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My apologies for my post here last week. It was inappropriate for the topic and obviously a real downer; not the intent of this thread, I'm sure. I know there are more appropriate threads for those types of ramblings. So, "party on, dudes!". I'll take 40 lashes with a wet noodle (or should that be in the Fun with Floggers thread? rolleyes.gif )
bob, no need to apologize for being honest. take care of you.

I was actually sober but while sitting down on the couch with a glass of wine, I somehow managed to spill it on the comforter, the wall, the floor and a book about wine. I am a classy broad for sure. it would have been less funny if I was shitfaced when I did it, but no, I w as sober. it was my first glass. I crack myself up.
Seriously, no need to apologize, Bob. We cool. You're one of us, you say what you need to.
I am totally SPEEDING today! The doctor? He gave me some pills around eight or something AM & I am FUCKED UP! I done pissed off somebody, but I don't know who or care because I am HIGH as a motherfucker! I'm not even sure what he gave me, but I am SPEEDING!
ok I've just realized that I've forgotten to take my meds for 2 days and i got really fucked up tonite and I honestly can't remember much clearly except a couple of things and I feel like an ass - partially because I'm totally fucked up and partially because I kind of remember babbling on but I don't know what i was saying and I'm never this out of it. and I know I was talking to R and told him he needed to go home because sometimes we need a break from each other and I'm not really sure what I said after that - and FUCK. 1/2 of it was just genuinely being fucked up and I think that 1/2 of it was the meds thing. I know it's ok to drink when I'm taking these, but to gap out like that - it's not good to drink with it. and I've been told. and I just.... UGH. I want a big hole to open up and to fall in. I just don't want anyone to see me.


zoya inebriated rambling - oh god. I feel like an ass, and I can't even remember much of last night. Except that I had no gauge. ugh.
zoya -- it happens to everyone. I was just realizing that one of my good guy friends hasn't talked to me since I rambled on to him drunkenly. He was feeling down and to cheer him up I think i told him he was hot or something.. I just hope I didn't say anything that offended him too badly and has caused this lack in communication. I really don't remember.. and still, I feel terrible about it, not even knowing. I also should not drink, because of meds. But occasionally I do.

Currently I am on a self-imposed drinking ban. Until Christmas at least. Its supposed to be for the sake of weight-loss, but also I think it'll help me mentally.

hiddenpoet...LOL!!!!!!! i dont know why that struck me as utterly hilarious, but it did. and probably because i know the feeling. i am a little more than cleaning-challenged. haaaaaaaaaahaaa......... laugh.gif
....not really drunk but had enough red wine to just not give a damn. (it's bunnyb and mornington's fault. ha) clearly my recent posts testify to this.

of course the fact I've had a copper implement stuck up my hoo-ha and been dumped in the last week are supporting this I-don't-give-a-fuckery.

Not inebriated, but opening a bottle of nice Sauvignon Blanc and settling in... to watch a Mike Leigh film. For me, this is the ideal Friday night right now.
the downside to being hammered by 8pm is that you have a tendency to wake up at 3 am sober and hungover dry.gif
reviving the thread. I've been at least pretty buzzed every night for the last 10 days. guess what? I don't give a fuck. guys can fuck off, my shitty fucking job can fuck off, and pretty much everything else can fuck off. yes, I went there. FUCK THE HELL OFF.

ps - you know the best thing for getting rid of a hangover? Take a 3 mile run. Or take an 8 mile hike. Or do a long Yoga session. yes.

pps - I pretty much sound like a maudlin alcoholic there, but whatever. fuck it

ppps - that whisky and water was pretty lovely, though.

Fuck 'em all, Zoya!

I was so fucked up on Thursday night. Soooo fucked up. This tool sat down next to me after my friend left. He was really aggressively shoving his right leg into my left, expressing his interest. I thought it was funny that he found this to be a flirting technique & didn't bat him away immediately. He admired my recent pedicure & told me he really liked feet. As time progressed, he asked about my teeth, cos, y'know, I'm a fucking horse. HE WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD ANY SILVER FILLINGS & ASKED TO SEE THEM. I guess they got him hot. huh.gif Uh, no. I rebuffed him, but he came back for more. I finally said, "Look, you know what? If I weren't half in the bag I'd have told you to go fuck yourself about five minutes after you sat down next to me. I am merely tolerating you at this time. Don't fuckin' push it."
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Mar 24 2009, 03:32 AM) *

wtf? blink.gif
OH god, the benefit to not drinking on a regular basis is having a reallllllllllllllllllllllllly low tolerance for the sauce. HOly schniekes I am wicked buzzed. I think I shall continue. Yup.
Whoa. Wait, he wanted to SEE YOUR FILLINGS?!?! Did he want to tongue them or something? WTF. What kind of come-on is that................ I mean, right, unless you're Mr. Ed, which you're clearly NOT. ahaha! blink.gif
I'm on my second glass of wine and it isn't even 5:00 in the afternoon yet. Does my early schedule allow for such things? I just really want to fall asleep early tonight so that I am on tomorrow at my review. oops
This just cracks me up (I crack me up)!

