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I threw the tv remote at frecklette this morning, after she told me to shut up. ( major NO in our home)
gah gah gah. I'm so ashamed.

mother of the year material I'm not.
frecklette's gonna feel the same way about me when she's more grown if I'm not careful.

was not the best morning for either of us but she left for school on loving terms again.

= hangs head=
I have a not-totally-rational thing about having my own space and time to myself, but sometimes too much day to day intimacy with those you love, *especially* with those you love, can be a bad, crazy-making thing.

And doodle, this is *exactly* why I don't want children!

Syb--daycare is the best thing i've ever invested money in. Should I rush straight from work to daycare? Probably. Do I? Nope. Go home, change, get dinner laid out, then head over to pick up the wee one.

Thank you very, very much for the offer, (((((Doodlelove))))), but I'm afraid if I set foot into Canada I'd never want to leave. smile.gif

Which leads me to some confessions, at least some of which will likely be highly unpopular:

I wish someone would cause mortal injury to several members of the US political leadership.

I want more people in this country to stop whining about how the government has failed Katrina victims and to step up and actually do something to make a difference themselves.

I think the best course of action would be for all foreign troops and diplomats to pull out of Iraq today (if not sooner) and leave the people there to either work it out amongst themselves or blow each other to bits.

The same goes for the rest of the world, including Israel, Palestine, and Lebanon.

I don't think any country should have nuclear weapons, and US leadership saying "We can have them but you can't because we're not crazy like you are" is hysterically funny in a twisted kind of way.

I wish I had someone to discuss politics with - not statistics of troop deaths, but political concepts and practices.

Last but not least: I have a LJ I keep thinking about posting all this stuff to, but I know that nobody will read it, so until now I've just kept silent and read what others have written without posting my own thoughts.

Actually, no, this is the last: Ever since the original conception I've wanted to post in Doodle's religious discussion threads, but I don't have the intestinal fortitude to put together a cohesive statement of faith like I used to, so I've been keeping my mouth shut.
((((((((tallgirl))))))) just because.

have some faith in the powers of your own thought processes ey?
I thought what you posted was pretty concise and impressive. (not that you um. asked or anything.)
I am really getting sick of how people crap all over the city I live in. You know what, Winnipeg is a nice place, particularly in the summer. There are nice people here and there are fun things to do. Sure we have murder and car theft, but what city doesn't? Plus it is pretty darn cheap here. I like it.

Apparently my ex wants "closure" after our break up. He broke up with me, had me arrested in my own house, spread tremendous lies about me and he wants motherfucking closure. That slimey bastard can wait until the day he dies, he ain't going to get fuckin' nothing from me. I want a million fucking dollars, and do nothing more than sit on my own tropical island with BUSTies, and tremendous amounts of fun, liquor, dope and men and women (whatever your preferance), and live off my millions. We don't always get we want now do we? He can take his thoughts of closure and shove them up his ASS! On that note, one of my work friends said I should take video "with some guys dick in me" and send it to him, with a caption that says "here's your fucking closure". I would do it in a heart beat.

I have a job interview at an insurance company doing case management, and I don't know what to expect. I am not letting my self get too excited about it, because I don't want to be devistated if I don't get the job.

I have a love hate relationship with my body piercings. Today I love them. Funny thing is that I would like more. more. MORE!
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Aug 31 2006, 11:00 AM) *

I am really getting sick of how people crap all over the city I live in. You know what, Winnipeg is a nice place, particularly in the summer. There are nice people here and there are fun things to do. Sure we have murder and car theft, but what city doesn't? Plus it is pretty darn cheap here. I like it.

Oh geez, I know exactly what you mean. Do you ever read the winnipeg community on livejournal? It's so fucking depressing. I happen to love living here. I think there's a lot to do and a lot of great clubs and bars and pubs; you just have to be willing to search them out. I myself am hoping to get to Times Change(d) tonight and I've been trying to hit up more live music lately. I am one of those people who's hoping for better changes in the downtown area though.
My confession is that I agree with a hell of a lot of what TallGirl has said. Especially when it comes to the religion thread. I feel that if I were to post anthing about my beliefs, it would just be some long-winded version of "I have some ideas and notions and stuff, but none of us can really be sure of anything, right, so I just try to keep an open-mind and remain respectful of the various perspectivs out there" blahblahblah. Not exactly inspiring.

