Jul 16 2006, 06:19 AM
i am almost done with college; my boyfriend graduated a few years ago. i have had numerous sexual partners of multiple genders; he doesn't even masturbate. we've had a transatlantic relationship since i met him on a visit home about three months ago, and i am about to move back home and therefore eliminate the longdistanceness of it.
he's awesome; my parents love him; everything is great. preliminary data (i got him off manually while we made out once with no trouble and he seemed to really enjoy it, plus numberous conversations about the topic in general) indicates that he is attracted to me, is genuinely excited about developing the sexual aspect of our relationship, and is not gay.
however, he is extremely uncomfortable dealing with things like buying condoms or even looking at websites with information about them. he was able to provide no further explanation than he finds it makes him "scared and uncomfortable", and such topics have caused him similar distress since he had to deal with going to health class when he was in middle school.
so, what does this mean? what do i do? how do i turn sex from a scary threat into a fun expression of closeness for this amazing guy?
thanks in advance for advice.
Jul 22 2006, 09:20 PM
Irony...sounds like you need to figure out whether sex in this relationship is really that important to you, and decide that if he does have that much baggage is it really a smart decision to be sleeping tohether in the first place. I really think he should seek help or advice on how to deal with things first..... and then take it from there.
Jul 22 2006, 11:14 PM
I don't think you do. Fix it, I mean. He needs to be the one seeking therapy or something, and even then it's a big order. The fact that you are seeking helpf for him, when he seems to just want to avoid the problem, means it seems unlikely this is going to resolve itself no matter what you do.
Also, it's a good idea not to start new threads for each question you have, but instead to check out in the Bust Community forum and see if there is already a suitable topic. Besides being good manners, you are likely to get more viewings and replies in a general topic rather than starting your own for each subject/question.
Jul 27 2006, 11:39 PM
One size doesn't necessarily fit all, but it couldn't hurt to spend a leisurely night -- or even half a night -- in bed with him. Some of us are slow learners.
Jul 30 2006, 05:04 PM
Sounds like he has some serious issues with sex. I wonder if he grew up in a home where sex was viewed as a bad embarassing thing.....
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