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You didn't need to delete your whole status post, you could have just deleted her comment. I've done it a few times. And just hiding their posts rules! I have a friend with an uber-conservative boyfriend that comments on her stuff all day long & I find his politics so offensive that I just hid her updates. It was a joy, I tell you, a joy. I've also hidden the people that need to tell me what cute thing their crotchfruit does every five damned minutes.
um aural, i am falling in love with you all over again. *snicker* will you has my interwebs baybeez?
doodle: you need to block her completely bc it's not just about not seeing her annoying crap- it's that she still has access to your {as you choose to share it} life thru crackbook.
that right there has given me the boost to give das boot to many a wanna-be's.
buh bye!

confession: I met a guy working at an antique store while I was on vacation and he has such really good energy, I flirted with him to get him to lower the price of the stuff I wanted but more than that- he was really cool. nice. deep down old school cool & genuine. I very nearly gave him my email address & said ' if you're ever in nc, look me up.' he said I was cute. and was single. and I have regretted not going back to his shop ever sinse then and am now 5 hours away again & didn't even get his name.
I am married and a mo-ron.

confession: I am debating getting the # of the shop & calling about the bakelite handled umbrella that I should have bought..
Thanks everyone for the input on this. I will watch her and see, delete anything I don't like. Mainly I will ignore her and hope to eventually be ignored back. Be too busy, you know. I AM too busy. Anyway, my crackbook page is open, b/c of the music. That's what finally made me join the damned thing. I don't post any real personal stuff.....when I want to post about my relationship or my own dramas wink.gif I find my way back to the Lounge.

May we all have a moment of thanks for the goddesses that gave us the Lounge?




But I'll block her if it comes to it, of course. I've had enough of people's fucked-upedness for a lifetime.
Hear hear, Doodle! Bust is the one place on-line where I feel like I can really open up. When I wnt to vent or just shoot the shit, this is where I go. You people are Teh Awesome!

AP, I was supposed to hem some drapes on July 10th, but I couldn't get motivated enough to do it. Was that because of your powerful mind control? Or am I just lazy?

Freckle, that's dangerous ground you're treading on. I can understand the desire to contact him - especially if you just want to keep things friendly - but ooooooh my. That might be a little too tempting. Slippery slopes and all that. Good luck working your way through that potential mindfield!

I confess that yesterday morning I woke up early, went downstairs, got out Sheff's poker chips and I put 913 poker chips on the dining room table. Nine hundred and thirteen. I needed to be able to visualize that number. Because there are 913 days in 2 & 1/2 years. 913 days when Sheff's father could have mentioned in an e-mail, "Hey, I've been seeing a woman and she's moved into my house with me!" 913 days when he did not say anything. 913 days when he chose to be a cowardly asshole.

Just after I finished stacking up those chips, my FIL came downstairs to fix a cup of tea. I almost confronted him about it. I almost told him why the dining room table was completely covered in stacks of poker chips. But I held my tongue.

They leave tomorrow afternoon.
Muahahahahahaha! 'Twas indeed me, RV! *twirls the ends of non-existant, yet malevolent, handlebar moustache*

RV, you gotta let it go no matter how mad it makes you. I say this from experience. He is a grown man, who he dates really isn't any of your business. You may think he made a poor choice in not saying anything to you guys about it, but it was/is his business & his choice to make, whether you like it or not.

