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I agree on the room cleaning.

Confession: I enjoy it when one of my good friends calls me a bad girl. It turns me on highly, then I play up to him, asking him if he would like me to be bad for him.

I love getting high and watching SpongeBob Squarepants or The Simpsons. Or masturbating.
I no longer give a shit about these exams.

I am nesting, and I have not yet hit twenty.

I was sneaking around on an old schoolfriend's bebo page - we no longer speak - and I found a comment from a friend of mine, saying something mean about me. For the last five years she has been someone I've considered my closest friend, but after the way she's treated me over the past few months, I wonder if I should bother trying to be her friend any more.

I haven't told this same friend that I'm seeing a therapist, on antidepressants, or thinking of repeating my first year of university. Because she won't even try to be understanding.
confession: my boob is itchy. i have an unspeakable crush on my coworker. he is the only one in the office. i need to get this off my chest desperately, to prevent doing things to him that would keep my boob from itching.

thank you.
((mornington)) i'm of the mind to cut your losses fast when friends turn bad, and am the queen of block/delete on msn, but that's just me. crappy 'friends' really suck

confession: i yell 'looks like someone has a small penis' whenever someone in need of a muffler/in an expensive car goes roaring down the road when i'm walking. and i fear i'm just fuelling the horrible stereotype that gets attached to feminism, as i do this while wearing my pride bracelet and i have, as my stepbrother has ever so kindly put it, 'dyke hair'. but really i'm just bi with a problem with small-penised hicks
Ah! Katiebelle can tell me where in New York is actually cool and fun and not just CHA CHING!! CHA CHING!! CHA CHING!!

Seriously. Where is the culture, the wanna be artists, or any sort of friendly schlepping it together scene that isn't about someone who is already a celebrity and charging megabucks and attracting all the snobs?

Im not being a boston versus new york person -- i am honestly curious. Seems like it's so expensive that there is no particular music scene or people just hanging out.

People "slum it" in williamsburg wearing white cashmere hooded sweatshirts and having daddy pay 3,000 a month for their share of the loft in the funky factory building.


I thought it was kind of cool walking around downtown -- st. marks , gramercy park or whatever, people were friendlier, but there was nothing but restaurants and stores. 20 bucks to get in the door instead of 7 to see a band -- 14 dollar drinks instead of 5 dollar drinks... of what are you speaking?

I want to know about this secret New York I have not seen.
(((mornington)) People suck. That is what I have discovered. Call it an attachment disorder or whatever, but I have just about given up on being close friends with anyone save Mr.Pixie.

My confession: I really don't like people. They do such hurtful things to other people. And I have been far too trusting and ready to give people a second chance. I'm tired of being shit upon. I really wish Mr. Pixie and I could just move away somewhere with the minipixies and be hermits.
i'm getting to be too angry of a person. my teeth are constantly gnashing. literally. i'm heading for an ulcer or a heart attack. i'm not even sure where all this rage is coming from.

i don't believe in being able to change one's inherent nature, but i need to learn how to let things go.
mando, I know the feeling. I recently saw "Friends with Money" and identified with the Frances McDormand character way too much...
mando, I'm with you. Half the time my jaw aches from clenching my teeth together, I get headaches all the time and I recently had a massage. It took 20 minutes for me to physically be able to relax my shoulder muscles. I just couldn't do it and the masseur was bewildered with me.
I have been hording mis-delievered mail for the last month or so. bills. insurance.
some of it probably really important, but after I totally accidentally opened 1 ( & only the 1), I panicked and didn't know how to extricate myself from it, bc taking it down the road to the right address (whom I don't know) I'd still look nosy & guilty for it being opened.

some I may throw away ( belonging to the creepy neighbor guy who hit on me while my mr was in Iraq last year, call it Kharma babee!)but it just occured to me to drop the rest in an anyonymous postal box.

it's the fault of my sometimes mail carrier, w/ her blaring music and bling no doubt distracting her, but then why do *I* feel so guilty about this?
I messed around with one of my coworkers after work yesterday. It is been 3 and a half weeks since any non-battery operated action. I needed it. And I am trying to get some at lunch.
I'll be thirty-eight this year, and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. But not knowing matters a lot less to me than it used to.
I just want to sit around, naked, possibly in high heels, and read poetry or the new yorker on my velvet couch, and daydream about someone. Then I want to be ravaged by him/ravage him later on. That is all. I have no further wish in this world, isn't that silly?
Suddenly, I feel angry/on the edge of tears all the time, as though I were PMS-ing. Is this menopause? Am I over stressed? Do I need to take more time to just do what I want to do, ie. make art, instead of doing things other people expect of me?
I am really biased against people who drive big, status-y-gas-guzzling/bad emission spewing vehicals.
like the giant sized suv's and so forth. it's one thing to have a large family to neccessate it, but where I live, it's almost entirely for appearances and I'm tired of almost daily nearly being run off the road by these monstrosities who think they own the road.
minivans were bad enough, but now they are almost preferable.
freckleface, you are not alone -

Stop Urban 4x4s

I have the fake parking tickets :-)

I hurt my back recently. I am still off work, even though I probably don't need to be.
I know, freckle, I'm seriously considering getting a custom-made bumper sticker that says "I'm not intimidated by your SUV!" because I'm sick of them speeding up behind me and riding my ass on the highway when I'm in the middle lane, already going at least 12 miles over the limit, just because they think they can scare me in my little Toyota Corolla. Bite me.