And some people like to talk smack about my home town, but I rather like it there.
QUOTE(lilacwine13 @ Aug 29 2006, 06:32 PM) *

Is it really bad that I'm wishing I was drunk right now?

Especially since I'm at work?

Is it really bad that I'm wishing I was stoned right now?

Especially since I'm at work?

i want to hire a maid to clean my apt. bathrooms, but i won't b/c i'd feel really guilty sitting on the couch while some stranger cleans my toilet.

i've been having dreams about my exes. almost every night.

Ooh! This is sort of like the confessions about people crapping on your city....(ETA: only much longer! Heh.)

I am starting to get outraged when people - friends, family - tell me I should move out of my town, like they know what's best for me, or like this is a lame place. I LIKE my little city. Sure I miss big city options, but I don't really want to LIVE in a big city anymore. Anyway, we still have tons of arts and cultural events, like concerts, plays, festivals, pow wows, and art shows. And I like that I can afford a place on the river, surrounded by trees and hills and open sky, and a beach that I can walk on. I like the unusual landscape of the Canadian desert. I like the sagebrush, the ponderosa, the grasslands. I like that people are friendlier here than in big cities, and don't look at you weird if you try to make casual conversation in a public place. (I also like that it's not such a small town that everybody knows your bidness.) I like that we have a university (which I've watched grow from a community college to a university-college to a fully-accredited university) that brings all kinds of fascinating young people here, as well as providing growth opportunities for us older folk. I like that it only takes ten minutes to drive anywhere, and that we have "rush minute" instead of "rush hour"("hour" being a bit of a misnomer for "hourS"), and that traffic jams are still considered unusual, and that I can always get parked close to wherever I'm going. I like that I can still park on the street for a quarter! I like that people aren't blase about violent crime, and that murders are rare enough to still be headline news.

I never in my life felt like I had a "home" until I lived here. And maybe that's 'cause I never stopped long enough to carve out a "home" till I moved here. But the reality is that here is where "home" IS. I'm not saying that I will never leave, but I MIGHT not. And if I do leave, it's not going to be because other people think my town is lame, or because other people think they know what's best for me. So there.

And by the way, my big city friends and family members, what exactly do you DO that makes your big cities so great? All I ever see you do - when you're not stuck in your cars/mass transit for hours - is shop, or hide at home fearing crime and watching TV. PLUS - this is for you rain-soaked Vancouverites - it's almost always sunny here! So ninny!

Damn, I should've just posted that in Letters.


Well, tallgirl, ain't nothin' wrong with Canada! Oh, except we have a right wing gov't now. *sigh* And yeah, your post rocked.

And I wish tallgirl and roseviolet (and anyone else who's thinking about it) would come and post in the god/dess thread, 'cause I don't have any cohesive thoughts, either, and I'd appreciate the company!

syb, ditto on the reason for not wanting kids. Ugh! Give me space! Lots of it! (Oh, hey, that's prolly why I like it so much here in the desert.)

batty, and others, I think many of us wouldn't be healthy if we lived with our family...if for no other reason than standing on our own two feet is the first and most important way we overcome all the dysfunction they did to us! Who needs to go backwards?
doodle, your post made me get "don't fence me in" stuck in my head...
nothing to see here...

just trying to push some crazinwess down the pike...

that is all

I really love being in a relationship, now it's not just me in the world. I feel a little more secure. I've fought him kicking and screaming, we've gone through some really tough times and happy crazy fun times too. And now, there's just so much love and understanding...and still some misunderstandings, but it's just nice and I never thought I'd see the day.
IPB Image

(For LRM)
I love the fact that I can block that fucking moron fundamentalist, and not need to know what he's saying. I LOVE the ignore function! YAY!

I am going to turn into vegetable dip this weekend, with my vaporizer. It is great!