My mom "omitted" to tell me she was seeing somebody for AGES, she started dating in early 2003, she didn't tell me until fall 2004. I knew she was dating & it pissed me off that she kept it like a dirty little secret. What made it so insidious was that I was taking responsibility for all of her fiscal issues while she was supposed to be caring for my ailing grandmother in OK. She'd call me crying because she insisted that my aunt wasn't pulling her weight & that she was pulling two, even three week shifts caring for her instead of the one week on/one week off they'd agreed to. Which was a TOTAL lie. She was spending one week with gran, one week with her boyfriend, one week with gran, & so on. I, of course, knew what was going on because I was paying her fucking bills. Plus, she started turning up with yeast infections every month from the BC she was using & made a HUGE production of taking herself to Walgreens ( I did all the shopping.) to buy a PREGNANCY TEST on the DL. Anyway, she threw up every smoke screen in the book, obfuscated left & right & just generally tried to make an ass of me. Like, he had taken to going WITH her to take care of my grandmother & she still hadn't even bothered to tell me about it. It just got worse & worse until I finally stopped talking to her because every word out of her mouth was a lie. These lies led to the complete & total deterioration of our relationship to the point that in the year she died, I spoke to her on the phone thrice, each time very briefly & regarding business only until I found out she was sick. I didn't call on Xmas, her birthday, mother's day, nothing. For a couple YEARS.

BUT who she dated & for how long was really her business, not mine. I felt like I had a right to know who was in my mother's life because she'd made so many poor choices after my father died that I was uber-protective of her. Her not telling me felt like the world's biggest betrayal. But it wasn't. She was a grown up, too, it was her life & she could take care of herself. He is a good & well-meaning man even if he is an ugly, drunk, crass, exceedingly thick redneck.

Do I understand WHY she did it? Yes. She was embarrassed by him, she didn't like confrontation, & she was just plain fucking stupid. She tended to try to "predict" how things with me would turn out, but in her mind, I was still a petulant nine year old, not an adult woman with a love life of her own that just *might* understand what it was like to date somebody that her family wouldn't approve of. And our relationship suffered for it, but she made her choice & I made mine.
confession: despite the desire my partner has for both of us to shake off the shackles of our upbringings, I find I must hold onto some if it, because that fear of my family's chaos is what keeps me standing on my own two feet, refusing to depend on anyone. I know I will never find myself in a position of subservience, because I have control of my own life and my own money, however precariously I'm managing it at the time.

confession: I tell every young woman I get to have an extended conversation with that the most important thing in being able to do what you REALLY WANT in life is to have your own way to support yourself. I wonder sometimes if I'm coming across as some meddling middle-aged woman who's torn up by bitterness or something. But I tell them anyway.
rv: I won't do anything about it. in retrospct it was just nice for even the shortest minutes to have that sort of exchange w/ a man again. to be seen as a Woman rather than slob /worthless except for sex etc etc.
things w/ the mr are not exactly good...

doodle: I wish I wish I wish you could have given me that talk say.. 15-17 years ago I had actually listened.
keep sharing your wisdom sister.
doodle, you are not meddling at all. My mom has always told me that I should learn how to support myself and be sure that I can do it so that I never have to rely on a man or anyone else for that matter.
AP, you're right and I know in time I'll be able to let go of my anger. I find it impossible to stay angry with people for very long. I think, though, that there is a point when the goings-on in our parents' lives do become our business ... or at least it does if we wish to share our lives with one another. In my family, we talk about things. I may live more than 1000 miles away from my parents, but I know a lot about what's happening in their lives because we talk very frequently. Sheff's family, however, seems pretty crap about communicating the most basic things to one another. It would be okay if my FIL had started seeing someone occasionally and hadn't mentioned it. I would totally get that. But this woman clearly is a MAJOR part of his life. They are clearly VERY committed to one another. They have lived together for 36 months. They travel together. It sounds like her family has known about their relationship for a while. So why are we only finding out about her now?

There's a lot of other stuff involved here that I'm not getting into. It's complicated.

Anyway, the FIL and his girlfriend left today. I stayed friendly and welcoming the whole time they were here and completely hid my bursts of anger and frustration. Sometimes I even found myself enjoying myself. Although I'm still upset on some level - mainly on Sheff's behalf - I'm trying to make the best of it. The FIL may have been extremely secretive over the past 3 years, but he's opening up now. That's a start.
Confession: Um, I don't know if it is the solar eclipse coming up, Saturn entering Virgo, having my yoga class free up alot of energy in me or what, but, muthafucka, I'm feeling super-restless. Like, I can run the streets restless. I'm having a glass of wine to unwind. But, shit, I feel like I'm gonna be up late tonight.
I don't know your complications, RV, but it took somebody that had been through the same thing with her daughter to get my head around it. Everybody has a right to some privacy/what they choose to disclose. Just because your family "talks" & "shares", you cannot expect full disclosure nor do you have an absolute right to it. It's still his business. Whatever his reasons were (The "why?" will just drive you crazy!), he obviously felt the need to keep this to himself & all you can do is respect that.