My 22nd birthday, karaoke bar with a dozen or so friends. Such a FANTASTIC time tongue.gif

flashback to a 7th grade pool party: my gf Nicole (the host) is pissed that our gf Seasen didn't thank her when leaving. Nicole says this is very rude. Bad social etiquette. This is permanently engraved in my head.

Flash-forward to the karaoke bar at closing time: Lots of hugs and kisses and "thanks for coming"s. and lots more "thanks for coming"s. My bf at the time takes me back to my dorm and spends the night. I wake up the following morning, and the first thing out of my mouth... "Oh my god, did I remember to thank everybody for coming?". "Yes, Angela. For about 20 minutes. You were holding people up".

I really wanted everyone to know that I appreciated their coming laugh.gif
Christine Nectarine
ok, so i know that "beer before liquor makes you sicker", but what of beer before wine? i want to know.
by the time you tell me, it will be too late. oh well.

A is tired tonight from work, and it is such a draaaag....never thought i;'d use that word. i'm feeling the best i have in weeks, and want for portions. no fair!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beer before wine, everything fine.

That said, the real trick is you can only mix any two things only (beer + whiskey, beer + wine, wine + vodka, etc).
i love that rhyme. me and my friends used to just make things up, so we never remembered which was the original one.
beer and rum, and you are done.
vodka and beer and i can't steer.
beer and whisky makes me frisky.
despite the rain and cold yesterday we helped some friends buy and set up a new grill on their back porch. I should say my girl and I laughed while we watched two men set it up then went to the store for beer and stuff to grill. I had been drinkin since about 4pm around 10pm was when I got slap happy.

During a game of trivial pursuit I got asked the question " What do men cut 94 miles of in a year? "

Without missing a beat I said " FARTS! " and then proceeded to be unable to stop laughing for about 15minutes. my stomach is sore and everytime I think about it. I start to giggle. I am hilarious.

if you are wondering the correct answer was wiskers. farts is a way funnier answer.
I have a really nice combo of vodka and pot following through my system right now. I'm glad I decided to go out tonight.
Ohhhhhhhhhh good god! I counted and realized that I have had 8 !!! drinks tonight. I am shocked at my good typing. Anyhoo, I wish so badly that I could write a drunken "please take me back I love you" letter to my ex - boyfriend. But even in my ridiculous state I know that that is a bad idea. Plus I don't want him to think that even in a drunken state he's all that enters my mind.

anyway, i'm about to do the white person thing. tonight i drank:

3 cosmos
3 vokda 7s
1 sex on the beach and
1 Mike's hard lemonade with berry flavour. or something.

blah. I need to go to bed.
I lost my pot virginity tonight. Made brownies with prophecy, stargazer, humanist and ladyselena. Um, it's not bad. It seems like what being drunk would be like if I didn't just feel kinda crappy after I drink too much (and by "too much", I mean 2 drinks. Yeah, I feel crappy pretty quickly with most drinks.) I wouldn't say it was an amazing, life-altering experience (other than now being able to say I'd done it) or anything, but it feels good and I'd probably do it again. We ate the brownies about 5 hours ago and I still feel pretty good. It's interesting how the sensations and feelings you notice change over time.

My Facebook status right now says "Toasted. Nicely toasted." (Simpsons reference)

I had my wisdom teeth out last week and had nitrous for the first time since I was a kid and had a tooth pulled. I really didn't like that, and am much happier with this.

Well, I'll come back tomorrow and proof-read all of that, once I'm sober again.

Wow, that all took about twice as much concentration as I would have needed if I was sober.
*snicker* now you have to try smoking it, poly. esp. with that gang, i'm sure you'd have a ball.
Good to hear, Polly! We weren't sure if you felt anything. The drive home was amazing with the air hitting us. We will definitely get you outside after eating brownies next time.
Eating it is definitly better than smoking it.
Y'know how there's some heroin addicts who are phobic about needles and won't shoot it? That's how I am about smoking, in general- never smoked a regular cigarette, and have no desire to start. I'm not phobic, per se, but I just think it's gross (for me- I don't care what other people do.)

