Thanks for your replies star and ap. I'm seeing my mom tomorrow for the first time since she went to the ER. I told my sister that I'm not tip toeing around her, and if she starts to act like a victim that I'm going to call her on it, and tell her it's not acceptable. I really think it's going to be fine though because usually after her hospital stays she is nice for awhile, and doesn't try to argue with me.
As I stated before I am working with a therapist to work out my family issues, and finding a way to tell my mother all the things I want to about my childhood. It's going to be difficult, but my mom needs to understand that the choices she made over 20 years ago still cause hurt. I'm just having a hard time because I have a lot of sympathy for my mother. It will get better, and I can only hope that once I can talk to my mother about all this stuff that she will understand my views.