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well, here it is girls and boys. post away so you can read it and weep tomorrow over what idiotic thang you've gone and done, or weep with joy that you've only let it out in here and nowhere else.

i've had one too many and am SO tempted to call my ex. he'll be in town in a couple of days and has made it no secret that he wants to get together with me. any of you who know my history with Dirty T know that i should know better but maude-damn it! he's a sexy, sexy man and i want some hot ex-lover action! stupid, stupid me. at least i haven't actually told him that. much as drunken me wants to call him up for phone sex right damn now! sigh.
I'll get in on this! I want to call up my ex-friend and ask him who is going to wear the dress. I also want to tear him a new ass.

This is how things would go. In the perfect scenario that is my mind. I would see him and my ex out somewhere. Me looking ever fabulous, with a fine looking gentleman companion. Anyways, I would see them and go up to my former friend, and ask him "Well hey *fill in ex friends name*, I haven't talked to you in a while. I was just wondering, who is going to wear the dress? I haven't seen the wedding announcement yet" Then laugh at them and walk away with cute boy toy. If course, things will never turn out like this. Ever. If it did, I would seem completely neurotic. But at this point I am so in for humiliation. That or telling former friend that in order to make amends, I should tell my ex the real truth about what happened. That would make me look real nuts. But at this point I am all about hurting someone. Okay. Done rambling now.
i'M not done raambling. What;'s with all the fucink SOPam in he other sthreasd? I justy looked and there's trips to runnia and trips to datung websites an dthen there;s the hot blonedw wityh the gmial accout. Thesew people makes me sick! I wiyh we could ddet;eds threass. But I LOGVE the loung lady., That;'s like the best thing wever.
No, wait. The best thing ever is my CAT. Geoff. He's sleeepung in emy foot.

tear him a new ass sounds painsfuel.
I am sober, but I want to say: Don't Drink and Dial. Seriously. Or even text and dial. That way lies madness.

Have a good weekend everyone! smile.gif
Yes, drunk text is not a good thing..the best (worst??!!) was when I was on about my 6th martini and third tray of raw oysters with my brother and sister a few months ago (needless to say we were about 6 sheets to the wind at that point) and I thought it would be a good idea to text a friend and tell her about our debauchery.

The next day, hung as hell, I looked at my text log and realized I'd actually texted the person in my phone book right above the friend I thought I'd texted: a completely hot guy friend of mine who tends towards the not-much-of-a-drinker end of the spectrum. He called me a few days later laughing his ass off at me, he thought it was so funny. Oh, and he read the rambling, misspelled, drunk ass text back to me. He was highly amused.

As for me, I wanted a hole to open in the ground at that moment.
bah ha ha ha ha!! i love it so far girls. makes me want to run out for a bottle of wine. then again, Everything makes me want to run out for a bottle of wine!
ok. drunk posting. I dare not say more. But I am. yep.
Oh god I have made/said sooo many stupid things when I've been drunk that I could write a book! Really, I'm known for being crazy when drunk. I'm still trying to think about what's the worst thing I've done, but there are so many I can't choose one sad.gif laugh.gif
But the last dumb thing I said/did when I was drunk(last wednesday) was asking this guy I used to like a LOT if he was gay or not, and when he said "of course I'm not" I proceeded to ask him questions about why we never hooked up, why he never tried to do anything with me, why why whyyy! Ahh everytime I remember this, I get embarrased of myself lol
i was drunk..actually we all were...which is a requirement for odd topic conversations in my group. some how, talk about asses and fingers in them and doing it in the ass came about....and i blurted out, probably way too loud...."i like a finger in the butt, who doesn't?".....needless to say, the boys in the group were shocked and my friend H was high fiving me, laughing her ass off. i just smiled and drank up.