Woke up earlier than I thought I would. Sleepy, but still feel good.
Glad it was good for you, polly. smile.gif I am still stoned. It's definitely wearing off, but I'm still feeling it.
i wasn't looking down on you for the brownies, polly, personally i like the smoke high better.
I wanna try eating it! Smoking it gives me a sore throat and headache. smile.gif
Ohhhhhhhh man I'm really stoned and it's raining so hard outside, it's so beautiful! And it's like the best sound in the world, I love the rain so much.
hehe...ccg isn't it great how being stoned makes everything beautiful?
lol, the funny thing is that later that night I got a headache because of that extreme weather change. It was still cool to watch though.
<sigh>.....blissful mary jane.....
18 year old bourbon and certain Bruce Springsteen songs makes me download Flogging Molly. I'm going to regret this in the morning but fuck it, I love the album I'm downloading.
Ugh, had waaaaay too much to drink last night. It started off with some very strong cosmos followed by a couple of shots followed by two more drinks that I really didn't need. I haven't felt this bad since New Year's.
Perhaps my inability to type in my code/user name should have been a clue, but I have spent the night drinking extra dirty vodka maritinis and am feeling way too good. Now comes the happy smoking portion of my night. First night of actual drinking since single, and it was way too fun. a good reminder of how many good friends I have if only I reach out. And yet, I wish there ther ewere somenone other than my trusty hitachi to fuck me to sleep. Hopefully mary jane and her firneds will kill that particulat deiare for me, at least tonight.
Oh lordy am I hungover. Hopefully I'll be doing better in 5 hours which is when I have to go over to my friend's place for a pre-wedding ceremony. I went to her place last night and she invited me to come out clubbing. Her sister paid for 3 bottles of Grey Goose for everyone to share. Oh, and she bought a few shots. Apparently not having a price limit equals me drinking more.

I ended up sending cc_boy a drunken email about how beautiful he is and then describing my post drinking McDonald's order. I want to go back to bed.
lol, cc_boy just sent me an email telling me to enjoy my smoke and enjoy watching Law and Order. It's making me lol because he knows me so well!
I didn't drink that much last night but I feel very ill today. I think it's because the drinks that I did have were sugary...


Last night was pretty fun, but my friend who was having the party at her house got sick, and I ended up cleaning up her puke and shooing everyone out of her place and then cleaning up afterwards. And I was pretty sober when i was doing that, but still I feel sick. Not fair.
Oh man, it's 3am, two horus later than I told myself to be home (cause mom is visiting). But whatever. I had fun with my friends talking about random shit. It was a goooood night!
I am on a killer trip right now. I think I should meditate. You know, I realized that this is a great way to mindfullness! Listen to the right tunes and the only moment is the present moment on a good high. It's been a while since I got this deeply philosophical when high.

ETA: So yeah, I started puffing again... this the BUI* thread for weed too, not just alcohol? ah, yes.

* * *

Streaming Solaris from google videos for the N-to-the-power-thereof'th time I just realized... the friggin subtitling technician doesn't know a word of Russian! And Russian being a slavic language it's longer than English so I have a feeling they warned him: let them speak a good while and then punch in the next line. So the poor guy operating a button (who got handed an otherwise alright translation ) is sitting there clueless and randomly measuring speech vs print. Result: The translation lags anywhere between 3 and a good 5 to 8 minutes... Thank god for the many silences in Tarkovsky so the subtitles almost catch up but this is absurd. Like, another level of surreal Tarkovsky had no clue was possible. (Which totally serves his taste, of course, and his kinky sense of immortality.)
Example: I am listening to A:*two scientists converse in Russian about the ethics of science - people like you, doctor, should not be let loose in space, it is fragile there, everything is fragile./ Science has to be founded in morality to be valid, otherwise it should be banned/ and all that* ---- and the subtitles streaming under it in real time are from an earlier scene, B:*a boy freaking out because there is Something in the garage, and the mom asks what's wrong, and the boy says with a shaky little voice: "There is something. It's just standing there and LOOKING"... Turns out, it's a horse, but the boy from the future has never seen a horse, so it's scary.*
I'm reading and listening, in two different languages, two different scenes. So the mind struggles to make sense right, the mind struggles to put these two in a meaningful pattern and tie a bow on them.
And of course there are connections, just take A/B as the tenor and B/A as the vehicle of the metaphor:
- the horse is an instrument which measures your fear when you don't know what a horse is
- On the flipside: science is scary without the ring/name of morality on its curious nose -
then cross-breed the two:
- the unknown monster in the garage, then the act of putting a name to it: "Horse", and it becomes tame AND beautiful. (seeking to name or be named. another power relationship crossing the LOOKING glass)
- science is just sitting there LOOKING. But oh that look is so scary because the coin of its realm is HOW and not HOW BEAUTIFUL.

