Jan 19 2007, 10:58 AM
Ear itch. I'm phobic about eye stuff.
Every day, would you rather have:
1. Different foods that you don't like
2. A food you do like, but prepared the exact same way for every single meal
Jan 19 2007, 11:00 AM
Different foods. Nothing's wose than monotony.
Jan 19 2007, 01:19 PM
I'd take the same food everyday as long as it was one of my faves.
Would you rather die from slow dehydration or from being slow-cooked in an oven?
Jan 19 2007, 09:04 PM
Different foods. If I had to eat mashed potatoes every day, I'd go nuts.
Slow dehydaration, just knowing that I was being broiled. EEECK!
Have a house full of maggots or roaches, neither of which you could do anything to get rid of?
Jan 20 2007, 04:25 PM
Being slow cooked, I think I'd pass out sooner than from dehydration.
Roaches, maggots really gross me out.
The same food every day, if I don't like something foodwise I really hate it.
Being forced to watch football.
Having an itch in my ear, I'm too afraid of damaging my eye.
Being stuck on a really long car drive listening to Ann Coulter's audio book, or Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits?
Jan 20 2007, 06:52 PM
Pepper, no fair on the "no phone, or no internet" !!! I can't answer, I would be lost with both...But if it really came down to it, I would have to surrender my Sidekick3. The internet is the shit!!!
And culture, I'd rather have roaches...aren't maggots slimy and all bunched together all at once? And can they fly???
My question: Would you rather have AIDS or would you rather be paralyzed (quadgerplegic (sp is wrong I know))....I'd pick AIDS...I was going to say or be blind. I cant imagine not being able to move or see, I think I would take AIDS any day over either.
Jan 21 2007, 04:28 AM
Michael Bolton's greatest hits.
The no phone or internet is a toughie but I think I'd go for no phone as I could use skype online!
You're trapped in house (for whatever reason) with no food and you HAVE to eat either mouldy bread or mouldy cheese, which one do you go for?
Jan 21 2007, 11:06 AM
mouldy cheese. it's protein.
plus a lot of cheese is made from mold, anyway. hell, maybe the mold is what tastes good.
roaches. maggots make me gag.
AIDS. there are antiretroviral drugs that keep you healthy. and you can still do everything. with a condom.
hmmm. let's see.
condi rice or oprah for first minority female president?
Jan 21 2007, 11:18 AM
OPRAH OF COURSE!!
Would you rather live in Iraq or in the Artic tundra?
Jan 21 2007, 12:06 PM
Tundra. At least there's no war and you can always wear lots of layers.
Would you rather:
Get caught by your boss, masturbating in your favorite superhero outfit, or
Get caught screwing his/her spouse?
Jan 21 2007, 12:46 PM
caught screwing his/her spouse; being sacked would be preferable to a work-life of mockery.
would you prefer to discover a pubic hair in your food or a dirty band-aid/elastoplast?
Jan 21 2007, 12:51 PM
Treehugger that is a fantastic choice!!!!
I'd chose masturbation in a superhero costume.
Oprah for president.
Roaches. Maggots are vile. Ick. (I remember seeing a documentary where a dr in England was using maggots to clean out her patients wounds, and they showed pcitures. It was horrifying, and I'll never forget...)
The Arctic, I could move to Churchill, so I'd get to stay in the same province where I am.
Michael Bolton. Anne Coulter is a very bad person.
Would you rather have the bag plastic surgery of Jocelyn Wildenstein
Jan 21 2007, 01:14 PM
Michael Jackson, he doesn't look half as scary.
I'll repost: would you prefer to discover a pubic hair in your food or a dirty band-aid/elastoplast?
Jan 21 2007, 01:35 PM
Ooo boy . . . pubic hair or band-aid . . . this is tough, just thinking of both of these makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Ummmm . . . pubic hair.
Would you rather sleep with Dick Cheney or John Ashcroft?
Jan 21 2007, 01:37 PM
i'd rather the pubic hair, as it's not 100% positive that it's touched a bodily fluid, whereas a dirty band-aid obviously has.
would you rather drink a cup of water from the toilet bowl of a public restroom (average cleanliness), or a cup of liquid drained from the bottom of a trash can in a restaurant kitchen?