And Sheff's clan is English, no? They aren't known for being the most . . . the term stiff upper lip is frequently applied for a reason. I recall reading a quote once that was something like the Queen didn't show open affection to anything that didn't fart, bark, or whinny.
((RV)) ((AP)))

Star, I felt the same way last night.

Confession: Mcgeek's clan and the money issue. This from the same clan that asked him to pay for a wedding last year. We really need that money back for a bunch of different things. Now his brother and father are fighting over this issue. I wish he would just confront his dumbass brother b/c the same amount of rent (over 2K) is what he owes us. I also don't understand why his mother said nothing about her separation. I'm trying to not get involved. I just feel as though Mcgeek is getting used. He's living this role of "Well Mcgeek has a great job and makes money, so it doesn't matter..." I seriously doubt that any of them are coming to the wedding.

Confession: I'm still anxious and grumpy.

confession: I love my dear friend and bass player the Anarchist with all my heart, but at the same time, nary a week goes by that I don't want to shove him off a building. If we'd ever gotten together, I would have killed him by now.

confession: I'm not sure the nice, corner-windowed, air-conditioned, egonomically-correct office I work in can make up for the damage that living off the avails of gambling is causing to my mortal soul.
(((((Sassy))))) (((((McGeek))))) Gosh, the hits just keep on coming, don't they? Ya'll have had a pain in the ass summer & it's barely half through.

Doodle, your mortal soul is made of pretty tough stuff. I think you'll do okay. wink.gif

Confession: I do not know how to tell members of my jebus freak conservative family that I am a feminist without gettting the stink eye. I bought a copy of the latest Bust yesterday with my auntie & the cover blurb about likening lady parts to Mick Jagger? Completely freaked her out & we had an AWKWARD drive home.

Confession: The Yosh is now dwindling. I expect I will lose my lone furbaby by summer's end. They can't seem to find anything wrong with him. After a month or so of thriving on all the solo attention, he seems to have just given up without his partner in crime.
Aww, sorry about the kitty, AP sad.gif I hope they find something that they can treat. What about getting him some company- maybe he's just lonely?

No advice on the family stuff, other than ignore them. If they haven't figured out that you march to a different drummer than them yet, screw 'em.

((sassy & mcgeek))
(((((ap sassy mcgeek)))))

i was having a conversation last night with mr. t, it reminded me of the puppy monster. i hate than anyone should have to feel that way. soo sorry.
confession: I sorta accidentally on purpose set the fire alarm off in a building while it was raining because the building manager pissed me off. (whoopsie, didn't realize there was refrigeration oil in those gauges!)

Sorry, but I can diagnose the freezer just as well as "the guy" can.

And I smirked as I drove off while they were all standing outside in the rain.
oh tree, you are wuuuuuuuuuunnderful! wub.gif

*and Rudder. I am a hack.
tree, you are cool. cool.gif

Confession: In the past couple of months, I wonder if my insomnia would be gone if I had someone to share my bed with. I sleep better when someone is with me.
I'm crushing- as always, on Tree!
woman you got mad vagina!

