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Somehow my brain seems to have crossed John Wayne Gacy with Bob Berdella. (cross-breeding serial killers in my head? greaaaat.) Perhaps we should all just be wary of people named Bob (I know I am).

I didn't realize it had risen to urban myth, bun, but if there are killer clown myths I would assume they trace back to him. Aided by many Tromaville movies, of course.

For some reason I just never ran into people who were afraid of clowns until I got to KC, so I just associate it with here. Ages ago I went to Las Vegas with a girl who could barely walk in/out of Harrah's (where we were staying) because of the jester statues at the entrance.

Human brains are weird.

Although I am totally loving the image of mini-AP punching a rodeo clown in the junk. Seriously, that one's staying with me for a while.

It's named Gary Coleman? That's almost weirder than the drink....
I can indeed testify to zoya being a sick fuck wink.gif.
Actually I could see how that cocktail could work: the Guinness would cut across the OTT sweetness of the rum n' coke. I bet it would mess you up though...

The question is why is such a combination of booze called a Gary Coleman? What does the Guinness head signify, f'instance?

*goes back to twiddling thumbs*
why, why, why would you ruin a perfectly good rum and coke with guiness? why? and why would you call it gary coleman?

clowns are... freaky. I can understand why people have a phobia of them...
I have no idea why that would be called a gary coleman.... it's small with a dark head? uh....

it is suprisingly good, though. I think you are supposed to ideally make it with morgans or sailor jerry rum, but any kind will work. The bit of guiness kinda brings out the cinnamon-ey taste in the rum.. it's not weird at all, seriously. I wasn't told what it was when I had one, and when I said "mmm this is good!" they told me what it was and I couldn't believe it.
drinking margaritas and mr hottie mc hott hott is on his way over with a litre of tequila and woo!!
Lil' bit o' whiskey aka *crown royal*, and some "Eye of the Hawk" got a ________ like - WHHHHAAAATTTTT/
omg I did not remember writing my last post. suprisingly I feel fine today. no action. mr hottie mc hott hott is ambivalent. actually, so am I to some extent.

wait wait wait, there is a drink named after Gary Coleman? AWESOME!

I have one word to say: BEER

that is all
whoa, the talk in here about clowns and such is TOO intelligent for the inebriated ramblings people. let's keep it simple and stupid. 'cos i like to talk about stoopid shit when i'm trashed.

have a nice buzz from this young's double chocolate stout.

i agree with missladyj: beer!

man, this drink is a combination of 2 things i love...alcohol and chocolate. what else could be better?!?
I love the fact that hubby keeps both the vodka and the martini glasses in the freezer. I am a cheap date, two martinis and I am down for the count.

it's like Dorthy Parker sez " One martini , two at the most, three I'm under the table and four I'm under the host"
I love that quote, ladyj! In fact, I have martini glasses with it etched on the side!

And where else would one keep the vodka besides the freezer?! Elsewhere would be like keeping the toilet paper in the couch cushions--wrong on so many levels...
awesome glasses sixel! We also have beer mugs kept in the freezer too. Just another perk of being married to a former bartender. He also taught me how to make great bloody mary's.

I am wondering why I don't have a bottle of bailey's irish cream in the house to go with my morning coffee.
missladyj, go buy a bottle of bailey's! i went through an irish coffee phase about a couple of years ago. great way to start the morning.

so, i'm here finishing off this bottle of wine. feeling all verbose. wondering why i stay in the profession i'm in and not go into something else. oh yeah. school debt. doctor status. but, damn, yo. i'm tired of being treated like a flunky. i just want to have fun. i think i actually just want to be appreciated in what i do and i feel like i'm not getting that here. argh.

more wine to feel better.
3 tecates + sunshine = happiness

happy memorial day bitches!
not drunk, but just wanted to say that I found out the hard way - and a doctor confirmed it - that I cannot metabolize the sugars in stuff like bailey's, kahlua, etc - the super creamy, sugary liqueurs. And also super sugary, thick drinks. I seriously can drink one glass of bailey's and be three sheets to the wind. Two small white russians put me into a black out a couple months ago (and I had one of the worst nights of my life, with the shit I know that I said, ugh) anyway, very interesting. I think back over the years when I've said to people "I really didn't drink that much, but I was so fucked up" - and they'd be like "yeah yeah, whatever" - but those were the times when I was drinking something involving a thick liqueur, not a clear liquor like vodka or something. So I really DID get super fucked up from hardly drinking anything. crazy shit. Now I know what to avoid.

now, however, as for vodka....
Not drunk. I learned my lesson. No more posting when half in the bag unless it's here because my thoughts aren't cohesive. I try to be thoughtful & I'm almost always logical, but when the booze enters the picture . . .

