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I must confess that I sent e-man a friendly email this morning. I wish I could have stopped myself. At least I didn't confess to missing him or anything.
My Asia professor is so boring, it's easier to have kinky sexual fantasies about him than to listen to his lectures. Did I mention he's old, paunchy, has male pattern baldness and married?
despite counselling and such, I have no coping mechanisms the week I have my period.

I fear that I'm throwing my progress out the door.
I wish I was closer with my cousin. She's two years younger than me and the daughter of my uncle who passed away a few weeks ago. I always feel like I don't know what to say to her and I wish we could be friends.
Awww, Ketto. Can you invite her over for dinner at your house or something?

I really really REALLY miss living alone.
confession: I can never find the threads I need when I go to look them up bc I forget the wording.
example : the Dog Thread.

we adopted a new dog yesterday!!!!! ( & I'd like to post about it where it goes but uh..)

confession: I'm getting jitters the closer it is to going to a Planned Parenthood Open House & Focus Group this afternoon. my fear of rejection is high right now.
confession: I have a certain prof who is hot, hot, hot! I talked to him after class today (nothing important of course, I'll find any excuse to talk to him) and I think I started blushing. Oh lordy, he's so hot.
lordy, i had a *burning* hot philosophy professor a couple summers ago..huge, gorgeous blue eyes and the face of Jared Leto, but more chiseled, and younger, taller and leaner, with chin length, dirty blonde hair and lots of facial scruff. He was SMOKIN'. And I'm certain he was aware of it-the first day of class, one of the first things he said to us was "Yes, I'm married, to a woman I love VERY much." If anything though, that probably drove the ladies even more wild for him....ahh, he loved to swing his head back subtly every couple minutes to flip his hair from his eyes. God, he was rockstar sexy.

confession on a similar wavelength... I had told intended-boy-toy that I'd see about open positions for my employer, doing what I do - didn't think about the fact that I don't really know him that well and I know even less what his work ethic / capabilities are. As luck would have it, we are so incredibly busy right now that, while needing people badly, it's not a good time to bring them on, cause there's no time to train them - we just need to hammer through this next couple months with the staff we have. Rough, but it does make sense. So I referred him to a sub-contractor of ours who is trying to work him into their schedule, but it will be very minimal. I told him the disappointing news about my employer last night on an IM, and now am sitting here wondering if that's that. I know that someone being any kind of attracted has nothing to do with what I can do for them, but all the same, I'm on to thinking - "who else do I know in this field who might be looking that I can refer him to?" I know intellectually that if I find him work, it's probably LESS likely that the payoff will be him wanting to hang with me - and yet, I've already started to go down that road, and kind of (unintentionally) set parameters, and now I'm stuck with it. Somehow I always (even subconsciously) seem to go back to some version of that thing that it's taken me years to understand isn't true: that if I just work harder / do better things for them / am the nicest person around, I'll win someone's affection.

Fuck you mom and dad, years of aggressively dealing with my shit, and I still have come back to putting myself in this position. And I know from all those years of working on my shit, that it was all you, and you constantly raising the bar on what would win your love. And me working to prove to you I could do it, but it never being enough. So now I've painted myself into this corner again. Goddammit.

oh, z,

don't get him work. you don't want him in your work place. esp. if things go south.


gt - oh don't worry, that's why I said "as luck would have it" - it just worked on it's own that the work thing is not going to happen. Keeping my ears open for any subcontractors who are looking, that's what I meant - but the bigger issue is that I went down that road in the first place. I always just think I'm being nice, and really I see in this situation I was just subconsciously going down that road of "buying" someone's affection, when clearly, I don't need to do. But now that I've kinda set the uh.. pace? parameters?, I feel I may have blown it. I should have just said "I don't know of anything, but I'll keep my ears open" at the beginning when he asked if I'd heard of any work, and left it at that. this is definitely more about ME than anything, lest you think I'm fretting over what a guy thinks... I just see this fucking pattern I thought I'd beaten, repeating itself. It's amazing how deep shit runs, ya know? Dunno if I've caught it early enough in this situation to change things on my end without changing the dynamic of where things go (or don't) bleh.