I think that some of my coworkers are idiots, and I cannot stand them. What most of them don't know is that I have a potential out of this place! Double yay!
culturehandy, I hear that. I just had to tell a coworker, who after I ask her for help gets me so crazy because she is so frantic and loud when she helps me, I had to tell her, you know what I've changed my mind, I will handle this myself. I am learning about boundaries. For fucks sake!!!!
I had no clue there was a desert climate in Cananda.
-i don't know all the state capitals, may even have problems identifying certain states on a map, i still have to count on my fingers when i add, and i never understood multiples of ten. i had eight years of education of post-highschool schooling. someone's gonna find me out some day.

-i wish i could make more specific BUSTsecrets and speak more freely about my life on the boards but i never would want what i say here fall into the wrong hands/encroach on my "real" life self

-someone here needs to leave because this board is SACRED goddamnit!
I am really really really happy I'm not pregnant.
I don't know about the desert in this 'Cananda' but we sure have one up here in Canada.

There's even a desert in Manitoba. Good ole' prairie desert. tongue.gif (I laughed when I read Cananda too.)

I feel the most comfortable when I really load up my schedule and have a lot of appointments. But I think I also do it to make an excuse to get out of relationships I don't like that much. I've done it twice already and I think I'm about to do it a third time.
Lotsa desert here in Cananda...and over in Canada too. (Sorry, I know, the joke's tired now.) It's just b/c it snows/gets a bit cold in the winter that people get confused. smile.gif And yep, that's a pic of my desert. If I had a horse, that hill is prolly where I'd be right now!

Ok, my confession: I think I am a decoraholic.

Not a very surprising confession, I'm sure.

Also, I wish I had a horse.
I, too, wish that I had a horse.

I also want to marry a guy who is totally financially stable and will teach me how to play chess.

I want a tubal ligation.

I want cigarettes to be part of the four food groups. Let's say, in the Coffee Group.

I want to be famous for something cool that I thought about and wrote down on a whim.

I want to go on a spending spree. In said spree, I would like to purchase a Kitchenaid and get Minxlette a vintage Wonder Woman lunchbox.

I want to be a size 10 and not have my boobs sit on my tummy because it squicks me out.

I want, occassionally, to dress the lawyer up in women's clothing and make him be my bitchboy. In person. Just a garter belt with black and white thigh-highs and heels and a thong. Or tangas.

I want the acne on my ass to go away, but that never happens until November and then resumes in April.

I want a pinball machine in my living room.
I'm busting and watching The Goonies instead of seriously doing the work that I desperately need to do.

I'll fib to the boy and say that I've had a productive day.

I'm in denial, if I hide long enough it will go away.

My pregnant bf was lamenting stretch mark on her stomach and I have worse ones and I'm not -nor have I ever been- pregnant.

The boy taught me how to play chess and he's becoming financially stable for us both.
i want to turn over a new leaf and break out of my unhealthy patterns. i want to stop taking my health for granted, start taking better care of myself, start doing things that make me feel strong in mind and body... but i'm afraid i can't do it. i'm afraid i'm not strong enough, and i'll just give up. i'm afraid i'll let myself down.
I hate most people.

I'm going to Italy for three and a half months tomorrow. I'm not excited or anxious or scared or nervous or anything. I kind of just don't care.

I'm not impressed by most impressive things (famous art, world wonders) and feel like a douche for having the privilege of seeing these things.

I think it's odd when people who aren't relatives miss me or care about me or need me in their lives.

I'm an asshole to my closest friends.

I'm an asshole in general.

I have tons and tons of regrets.

If my friends did coke I probably would too. If my friends jumped off a bridge I might think about doing it too.

I don't make decisions in life, except when drunk.

I have no real world skills.

I have no concept of time/money/hard work.

I just wanna get high.

I just wanna be loved.

I honestly, truly believe that my collection of music is far superior to that of my neighbor.

I am scared that I will get breast cancer and have to lose my breasts and thus lose a lot of things. Even moreso scared than dying from cancer.

