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Ooooops! Some Bustie on FB made reference to ruling Candyland over the weekend, for some reason I thought it was CH. My bad.
confession: my dinner last night consisted of 2 pieces of cake, 1 slice of pizza and 4 pints of beer. I should probably be mainlining vitamins to make up for this truly lamentable state of nutritional affairs.
Okay!1 I thought it was somethign blaringly obvious. My crackbook update was a simpsons reference.
confession: I'm skipping class today. I just needed a break, some time to get my head together. I only regret skipping one class though, not the other.

Pants, my dinners haven't been quite as bad as yours but I'm at the point where I'm pretty sure that my body is craving vegetables.
Confession: I hate facebooks technical support. They're standing in my way of joining the FB fun. sad.gif
Oh, now I'm also curious to know where Zoya is going to move next! I know you probably don't want to say it here. I'm thinking about moving to another country for a year, but I, too wouldn't mention anything about my choice(s) here, either. Damn it! *shakes fist at my own nosiness*

I'm not cooking anything for Thanksgiving because I don't give a shit.
confession: last night, we had band practice, and Soulman sad and lost, almost pitiful. And the worst thing, it seemed like he's lost his confidence a bit, and in particular, his confidence in his own songs. I feel so bad. I feel....well, I feel a little regret EVERY morning, but it usually passes over the course of the day. Now I feel guilty. Fucking guilty.

confession: I miss him, too. But I know this will pass. Eventually.

confession: I love him. I'll always love him. That won't pass.
that sucks doodle, but you know it was what you needed. you've got bigger and better waiting for you. wink.gif

confession: i've been hanging out w/ crush girl alot-- although there's not anything romantic. it's funny tho, i've seen her with her other friends, and she's so much more quiet with most of them, unless she's loaded. when we hang out together, it's like she shines. i think she thought i'd pine for her, but honestly, i knew we would be fast friends, so i'm perfectly fine with it. once i knew where i stood, *click* i'm on to the next...

confession:i find her constant sexual innuendo when we hang out, funny. i don't reciprocate, i figure, what's the point. she gets none of my sexual energy/interest and i think it's fucking with her ego.

confession:she was looking for ego strokes last night and i totally shot her down. i didn't mean to, but i didn't see the point in coddling her.

cg:c'mon. nobody's as funny as me.
me: mmmm, no, that's not true. k is super funny. she ought to be a stand up.
[seconds later]
cg:well, she's not as cute as i am.
me:no, that's not true either. she's pretty damn foxy. she's got amazing golden brown skin.
[looks deflated, then pulls out her phone and checks her voice mail]
cg:well, i'm hard to be mad at.
me: that's definitely true. you can turn the cute on when you want to.
Confession: My computer is fucked right now so I'm stuck using Sheff's 'puter. That means I don't have access to all of my tons of bookmarks, inclduing tons of recipes that I want to try. BAAAAH!

Confession Part 2: I saw a recipe today that I want to try, but since I can't save a link to it on my own computer, I'm going to stick the link here instead.

confession: I'm cooking Thanksgiving Dinner, but I'm cheating on the mashed potatoes. But I did sample them and they're just as good as mine, so I don't feel too bad.
Confession: when I saw an ex had befriended a mutual friend, I changed my setting so said ex could see my picture when I posted on Mutual Friend's wall. It's not the best pic of me but it'll do smile.gif

I could just add him... but that would be too direct. And ultimately probably not the best idea--I need my privacy.
confession: FUCK, I miss him. It's like losing your best friend.
confession: ever since I broke up with Soulman, I've woken up every morning with a little bit of regret, but I've been able to shake it and have wound up feeling pretty good about it all before too long. Except yesterday. I don't know what was wrong with me yesterday. I couldn't shake the regret. And it was still upon me this morning, but I think it's mostly gone now.

confession: what I really still have is anger....I'm frustrated by Soulman's inability to communicate his needs until it all festers and then it's too late and it blows up WAY fucking beyond proportion, and I'm frustrated by his refusal to get help for the problem. I think that's where my regret REALLY comes from - "If I could just make him SEE!" Stupid, really. I've always known you can't change another person. But it's my regret that I can't make him see how that's affected me that upsets me the most.

confession: today is my 39th b-day & I am a seething pod of snotti rage.
the in-laws are still here and for a change- it's Her that's driving me ape shit.
I'm normally a 'I hate birthday's' kinda woman to start with (not the vain age, just the loss of time) but things have been particuallarly shitty w/ the mr the last few days & I just don't have it in me to be all polite & sweet today. my maud she's sooo cloyingly, helpfully SWEET (really) that it makes me want to take a brick to her fuzzy little head!
they need to go.