I'm the same way, Zoya. A night involving vodka/RedBull shots taught me a serious lesson: I do crazy shit & fall into a d-hole. I went to a birthday party the other night where people were buying foofy shots & I kept refusing. Somebody finally got offended. I explained, & was basically poo-pooed. "That can't be true!" It is. My body simply can't handle the sugar.

That being said, I finally made some friends here & I now realize what a HUGE mistake it was. HUGE. I thought these girls were fun. Uh, no, they're drunken loonies. The one is loud & extremely CRASS (And if AP is calling somebody crass, that's saying something!) & the other is just batshit. I went to a family picnic at their place & as soon as everbody left, this girl downed several margaritas, a beer, & a (un)healthy amount of Bacardi in under an hour. I got to hear about her mother's schizophrenia, her father's absentee-ism, the fact that she has psychic powers (But that she got tired of the voices & learned to turn it off), she told the future, did tarot, she'd been raped three times. She also insisted she wasn't a racist (Why is it those people are always lying?), but she used nigger, wetback, beaner, spic, white trash, chink, etc. And she railed against Asians for about twenty miuntes, but "I'm not racist!" Did I mention that this was only the second time we hung out? Or that her daughter was having a slumber party?

too drunk. time to dance.
If he dies on the way home, it's not your fault. He's been drinking all day. You tried to make him stay. He's not your responsibility.

I still offer peace to the Virgin Mary even though I'm not Catholic. She was just pretty & I think she got a bad rap. She might be a maiden or a virgin.
oh my g to the awd. Did I drunk dial my ex and tell him about my new job and what not? I don't remember having done so. I've only had this new job since last week. and known about it's potential for two... *smacks self on forehead*

Oh no... did I? sheesh. that's no good. no drunky dial the ex's. bad bad bad. mad.gif *repeats smack on forehead*

I'm trying to steer clear of the hot stuff, or at least.. really watch my intake as I've found because of my current instability with life, I tend to show my ass (not literally). I kinda wish that I did show my ass literally as opposed to making an ass out of myself. MY ass is way cuter.

I also find currently that when I get too drunky that I tend to harp on past relationships in my mind... doing compare contrast shit that is just downright tarded. I know it stems from insecurity, which I suffer abysmally from, and my issues with my current bf. But, WHY do I have to let loose my insecurities when I drink too much te-kill-ya? so embarrassing.

AP--I had the same experience with making friends when I lived in TN. They were horribly pseudo-intellectual and "members only" about their town. It was so much so that I was blatantly not incorporated into conversations on even a common courtesy level, and eye contact was at a loss. Why was I invited? oh yeah, cause one of the guys wanted to get into the wee pants. ughhh... AND Yeah, when a gal divulges that mess in such a short span of time, and so much as hints or whispers a racist insult... run to the hills! (enter iron maiden riff). What a mess! grrrr...
CRAP i am hungover. and it's thursday. and i had A LOT to drink. on wednesday night. fuckity. i can no longer hang. boo.

uhghghghgh time for work sad.gif
So I've been drinking some good Sancerre, and my lesson's really hard to type whilst pissed (drunk for you yanks).

Damn. This is why I never, ever work if I've drunk anything.

Random good things: my boss is generally awesome: she is a feminist, knows my deal and just gets me. That doesn't often happen... she's cool. And lets me wear converse...yay!

I hate:accounts: man, new job means I have to learn them. HATE. But good for the CV. I guess. Don't want to ever to do them again.
Love: tjhat boss gets me. Never happens believe me.

OK: Too hard to type.
Hello... no-one else out here with me and my crap writing abilities..?

*hic* (honestly, holding my breath for a while now...)

/massively edited for sense and spelling
Queen Bull
so tired. was so drunk last night.
had a handle of Captain Morgan, bottle of Jaeger and 6 people.
all the liquor is gone.
we didnt even start until 2:30 in the A.
did i mention i was tired?
Ooooooooh lordy I've had a few drinks. I'm honestly not even sure how many. Just vodka and 7 up, my favourite. I'm going back to my own place tomorrow and I am sooo going to miss my best friend, my mom and my dog (aka my baby). but seriously, I just feel so full of love for them. I'm having a pretty good ngiht. Anyhoo, I need to go eat some bad for me food just seems like a good ida right now. god I wish i had some taco bell.
ok, kinda drunk. Unexpected drunk because I ended up out with friends I didn't even expect to run into.

but that's ok, because I ended up talking to my crush. FUCK, he likes to read. Loads. and he even asked me "who was the author that made you want to write" ARRRGHHH!!! sexy!!! .....and he's got a stupid fucked up sense of humor. my total achilles heel. and he's talented. Oh ... and he has a wee bit of Jack Black to him. physically and sense of humor wise.

oh I'm fucked. fucked, I tell you. (in terms of boy) I had to run away and get a taxi home. and i forgot to say goodbye to any of my friends I had to run away. (well, I had to run away after he had to leave at the same time and we walked to taxis together. Unfortunately we were going in opposite directions so two separate taxis.)

god, I hate crushing on someone. but oooh how I want to get in his pants. and brain, no less. argh!!!

went to a bbq friday. much beer.

now I am covered with mosquito bites and itch.
Queen Bull
ok, so not my inebriated ramblings perse, but listening to flaming gay guys, whom are PLEASANTLY drunk talk about how oprah has eyes everywhere, is the sicilian mob and WILL have you assassinated for talking bad about her magazine, is HILARIOUS. i love it....
From across the room I call his name, he turns his head and kisses his pillow. My heart melts.