I'm hoping some rich, hot, smart thirty year old intellectual/artist/dj/sex god will make me his wife in Italy so I never have to deal with life in the US or worry about getting a job.

My worst fear is that my sister is a better artist than me.

I'm worried y'all will judge me 'cause I know my secrets are dumb.
this isn't really a secretly held view of mine but i just wanted somewhere to rant...

it really pisses me off when i hear people donating a lot of money to animal charities. especially after disasters like Katrina and the tsunami. 40% of children in New Orleans were living below the poverty line BEFORE the hurricane even hit. for a lot of those kids it meant that their only real meal of the day is the school lunch program - leaving them totally without a steady source of food during the long summer months.

don't get me wrong i love my cat probably more than is healthy, i'm a vegetarian, blah, blah, blah.

but please. helping an sick, hungry, defenseless five year old versus a stranded or even wounded animal??

not even fucking close in my book.

on my drive to work npr did a story on a town in wisconsin that invested in fucking oxygen masks for pets and i just can not get beyond how many better uses those tens of thousands of dollars could be going to.
well, I'd piss you off cos I'll confess that I donated to SPCA after Katrina (as well as to Operation Blessing but no matter) and again on the anniversary. It broke my heart to hear/see those stranded animals who are completely defenseless. Yes, child cruelty, neglect, poverty pisses me off but maybe I'm de-sentisized cos there's so much of it.

rantrave, this thread isn't about judging, it's about confession and compassion.
dude, but people were literally DYING in the streets in New Orleans. on tv. in real time.

I don't know. People, especially children, always come before animals with me. As much as I love animals and understand the desire to anthropomorphize them, they are not sentient.

have you worked in child poverty??

it makes me embarassed about the priorities of our country when we care to spend more money on our pets than on our fellow man.

no wonder the republican feel no shame in fucking decimating the school lunch program, food stamps, WIC, Medicaid...

ETA: apologies for being so firey, i didn't mean to be confrontational. i just think its emblamatic of what's wrong with America.
I'm not in your country and I'm well aware that people were dying on the streets of New Orleans but so were animals and those that didn't had to be put down if no homes were found for them because so many were abandoned. We are the ones who have domesticated animals so we are the ones who should look after them, no matter what.

I'm not ignoring human suffering but I'm more of an animal person than a people person at times, animals can't offend me.
i can see how people aren't rushing to donate to addict recovery programs.

but starving children? i don't see how they could be "offensive."

ETA: also, how far do you take your self-responsibility message towards animals? what are your thoughts about factory farming? the meat packing industry? dairy? leather goods?
addiction is an illness.

I've already said that I donated to Operation Blessing too, I'm not ignoring the plight of starving children but in the case of Katrina the animals were my heart-string tuggers. Hey, I'm a fucked up animal lover - I don't like children all that much.
uh... can you see how i've made a career out of self-righteousness?
I split my donations between animals & people. I imagine it's gotta hurt to know that not only that you did not have time to gather all your shit, but you didn't have room to save Fido, too. How do you explain to little Timmy that Rusty has to stay behind because there's no room for him in the car? I can see little kids kicking & screaming because they didn't understand the import of what was going to happen. My animal companions are just as important to me as my human biological family & a lot of people feel that way. How would it feel for somebody to come back a month later during the curfews & they find Fluffy kicking it at the local animal shelter just waiting to be picked up? To know that your house is destroyed, your stuff is gone, but somebody went to the effort of making sure Fluffy was okay. That there is a tiny piece of hope.

Perhaps you don't know the actual meaning of the word "sentient". Look it up. Animals are sentient, rocks are not.

People that don't understand the concept of spellcheck make me insane. I work with some LD people & they *LOVE* spellcheck. Strangely, my LD clients are the ones I have to make the fewest corrections with, period, not just spelling.
eh. i just really reacted to your usage of "offensive."

editing to ad again: sorry for the spelling errors.

re sentience: i think its arguable that animals have a sense of consciousness. they are obviously conscious of their surroundings but i don't think they really have a consciousness of self, which is my working definition of the word sentient. feel free to correct me if i'm totally off base on what that word means though. i'm still pretty much operating on my 9th grade textbook version of biology so i always enjoy learning the real deal.
I confess, I can't spell.