(((((rudderless and friend)))))
confession: late last night I was plucking a few errant strays from my scrawny eyebrows when I started to notice more ultra light & tiny hairs on my chin... then on my cheeks.. then on my upper lip. the more I looked the more I found til I totally & completely convinced myself I was turning into a wolfwoman & ran to the computer to google ' how much facial hair is normal for a woman in her late 30's?' and low & behold - gasp !
I'm normal. mellow.gif
had myself irrationally Freaked Out for nothin'.

my name is freckle and I am a candidate for DORK OF THE YEAR. (nominations are still being accepted)
Congrats, Freck! You're a mammal! biggrin.gif Seriously, though, I've done the same thing before. Totally freaked out & thought I was getting absolutely shaggy! But the next morning I looked at myself & realized I had simply been reading too many lady mags.
Freck, I tend to do that too. I think it's from a past medication I was on, but I hate it! For some reason, I only seem to notice them in the car. Then I freak out.
lol, Freck, I've done the same. I usually notice it when I'm tweezing and I have the mirror really close to my face. But then once I pull away and actually look at my whole face I realize that the hairs are so minute that they are practically invisible.
see, mine are real "hairs" hairs-dark, thick, coarse, and curly. Like pubes sprouting on my chin. I'm getting laser treatment. Tweezing just got to be too much.

(I have czechoslovakian roots)
tree- I too am getting laser hair removal, and mine aren't even that coarse. I just have always been self conscious of them, even though I dont' have that much. Just some dark hairs are enough for me to want to get them gone.

in other news (not that it's a confession, but I don't really know where else to put this, since I don't really post in kvetch regularly) I had dinner and many drinks tonight with Sybarite!! She's awesome!!
QUOTE(zoya @ Oct 3 2009, 10:25 PM) *
I had dinner and many drinks tonight with Sybarite!! She's awesome!!

Dude, that's awesome!
(((gt))) sad.gif
gt: so many in this life genuninely love and admire you baby girl.
when it gets you down, let us lift you up & support you; that's what friends are for.

going to try to give you a ring later~


yah star & syb!!
confession: I am inenurably appreciative to have the Lounge as a safe place to get comfort and be myself.
you all mean so much more to me than you could guess.

Last night I learned that underwear with ruffles on the butt do not go well with yoga pants. It's an unsettling sight, but since I was staying home on the couch, I chose not to change clothes.
RV, are you talking burlesque style undies?? I have a set and I love them, but as you said, once must be careful about what you wear them with.
Yes indeedy! Normally I'm a thong girl, but I was wearing a miniskirt on Sunday so I wanted a little more coverage just in case. Hence, full-coverage underpants with ruffles.
confessioin: there are some days, like today when how other people view me doesn't mean shit to me. i look in the mirror fresh from a skate, a sheen of sweat, tattooed, pierced, pretty brown skined, and de-wigged, with tough girl short hair, clothes peeled off, standing in my tighty whiteys with their boy bulge, my cute little boobs and my tomboy physique, and i think i have the sexiest body on the planet. huzzah! i know this euphoria will evaporate in an hour, but for now?! i love being right in the middle.

I love seeing your posts when you are happy-I get happy along with you, GT!
Revel in that euphoria GT!!!

Meeting up with Zoya was beyond awesome... as is she. She also thoroughly (re-)introduced me to her city and I can attest she's a great tour guide too!

(((Freckle))) I feel the same way.
I want to wear ruffled undies.

I wonder if I'll ever be happy/satisfied/content or if my default is that of seeker/questioner. I'm concerned.

I further confess I wish I had been a fly on the wall where Z and S hung out!
I am completely rocking out the control top shorts today under my jeans/dress. I guess there's a first time for everything. And it totally makes the outfit look better. Damn skinny a** models who make me want to look like a coat hanger. rolleyes.gif
GT, good to hear you feeling positive about yourself, even if it's just for a little while.

Raisin, I found them at Target. I've found some really adorable underwear there over the years.

Confession: I am trying my hardest not to splinter apart, but my cat is not helping the situation. She keeps peeing outside her box. We don't know why. The vet says she's fine. We have not changed her food or anything. So why?!?
Squeeee!! GT!!!