i mean, what else could you do?
I did go-go dancing for a vaudeville troupe for awhile and earned a pretty notorious reputation for getting completely plastered and taking my clothes off inappropriately whenever we'd put on a show. Now, this is a group of some of the hardest drinkers I've ever known, so my dubious reputation was earned with much love and ribald joking.
*HOWEVER* there was one show in particular that will live on in infamy (and on video) as the night I went a wee bit too far.
We were doing this hilarious show that was themed around the idea of a bunch of WWII era navy types getting marooned on a south pacific island full of cannibals.. I was a "sailor girl" go-go, and so basically my job was just to get up on stage and dance sexy in a skimpy outfit whenever there was an act involving sailors.
Needless to say, it was one of those nights where I didn't remember how I got home.
When I saw the videotape of the show, I was mortified. (I didn't remember the entire second half of the show, either, that's how blotto I was).
So, I guess it looks like I'll never have a career in politics, but the male bartenders who work at the venue we put on our shows *love* making me the strongest drinks they can, in hopes I'll flash them again.
If you'd ever like to see evidence of my debauchery, check out and look for the photo galleries entitled, "Spectacular!Spectacular!"
girl, i looked but can't find. better directions please....
QUOTE(pepper @ Aug 19 2006, 03:33 PM) *

girl, i looked but can't find. better directions please....

oh! Sorry, I didn't realize until i had revisited the site that the links are named differently. Here ya go:
QUOTE(saktii @ Aug 19 2006, 03:18 AM) *

So, I guess it looks like I'll never have a career in politics,

laugh.gif laugh.gif I have the same problem! One night I actually did a little something for Girls Gone Wild but it wasn't THAT bad at all! But I'm trying to get into politics/international organizations, and I hope that never get back to me to bite me in the arse!
Here is something not said, but...ahem...done...

I passed out, mid sex, with my now fiance. Now that's love.
bah ha ha ha ha!

hate to say it but been there, done that. actually, we had lots of drinx and had also taken a bunch of g so not only did i lose consciousness mid coitus (more than once) but i had to run to the can to throw up every thirty minutes or so. ve-rah romantical. we were so wasted though that we kept at it until the sun came up. what a couple of loonies we were.
I emailed both exs (not SC boy) but old exs (one I thought was missing in action) this past Friday drunk off one beer. One responded, which is amazing... But it was this whole "I miss you, we should have gotten married..." email that I sent him...

i just got ten very very stoned with cute lil cousin who i've never got stoned with before ... excuse me, with whom i've never gotten stoned with before. and his girlfriend.

driving round the block like high school kids. wicked fun. too short. i tried to lure them back to my lair. old party gal that i am.

ouch. you know you're stoned when it hurts to type .....
is that seven?? like, sevenmiles? hi!
I'm a newbie, but an old lurker type.... sad.gif sorry....

Drinking Ciders and Stouts. Can you guess what the Bartender would call this mix of beverages? I'm feeling good but not out of mind. Damn. Expensive beverages.
They are HEAVEN though. I've been drunk every night a week and a half strong on wheatbeers and stouts. yikes.
jeebus. could this thread be any more hidden? i think i sorbred up just trying to find the damn thing. ok, so maybe not. tongue.gif

um. so yeah, i'm here and i'm all drunk and now very waare of the mistake i'm making anr really trying not to corret them as i go cause that would be cheaitnng and completely against the grain of this threa, and yet i can't keep my fingers off the backspace key.

oh, shit. my fucking mp3 mix is awesome. tom waits just came on. peace out ya''l l .

seriously. that was WITH the orrections! tongue.gif

(not that thaough)

hey, mrfj... edelweiss is on.. whanna dsing?
So, yeah. I've had a couple beers. Okay, more than that. I feel inebriated. I've got a high tolerance though. I don't know if I'm drunk enough to be typing here though. This si so boring isn't it?

Hmmm. Is it weird to try to think of drunk things to say if you are drunk? Cause I amd ruk. Um. Drunk, even. Heh.