Confession: My family's Thanksgiving dinner is on Sunday, so I skipped eating with my parents to hang out in the Twin Cities with AZ Guy, eat at a veg-friendly cafe and watch a revival screening of The Big Lebowski. I still feel guilty for not spending the holiday with my parents, though.
((((doodle)))) ((((freckle))))

lilac, I'm confused. If the dinner isn't until Sunday wont' you just see your parents then anyway?

confession: I am jealous of my friends who get good grades and who seem to have no trouble writing an essay in just a few hours. It especially pisses me off because I've done it before and yet this time I just seem blocked. Also, I am going crazy trying to find secondary sources.
confession: this morning, I woke up with only a teensy-weensy pang of regret. What I felt, walking to work this morning,

confession (ok, not really a confession, but I want to be consistent with which thread I'm posting this in!): my dream of an all-girl band is coming together! All we need is a lead guitarist.....we are jamming on Sunday!
((((doodle)))) i don't mean to sound skeptical of your certainty in this decision, but sometimes breaking up is what's needed to save a relationship. This could be the kick in the pants he needs to self-improve. If you've seen that he's really changed, giving him another chance might be conceivable. Seems like you made each other pretty happy for the most part.
and by 'self-improving', i do mean improvement *for* oneself, not changing to make someone else happy. I've noticed that as soon as they're done moping, many people have more motivation to improve their lives after serious breakups. Serious breakups for me were some of the best catalysts to get shit done. Glad you're feeling better everyday-sounds like your own post-breakup motivation is kicking in. Yay for all-girl bands : )

((((everyone)))) I have a boring, pathetic confession. I have been to the office before 7 AM all weekend, even if it is a holiday in the states.

It hasn't really boosted productivity.
confession: yeah, I'm still all mixed up. Confused. I miss him. I want to be with him. There's no one else on earth I enjoy spending time with.

confession: he is confusing me, too. He gets angry when I tell people we've broken up. He never expresses it verbally, but it radiates off him. He gets sad and lost looking, and loses his confidence, like on stage. Yesterday, we got together to jam, and when I was in the bathroom, I heard him play "Bring it on Home to Me" on the guitar. ("If you ever change your mind, about leaving, leaving me behind.....")

confession: I'm thinking about writing him a letter. One more opportunity. Tell him I'm prepared to move on and I am doing so, but that he still has a chance if he is willing to get help. I don't know if it's a good idea or not. But if we can't communicate any other way.....maybe.....
(((doodlebug))) Go ahead and write it. You don't have to give it to him. But it could bring you back together and better than before. Or not. But you've put yourself out there and been honest and consistent.

confession: I am considering making e-man a birthday card and sending it to him. I too have a couple things I'd like to get off my chest, all these many months later, but really, I just want him to know that people care. They don't really make good birthday cards for exboyfriends who you are pestering just one last time in an attempt at closure.

confession: the above confession is ridiculous, but if I admit it irl, my peeps may murder me. And it probably ought to be in another thread. But damn if it doesn't feel shameful.
confession: for the first time sinse I found my own version of spirituality, God isn't hearing me when I tried to talk to Him just now.
I know why, but am still struggling.
confession: I am coughing so hard I keep pee-ing myself- and even the couch once! :
I am coughing so hard I keep pee-ing myself- and even the couch once!

Once again this thread reminds me that I am not the only one that something happens to. During bad colds, I actually have to wear pantyliners. blink.gif

Confession: I am feeling very insecure with my relationship at the moment. I think it is just a momentary thing but it is making my a little nutty. Between each of us having our turn being sick and then spending the holidays with my family while I was still not feeling good, I am feeling kind of unwanted and, well, untouched, at the moment. I am forcibly reminding myself that my family can be overwhelming and it makes sense that he needs some "guy time" at the moment. It just came at an unfortunate time for my emotions I guess. For goodness sake, we've only been back from Ohio for two days. Everything was fine there. I am just tired and insecure and feeling needy.
confession: on Monday I fled work pretending to be sick, and ran to the library to send him an e-mail. We're talking, anyway. He wants me back, but I told him, I can't go back to the way it was, and that maybe we both need a little more space to figure things out. Anyway. We'll see where it goes.