I love the fake parking tickets- do yours say something about "may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits and may you have a transmission failure at 4:00pm on the expressway?" I ran out of or lost mine a long time ago. Very sad :-(
missjane- that website is (of course you knew that already)for the UK, bummer. I'm sure if I look tho, I can find something stateside.
I want the fake tickets, to shame them into consciousness, as if.

confession: my mr drives a 4x4 truck, and I, til looking at missjanes's link, didn't realise it was just as guilty of the bad emissions.
however, he is a soldier, and does legitimately need something super rugged for his job.
he is also inordinately proud of the fact that his truck has not one inch of chrome or shiny anything on it, as it's not intended to be "pretty" but functional.
still, I'm a hypocrit :-(

are there really so many suv's in london? when we lived in germany, it was almost unusual to even see a minivan still (outside of those imported by us the American's), but that's been more than 3 years ago. it was refreshing.

I still have all that mail here.
my sexuality is becoming so strong it frightens me...i had to wake up three times last night to masturbate.
it's been raining for weeks, and will continue to rain for a few more. today is the only nice day expected. i wish it were raining so that i wouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to leave my apartment.

i really like the confessions on a dancefloor cd.

i have many, many more pressing and important issues in my life than my weight, yet it's all i can think about, all day, every day.
I love the rain and storm winds and wish it would rain every single day.
i want to quit my jobs and spend the rest of the summer curled up in my bed.

i always make plans to watch movies at my friend's house because then i get to fall asleep with his arm around me
I am *this* far from asking an old friend of mine to come visit, so I can make like I have a boyfriend for a few days. I am jealous because all of my closest friends are coupled-up, and I am single.

I want to cry for no reason, other than I want a hug.
Rats. I have scared away miss katiebelle. She thinks I am mad at her. But really, I just want to know about new york. Of course, a lot of places are different if you live in them than if you visit.

London was funner to shop in than Rome or anywhere it italy, but if I wasn't visiting and actually trying to pay the assbite rent and make new friends, would I find it so riotsously fun? Don't know.


I am starting to be a prissy fussbot.


When I said I was better looking than most people (back there in this thread) I was being pretty delusional. Still, I do believe in the whole "using your illusion" thing. And I ain't hideous.


For a few years now, I've horribly missed one of my old college friends. I want us to be friends again, but I'm being chicken when it comes to doing something about it, like first getting in touch with her. I am so close to calling her parents' house to find out where she is (I suspect she's still in the same town as the last time we saw each other), just as she did with mine several years ago when she was missing me. I bet she'd love to hear from me, just as I'd be thrilled to hear from her. Sigh.
My mom just told me about a younger guy who was trying to pick her up at a bar. She described him, told me his name, and...

I dated that guy a few years ago! I was hung up on my ex at the time and only went out with him a few times so I never introduced him to my mother.

I didn't tell my mother.
I didn't not pull a whole salad in an open container out of the garbage at work yesterday and eat was still good! and it was (sort of) on top!
Yeah, whatever, George Costanza! Hee hee :-)
i want to write an autobiographical novel where i vilify everyone who's ever crunched my heart under heel. i want to write it so deftly and vaguely that they will know on some level that it's about them, and it will graw at them and they will feel massive guilt, and mourn the the loss of my friendship, love and respect.

my sister got last-minute, cheap 15th row seats for DAVE matthews saturday night and she was wearing a glittery t-shirt and when he came out to introduce the opening act, she got up on her seat and went fangirl and he smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up.

yeah. HATE HER.
Mandolyn....I totally know what you mean about the book. I feel that way about people who used to be in my my lurkers. I want them to read something on here that makes them see how wrongly they judged me and how badly they have treated me and feel bad about it...but I never want them back into my life. And of course, I know that would never happen and even if it did...I would never know about it.
Whew... I sort of made out with the male stripper at my friend's bachelorette party this weekend. Yeah, ok well, I definitely did. He was hot. I'm embarassed. But oh screw it! It was fun. LOL

Mandi, bestest once drunkenly heckled Warren Zevon at a concert I brought her to and he responded. I was a) embarassed and b) jealous that she actually made personal contact with him, y'know?
I became a fairly strict vegetarian a few months ago and just accidently found out that my favourite beer is not veg friendly...but I'm going to drink my last few anyways.

In my defense, I am searching for an alternative, but I love my Stella Artois!
I've been a strict vegetarian for years, occasionally even vegan. I don't wear leather shoes or eat sweets with gelatine...

But I do drink Stella Artois.
Just curious- what's in beer that isn't vegetarian/vegan friendly?
Oh, what, vegans can't have yeast now?
The vegan/beer conflict occurs in some beers (like Stella Artois) that use isinglass, which is a gelatin made from fish airbladders, during the filtering process.

