Apr 6 2009, 01:39 AM
*gets all dreamy starry-eyed*
god, z, you are soooooo f'ing cool. you do not know how jealous i am.
Apr 6 2009, 07:44 AM
congrats zoya! That is really really cool.
Apr 13 2009, 09:03 PM
I have sat down and had three very difficult dialogues over the past few days. Plus the one with myself. And I was unafraid to speak from my heart and my soul. And even though there has been pain involved, and some leftover feelings about other people involved, what I feel most is my absolute knowing that no one can shake my trust in myself, in knowing what's right for me and standing behind it.
Apr 14 2009, 12:54 AM
f'ing right on, doodle. good for you!
Apr 15 2009, 03:37 PM
Got my master's today, finally, and am now officially in the PhD program of my second department.
Apr 15 2009, 07:32 PM
Apr 15 2009, 07:47 PM
yay pm! good hustle on that!
Apr 18 2009, 01:45 PM
Thanks Girltrouble and Stargazer!
Apr 20 2009, 11:36 AM
May 8 2009, 12:31 PM
Surprisingly, I don't need to make any revisions for my dissertation. I can send it to the editor now. I'm still kinda shocked. I was expecting to have to make alot of changes. Phew!
May 10 2009, 02:48 PM
I just got done writing (what I think is) a kickass proposal for an event - my very first where I actually refer to myself as a "Project Manager," though I've been doing the same job for years with basically no title (I just get 'er done.) I modeled it after the proposal of a big firm, and I think it actually turned out quite well to represent little 'ol me and my team!
May 10 2009, 04:07 PM
May 25 2009, 06:10 PM
I spent the day today at work, sharing an office with this really cute guy, and we ended up totally just chatting all day and into the night (was a project that involved it being a really long day) I carried on a really great conversation with him. I'm really horrible with guys, I just get all flustered and when I get kinda flustered and self conscious / insecure, I end up just talk talk talking about myself. But I totally stayed in the moment, asked him loads of questions about himself, kept the conversation balanced, and it was awesome. I honestly thought he might ask me out for a drink at the end of the night, but he didn't - and he's leaving town tomorrow, so that's that. But that awesome conversation was a HUGE accomplishment for me. I've been really working on being more secure with myself, specially with guys, and I feel like it paid off, a little. for me, anyway.
May 30 2009, 03:12 PM
For the first time in my life today, I worked out at a gym with a trainer. This was no easy task, and I do feel very sore (30 pushups, situps, jump rope, and lunges was the warm up!). Muscles I didn't even know existed are aching. However, I am very proud of myself to getting my ass out of bed this morning!
Jun 1 2009, 08:57 AM
Cheers to all!
I don't even know if this is a big accomplishment or not, but I got a job teaching English in Taiwan! Normally these jobs are a dime a dozen, but because of the down economy, teachers are not letting go of their jobs and school enrollments are down in pretty much every Asian country with ESL schools. So, I'm pretty thrilled to have gotten one of the few available.
I guess the real accomplishment for me is in stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something completely different and challenging. I'm a really a shy, introverted sort of gal, so going to a totally foreign country where I don't speak the language or know anybody, to stand up in front of a room of kids and teach, is beyond frightening. But, I've been so unhappy with my crappy desk job, living in the same town I grew up in, watching all my friends get married and settle into domestic living, all I want to do is break away and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. And, now I am!
I leave in about three weeks!
Jun 2 2009, 05:00 AM
Likeanyother, that is awesome. I was somewhat shy and introverted growing up; I moved to a foreign country when I was 19 and it was the best thing ever for my shyness. You will have an amazing time; make sure to travel around SE Asia while you're there!
Jun 3 2009, 07:05 AM
Thanks syb, that makes me feel good, excited, and inspired. And yes, I definitely plan on doing some serious traveling while I'm in the SE Asian neighborhood.
This is my last week at I job I've had and hated for over a year now. I've stuck it out and now I'm almost DONE and ready to start a completely different life!
Jun 4 2009, 10:09 AM
I think that's great! I almost moved to Korea a few years back to do the same thing, but was too scared to move out of my comfort zone. Have a great time!
Jun 6 2009, 12:48 AM
I just put in my application for school. Whoooo.
Jun 6 2009, 02:08 AM
and i am so jealous, anyother. that is so cool.
i got an in to sundance. a girl who works there and at siff told me i should apply for work there, and said it was ok to use her name as a reference. yay! it's such a tiny step, but it means a ton for me. i've been having to eat a lot of crow, and rebuild this part of my life. one person i've been volunteering under nominated me for vol of the year, and i feel like such a dork. i can't believe it. i'm having a sally field moment: they like me, they really, really like me. i'm slack jawed and gobsmacked.
Jun 6 2009, 06:57 AM
GT: FUCK YEAH!!!! DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!! If there is one thing I have learned in life, it's that when you are supposed to do something, the universe will conspire to make it happen. Not always on our time, or what we think it should look like. But when we manage to break our ego down to the point where we just surrender to what the universe gives us, it's amazing how it aligns itself with what we want. And how fast it will do it, once it's the right path. I am having these moments lately where I look back on what I thought were setbacks, or "false starts" and realizing that they were all part of the building blocks to getting me where I am and where I want to be. Which is really helping with moments in the present when things don't seem to be working out - I just remind myself that quite probably, it's all part of the building blocks of where I'm going, and I relax into it, keeping my goals in mind and remembering that the universe will get me there if I just keep at it and trust that it will.
wow. that was quite possibly the most zen thing I've ever written. But I really feel that way. and I look at your post about Sundance and think about how much I love those moments when the universe unequivocally reminds you "see- I am looking out for you, and I'm going to give you a little reminder so that you don't lose faith or give up."
keep up the good work. you rule.