Confession: someone sent in a post card to post secret, and I could have sent the very same post card in.
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Oct 6 2009, 10:26 AM) *
Confession: I am trying my hardest not to splinter apart, but my cat is not helping the situation. She keeps peeing outside her box. We don't know why. The vet says she's fine. We have not changed her food or anything. So why?!?[/font][/color]

RoseV. - OMG, me too!!! I rescue/foster stray cats until we find them a home (or I get so attached they stay). My latest stray cat is a piss pot. I have successfully dealt with this issue in other cats...I can't do anything with this cat. He doesn't even do me the "favor" of peeing in the same spots so I know where to clean up. Yesterday morning I got up to find he had pissed on the pants I had left out to wear that day. I'm so afraid my other cats are going to start peeing all over too as a response (an all out cat turf war). I finally decided to make foster cat a place outside on my back fenced-in patio until I can figure out something else to try. I feel like such a mean fucking asshole for doing it to him, but what can I do?? I draw the line at living in cat piss hell.
My cat is getting up in age, and he has never been fat. I kind of wish he was a little chubby. I've been doing things to make him put on a little chub.
Koffeewitch, my situation is especially baffling because my cat only developed this problem recently. I cannot for the life of me understand what is wrong. I've already felt like such a failure lately, like I have so little power in my life, and this makes it worse.
Rose, I assume you haven't changed cat litter brands? Are you using an unscented one? If not, sometimes the fragrance can irritate them. And you think the litter box is big enough? And it's getting changed regularly?

If you still can't figure it out, I strongly recommend checking out the message boards at The Cat Site. People there are really friendly and knowledgeable, and they're not picky about starting new threads like we are, so feel free to start a new conversation.

Until then, you have my deepest sympathies!

I have a question about Post know down towards the bottom they have a screen shot of their Facebook page and it shows thumbnails of some of the "fans" of their page...whenever I look at it, there's always 3-4 people (usually Busties) who I'm friends with who show up (and the pictures of fans change every time you revisit the site)- does this happen for everyone or do I just have a disproportionate amount of FB friends who are also PS fans? If it happens for everyone else, how do they know it's you? Crazy interwebs.
Polly, I see the same thing!!! I also see that on a local paper I read, so I'm not too sure. I see it at work, and we can't access crackbook at work, so me thinks it's just a coincidence.
THANK you, Polly...I for one am always having cat issues. RIght now I split my time between tending one stray cat with the worst ear mite infection I have ever seen and trying to get the other strays to like nutritional yeast because the B vitamins will hopefully help prevent fleas.

Confession: I am a pathetic cat slave.
You're welcome, koffee- they have a section for people dealing with strays and ferals, if you didn't see it already.
ch & polly: I'm a PS reader too, and yes- have seen familiar faces there occassionally too.
and sometimes yes- there are secrets I could have written as well- which isn't that the point? to feel a little better about your life to know you're not alone in feeling that way?
however- as many busties as may also be fans/friends of the site, I would never cross the line & write or pm one saying something like " hey rv! was that your secret I saw the other day?!" bc you never know when that secret might be yours & would you really want anyone to know that?
that's what This thread is for! smile.gif (thank maud!)

confession: Zepplin our new Aussie Sheppard rescue is turning out to be considerably more work than we bargined for; we have laminate flooring in the entire downstairs of our house, but yet he makes messes Only upstairs where there is still carpet. that said he is a total lovebug who loves to kiss feet!
i get the same thing with postsecret...i don't know about ch if you can't access crackbook at work, but i know that if i look at anything where it has that embedded facebook thing, or any facebook group's page, if i'm on a computer i log in to facebook from, it'll sort the members by who i know. so people you are friends with always show up first.
confession: I have suddenly found myself the co-manager of an ongoing project that I really wanted to do - but I'm kinda freaked out that I won't live up to it. It's entirely me and my business partner's thing that we are building from the ground up, and I sooo don't want to drop the ball. It's that kind of fear of success / failure of doing your own thing coming up.

confession: I can't get someone out of my head.

and one more: I want intended boy toy to get a job so he will have the money to take me out for a drink. The fun begins then. tongue.gif

(((rudder))) Sending you some positive energy!

may I suggest some mindful meditation? If you would like me to send you an mp3, PM me with your email addy and I can get it set up for you.
it's so ok to be human sweetheart, you just need to find a less destructive way to manifest it.
(I'm a big one for chocolate poptarts & cheese pizza.)
sometimes the strongest of all know when to step back & re-charge themselves.
((((((((rudder))))))))) tons of love your way ~
I want to have sex so goddamn bad, with a cute young boy who adores me and I can have some fun with, both in and out of bed and around town, for a couple months......

.... but I feel like a fucking leper. fuck.
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