(oh, I am so innocent here! This thread is called Ramblings, I cannot be busted;)

There are many more (simpler/ more elegant) parallels to make... But the thing is, even if there are NO parallels, there still WILL be. If the mind cannot find them, the mind will make them... it will adjust the light and torque the angle, but it will find a way to make sense of why a horse is like science, and NOT blame it on the subtitle tech. . . and after 10 minutes of thinking this madness - I realized this is what defines humanity to me, not the "smiling muscles" or the capacity to dream, but this need to find parallels between totally unrelated fields of experience and say: Oh, this is like this so I have an excuse to LIKE it. And that's how we know things even if we have never seen them. And we crawl on that bridge of metaphor till we get carpet burn, and will not stop.
But, um. That's me, and I'm stoned.

So... Yeah, let's see if I'll feel the need to delete this when I wake up;)

*Busting Under the Influence
Oh, and the punch line:
This is what creates reality, us buzzing like bees between the flowers of horse and science.
This is what turns the Wheel.

Now I can go to sleep all expressed;)
7sec... Tarkovsky when smoking: that's old school and arguably one of the optimal experiences. Hope you enjoyed (and don't delete your post)!!

Mister and RT are both away and I have celebrated halloween thus far by watching Into the Wild (surprisingly good) while drinking a cotes du rhone by the fire, before dancing around the room to old Heart. Call me a hermit but this makes me happy.
Holy fucking hanna am I ever high right now.
ETA: Yes, I contradict myself, I contain multitudes.
I mean, we can express our needs (for aftercare) AND do it in a not buzz-killing non-demaning playful (game) way.
Or can we?

Moved my thesis on Games here - because I AM silly high on a bucket of hormones - it's my monthly PMS theorizing compulsion. AND i didn't want to clog the entire Relationship thread with my views on life.
Also, here I might get cut moral slack for being inebriated;)

But feel free to answer in The Relationship thread. I just hate to wait civil amounts of time before I can post today. My way of celebrating Write Love on Her Arm: To not hold back on what I feel a need to say?

So there. The term *playing games* is often misapplied and there is this kinda "consensual" game playing that serves a purpose and has its place.

These games, methinkst, are highly ritualized behavior which ensures that person A and person B are compatible enough to read each other's signals: It's about establishing a language. It's not like we come with instructions. Games are a way of learning each other. Our strengths and our limits. Egrets dance, lion seals rip gouges into each other's blubber, humans play games: all in good faith that if we pass that test, then when we take our clothes off, we will be on the same page. And when we put our clothes back on again, we'll still be talking.
And even if I did keep a log of all the ways I react and cover my reactions, if I just up and handed it to him - that would be not only boring, but unsafe. How would I know that he'd know what to do with me, faced with a situation that's a deeper level of fucked up, one where I really don't know why I am reacting this way, and to what? If he didn't get through level one on his own?

Now. I hate stupid *I want every cunt/cock in the county to be aiming at me* campaigns as much as the next gal, and please let's agree that we are NOT talking about that high school use of playing games - but there are some games that prep the syrup to flow sweeter, deeper, darker...

I don't know. Just seems unfair that there is this overall branding of games as entirely negative.

Second: For some people this is not even a conscious behavior. It's their equivalent of checking if they turned off the gas 17 times. They can't leave the house without it.
What I'm saying is, we can't decide a person sucks just because they seem to play games. All it means is, they are not entirely comfortable in their skin. Or not entirely comfortable with the traditional power equation. Or not entirely comfortable with comfort. Now that might be a deal breaker for some of us, but it doesn't automatically make the game-player a total jerk.

Am I alone in thinking like this?
*Ducks behind some recycling containers till the initial storm of eggs subsides*
Dear country of residence,

I have long accepted that you (and the larger archipelego to the east) are in seriously deep denial about the fact that winter comes here too. I have a medium-term strategy for this which involves getting the hell out. In the interim however, seeing as I now have a head cold due to ongoing perisistent lack of adequate heating in any indoor area (especially all the expensive bars we went to last Friday--won't be visiting your frozen wasteland of a premises again, nifty city centre bars 1, 2 and 3) I am sitting on top of a storage heater in addition to our regular heating, and wearing a hoodie--and am finally really warm for the first time in about 2 months.

Also, in relation to the forthcoming budget? Fuck that noise, and the imminent (additional) tax cuts: I didn't make this mess, nor did I profit from it in any way. Here's a handbasket, what's your hurry? Oh, and I'll send you a postcard once I get out.

It was beautiful between us once, but now I feel we have nothing in common. And I'm cold all the time and paying hundreds of euro in heating, and still wearing layers. It's not like you're Glasgow or in any way cool anymore, so frankly it's not worth sticking around.

(Unless I get that job, at which point I will solemnly swear to teach your entitled youngsters until they can't see straight. Hey, I'm flexible; I want to do the work more than I want to move; which is a lot.)

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