ETA: crossposted with imdancingbarefoot.....i'd take ashcroft, they're both awful but i don't think cheney could even get it up.
on the other hand, he might have a heart attack during the act and die, in which case, i'd pick him!
Jan 21 2007, 02:18 PM
Girls Gone Wild or Football? Can't I do both? Just kidding, I don't care about watching airheaded skanks bounce around (well, maybe a little), and I don't even like football.
Favorite food, of course! As a creature of habit, I eat the same foods all the time anyway.
Roaches. At least they don't fly.
I actually kind of like Michael Bolton. *Dodges rotten tomato projectiles*
Get caught by your boss, masturbating in your favorite superhero outfit, or Get caught screwing his/her spouse? Again, can't I do both? I guess it depends on the spouse...
Trash can liquid, considering the "average" public bathroom.
O.K., would you rather have your genitals changed to those of the opposite sex (magically, with no sergical imperfections) but still look the same OR have your appearance changed to look like the opposite sex (again magically, with no sergical imperfections) but still have the same genitals?
Jan 21 2007, 05:42 PM
Would you rather eat a pound of scabs (all clumped together so you'd have to cut slices of the block off) or drink a gallon of snot (with hard booger chunks floating around), both of which were collected from random strangers?
I would love to have a penis.
Michael Jackson's plastic surgery.
Jan 21 2007, 07:06 PM
I would rather look like me and have a penis.
I think I'd rather eat the scab loaf than the booger soup.
Would you rather be limited in communication to morse code or having to say the word "schlumpy" between every word you say (Hi schlumpy how schlumpy are schlumpy you?)
Jan 22 2007, 11:06 AM
Me with a Penis.
Okay, would you rather show up rip roaring drunk at your child's Graduation or Wedding?
Jan 22 2007, 07:21 PM
I think the wedding because people expect drunkeness at a wedding.
Would you rather live on wasabi and ginger for a month or have to lick a scrotum every four hours for a month?
Jan 22 2007, 07:27 PM
whose scrotum? nah, think I'll just go for the sushi condiments...
would you rather shave a 4" ribbon of skin off your leg (the dreaded shaving accident!), or burn off an eyebrow lighting the kitchen stove?
Jan 22 2007, 07:28 PM
Ribbon of skin...much easier to hide.
Would you rather have glass eyelashes or a silly putty nose?
Jan 23 2007, 07:59 AM
Lick scrotum, it could be fresh out of the shower, and could belong to the object of my affection, Billy Lane (provided he isn't in jail that is...). Plus, I wouldn't want to grow tired of wasabi and ginger.
Take the skin off!
Glass eyelashes actually sound pretty neat.
Would you rather be incapale of love or honesty?
Jan 23 2007, 01:39 PM
i guess love because if i was incapable of honesty, who would love me? i'd rather just not feel it if it's unrequited.
oh i love silly putty! it kind of smells good too.
would you rather have ants in your pants or slugs in your shoes?
Jan 23 2007, 01:51 PM
I think I'd rather have slugs in my shoes.
"scab loaf" Hahaha!!
Would you rather work in a sewage treatment plant or in a slaughterhouse?
Jan 23 2007, 07:27 PM
Ants in my pants I suppose.
Sewage treatment plant.
Name your child Fuckhead or Asshole?
Jan 23 2007, 07:32 PM
Would you rather have your head shaved or your butt shaved?
Jan 23 2007, 07:45 PM
ooooh! glass eyelashes! pretty! hehe
slugs in my shoes i think, cause ants would itch. i don't know that slugs in my shoes would be that bad... leeches, yes. slugs? maybe just squishy and cold? i don't know...
sewage treatment plant, for sure. there is no way i could deal with the slaughterhouse.
hmmm, i'm pregnant, so we're definitely tossing around some names... i think i'd go with asshole. i honestly have no idea why. oh, fuck it. i'll go with fuckhead! if you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly bear, right?
um, i already shave my butt sometimes, so i'll go with that.
ok, i'm gonna go with one from a LOOOOOONG time ago, that someBUSTie used in the first edition of this thread - (major props to you if you're reading this!!!! this is one that i have used IRL conversations many times as an ice-breaker or as a way to cut an awkward silence):
would you rather have five little mischevious kittens as fingers on your right hand or an angry, drunken leprechaun on your left shoulder for the rest of your life?