I just hit on a 22 year old guy online. I'm like 38. OMG. I could be his friggin mother. Uggggly. I think I will come back later when I'm mopre interesting.
I like this thread! Thanks pepper. I must, I won't say that...
I have had a couple of beers. I am addicted to bust so I keep coming back even though I have been on all day. I have a baby lil tiny pot belly from drinking too many beers. Damnit (?). I cannot spell that word right now. Well, I need to start drinking wine or something. ....I like boys....more than I've ever realized before. I liked girls a lot more before my current boyfriend. I maybe a little boy crazy now, and I've never been boy crazy. laugh.gif
I've had about 4 (the way I make them, make that 6) screwdrivers. Have been caring for husband, struck with stomach flu, all weekend. Am up looking at vintage dresses and Target Paul & Joe collection.

I've been a lurker forever, b/c I never feel like I think of anything witty enough to post.

Would say more, but having "I'm such a dork" feeling....
tempest- two words of advice:

keeping drinking and keep posintg.

yuppers. drunks.


i don't kknow. what htat means. fuckkit. it felt good doing. i think i'll hav a shot of something or other.

i want to give a ashout out oto the bakcspace key cuase it allowed me to post semi-graceyfully in tother threads tnoghint without miakeing fool of myself.

this thread being a n endception of rourse. using the backespare keyo ne theis thread is blasdphremy.

yah and atutss. i meant tasute. shit. that wias souppesed to beSTUFF. i had to use the backsepaece key ont hat.

eat: how come i'm theonlyy drunk on ont heis threae?

gd, am i really THST fucked up?> imneed hely.
Mmmmm....on my eight cosmo! And echoing the ashout out for backspace, and adding spellcheck, because I'm too OCD to not use it, even inebera....uh, drunk. Guided mode rocks, too!

Oh, wow, I just realized my period will NEVER be regular. Ever. I keep thinking it will even out when I grow up. I'm 32. Tennish years or so, and it's GONE. I'm weirded out, in a kinda just realized I'll never actually be an astronaut kinda way...... blink.gif

I'm sucha sing-y drunk! Remember Cornershop? "Brimful of Asha"?

singing: Brimful of Asha on the....forty-five!

wait, needs the accent:Brimfool orv asher on the....forty fiuve...

Every body needs a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom.......
keeping drunks on top since 1972.....
oh fuck yes! playing some cornershop in respent for all busties that know it ad love iv

briumfull of asha inddedd, ooooh, but the fatboy slim remix. yesm.
brimful of asha and eight cosmos? you're killing me here! (fj, i'm beating your post tally for today!) I am inebriated with the thought of outposting fuckwit - does that count? oops, people are gonna think i'm the troll.
ok. i guess we all know how falljackets spent her labor day weekend. biggrin.gif
and sixelacat? best bump eva!
eight cosmos ... not sure which would kill me first, the alcohol content or that hangover. *shudder*

*off to make a mojito, so i can join the ranks*
i'm pretty bashed, befuddled, boozed up, buzzed, canned, crocked, drinking, drunken, flushed, flying, fuddled, gassed, glazed, groggy, hammered, high, hosed, in orbit, inebriated, jolly, jugged, juiced, laced, liquored up, lit, lush, merry, muddled, oiled, on a bun, overcome, pie-eyed, plastered, plowed, potted, seeing double, sloshed, soaked, sotted, soused, stewed, stoned, tanked, tight, tipsy, totaled, wasted, zonked.

oh, thesaurus dot com, how i love thee!

but what, no snockered? that's like my favorite.
Awww, I wanna be "oiled" and "on a bun" with mando! biggrin.gif

But thanks to last night, I'm outta vodka. Stupid Labor Day liquor store hours.

Happy snockering!
Mando, you forgot the Irish standbys: langered and bollixed. Those Irish; it's like the Inuit and their multiple words for snow wink.gif

and pished and steamin' as us weegies would say!

neither of which I am, although I am a little tipsy. sssssssssh, don't tell anyone!

that's what I get for drinking on an (at that time) empty tummy and when I'm so StReSsEd.

attempting to stay out of any contentious BUSTie debates brewing ... although it rankles me how fuckin insensitive people can be.

maybe it's the catholic in me: a truly bad confession? that could hurt people and be a confession in itself? for the ears of a priest or whoever your confessor is ONLY. have some compassion or have a drink and you may feel something, rather than being ignorant and soulless.
Steamboats, we used to say. I had forgotten!
I myself like rat-arsed. and bladdered. and blotto. laugh.gif
I am a bit juiced...or moderately flushed....(had *counts on fingers* 5 russians....(black and white......and red all over heehee).....