I like to watch Supernanny to see bad parents get a talking to. I only watch the first half. I'm somewhat mortified that this is an aspect of my personality.

I also want to write an autobiography, exactly as mando described.

I have also made out with a stripper at a friend's bachelorette party. He was hot and I was not embarrassed.
Whenever I buy a lighter, I immediately take it home and pry the "childproof" (ha!) safety guard off with a pair of needlenose pliers.

I just bought a package of five lighters. I am de-safety-ing them all right now, as I surf BUST.

I can never figure out if I am a fabulous multitasker or a sufferer of ADD.

I make pot cookies to take to my friends when I travel, and I carry them openly on board planes with me in tupperware containers, like some innocent country girl who's done some baking for her cousin in the city.

Oh, and also, I have road rage.
I totally watch Supernanny to watch bad parents getting chewed out... but then I feel guilty, as said parents usually look utterly exhausted.

Doodle, I have pedestrian rage. I can't stand it if someone's walking too slowly in front of me, or is a tourist, standing and gawking at something in the middle of the street. This annoys me far too much.

If I drove I would have road rage.
I can barely contain my rage when people are walking in a group in front of me and they're taking up the whole sidewalk so I can't get by, but when they are walking towards me and no one gives me any room, well, I'm about to go ballistic.
sidewalk rage?

i can't watch shows like supernanny. i just want to kill the kids & be done with it.

i also want to kill the shrieking neighbor kids. and their moms who sit there and yap and let them shriek. kill. dead. my only defense is shutting the windows and putting the a/c on. i should send them my electric bill. too bad i don't own a semi-automatic rifle. these kids could make the most patient, loving person on the planet snap. one of them is named 'mallory'. i used to like that name. i now loathe and detest it.

i truly hate loud, obnoxious, undisciplined children.
I also hate loud abnoxious children who don't scream but screech! I want to harm irritating little brats like that!

I love the show Totally spies, and old Scooby Doo cartoons.

I totally wish I was a superhero, or at the very least wish I had superpowers. I also at time wish I was a faerie who could do super things.

Used to have bad road rage, but now that my ex is gone, not anymore. I get pissed, but not follow you home and break your fucking door down pissed off.
I'm a passive-aggressive driver. you want to tailgate me? i will go ten under the speed limit. i also swear like a sailor from the moment i get in a driver's seat until a few minutes after.

part of me is glad my mom is okay with hearing me swear all the time, but i also wish she weren't just because i'm her baby.

when i am older, i will be a failed adult. i'm a failed teenager who is a failed bisexual who can't manage to have any relationships that are anything other than a) friends of b) odd sorts of relationships that are beyond friendship but not anything i could actually describe.

i wear my pride bracelet to work in hopes one of my bosses makes a homophobic remark, which will give me reason to say 'if you are like that i don't want to work for you anymore. this is my notice, i'll stay here until you can find a replacement but that's it'

sometimes i feel like i should have been a boy. not in a 'i've always felt like i've been in the wrong body kind of way', but there's just something about gender-bending boys that i wish i could master, but it's impossible. that, and i find gay boys to be the most attractive thing ever most of the time.

i'm going to school because i'm too scared not to
I'm totally passive agressive behind the wheel like you described. I'll take 30 seconds to turn a corner, -complete stop first-look both ways twice, and Then turn- just bc you've pissed me off.
I am so irritated today that I think my blood pressure is high. My ears are ringing. I usually have low blood pressure, this is not good.

I heart Mandi and always enjoy her posts, regardless of the topic.
I have pedestrian rage too. Especially when it's tourists.

I only like children I can give back when they get annoying; I get irritated with parents of screamy, nasty children no matter how harassed they are, despite knowing I would be a far worse parent.

I wish I could get out of going shopping with my mum's friend, she's snobby and makes me feel inadequate; I didn't by the beads I wanted to buy today because she was being so snotty about it, and now I'm starting to doubt my creativity because she was so dismissive.

I totally have pedestrian rage when I'm at a crosswalk. BECAUSE I almost failed my road test by failing to stop for a pedestrian who was on the curb at a crosswalk. She hadn't entered the crosswalk yet - if she had, and I'd kept going, I would have "performed a dangerous action" and automatically failed. It's the LAW. So when cars don't stop for me, I give them a variety of rude hand signals that are unbecoming to a citizen of Canada. (But I always wave, smile, or thank those who do stop.)

ETA: mornington, fuck her. Trust yourself. Go back for the beads and wear them in her presence!
my inner bitch surfaces in the womens bathroom where simpering yuppie bitches or drunk punk rock girls decide to enter a stall to discuss their current realtionship .

So I have to ask " ladies are you pissing or talking?" and they leave the stall and then can't remember what vapid conversation they were having because I was " so rude". Fuck you what is rude is hogging a stall to talk while others are waiting to pee. Have your mental breakdown or girl talk somewhere else or suffer my wrath! I am the bathroom bitch!!!
I miss Slinky. Oh yes, I said it.
mornington, that is exactly why I only go shopping on my own. I will readily admit that when it comes to fashion I am not strong enough to fight friends/family's disagreeing opinions.
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