Jun 6 2009, 07:23 AM
WORD, Zoya. I'm experiencing that stuff right now!
Jun 6 2009, 11:23 AM
As am I... it's been a while, but right now is looking awesome. And it all makes a crazy kind of sense.
GT, totally go for it! And believe in the faith others have in you. Also, if there's one place you should be working (preferably as programmer) it's in a film festival IMO.
Jun 7 2009, 03:06 AM
thank you so much z and syb!
i applied for a job at siff this year and got nothing, but i decided, hell, i'll just volunteer, and see some movies i would have paid for for free. but there aren't that many movies i'm interested in (for whatever reason, i'm stuck on horror) but i think it will be a very good thing. i think i needed to be visible. to be there, and to do it anyways, and i'm really glad i did. i forgot how charming i can be. lol.
i agree i'd be a great programmer, and that is one of my ultimate goals, but i wish that tuition costs didn't just double. for the first time i'm seriously thinking about going back to school. i am intensely interested in queer, feminist and freudian and lacanian film theories, and i really want to work on my writing. because i really think i should be writing about film too. i've been making some personal notes on a couple of very complex films, and then i research, and i've been shocked that some very high profile reviewers came to the same conclusions as i have. i try to deny it, but i do know my stuff, film wise. i still have a lot to learn, but i am learning to trust my instinct.
i'm sorry to post me me me, especially for something so small, but when i transitioned, i lost so much faith in myself. i told myself no, and no one would hire me because i was trans, and i guess, this little step (and the words of encouragement too), have given me some faith and shown me not to give up on myself, to believe in myself. something that's nearly killed me in the last 7 + years.
now, i'm thinking zoya is right, i just need to keep moving in that direction. hell, it's the only thing i'm good at. it's taken me a while, but i think i'm headed in the right direction.
and syb, thank you for your comment. coming from you, that means a TON.
Jun 7 2009, 08:48 AM
GT, I think you'd be a natural! Hell, you ARE a natural.
Soo, I feel weird posting this after the biggies previous to mine....but I managed to clean out the fridge today! I have room on the shelves again and nothing navy blue with fur growing on it!
Jun 7 2009, 09:06 AM
GT!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT!!!!!!!
Motherfuckin' WERD Zoya.
come on eileen
Jun 10 2009, 06:23 PM
So one of my class projects was to build a website. There was a competition and I won! I've just launched it: thebodypolitic.org
. It's a focus on women's body image in media and entertainment. Please please visit (and join the forum!).
It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there.
Thank you! =)
Jun 11 2009, 02:37 AM
Congratulations eileen, and that's a very nice picture on the first page!
Well done tree on not getting eaten by mouldy fridge monsters!
Yesterday I rode my bike for the first time in 15 years and didn't fall off! It was soooo much faster than walking, I loved it.
Jun 22 2009, 02:42 PM
I passed my bastard of a degree
Jun 22 2009, 03:26 PM
Woooooo starship!!! Congratulations!!!!
Jul 14 2009, 07:26 AM
FINALLY! I got a training position. I also pickup my bound copy of my dissertation tomorrow and deliver that baby to its home at my university.
Jul 14 2009, 07:54 AM
WOOT Star!!!!! That is GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jul 14 2009, 08:00 AM
SG, congrats!! That is amazing news, well done!!
And another congrats for adding your thesis to your uni library...yay!
Jul 14 2009, 09:10 AM
Jul 14 2009, 09:36 AM
Jul 14 2009, 09:39 AM
Syb, you won't be far behind me in posting about your thesis.
Jul 14 2009, 09:52 AM
Jul 14 2009, 12:46 PM
yay! thats wonderful, star!!!
Jul 14 2009, 02:19 PM
Congrats star, that is wonderful news!!!!!!!!
Jul 14 2009, 03:27 PM
YAY YAY YAY YAY star! girl, you are my new personal hero.
Jul 14 2009, 11:09 PM
Star, I think that's the best news I've read all day!!
Jul 15 2009, 03:04 AM
Jul 15 2009, 04:29 PM
So cool, Star. It's about time somebody recognized your assets
Jul 27 2009, 11:48 AM
I'm proud of myself up for getting my own business started, creating my own logo and site out of necessity even despite my own self-doubts - and being able to find what I needed to get things done on my own.
I'm proud of myself for finally getting the help I need coping with my sister's death after all these years. I'm proud of myself for admitting when I need someone else's help.
Jul 27 2009, 12:39 PM
Jul 27 2009, 04:30 PM
Aug 14 2009, 11:08 PM
yay! congrats, rudder! whoot! i think you are probably getting your reward in the form of beeps.
Aug 16 2009, 03:23 PM
Congratulations rudder! And this is belated, but I'm so proud of you, girl_logic!
I've already congratulated you star personally, but you deserve much kudos for how strong and intelligent and awesome you are.
I feel good today. The magazine that I intern for had accepted a story that I had pitched to them, and posted it on their website. Between that public recognition, using the internship to network, PLUS having met an editor at a book publisher I like through a friend, I feel very lucky to have these opportunities, and am working to make this into something solid and good, after having been in so-so internships and busy with school, graduating at the age of 24 and feeling older.
Plus, I've gone from being a shy woman with social awkwardness to being social and busy almost every weekend, albeit I still make mistakes (forget to bring something to a potluck, for example), but I feel much more alive and less depressed than before.
Aug 16 2009, 05:10 PM
Congrats annak on the growth you've made both, personally and professionally!
Aug 19 2009, 07:26 AM
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