My favorite phrase for drunk is "fractured", b/c Bing Crosby used it in Holiday Inn, and I hear his voice whenever I think it....replete with comme ci comme ca hand wiggle......

May even be brave enough to post in Kvetch! Lord knows I've been lurking there forevah.....

I am addicted to leading punctuation.....
Awww, c'mon sixela and join us over in Kvetch some time smile.gif

(though tonight is a particularly sad night in there sad.gif)

I may wait a day....I noticed everyone was rather somber (for good reason!) and don't want to crash the group hug that is/needs to be taking place......

And on a less somber note: russian #6 not only tastes wonderful, but needs to be spelled "prussian" according to spellcheck! How on earth do they have prussian and not russian?!?!

Maybe I'll start calling them prussians from now on.....(and now I hear Eddie Izzard's voice in my head saying "don't be so bloody prussian!").....

I heart Prussia!

you know what, I don't think it would ne uncool for you to stop in and offer up a hug at all. and really, we'd love to have you in kvetch! *mwah*
my d4runken rant this eventing is being brought to you by ( wait let me go get the bottle hang on a sec goddamit!) shit , fuck ok roads end 2003 pinot noir cux it's my birhtday and I'm gonnna party like it's my birthday

which meands finishing this bottle of excellent pinot by myself on my birhtday while my husband who cooked me dinnerand gave me three birthday cards goes bowling. I'm totally okay with this because he fed me, opened the bottle and did all the disehes

He rulz!I love him and my birhtday falling on atuesday toally sux becasue I can't go out and really kick it. so hear I am. Happy 33 rd to me

what really uspeste me is that some 34 yr odl who has her phd and is an associate prof at NU won a Mc ARthur grant and I still havent' finnished by masters. I am planning to have it done before 35. and then my plan is to get my Edd or Phd which by the time I am 40, I want to be done with or in the final stages
a resasonalble goal even fro a durnk.

tht last line made me lagh I am leaving all my speelling mistakes so there. its my birthday and If i can't type while drunke, wellthen fuck it.

I just wanna give out mad bustie love to y'all and if this lounge wasn't here, I 'd be a much bigger bitch. It is so valueable to me to have this space to vent. thanks ladies

miss lady j

this rant is also rbrought to you by The Crank County Daredevils, Kings of SLeaze the vbest band you have never heard of !! they rock. it's my fucking birhtdcay so there.!!!! yeee hawww shit I am wasted this is totally the thread for me. lovelovelovel
A happy drunk birthday, missladyj!
thanks bunny!!!
drinking and IMing and listening to new ani d on a saturday night. it's only a matter of time before i finish off the wine and move on to the beer and start going though my cell phone phone book. i think some dangerous texting is in order. need more drink!

gah. i'm in the bell jar.
2 glass of wine and 1 white russian with organic choco milk....deeee-runk! I need diner now....yeah, gotta figure that out....and then the beer. No more work tonight - I've had ti!
I've had nearly 3/4 of a bottle of really good and expen$ive Chianti, I'm going to be paying for this in the morning in more than one way!
The cheap Trader Joe's wine is hitting me already. I feel so loose in a Mr. Gumby sort of way. ::laughing::

I'd better clean all the shit off my bed now because I can tell I won't be able to do it later... heh.

Back later with drunken ramblings. Sends me into hyperspace when I see her pretty face... she's just a cosmic girl from another galaxy................. Fuck yeah Jamiroquai.
We just opened a bottle of New Glarus Tart Raspberry Lambic for dessert....YUM....expect more ramblings later...unless I fall asleep on the couch, which is a distinct possibilty.
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