confession: I am not yet so convinced as to have cancelled my birth control appointment with my doctor (Soulman had the snip), which I am on my way to in about 3 minutes.
...I think I might be playing with fire.
mr.nick had a bit of a nervous episode the other morning, and i didn't want to talk to him all day. he was being a baby and i was kinda turned off.
confession: I still don't know. I just don't know. Time and space, that's what we need. That's what I need anyway.

confession: the Anarchist has started sniffing around since I broke up with Soulman. And I wonder if I am, as zoya writes, "playing with fire" by not discouraging him.
Confession: Out of sheer stupidity, I googled Mcgeek's ex and found out she still lived in Georgia. She still has his last name, and lives a few neighborhoods over.
Confession: This made me feel sick all day.
Confession: I really, Really, REALLY hate Christmas. A lot. Like, with the undying passion of one thousand desert suns. It makes it very hard to work in an office where everyone LOVES Christmas and it's so decorated that it looks like the Christmas Fairy threw up all over the place. Seriously - there are pointsettias placed on every second stair all the way up to my office! It's an accident waiting to happen, I tell you!

Call me the Grinch, call me Scrooge, I don't care. I hate Christmas. BAH-HUMBUG!

Oh, but I like Santa. Don't know why, but I always liked the idea of a fat, bearded man dressed in red going around giving presents out to good children via a reindeer-drawn sleigh. Don't know why, just do.
Oh rogue, I am SO with you there. I had 2 days off in the middle of last week, and when I came back to the office, Christmas had EXPLODED everywhere. I'm feeling slightly claustrophobic, and you would too if your nice, pristine, highly organized and clutter-free desk was suddenly ringed by evergreen garlands, twinkle lights, red glass bobble ornaments and shiny gold metallic things......and you don't even celebrate christmas because it's a former religious holiday morphed into a rabid consumer greed frenzy.

confession: Soulman and I are.....trying it again. I am nervously awaiting the moment everything falls to shit again, but so far, it is good, and he is really trying, and we are really talking. And the truth is, I'm a different person already, and he is having to come to terms with that. He seems to be doing well so far.

confession: the truth is, after I broke up with him - even though we were still striving to maintain our friendship, bandmate-ship, and business partnership - I felt like a part of myself had been fucking amputated.

confession: there is no sex in the world like make-up sex. Especially make-up sex after you thought you'd never ever have sex together again in this lifetime.

confession: I love him. I love him with all my heart.

My desk is covered in Christmas-y bullshit! I work the front desk (office assistant) so I guess it *has* to be, but what would they have done if I didn't celebrate Christmas for religious reasons? Because I actually don't celebrate Christmas, even though I'm Catholic. And I definitely agree with you on why I don't - it's a religious holiday that's been transformed into the shittiest, greediest holiday ever. Don't give me this "peace on earth, goodwill toward men" crap, either. Most people would run me over at Christmas if it meant getting the last of something in a store. Good will my arse! Bah!

I'm sorry. I get very crabby around this time of year. I really, really hate this season.

And also, ((((doodle)))). I definitely know how you feel re: Soulman. And Good Lawd, that kind of sex is amazing. *sighs* I miss it.
(((doodle))) You're a smart lady, you know how to be true to yourself and I hope soulman realizes that too.
Wow, so thankful my bosses are atheist-humanist-Jews. The most we do is buy a poinsettia to support the local high school band and tape up the holiday cards other people send us...oh, and enjoy the gift baskets other dentists and patients send us. And we just "smile and nod" when patients say, "Merry Christmas".

Doodle, you're smart and you should do what you think is best, and I hope whatever that is works out for you.
Confession: I am compulsively shopping. Because this is my bad time of year, I cannot help myself. The hole inside me gets big & hungry in December & needs to be filled with crass, shallow, wanton consumerism. And I'm mostly buying for myself, too.
Confession: I secretly miss torturing boys and using them for sex, money, emotional manipulation, thrills, ect. I'm now fantasizing about using and torturing S who may have a crush on me. I want to use him for all he has then slit his wrists and drink him dry.

It's probably a good thing I stopped dating boys.
confession: I got drunk and threw myself at my co-worker yesterday. NOT the one I am crushing on, either. Eeeesh. I can see a "respect in the workplace" seminar coming my way soon.
Confession: I am trying desperately to come up with an excuse so that I may beg out of Xmas.