Jan 24 2007, 12:17 AM
Hahaha!! That's a tough one. Hmmmm...kittens are cute even when they're mischievous, but I don't think I'd want them as fingers. I guess I'd take the leprechaun. He'd be fun to get drunk with!!
Would you rather eat sweetbread (mammal's pancreas) or haggis (sheep entrails)?
Jan 24 2007, 12:59 AM
okay, um, wasabi and ginger, no contest!
burn an eyebrow off (disclosure: I've done both. no skin hurts)
glass eyelashes would rock! I could do stained glass art instead of mascara....cool!
Slaughterhouse, definitely. Poop is nasty, I can kill food.
I've shaved everything but my head before, so how about full body nekkidness! Fun!
Angry, drunken leprechaun. Kittens would interfere with my sex life.
And I've had haggis and sweetbreads. Sweetbreads were better.
Would you rather be trapped in Fred Phelps head or Ted Kennedy's body?
Jan 24 2007, 01:07 AM
LOL. Oh, what the hell...I guess I'll go with Ted.
Would you rather sound like a pissed off donkey every time you laugh for the rest of your life, or have uncontrollable ass gas in public for the rest of your life?
Jan 24 2007, 08:31 AM
Shaved ass, I suppose, because I don't have a hairy bum.
Oh the drunk leprechaun. That actually reminds me of the Simpsons when Ralph Wiggum has a leprechaun that only he can see, and it tells him to burn things.
Sweetbread, I've eaten cow tongue and haggis, so I'll go with something new.
How about Ted!
The donkey! I think that donkey's are neat-o.
I need a tough one, but not in a gross way.
How about, would you rather have a peacock tail, that you could open and show off at your command, or a spectaculr rack of antlers that you could go around a poke people with.
Jan 24 2007, 01:22 PM
Oooh...peakcock feathers sound fun!!
I'll take the donkey laugh. Actually, there was a girl in my dorm who sounded like a super loud donkey when laughing. The entire cafeteria would look in her direction and laugh at her.
I think the leprechaun would be a convenient excuse, too. Say a lady in front of you is laughing like a donkey, you could pull her hair and when she turns around, blame it on the drunken leprechaun.
Would you rather have a romantic partner with really bad breath or long, dirty fingernails?
Jan 25 2007, 06:24 AM
I guess the fingernails... really bad breath is horrendous. With fingernail dude I wouldn't let him touch my lady parts, I'd just make him go down on me all the time. Not so bad.
Say I poured a carton of expired eggnog into my toilet, and then peed in it. Would you rather drink a glass of that, or lick Dick Cheney's asshole while he masturbated?
Jan 25 2007, 07:46 AM
That is fucking hysterical! I can't even answer because I am getting horrible mental pictures and laughing my ass off. Fuck that is great!
Jan 25 2007, 08:14 AM
dude. I'd rather lick Cheney's asshole. How hard (really) can it be to lick George while watching Cheney jerk off?
ha. had to do it.
I'd rather the pissy expired eggnog. I puke all the time anyway.
Jan 25 2007, 08:44 AM
you're all nyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasty ! i love you all.
i don't think cheney masterbates. that's why he's such a dick. i don't think he even has a dick. hence the ironic nickname.
therefore, i choose pissy old egg nog, i guess.
and long fingernails. oooh scratch my back please!
yes peacock feathers would be pretty. i already like showing off my butt, so that would be an added bonus. (or bon-anus)
would you rather be permanently tattooed head-to-toe all blue or with bad song lyrics/poetry?
Jan 25 2007, 09:00 AM
bad lyrics and poetry. i'd walk around barely dressed, and let the tragic hipsters of williamsburg read off me in the local dive bars for $5.00 a minute.
I forgot to answer a bunch of these eh?
*Um shave my ass,
*the nails... cut them fuckers while they are asleep, what are they gonna leave? good take your skanky nails with you/ oh wait/ pick the clippings out of the ashtray first...lol
*leprechaun, he could make fun of the drunken unwashed hipsters
*hey I already have uncontrollable gas... SCORE!!!!
