after, with his gf . . . see N). Oddly, the best oral sex i've ever received in my life, but don't tell my fiance!. he was kind of rough with me and very controlling in bed, something I still jill off to, but i always felt really safe with him. we were strictly for fun and we stopped hooking up shortly before i came out.
N - C's girlfriend, who was bi-curious, which prompted C (who by this time was my best friend) to encourage us to hook up. She was my first serious girl relationship (C knew about the whole thing and was all for it) and I fell for her pretty hard, but she was really just a straight girl, relationship-wise. She loved having sex with me, don't get me wrong, but it was just that for her. She only wanted relationships with men, namely C. I tried to be cool with it, but it all got totally fucked up because she liked it when we had threesomes, and I didn't mind, so we regularly did. Somehow C got it into his head that the 3 of us could go on like this forever, because he had fallen in love with me, but still loved N and knew how much we both enjoyed one another. When N found out C loved me, the shit hit the fan and I was the one left with no more N and no more C. I still regret that it ended that way and wish that I had seen it coming, since they were the two closest friends I've ever had, and now I've lost them both. They broke up shortly afterward and C continued to call me for years afterwards to profess his undying love for me.
J - slutty gf, my first official lesbian relationship (which began in a gay bar right after I turned 18), who intentionally cheated on me right in front of me and then acted heartbroken when I dumped her. At least she had introduced me to R before we broke up.
R - the love of my life, who I can't wait to make babies with (ok, with some help from anonymous california sperm). She and I have not had sex in ages (see the frustrated thread), but I still love her and hope we can work it out soon. We've been engaged for nearly four years now and would be married by now if we weren't so poor!
Jan 26 2009, 09:48 PM
I think I changed my mind.