I know I know I should use spell check more religiously but I don't . I suck .

at least I got desert as opposed to dessert.

wasn't it there a line from the Little Prince " you are responsible forever for what you have tamed" or something to that effect. so ya money to puppies and kitties, and kids, and rehabs at least people are donating to something. who cares what it is .
No need to attack the people who do what they can. Shouldn't anger be reserved for, say, the people responsible for the entire tragedy, instead of those who wanted to help the victims?

Just saying.
Huh, interesting. I talked about this already somewhere, but there was a little while when I was kind of annoyed that there was so much focus on the animals here when there were still people in imminant danger. I felt as if I had to save my own damn self out of here...sort of cobbed together a way out and got very lucky...and then went home to have some friends lamenting about the dogs while people were still stuck at the Convention Center.

But I realized later, like Lucizoe said, that being upset with my friend was more about me feeling abandoned and left for dead than about her wanting to help the animals trapped here. And years ago, I realized that people who get mobilized to assist any cause are amazing and rare...and I'm just grateful and admiring of them, no matter what the cause that touches them enough to actually do something. There is so much worthwhile out there.
believe me. i am angry with the bush administration. things will all be better nov. 8th... 15 more house seats...thats all we need.

i think part of my anti-donating to katrina animal charities is the whole knee-jerkedness of it. like people saw puppies stranded on tv and went aw... and then gave.

i guess i am just a very devout speciesist. human pain registers more strongly to me than animal distress.

I donated a few bucks to both human and animal charities for Katrina victims. However, I'll be the first to admit that as far as my total charitable donations go (on a general, yearly basis--not related to a specific disaster), my local humane society gets most of the money. I just know of so many animals who need homes, and since I can't adopt or foster any, sending some money is my way of doing my part to help. I do realize that there are plenty of human charities that need assistance, too, (hell, I work for a major nonprofit); it's just that, to be honest, I really, really love animals and want to do whatever I can for them.

On a somewhat related note: I have to admit that I've been annoyed with some of the 9-11 widows for a long time. I'm specifically targeting the "professional widows" like Lisa Beamer who really milked the spotlight and profited financially from their spouses' deaths. I've been thinking about this lately because the fifth anniversary is imminent, so I've been remembering what things were like at that time. And one thing I remember well is that some of these widows were whining that the $2 or $3 million or whatever that they were getting (from charities and the goverrnment) wasn't near enough. Last year, one of these women actually went on the news/talk-show circuit and said she'd blown through nearly all the $5 million she'd received, and now she was boo-hooing to her interviewers about how she had "only" about $500,000 left. WTF?!

Of course, the events of 9-11 were horrific, and those who lost a loved one as a result of those events suffered a tragic loss. I'm not in any way denying that. My point is that some of the 9-11 widows (and widowers) seemed to feel that they should be getting much more monetary compensation than, say, someone who'd lost a spouse to cancer or a car accident would get. I won't go as far as to agree with Ann Coulter's recent comments about them "enjoying their husband's deaths" (for the record, I deplore Ann Coulter and her viewpoints), but I think some of them just showed a lot of greed in the aftermath of the tragedy. JMHO.
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Obviously, Hurricane Katrina was not a great shining moment in our nation's history, it was an extreme example of our government's lack of compassion and common sense, but I donated money to both human and animal charities and I don't understand why there's such hostility about that, why there's a differentiation between one being a worthy cause and one not. If animals aren't a priority for you, than I accept that- there's lots of charities and causes that I don't give to or get enthusiastic about because I can't afford to be. The battles I've chosen to fight have changed over the years, some issues I felt strongly about in college aren't as important to me anymore (fighting sweatshop labor comes to mind.) It doesn't mean I'm any less empathetic towards the workers who are forced to work long hours in horrible conditions for little pay, I've just chosen to focus on something else.

Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't get the criticism of people for supporting one cause over another- it's a personal choice and I don't think people should be criticized for who they choose to donate money to.
QUOTE(ferraro @ Sep 4 2006, 06:04 PM) *

i think part of my anti-donating to katrina animal charities is the whole knee-jerkedness of it. like people saw puppies stranded on tv and went aw... and then gave.

hurrah for the media - they did their job and brought (limited) awareness to some, "aw" or not, at least it had an impact. missladyj is right: at least people are giving. Charity is charity - you can not judge on what is more deserving, that is the choice of the person donating. (xposted with polly, so yeah!)
And, you have to think about the affect that having their pet nearby had on people- remember that poor kid who cried himself sick on TV because he lost his dog (Snowball, was it? Didn't they eventually re-unite him with the dog?) And all those people who had a hard time getting on the buses because they couldn't take their pets with? If they made the decision to get on the bus, I don't criticize them for that, but I can give money to try to support people who tried to take care of the animals they left behind. It wasn't just the media taking pictures of starving dogs, dogs chained to trees, unable to escape who ended up drowning that made me do it. The pets were some peoples only connection to the life thay had 24, 48, 72 hours before, and as much a part of their family as their children.
Yeah, to add to what bunny said, I think most of the donations to the Red Cross and other human charities during Katrina were knee-jerk reactions after seeing the horrible footage on TV, so yay! for the media and yay! for all those knee-jerk donations.

ETA- I was talking to the Mr. while trying to post, so it took me so long to I missed polly's post...I erased some stuff I wrote about news stories of people being reunited with their animals and it's so touching. One man in his 80s lived just with his dog and had to leave him when he was rescued. He left a big bag of food and bowls of water with the dog...finally the woman who ended up with the dog agreed to give him back, so now the man has his companion again! He's lost everything else, but now at least he has his pup!
hard issue. i'd give to kids before animals in a crisis without a second thought but one third of my son's allowance gets donated to the local spca so... where do i stand on that issue, really? stewardship of the planet is high on my agenda i suppose and that means the animals here as well as my fellow human beings.

i confess that i could not care LESS about spelling, punctuation, Capitalization and the like and i also could not care less who it irks. i'm getting my point across and that's all i'm here for. i'm not taking time out to make it pretty, then again i shop in my pj's so this life is pretty centered around function rather than form for me.
don't like it? too flipping bad. i confess that i couldn't give a fig.
i measure and judge people based on how they think of and treat animals.
but i'm a massive fucking hypocrite because i wear leather and eat meat & fish.

my other confession is that i'm a spiteful witch. (just went and donated again to the humane society.)
omg, you crack me up, mando!
Not getting into the whole animals vs. people argument (I'm not really an animal person per se in that I've never actually owned a pet, but I'm not going to judge someone whose donations swing that way because they are. . .although one of the reasons I don't eat a lot of meat - though I'm not a vegetarian - is b/c the conditions under which most animals are farmed isn't good either for them or the environment. . .I'm not religious about it, but it has occurred to me), but on a somewhat related note, I will admit that I am perturbed in general by people who would otherwise consider themselves progressives, but don't really care about environmental causes in anything other than an abstract sort of way - they recycle, but don't really try to drive less or consume less, etc. I'm not perfect (even remotely) - I'm just learning more about everything myself (I couldn't explain to you all of the particulars re: climate change, for example) - but it just seems that so many problems (including stuff like hurricaines) stem from the way in which we are fucking up the planet, and I just don't understand why more people don't actively seem to care (I don't necessarily mean anyone here - I've been thinking about this for awhile, and the current discussion just reminded me). It seems almost defeatist - we donate to the organizations where we can see immediate change, but the stuff that will affect us most in the long run gets shafted.
OMG Mando, you crack me up as well.

I confess that I treat my bunny better than myself. I clean his cage more often than I clean my bathroom sink. I clip his nails more often than I go to the dentist. I feed him first thing in the morning, THEN I go to the bathroom. Pound for pound, he eats more greens than I do.

Spoiled rotten, that little fluffball! Most of the time, I love him more than most breathing beings. Unconditional love is foolproof.
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