it's 6 AM & I've been up for 2 freakin' hours w/ a headache.
tylenol sucks . mad.gif

confession: I had sympathy for the devil last night and now wonder if I am going soft or am just damned literally.
You gotta do aspirin and tylenol, freck- it's the headache cocktail. That's what Excedrin is, with some caffeine thrown in. Usually I just take a couple aspirin and a couple tylenol. 90% of the time, it works.
Confession: I showed pictures of me in the wedding dress I'm going to buy to my co-workers, only because I'm not inviting any of them to my wedding, which of course, they don't know. Everyone else, I'm showing the picture of the dress on a model from the designer's website.
I've had some weird stomach upset for the past two weeks - including a bout of vomiting on Wednesday that had me convinced I had swine flu - and this morning I was happy because my stomach was flat for the first time in ages. I know appallingly shallow it is to not mind being ill because it makes me thin, but I can't help it.
I went to a music festival and made plans to meet up with one of my acquaintances from work there. I found out another friend was going and when I arrived (late) I called them both. Neither one answered their phones so I ended up wandering around and dancing alone. The music was good but it would have been nice to have someone to share it with.

I cried myself to sleep over this because I am so sick of being alone all the damn time. I couldn't have even brought AZ Guy to this because he doesn't like jam bands and he wouldn't see the point of spending a ton of money just to camp, drink beer and smoke weed when he could do that for free. I just wish I could find a couple of friends to do stupid stuff like this.
I'm really wanting to just get away this weekend. Somewhere groovy. I just wish we had to money to do it. I'd look to just go by myself though without Mcgeek.

I'm tired today, and really don't feel like writing. I also don't feel like working out, but know I should to get healthy.


I spent last night {at a party w/ the mr} w/ both a budhist & a redneck & don't know which one I liked more.

I am addicted to body piercing. I find that I crave it the most (more so than usual) when I am in emotional pain. I have to have physical pain to match my emotional pain. Good thing every good shop in this city has wait time for tats, ich that could be dangerous if it wasn't.
confession: apparently I am not as over my trust issues as I thought I was. Apparently I am so not over my trust issues that my BAND MEMBERS confronted me with it on Friday night at Boston Pizza, after our gig. It struck a nerve so deeply that I snapped, "You're right. I've never been able to trust anyone but myself!" - while climbing up onto the chair and vaulting over the patio railing. Whereupon I found myself bawling on Victoria Street and being comforted by an alcohol-addicted homeless musician I know, who told me that no matter how many times you get knocked down, you have to get up and keep trusting people, because that's what relationships are all about. And then he told me he was going into detox on Monday morning, because music was the most important thing in the world and he didn't want to lose that to anything. And then he poured water over my head. (With my permission. It was very hot outside.)

confession: my trust issues led to a further confrontation with my partner, also my bandmate, later that evening, when I took off for an hour-and-a-half so I could overcome my crying. Except I didn't tell him I was wandering off and he freaked out. By the time I came back, he was ready to drop me off back at my house and take off to the music festival by himself the next morning. Except it didn't work out that way, thank the lordessa. But it was a very difficult moment, and I'm still not sure we are past it.
And then he poured water over my head. (With my permission. It was very hot outside.)

think about it as a baptism, and a chance to start over and try again.
oh doodle. sad.gif
coc, it's so weird, I got back and read your post right after lunch, when I was walking down the same street, revisiting the scene of the crime, scribbling in my notebook about Milo's baptism. That's EXACTLY what I wrote. I was looking for him, hoping not to find him so that I could believe he's in rehab. I didn't find him, but Soulman says he saw him earlier on the street.

I think at least one song is coming out of this last weekend.

Thanks all for your hugs. God/dess, I am SO grateful the Lounge exists.....who else would I tell all this stuff to but busties?

Band practice in 30 seconds, gotta go.....
Thanks everyone. I did manage to meet up with a friend afterwards for lunch, but I still wish I had a few more people to hang out with.

(((((doodlebug)))))) At least there will be something positive that will come of the experience.