*bring on Ted, and then give me a vagina while in Ted's body / talk about fucked.
* done the skin thing and the eyebrow thing (lighting a ciggie off the stove in the 80's with that ultra high poofy pubic hair bang sprayed into teased submission with Stiff Stuff, poof bang and brows and lashes be gone., it was pretty, let me tell you), so yeah eyebrow still wins hands down. no skin takes a long time to heal, and hurts like a muthafucka.
*scabloaf / it's whats for dinner.
***Would you rather swim naked in the Hudson River for 30 minutes, or sit in a churning hot tub with 6 sweaty funky smelling sumo wrestlers for an hour?
Jan 25 2007, 03:57 PM
I've heard that the Hudson river is a lot cleaner than people think it is, so I'll take the Hudson. I just don't like the idea of "simmering" in a hottub with a bunch of stinky guys for that long.
Would you rather only be able to hear voices/conversations in song-form (like last week's Scrubs) or in "chipmunk" pitch?
Jan 25 2007, 05:04 PM
the chipmunks make my brain bleed. give me sing song peeps
would you rather eat a cereal bowl of cold rendered bacon fat like a lil piggy "A Christmas Story" style no hands face first, or stew made from possum road kill ala "White Trash Cooking"?
(and yes, there is such a thing as road kill stew, I've seen it with my own 2 eyes)
Jan 26 2007, 10:01 AM
Oh Dick Cheney, because there is a good chance he could die! If he didn't, I'ld balckmail him with it!
Tattooed with bad poetry, think of the conversations you could start! Imagine if it was blue, people would come up to you and always ask, "why so blue", not funny.
Hot tub, I could wear a wet suit, there was nothing about being naked in the hot tub.
Conversations in song form, if I had to listen to something alvin and the chipmunks-esque I'd drill my ear drums.
White trash cooking, bacon gives me bad indigestion.
Would you rather have to wrestle with a polar bear (whom actively hunt human's as their prey) or a hippo (keeping in mind that hippo's kill more people than any other animal in Africa, and their K9's are as long as a human forearm) armed with only a baseball bat.
Jan 26 2007, 04:15 PM
I might be able to take a polar bear. Hippos are way too huge and cranky to fight without getting yer ass kicked.
Ugh...I guess I'd eat the possum stew. *gags*
Would you rather be stuck in an elevator with Carrot Top or Gilbert Godfrey?
Jan 29 2007, 12:22 PM
Gilbert Godfrey, Carrot Top is a fuck-o.
Okay, would you rather have to have sex with Ron Jeremy or Dirk Diggler?
Jan 29 2007, 03:17 PM
Um...I'll take the fictional guy over the hedgehog any day.
Would you rather endure 24 hours of Milli Vanilli or Vanilla Ice?
Jan 29 2007, 08:35 PM
banilla ice. but either way you'd get to do their dopey dances.
i can never think of good would you rathers....
Jan 29 2007, 10:30 PM
Aviatrix passes so...
Would you rather walk over hot coals or have yourself branded?
Jan 30 2007, 10:28 AM
I think I'd go with the branding for body art's sake, as long as I could pick the design.
Would you rather lose your sense of taste or your sense of touch?
Jan 30 2007, 02:17 PM
Milli Vanilli, I can't stand Vanilla Ice, and I think he is a cocky little prick.
I think I'd like to be branded for the same reason as pinkpoodle, and it would depend on where. I think it would be cool to have branding.
Sense of taste, if I lost my sense of touch (and thus I am assuming feel), I'd never enjoy sex again, and how much fun would that be.
Would you rather have, as a moron repellant (or jerk, toad-y or whatever) defense mechanism be; Porcupine Quills or Skunk Smelly Spray?
Jan 30 2007, 06:35 PM
I'd take the quills so that I could physically hurt my enemies.
Would you rather be murdered by Michael Myers (Halloween) or Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)?
Jan 30 2007, 06:39 PM
I'd go with Michael Myers. I like alliterative names.
Would you rather have a conjoined twin (in this particular case, you share the same body but you have two heads) you always argue with or a small alien parasite who lives behind your ear and survives on your earwax?