My mental belltower-sniper yawns, letting her rifle slip to order-arms.

Cripes, Rudderless, you make me want to hang up my hat. I should be a postal worker.
No, I was drunkenly IMing with a boy last night. He likely thinks I'm a loon now. Procrastinating damage control.
oh I've been inebriated. I was so inebriated last Friday, in fact, that I couldn't even functionally use a computer. I did, however, wrestle on the floor (clothed!) with one of my girlfriends. In the middle of a room full of people.

needless to say, this has been a week of self-imposed detox.
i got so drunk monday that i was still drunk tuesday evening...

i spent way too much time 'talking to the toilet.'

After a loooong week, I expect to be inebriated later tonight--but want to stay somewhat sensible for the VP debate which will air here maybe after midnight...

I could be back later!
Tonight does not bode well for my sobriety. I'm going out to dinner with a friend & she tends to get to' up from the flo' up. She likes the Long Islands.
If I am going to watch the debate, I will be drinking at least a little.
OMG, Long Island Ice Teas..... I have not heard those words in years. Many a puke filled night has been fueled by that drink..

I used to go to a club in Boulder that made a drink called a "Chernobyl" Basically it was a long island ice tea, but with midori. In a pint glass. And yes, it glowed under black lights. two of those babies and you'd not have a care in the world. Until you puked it up, that is....
Okay, people will probably think that I am an idealistic ditz and I probably am, but my hard cider has reminded me that I really enjoy being alive at this time in politcs when Barack Obama, a Black man, can be one step away from the Presidancy. I remember in junior high school, learning about what was expected from an actual President and my teacher said that he never thought he would see the mold broken.
I don't know what will happen next but I just feel kind of proud right now.
And a little drunk.
I am inebriated and unhappy. So it goes. I may have to bust a move to Buffalo Stance to make me feel better...
Best friend is in town. Large bottle of wine in my posession. Plans to go to an Irish bar. Inebriation, here we come.
... going to have lunch with a friend. Today and tomorrow are my "weekend" this week, and I'm planning on drinking copious amounts of red wine. I don't care.
I think I'm still kinda drunk.
I think I am drunk... I had four beers at the bar and am currently drinking watermelon vodka... I am sitting on the couch in my Pj's watching SNL and feel like I am the kind of drunk where you don't realize how drunk you are until you stand up... Which won't be for a while.

Loves you all!!!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH. Hee hee.

i just drank 5 whiskys and now I am watching election results. I also told my guy friend who is very close to the guy I'm seeing all about meeting said guy I'm seeing, him asking me out, and how much I like him. ARGH!!!! fuck. I'm drunk. I'm also eating freezer pizza and I think I'm gonna end up sleeping on the couch because I can't be bothered going to my bed. yay obama. woo!

Had a bad day yesterday and just wanted to get lost in it. So I took an extra anxiety pill...followed that with a couple vodka-mix chasers and ended up at the local adult bookstore, where I played the whore for several men at a glory hole.

Not feeling too good about myself for what I did, while thinking of doing it again. I'm messed up.
Jinkies, Bob.

I was gonna come in here & pretty much say I'm loaded, but damn, man. I just sorta sobered up real quick like after reading that.

You did what I guess you needed to do, but, y'know, shout us a holla when/if you're feeling that bad. No judgements, man, NONE AT ALL, just a tad bit worried about ya. You gotta be hurtin' if things got that out of control. I know I come across as a total asshole, but I am a good listener. I gots the time & am more than willing to help a fella out. So, y'know, I'm here if you need me. Really. Anytime. I got your six, man.
drunk and depressed. one feeds off the other. hooray! i'm going to bed.
drunk again, but happy this time! TWELVE THOUSAND PEOPLE in my neighborhood alone showed up tonight to protest the passing of proposition 8. this is fucking thrilling and we are making history. we may not get gay rights legalized this year, we may not get it legalized this decade, but IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. it is just a matter of time. shit is going down, people are voicing their opinions, and things are changing. i love this motherfucking country so much right now.
he told me earlier and i didn't give it much thought until now, a screwdriver and a half in. he wants to talk when he gets home from work tonight!
talk about what? we never make plans to talk!
i hope that this isn't about anything dumb like that i haven't vacuumed in three weeks or something like that.
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