Culture, I think I'm the same way about tattoos. If I had more money then I'd have at least a full sleeve, if not more.
confession: I feel like every time I turn around friends of mine with absolutely no formal photography training are taking amazing pictures. This just makes me feel like even more of a failure for flunking out of photography in college 5 years ago. I just saw some pictures that my cousin took and they are absolutely incredible and I feel like such a loser for not being able to take pictures like that. I don't know if I should even try. I haven't really picked up my camera since I dropped out.
candy? pick up your camera and shoot. i know you don't know if you should try. sometimes i feel that way about some artists i know that do stunning photorealistic paintings, but they can never have my voice, my style, and there's something other than what they do. the same thing applies to you. figure out what you like, what your strengths and weaknesses are, then use that to your advantage-- if you can't figure something out, then figure out a way to hide the flaw till you can work it out, but know you bring something your friends never can-- you. your experience, your point of view. value and cherish that, k? now go shoot. wink.gif

confession:everything is overwhelming me right now. i'm in an unemployment waiting period. i did my paperwork a week early in hopes of minimizing the wait. it was supposed to last one week. it's been a month. my bills have been piling up, and i took the u/e person's word that it would be a week max, and planned for that. i have no money, my bills are coming due, rent is due at the end of the week, i finally got over a artist block, and started drawing+painting last week, and this killed it. i'm ge

confession:one of the main reasons i got my dimples pierced was so i couldn't escort anymore. yet here it is 2 mos from that, and i might have put up ads to fucking make rent. thanks uncle sam. fucking thanks.
candycane - just do it! I felt similarly about professional dancing for years, compounded by the reality of my growing farther and farther away from my nimble 20s. The worst thing you can do to yourself is not try at all. You're still young, you have some foundation training and you have a gnawing interest - you have more going for you right now than you realize. What if you begin in a format that you know particularly well. Sometimes the limitation leads to something very unique.

Oh ((GT)) a lot of us are in the same position. The only reason I'm not doing something about it is because a civic strike makes it impossible for me to get my license renewed. You've got more guts than most people do and more honour, you know that right?
CCG, consider that photography skills might just run in your family! My brother is a professional photographer and does amazing work. I'm nowhere near as good as he is, but when I look at his work I think I appreciate it more because he's my brother. It makes me feel a stronger connection with him.

Also remember that a lot more casual photographers are manipulating their photos with software programs nowadays, so they often appear to be more skilled than they really are. Occasionally I will tweak my photos a bit using free on-line programs like Picnik, while my brother uses a Photoshop program that is far more advanced.

(((((((((GT))))))))))) Ditto what GL said.

Doodle, I think I understand a bit of what you feel. I used to have some trust issues that kept me from being as emotionally intimate as my friends would have liked. I have a feeling that your music will be a great way for you to work through this. I think that when you show more of your tender side to these people, they will embrace it and love you for it.
CCG, I get comments about the photos I take yet I didn't do too well in the only photography class I've taken. Sometimes things like education are more of a matter of taste and opinion than a reflection of what you're capable of. I'm with the rest in telling you to go for it.


Confession: I stayed up way too late last night because I didn't want to wake up to the reality of work and now my mood is all fucked up.
cc girl, I know what you're going through. It's been 9 years since I flunked out of art school (also focusing on pun intended) and it's just been in the last year and a half or so that I've started enjoying taking pictures again. I was sort of a "star" photographer in high school and was burnt out by the second year of college. Part of it is that I flunked out right when the transition from film to digital was going on and digital photography just doesn't feel real to me. I know it takes time and effort, but it just feels like the craftsmanship has been taken out of it. You've just got to decide to take pictures for yourself, that make you happy, and not for other people.

Oh, and (((hugs to gt, too!)))
(((((ccg)))))) ((((((((((gt)))))))))
((ccg))) (((gt))))

(((((cct & gt)))))
I realized recently that I am a square now and a true adult because my teen-aged cousin is coming to visit and I have NO IDEA what to do with her while she's here. I think we're going to spend a couple of days at the beach, but what else? Should I just let her sleep in as late as she wants every day and take it from there? It's her last week of summer vacation, so I want her to do whatever she wants, but I kinda feel like we should do something, you know?

I should probably be cleaning right now in anticipation of her arrival on Saturday, but instead I'm drinking a rum & coke while watching Pootie Tang. So maybe I'm not too much of an adult afterall. Sa da tay!
wa da tah!
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