Because my teen cousin decided to spend the holidays with her bf in Dallas, my aunt that lives there has managed to convince everybody to go there for the holidays. Needless to say, I am nonplussed at the idea. The flight is costly at this point & the airport there is murder. I love me grandad, but at 77 his reflexes aren't as good as they once were & I am terrified just driving around town with him, let alone all the way to Dallas. And there is no way in hell that they will let me book a room somewhere so I can get some peace. My auntie's house will be overrun & I will get stuck sleeping in a public area as I am a spinster by their standards.

Argh. Maybe if I just don't answer the phone . . . Nope. Gonna have to deal & deal later today.
confession: I haven't posted in here in a week and to tell you the truth, I don't know if I want to anymore.
I haven't done the holidays with my family in years. Every once in awhile I feel guilty about abandoning my mom....but at the same time, that's outweighed by how much PEACE I feel at having opted out of the whole ridiculous consumer-frenzy and the phony "aren't we a happy, loving family" bullshit. My mom SAYS it's okay this way, and that she doesn't care at all. She may be covering up, but it's not up to me to read her mind, so I'm going with this reality. Plus it's not like I don't see her and talk to her regularly. And the rest of the family - I don't give a shit how they feel about it. I don't care at all about Christmas, and I'm not going to be an unwilling participant in a now-meaningless cultural tradition that's based around the (WRONG) date of birth for a religious figure I don't even believe in. Why don't I just celebrate the birth of Perseus while I'm at it?

Rawr! mad.gif

Confession: While I am not happy with how things went down around here while I was gone, I'm going to stick around. I feel like if I don't Steve wins. He was the catalyst for the shit that went down & I refuse to give that cuntface the satisfaction of dividing & conquering. I'll just keep politely bugging TPTB to restore the edit function, etc.

Confession: Fuck Xmas & fuck my family. I'm simply not feeling it & if I go all I'm going to do is make everybody else miserable, too. "Oh, but those are the times you need your family the most." Uh, no. You may circle the wagons when you're down, but I find succor in my solace. So suck it.

Yes, I know my grandma was at her happiest when we were all together, but you know what? She's DEAD. It's not like she cares whether I show up for Xmas or not. If she wants to be disappointed in me from beyond the grave she can have the fuck at it.

And I know that I am the eldest & the favorite & I now represent my father's branch o' the family & my example & blahblahblahblah, whatever. I WILL NOT BE FORCED INTO DOING SOMETHING I DO NOT WANT TO DO. So I am going to stay here & sulk for the fucking holidays. Don't like it, lump it.

Oh, & I'd like to say fuck you to my mother's local clan. You people screwed me around. You do not have the decency to call me or talk to me face to face, but you'll send me a message on MySpace lamenting the fact that our relationship has eroded the way it has. NEWSFLASH! That is something you should have thought of before you decided to fuck me over! This isn't on me, it's on YOU. So SUCK IT!
I love Christmas. I love seeing all the decorations and the lights and getting and giving gifts. I look forward to it all year long. Winter seems so boring once it is all over. I'm not looking forward to going to church with The Geek's parents but only because I think I have forgotten how to behave in a church at all. Otherwise, I love it!
AP, I agree, I just feel like I don't have anything to say right now. I think I'll just stick to lurking for a while.
i confess that i don't really know what culture and AP are talking about...... oops....

and kitten i'm with ya with the christmas love. i don't care about christ or mass or any of that. but presents, sweets, ornaments, parties... all good.
Culture and AP, everything with steve/mods was just so ridiculous. Culture, even if you just lurk I hope you don't disappear.

I confess again: I fucking hate facebook and if anyone knows a phone number or email to contact them successfully please give it to me. I just want to be able to accept a goddamn invitation! /rant

I also confess: I'm laughing in my office because I work in alone in an apartment building and my office is in a bedroom in the suite we rent. I'm right next door to someone else's bedroom and I can hear almost word for word these guys next door and the music that's playing right now, Abba..."There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, fernando..." I don't know if they're playing a game or what.
Confession: I mispronounce words. I frequently say expresso instead of espresso (which I actually think is stupid sounding word anyway) and I never know the correct way that Bush was supposed to say nuclear.
Rudderless -- confession: I love EVERYTHING Abba. My favourite is Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight). I like to drive around and sing to it in the car.
Confession: I underhandedly convinced/suggested my Dad to get a Turducken this year because I've always wanted to eat one. He's going to barbeque it, which is even better.
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